Waiting For Mr. Ashwell

by K. Sterling

  Ash tried not to laugh as Ned fell out of the coach and stumbled into the woods. He’d held out for two hours before he beat on the roof to stop. He heard Ned heaving in the trees and leaned against the coach. After the suffering he’d endured, Ash wasn’t feeling as charitable as he had during the trip to Town. It was uncomfortable to sit for so long but it didn't stop the tingling and the hardening of his cock every time he recalled his collapse in the dressing room. It had been catastrophic, that orgasm. Ash had felt purged and raw afterword. But that didn’t compare to how he felt in the library as Ned took him. Ash had felt completely possessed and vulnerable. The pleasure had destroyed him. He felt completely leveled in the aftermath. Ash wasn’t sure if it had been from the ecstasy of it all or Ned’s words. Ned’s words had destroyed him as well.

  Even though Ash knew that Ned had no interest in that awful Wembley woman, it had turned Ash inside out to see her touching Ned. He didn’t want anyone else touching Ned. Ever. Ash remembered all the times he’d seen Ned with women and it made him sick knowing that other hands and lips had been on Ned’s body. He hated that Ned had the memories of all those hands and lips on him. And there had to be men that wanted Ned. Ash was safe in that they weren't likely to make their desires known but for a moment, he was afraid that someone would and Ned might consider it.

  It had taken all of Ash’s self control not to snarl and roar as they hurried through the crush in the ballroom. Ash wanted to scream and tear at the bodies around him. He wanted to warn them all to keep their eyes off of Ned, not to touch him. Ash wanted them to know, in the loudest, most violent way possible, that Ned was his.

  Then, Ned had shown Ash in the most elemental and profound way possible, that Ash belonged to him. When it was over, there was nothing but Ned. Whatever had existed within Ash before was now Ned. Ash no longer pulled air into his lungs to breathe, he pulled in Ned. He no longer ate to fuel his body, he lived off of Ned.

  It was beautiful and terrifying and Ash didn’t think he could possibly be happier. That didn’t mean he didn't resent how sore his ass was two days later. Especially since he was going to be spending the day sitting on it. He grinned as Ned tripped through the tall grass and staggered toward the coach. Ash held up the water and grinned as Ned snatched it from him.

  “It’s a bloody stupid place to put the capital.” Ned complained under his breath before he rinsed his mouth and spit. He shoved past Ash as he climbed back into the coach. Ash laughed softly before he followed.

  “Maybe George will move it closer to Elston if you ask nicely.” Ash suggested as he pulled the door shut behind him. Ned banged on the roof and held his breath as the coach rocked forward. He narrowed his eyes at Ash.

  “Try not to enjoy this so much.” Ned grumbled. Ash put his feet on the bench across from them and sighed.

  “Come here.” Ash settled Ned against him and wrapped his arm around Ned’s shoulder as he pulled his head against his chest. Ned relaxed and slid his arm around Ash’s waist.

  “I’d be fine if we never went back to Town.” Ned murmured into Ash’s waistcoat. Ash smiled as he brushed his fingers through Ned’s hair.

  “Me too.” He said softly. A very wide and wicked grin spread across his face. “We should go to the hunting cabin when we get back to Elston.” He kept his voice soothing and warm. Ned hummed drowsily.

  “That sounds lovely.” He whispered as he started to drift off.

  Ash spent the rest of the afternoon plotting his revenge.

  Chapter 28

  “Pillows.” Ash commanded as he returned to the bed.

  Ned tried to scowl but he noticed Ash’s limp was a little worse than usual. He frowned as he dragged himself across the bed. He heard Ash groan as he lowered himself and settle behind him. After Ash returned from the war, he’d made it very clear that he didn’t want people to pity him because of his leg and he’d always changed the topic when his leg came up. Ned felt his lips tighten in frustration as he felt Ash shifting restlessly behind him. It was Ash’s leg but Ned felt like he had a right to talk to Ash about it. Hell, it was as much his leg now too. Ned narrowed his eyes and sat up as he turned toward Ash.

  “What can I do?” Ned asked. His tone was firm, he wasn’t asking for permission to help. Ash’s brows pulled together and he looked up at Ned in confusion. Ned rolled his eyes. “Your leg is hurting you. I want to help.” Ned said slowly. Ash shook his head and waved Ned off.

  “There’s nothing you can do. It’ll be fine in the morning.” Ash grumbled as he reached for Ned. It was a very gentle way to dismiss him. Ned wasn’t having it. His eyes scanned the room and an idea came to him.

  “Give me the oil.” Ned ordered. Ash’s brow raised.

  “I’m going to need a little more time, Ned. Even if my leg wasn’t bothering me, we just finished.” Ash murmured before he threw his arm over his eyes. Ned clenched his jaw as he felt his temper stirring. He hit Ash in the stomach. Hard enough to knock the wind out of him. Ash hugged his stomach and gasped. “What the hell was that?” Ash wheezed.

  “It’s not for your cock, you ass.” Ned scolded. “Quit being stubborn and give me the oil. I want to try something.”

  Ash glared at Ned as he reached for the oil. Ned snatched it and twisted the lid off. He poured a generous amount on Ash’s thigh and he jumped. Ned pinned him with his eyes, warning him to be still. He handed Ash the bottle and carefully rested his hands on Ash’s leg. Ned let his hands slide gently over the muscle of Ash’s thigh. Ash groaned and Ned looked to see if he was hurting him.

  “It feels good.” Ash whispered. Ned smiled softly.

  He made his strokes a little firmer and worked along the long scar that wrapped around Ash’s thigh. Every now and then Ash would say “There.” or “Harder.” and Ned would feel warmth spread in his chest. It was so rare that he could do something for Ash. Ash was always taking care of him, it felt amazing to be able to help Ash in this way. Of the many perfect moments they had shared at the cabin, this was quickly becoming Ned’s favorite. He smiled, they were all his favorite.

  Their week at the cabin was almost over. It had been even more heavenly than their first “hunting trip” though the beginning had been a bit aggressive. Ned woke up the first morning and found himself tied to the bed. Ned called for an hour before Ash returned from hunting. Once Ash came in, he was ruthless. He used Ned’s mouth, thrusting into it while he kneeled on the bed by his face. After, took Ned with excruciating slowness. Instead of finishing inside of Ned, Ash pulled out and made Ned watch as he stroked himself to completion. Then, Ash went to the kitchen and ate breakfast while Ned yelled like a lunatic from the bedroom.

  Ned was certain that Ash had reached new levels of cruelty when he sat and drank a cup of tea while Ned begged for a cup. Ash didn’t give him one bloody sip. Ash just sat in a chair, naked and smug as he casually sipped his tea while Ned cried.

  But Ned had been wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Ash was just getting started. If Ned thought the first hour was brutal, the next three were pure torture. Ash made himself comfortable between Ned’s spread and restrained legs and sucked and rubbed and stroked for hours. Hours. In the beginning, he would take Ned to verge of his release then stop. Ash would wait until Ned’s breathing had calmed and his body had cooled before he started over. Then, he took Ned to the very edge of his climax and backed off just enough to keep him from coming. Ash kept Ned shaking and panting, and pleading, for at least an hour. When Ash finally let Ned come, the pleasure had been so intense and the force of his release so strong, Ned had lost consciousness. Ned woke up to Ash driving into him. Hard. Ash used lengths of silk to bind Ned’s hands and feet and he used the bindings around Ned’s hands to pull himself deeper and harder into Ned. Lord, Ned had screamed so loud. Ned thought they were done when Ash finally came inside of him. Wrong, again.

  After Ash had cleaned Ned, he went back in the kitchen and ate lunch. By then, Ned was too exhausted to think of food before he pa
ssed out. Ned woke up an indeterminate amount of time later, gasping as Ash slid into him. Ash had placed pillows under Ned’s ass, allowing him to drive deeper into Ned’s body. Ned had never begged so hard and so loud. By the time it was over, his voice was hoarse and Ned was babbling incoherently.

  When Ash finally untied Ned, he was weak and inexplicably euphoric. He wrapped himself around Ash and practically purred. The next morning, Ned probably wouldn’t have pissed on Ash if he was on fire. Everything hurt. Ned left bed long enough to stumble out to relieve himself a few times but otherwise spent the entire day sleeping. The only time he liked Ash was when he brought him tea and scones in bed. Ned nearly wept as he ate and drank.

  Ned did get to have a spot of revenge. He looked Ash right in the eye as he raised his tea cup to his lips and then tilted his hand until tea poured over the rim and spilled on the coverlet. “Oops.” was all Ned said before he righted the cup and continued drinking. Ash’s eyes flared before he jumped to his feet. His fists pumped wildly in the air as he screamed and cursed silently before he strode angrily from the room. Ned roared with laughter as Ash stalked from the house. Then, Ned ate a scone. Without using a plate to catch the crumbs before he rolled over and went back to sleep.

  The next morning, Ned woke up in the middle of a clean bed and the smell of coffee and breakfast filling the cabin. He stood and stretched and found that he was only in mild pain. Ned yawned as he walked into the kitchen and found Ash leaning against the table reading the news sheet. Ned went to him and Ash leaned, offering his cheek. Ned smiled.

  “I love you.” Ned murmured as he kissed it. Ash grinned as he read.

  “I love you too.” He mumbled before he put the sheet down and went to pour Ned’s tea.

  The only thing that would have improved the meal was if Ash had been naked as well. Not that Ned would have been able to take advantage. But everything was better when Ash was naked.

  Things were much more peaceful the next few days. Ash hunted in the mornings, they had naked breakfast, then they usually did naked reading and naked lunch. Ned and Ash swam every day, sometimes twice a day. There was naked dinner. And naked sex. Lots of naked sex. Ned usually asked if they could live at the cabin afterword and Ash would tell Ned why it wasn’t possible.

  As Ned felt the tension leaving Ash’s leg and the rest of his body, Ned decided that it was definitely his very favorite perfect moment.

  “Is it any better?” Ned asked softly. Ash’s eyes opened and he sighed.

  “Much better. It doesn’t hurt anymore.” His lips curved and he pulled Ned to him. This time, Ned went. Ash wrapped himself around Ned and pulled him tight against him. “Thank you.” Ash whispered and kissed Ned’s ear.

  “Ash.” Ned murmured as his eyes became heavy.

  “Ned?” Ash’s voice was deep and made Ned drowsier.

  “When you were planning to torture me, was the tea intended to be part of it?” Ned asked. Ash laughed softly.

  “Absolutely. I started with the tea and worked my way out. I thought, ‘The only thing Ned loves more than me is tea. I’m going to tie that brat up and make him watch me drink tea.’” Ash whispered against Ned’s shoulder. Ned gasped.

  “You’re a cruel man, Ash.” Ned complained before he yawned. Ash smiled against his skin.

  “I know.” He said softly.

  “I don’t love tea more than I love you.” Ned mumbled sleepily. “I’d say you’re about even.” Ned heard Ash snort and felt his head shake.

  “Ned.” Ash rumbled.

  “Ash?” Ned yawned.

  “Shut up and go to sleep.”

  Ned was nearly gone when his eyelids lifted and his eyes slid to the window. The moon looked so much closer when they were at the cabin. Did Ash say something? He held still and listened.

  “Never stop loving me, Ned. I don’t think I could survive it if you did.” Ash whispered against the back of Ned’s shoulder.

  Ned frowned. Ash thought he was asleep. He kept very still as Ash continued to tell him how much he loved him and needed him. It was hard to keep his breathing even as Ned started to cry but he knew that Ash would be embarrassed and upset if he knew that he was awake. And Ned didn’t know what to say or do. He knew that if he rolled over and confronted Ash, he wouldn't listen or believe anything Ned said.

  How can he still have doubts? Ned needed to find some way to show Ash, to get through to him. He hated how worried Ash sounded. Ned could never hurt Ash but he knew that Ash was in pain because of him. There had to be something he could do, something Ned could give Ash to prove to him that he needed him and loved him just as fiercely in return.

  He listened as Ash’s voice started to fade, then Ned waited until Ash’s breath became relaxed and even before he turned in his arms. Ned pulled Ash against him and gently kissed his forehead. He let his lips feather over Ash’s face and breathed words so light and soft they could only be felt. Ned promised Ash they would never be apart, that he couldn’t live without him, that Ash was his entire world. As Ned succumbed to sleep, he vowed that he would make Ash believe, that he would put an end to his fears. Ned needed Ash to be happy.

  Chapter 29

  The moon was high and full and Ash was in a particularly fanciful mood. Tonight, he thought he could see the hunting cabin from his window. He knew he could see the mountain but it wasn’t likely that the cabin would be visible. Still, he imagined he could. It was one of the reasons he liked his new room. In the chaos of his mind, that first evening, the view from the window had drawn his eyes and he knew the cabin was out there.

  There were the other benefits to the new room. It was lovely being so close to Ned. They often kept their doors open so they could see each other moving about and they drifted easily back and forth when they were alone. They usually slept in Ash’s bed but some nights, they fell into Ned’s.

  The colors and fabrics were more soothing and Ash could admit to himself that the larger bed was more comfortable. Not that his old bed had been uncomfortable, it was just more cramped when Ned slept there. Here, they had room to stretch out. Not that they ever did, they always seemed to be intertwined. Ash smiled. They would probably be just as comfortable in a child’s bed. He heard Ned’s door open and felt anticipation swell within him as he waited for Ned to come in. Ash looked back out and squinted at the mountain. I see a shape in the trees, he convinced himself.

  “Ash, can you come in here?” Ned called. Ash pushed away from the window and crossed the room.

  Ash felt warmth seep through his robe before he entered Ned’s room. When Ash stepped in he gasped. There had to be a hundred candles, the room was brighter than day. It was as if Ash had stepped into a sun. In the middle of the glow, on the bed, brighter than all the candles, Ned waited.

  “What is this?” Ash asked as he looked around.

  “Sit with me.” Ned patted the bed.

  He was sitting with his legs crossed in front of him and there was a small, wooden box in his lap. His robe was open, revealing his chest. Ash felt himself tremble as he looked at Ned, luminous in the middle of this tiny sun. Ned grinned and it was soft and made Ash feel like he was melting. Ash took a deep breath and crawled onto the bed next to him. Ned leaned close and pressed a quick kiss to Ash’s lips before he set the box on the bed between them. He took Ash’s hand and raised it to his lips. Ash couldn’t understand why he suddenly felt so nervous as he stared at Ned.

  “Ned?” He raised a brow, trying to appear in control. Inside, he was starting to feel hysterical.

  “I’ve spent weeks trying to think something I could give you. But it’s so damned hard. I can’t spoil you with jewels or luxuries. You have no interest in any of that and you can buy yourself anything you please. You love books but you already know that all of mine are yours.” Ned kissed Ash’s hand again. Ash squeezed his hand.

  “You don’t have to give me anything, Ned. I have you. What else do I need?” Ash whispered. He knew his voice wasn’t ca
pable of more. Ned suddenly looked serious and Ash became still.

  “I need to do something. You’re scared, Ash. I hear you at night.” Ned said softly. Ash couldn’t breathe. Ned saw and pulled Ash’s face to his and kissed him swiftly, giving Ash his breath. Ash shut his eyes and forced his chest to move. “I don’t want you to be scared. So, I’ve been trying to think of a way to make you understand.” Ned’s eyes poured into his and Ash felt warmth bloom within his chest.

  “I know, Ned. I know you love me.” Ash insisted. Ned shook his head softly.

  “It’s not enough, Ash. I want you to know how much, I have to show you.” He opened the box and gave it to Ash.

  Ash blinked as he looked inside. There were rocks, worn chess pieces, bits of string, pieces of broken colored glass that looked like dirty gems, coins, a few tiny soldiers… For some reason they were all familiar. He shook the box gently and the contents shifted and he saw Ned’s old compass. Ned’s father had given it to him when he left for Eton. Ash smiled as he pulled it out. Ned used to carry it around his neck and they would check it while adventuring around Elston as boys. Ash turned it over and saw the familiar inscription.

  Follow your heart first.

  Tears formed in Ash’s eyes. He used to be so jealous of the compass. Later, he understood it was because he was jealous that Ned had a better father. As he got older, the jealousy faded and he was grateful that Ned was the man he’d become and knew that his father had been his greatest influence.

  “Open it.” Ned said softly.

  Ash’s hands shook as he sprung the clasp. His brows pulled together when it opened and he saw that there were items hidden inside. There was a tiny piece of canvas with the likeness of Ned’s mother and another of his sister as a young girl. Ash laughed softly as he remembered Caroline as a child. He set them aside and carefully picked up the last item. It was a piece of folded paper. It was worn and delicate. Ash looked up and Ned nodded. Ash set the compass down and carefully started unfolding. It was a page from a book. Ash’s heart slowed and started to burn when he saw that his name was written all over it. The variations in ink, the sizes of the letters and skill of the handwriting were so random and covered the entire page as Ash’s named overlapped and twisted around it. Toward the bottom there was a line of print left uncovered.