Incognito

by Siobhan Davis

  “Aw, how sweet. You want to be my surrogate dad.”

  “Jackass,” he murmurs under his breath just as the waitress reappears, practically throwing our omelets down in front of us. “Jeez,” he says to her retreating back. “What’s her problem?”

  “I think someone pissed in her cornflakes too.”

  “Or maybe she’s pining after some jackass who loves her but is too afraid to fight for her,” he retorts, stabbing me with a knowing look.

  “I’m not afraid.”

  “No? Then why the hell aren’t you fighting for her?”

  “Because she doesn’t want me to.”

  He shakes his head. “Man, you have so much to learn.”

  “I’m a fucking mess without her, but I don’t know if I should give her space or let her go or chase after her. My mind veers from one scenario to another.”

  “If you’re not prepared to fight for her after hitting the first roadblock, then you’re not really in love. Can you cope with never seeing her again? Never getting to touch her like you want to?”

  “Ugh.” I angrily cut up my food while my mind churns. “Before he passed, my gramps told me that he never remarried after my grandma’s early death because he couldn’t even consider holding another woman in his arms, loving another woman the way he loved her. He told me every day was like waking up and losing her all over again and that the ache in his heart never went away. I’ve never forgotten that conversation or how profoundly it affected me.”

  I swallow the messy ball of grief in my throat. “I never knew my grandma because she died when I was a baby, but I always felt like I knew her because he told me everything about her.” I chew a mouthful of omelet slowly as I try to figure out my muddled thoughts. “He told me she touched his soul in a way no one else ever had, and I think … I think Dakota’s touched my soul in the same way.”

  Devin has been quietly eating and listening as I speak. Putting his silverware down, he leans across the table. “Then you’ve just answered your own question.”

  I smile for the first time in days. “Thanks, man.”

  “No problem.”

  “It’s times like this I really miss Gramps. He was the only male figure in my life growing up. The only one I could talk to about stuff, but he still wasn’t my dad, you know?”

  Devin nods in understanding. “I do, actually. What is the deal with your dad these days?”

  I push my plate away, appetite ruined. Any mention of that man turns my stomach. I give him the synopsis. “He bailed on my mom when I was four months old and reappeared when I was fifteen, saying he wanted to get to know me and how he had all these big regrets for not being there for me. I was a douche for believing him, for letting him into my life. He used me, and I didn’t even see it. Drove a bigger wedge between me and my mom at a time when she was already stressed over my shit, and we’re not even speaking anymore. Mom tried to tell me, but I refused to listen to the one person who has always been there for me, and I hate myself for that. All she’s ever done is try to protect me and care for me.”

  “She’s your mother. She’ll forgive you.”

  Tears prick the back of my eyes as I think of all the ways I’ve let Mom down. “I don’t deserve it. And she has her new family to care for now. She doesn’t need me.”

  “I’m sure that’s not true. From all I’ve read and heard about your mother, I’m sure she still loves you very much and is as upset over your situation as you clearly are.”

  I shrug. “I want to talk to her, but not until this stalker shit is dealt with.”

  Devin nods. “I understand.” He pauses for a second. “I listened to the taped conversation you had with Nick. While he seemed genuine, I didn’t like how he subtly tried to gain confirmation of your location.”

  “You think that was deliberate?”

  Devin nods. “There’s a substantial reward on offer to the person who discovers your whereabouts and Nick is broke.”

  “I offered him cash, and he turned me down!”

  “Because his pride wouldn’t let him take it directly from you.”

  “But he’d have less of a guilty conscience in turning me in? I’m not buying it. I don’t think Nick would do that or that he’s behind all this shit.”

  “I know you don’t want to think that of him, but sometimes it’s the people you least suspect who surprise you the most.”

  I rest my head back against the booth, totally fucking sick of this shit. “Why the hell haven’t we been able to find this guy?” I demand.

  “Because whoever is behind this is smart and not leaving a trail, but they’ll mess up. These people always do. And we’ll be ready to take them down.”

  “But in the meantime, I’m to remain suspicious of every single person I come into contact with.”

  He shoots me a sympathetic look. “You have to be on your guard at all times. Keep your circle small and tight, and outside of that, be wary of everyone.” He gestures at the waitress to bring the check. “I know it sucks, but it won’t be forever. We will catch this guy.”

  As I make my way back to my apartment, I mull over Devin’s words. Besides Devin, Mom, and Luke, I don’t have anyone else I consider completely trustworthy. I messed things up with the one girl I know I can trust with my life.

  I hope it isn’t too late to prove I’m worthy of her trust.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Dakota

  There’s a definite chill in the air these last few nights, and I shiver under my heavy sweater as I make my way through the dark, deserted alleyway toward the abandoned building. It’s been five nights since I slept in Levi’s arms and I miss him. Somehow, he wheedled his way into my heart, and I miss him way more than I ever missed Cole.

  I’m still sick every time I think of Friday night. I can’t believe Levi was so quick to judge me. Especially after everything we shared. And he hasn’t made any effort to approach me. In fact, he hasn’t shown up at class or the cafeteria, and I know he’s purposely ignoring me.

  I wish it didn’t hurt as much as it did.

  I obviously didn’t mean that much to him if he can let me go just like that. I push into the building and trudge up the stairs. It’s better I found out now before my heart was any more invested.

  “What the …” My words trail off as I step out onto the roof. It’s been transformed overnight. A multitude of candles rim the perimeter, casting magical shadows on the floor. Bunches of roses rest on elevated stands, scenting the air and lifting my spirits. A silver bucket with non-alcoholic champagne and two glasses rests on a small table, alongside a midnight feast of sorts.

  My heart is sprinting around my chest, bursting at the seams.

  Lilting music tickles my eardrums as Levi steps forward, strumming his guitar and singing.

  All this time, I’ve been lying to myself

  That mocking face in the mirror spoke the truth

  But I was too scared to see

  Too afraid to fight for what I know is right

  Until you broke through the haze

  Lost and alone

  With your beautiful, haunting moves

  Silently calling out to me

  I’ll get down on my knees

  To prove I’m worthy

  A girl like you deserves the world

  And I want to be the one to give it to you

  My beautiful midnight dancer

  Dancing through the starry night sky

  Like an angel without wings

  Your pain speaks to mine, and I need this connection

  To feel something I’ve never believed in

  But I’m no good for you

  Afraid I’ll take you down with me

  When all I want is to build you back up

  To see the light shine in your blue eyes once again

  I�
��ll get down on my knees

  To prove I’m worthy

  A girl like you deserves the world

  And I want to be the one to give it to you

  My beautiful midnight dancer

  I want to get lost in you

  To drown in you

  To wake up surrounded by your beauty and your goodness

  You make me smile, and I don’t ever wanna stop

  Don’t ever wanna stop

  Smiling or loving you

  I just wanna give you everything you’re missing

  And never forget how that feels

  I’ll get down on my knees

  To prove I’m worthy

  A girl like you deserves the world

  And I want to be the one to give it to you

  My beautiful midnight dancer

  So scared, but what do you say?

  To falling from the sky with me

  I can’t do this without you, and I need you by my side

  Drowning without your kisses

  Won’t survive the explosion if you lose faith

  But I trust in you

  And I believe in us

  And I know I’m ready for love

  I’ll get down on my knees

  To prove I’m worthy

  A girl like you deserves the world

  And I want to be the one to give it to you

  My beautiful midnight dancer

  I believe in us

  I believe in love

  Come share my dreams, my beautiful midnight dancer

  “Don’t cry,” he pleads when the song finishes, resting his guitar against the wall and cautiously stepping toward me.

  “I didn’t realize I was.” My voice is choked with all I’m feeling. “That was so beautiful. You wrote words to it?”

  Reaching out, he smooths my tears away. “I wrote that for you. You inspire me like no one else.” He gently cups my face. “You amaze me like no one else.” Leaning in, he presses his forehead to mine. “I was an ass, and I know I have no right to ask your forgiveness, but I’m begging you to give me another chance. I can’t breathe without you.”

  His warm breath blows across my face, and the heat from his body sweeps over me, elevating my craving for him.

  “I know you’re finished with Cole. That you have more self-respect. I shouldn’t have let him bait me like that. If you give me another chance, I promise I won’t let you down again.” He moves his head, peering deeply into my eyes. “I’m crazy about you, Dakota.” He takes my hand and places it over his chest, right in the place where his heart thumps wildly. “You feel that?” I nod. “My heart beats only for you, and I know you said you only wanted to be friends, but I can’t just be your friend.” He pulls me in closer. “Not when I want so much more.”

  His arms wrap around my waist, and I rest my head on his chest, the frantic beating of his heart mirroring my own. Music reverberates from two speakers, and he steps back, looking expectantly at me. “Dance with me?”

  I take his outstretched hand, nodding. He pulls me into his arms as Demi Levato’s “Tell Me You Love Me” starts up, echoing in the still night air. We sway to the slightly upbeat love song, passion seeping through the lyrics and the way we move perfectly in sync. Levi is a damn good dancer, and as the song progresses, our dancing turns sexier as we grind provocatively against one another, never peeling our eyes from each other. The song ends, and another starts, but I can’t tell you who or what, because I’m trapped in the hypnotic gaze of the man staring at me like I’m his everything. Levi is shielding nothing from me, and the hardness pressing against my belly tells me exactly what he wants. I’m every bit as turned on as he is. Lifting my leg, I wrap it around his hip, and he holds me there as I lean back, swaying from side to side, letting all my reservations go.

  His arm slides around my lower back, and he hauls me to him, thrusting his hard-on into me, making me moan. My arms slide around his neck as he maneuvers us to the side, pressing my back flat against the wall. “Tell me you want this,” he rasps, his eyes dark with lust.

  I slide my fingers through his silky hair. “I want this. I want you.”

  His lips crash down on mine as his hand moves up and down my leg, heating me even through my leggings. My core throbs with need as we rock against one another, grabbing, clawing, greedy, and desperate. His tongue prods the seam of my mouth, and I open for him, groaning as I taste him in my mouth. Our tongues dance a wild tango as our limbs do the same. Every nerve ending on my body is on fire, and I’m consumed in the touch, taste, and feel of Levi as his mouth and his hands worship me. I rub against him, needing the friction to counteract the building need in my core. “Need you,” I whimper. “Need you so bad.”

  I cry out when his mouth moves off mine, and he chuckles. Nibbling on my earlobe, he starts peppering kisses up and down my neck, sending me into a tailspin. Palming his erection, I rub my hand up and down his impressive length, and he groans into my ear.

  “Oh, God, Levi. I can’t …”

  “Tell me what you want, Kota baby, and I’ll give it to you.”

  “I want you to fuck me. All night long,” I pant. “I don’t ever want you to stop.”

  He curses while cupping my ass and pressing against me. “See what you do to me? I’m so hard for you, baby. Have been for weeks.”

  I don’t care that we’re on a roof after midnight and that temps are plummeting. I need him inside me right now. I tug at the button on his jeans, and he chuckles, wrapping his hand around my wrist and stalling me. “Not here.”

  “Why the hell not?” My voice is croaky and laden with need.

  “Because I want our first time to be special, and it’s not going to be on a roof where anyone could see.”

  Okay, I suppose he has a point. If he could see me dancing from his penthouse, then chances are, others have noticed me too. But my need is such that I don’t care. I’m ready to throw caution to the wind. “I don’t care. I need you. I need you now.”

  I shriek as he scoops me up into his arms. “Tempting as that is, I’m not defiling you in public.” He nips at my ear, and I squeak as he carries me down the stairs.

  “Would you think I’m crazy if I told you the idea of you defiling me in public is a huge turn-on?”

  He groans. “Fuck, baby. That’s hot. You’re so hot, and you’re driving me insane.”

  I wriggle in his arms. “Let me down. We’ll be quicker.”

  We hold hands while running, grinning at one another as we navigate the streets back to his apartment as fast as we can.

  We crash into the elevator, and his hot mouth is on mine again. Slamming me into the side, he feasts on my lips as my hands explore his ass, squeezing his firm flesh as desire ricochets through me. His hand slips under my sweater, and I shiver when his fingers creep up my stomach and over my bra. Roughly, he kneads my breast, rubbing his thumb across my hardened nipple through the flimsy lace of my bra. I whimper into his mouth, grinding against him as my wet pussy aches with need.

  The elevator pings, and he steers me out into the corridor, racing to his door. We stumble inside, our mouths fusing together again as we fumble at our clothes. Bits of clothing fly everywhere as we giggle and kiss our way to his bedroom. Lifting me up, he drops me down on his bed, crawling over me. “I have imagined this so many times, but nothing could prepare me for how gorgeous you are,” he says, raking his gaze over my body. I’m only wearing my panties and bra, and he’s only got his jeans on. His lips are swollen from my kisses, and his hair is all messy from my fingers. I’m betting I have the same lust-drenched look on my face. He stares down at me in awe, and I bathe in the warmth of his attention.

  Bravely, I sit up, unclasping my bra and sliding it slowly down my arms. His cock jerks behind the denim as I sit up on my knees and pop the rest of the buttons on his jeans. His t
humb grazes my stiff nipples as I tug his jeans down. Standing, he kicks them away and then drops his boxers, watching my expression the entire time.

  I lick my lips as I reach for his long, hard length, salivating at the thought of tasting him.

  “Nuh-uh.” He waves his finger at me. “Not so fast, little temptress.” Gently, he pushes me back and then lifts my left leg, holding it at an angle as he starts to kiss his way up my quivering flesh. When he reaches my thigh, he pushes my legs farther apart, pressing wet kisses to each thigh, moving closer and closer to where I need his mouth but never quite reaching his destination.

  “Levi!” My cry is urgent, desperate, needy, and he chuckles.

  “Patience, baby. I promise it’ll be worth the wait.” I arch my back as he kisses my pussy through my lace panties. “Fuck, you’re drenched for me, baby.”

  “Levi, please.” I’m not beyond begging if it’ll give me what I need.

  He chuckles again, running his hands up and down my legs as he gazes hungrily at my chest. With deliberate intent, he reaches for my panties and draws them down my legs at an excruciatingly slow pace. My breath erupts in embarrassing puffs, but I honestly couldn’t care less. He takes his time looking over my naked body, and I shiver from the intensity in his gaze.

  “Jesus, Dakota. You’re beautiful. So beautiful.”

  “Are you going to just look at me all night or actually do something?” I challenge.

  He crawls over me, biting my lower lip. “I love it when you turn all bossy on me,” he says, before devouring my mouth. I reach around, grabbing hold of his ass cheeks and pulling him down onto me. Laughter rumbles through him, while he peppers my face with kisses. “You’re so impatient, and here I am trying to make an effort to take things slow.”

  “If I wanted slow I’d have asked you to make love to me,” I protest. “But I asked you to fuck me for a reason. It’s been over a year since I had sex, and I’ve spent weeks imagining this with you. Do you know how difficult it’s been lying in your arms every night when I wanted so much more?”

  He arches a brow. “Believe me, it was as difficult for me as it was for you. I’ve been walking around with a raging boner from the instant you came into my life.”