Specious

by Berkstresser, Robin

  “You know why.” She purses her lips. “Just promise me you’ll keep me safe.”

  “Of course I won’t let anything bad happen to you,” I say. I hope she understands that I’m implying more than just the swimming lesson. It’s amazing how quickly she’s become an important part of my life. Her presence is what I’ve always needed.

  She lets out a deep breath and relaxes. The anxiety retreats deeper into her eyes. It’s still present, though not as close to the surface as it just was.

  “I have a problem,” she says. I nod in encouragement so she continues. “I don’t have a bathing suit.”

  I laugh at this apparent oversight. I took mine from my grandparents’ cabin before we left, but obviously packing a bathing suit was never a priority for Jess when she escaped from Vis.

  “Can you borrow one of Carly’s?”

  She gives me an incredulous look and I backtrack instantly.

  “Okay, so maybe that isn’t a good solution.”

  “First of all, I’m almost a foot taller than she is. There is no way it would fit. I would look ridiculous,” she says. A smile finds my face at the image. Her eyes narrow and my smile quickly disappears. “Secondly, I don’t want to see Carly right now. I don’t trust myself not to tell her the truth.”

  I let out a deep breath and try to release some of the tension from the situation of having to keep this major secret from her. “At least they finally agreed to let her know in the morning. I wonder how she’s going to react.”

  “Once the shock wears off, she’s going to be upset that we’ve all been lying to her this whole time,” Jess says. “Is it weird if I look to see if their mother’s bathing suit is still here?”

  If it felt like I was crossing a line going into their room, this is going to feel even worse. “It’s a little weird.”

  I examine Jess’s body in calculation.

  “I don’t see the harm in looking. She was shorter than you and slightly heavier, but definitely a closer fit than anything you would find in Carly’s room,” I say.

  The two of us go to the dresser and search for a bathing suit. After about a minute of searching, I touch material that feels right. I wrap my fingers around it and pull out two pieces. I hand them over. “This is it,” I say.

  Jess takes the suit and examines it for a moment. “No matter what, don’t laugh at me when I get it on.”

  “I can make no such promise,” I say.

  “Of course you can’t,” she says with slight amusement in her voice. “Turn around and face the wall. I’m just going to change here. I don’t want to have to walk all the way to the bathroom.”

  “It’s about twenty feet away,” I protest.

  “Just turn around,” Jess repeats.

  I follow her command and turn away from her. Her clothes hit the ground and I’m thankful she can’t see my face because I’m blushing again.

  “Why didn’t you ever learn how to swim?” I attempt to distract myself from the sound of fabric gliding across her skin.

  “I was never really exposed to swimming. It just wasn’t something that was taught at school. My father was too busy drinking to teach me when I was younger, and my mother was too focused on keeping him happy. It just never happened,” Jess says. I can almost see her shrug at the end.

  “That’s a shame.”

  “It’s just what it is. Can you help me tie the top of this bathing suit? I can’t reach it,” Jess asks.

  “Sure,” I say. I shift my body and have her back in my sights. Her right hand holds up the top of the suit. I blink as I take in her level of exposure. Her body is lined with lean muscles. She must have excelled in all of her physical fitness courses.

  I walk closer and she turns her body away from me. Her hair hides the strings so I carefully move her hair to the side. I tie the string into a knot and take a step back.

  “Thanks, Elliot,” Jess says.

  I examine the suit. The bottom part is baggy and runs the risk of slipping down once we hit the water. The top is a similar story. It covers her stomach and chest but simply doesn’t fit. I can’t help myself. I lie.

  “It looks good on you.” I break out in a smile.

  A grin plays at Jess’s face before winning out and shining through. Her entire face lights up when she smiles.

  “You’re an ass, Elliot,” she says. “Let’s get in the water before Chris and Andrew see this. I’m counting on being deep enough where it isn’t as obvious.” She places her clothes on top of the drawer.

  “We better hurry then. We don’t want them to see you in all of your glory,” I tease back.

  I motion for her to lead the way out. She purses her lips and exits the room. When she gets in front of me, it takes all of my energy to keep from laughing again. The bathing suit was made for someone with a completely different body. Despite that, she really does look good.

  “I can feel you looking at me. I know I look ridiculous.” Jess laughs slightly. I cough in embarrassment.

  When we pass the stairs to the basement, there are knocks against Carly’s door.

  Chris calls out, “We’re gonna be down by the water. Join us when you’re done poutin’ and we can go fishin’ later.”

  “I’m sure she’ll complain all about this later when I’m trying to go to sleep,” Jess says without breaking her stride.

  “Does she annoy you? The offer still stands. You can take my room,” I remind her. We reach the door and break free of the house. The sun instantly warms my skin.

  Jess looks back at me with a serious expression. “She doesn’t annoy me. She’s just a typical younger sibling,” she says. Her attention returns to the water.

  The two of us walk in silence for the remaining distance. I wonder what it’s like to have a younger sibling and to be responsible for protecting them. Admittedly, Dominic never cared much for me, but we never had the relationship that siblings should. Carly is probably the closest I had to a little sister growing up.

  “Does Carly remind you of your brother?”

  “No,” she says. She looks deep in thought. “Personality wise, they’re completely different. My brother was a lot more reserved and tentative. He never had the chance to discover his confidence.” Jess sighs and smiles ruefully. “She does remind me of what it’s like to have that relationship, though.”

  “What’s it like to have a younger sibling?” I’m fascinated to hear what she has to say, to understand how Dominic should have treated me in another life.

  She considers her response. “Overall, it’s absolutely amazing. There’s this little person that’s so connected to you and you’re able to help them and ensure they have the best life possible. You do everything you can to make sure they don’t make the same mistakes you did.” She pauses. “Of course, they can get a little tiring at times.” She smiles to herself.

  “Interesting,” I say. I don’t have any other words. I try to imagine a world where Dominic cared that much about me. It’s unfathomable.

  A new glint of amusement shines through her eyes. “You know she has a crush on you, right?”

  I stagger and stop walking. She laughs at my reaction.

  “That’s ridiculous. She’s so young.”

  She grabs ahold of my arm and pulls me along. “She hasn’t directly said it, but it’s obvious in the way she talks about you. Why are you so surprised?” Before I can respond, she continues, “You’re the most consistent male in her life that she isn’t related to.”

  “But I’m Unplanned,” I remind her.

  The idea of someone, even as young and naïve as Carly, harboring any of those types of feelings—or at least thinking she does—seems ridiculous.

  Now that I’m moving by myself, Jess stops pulling. Yet she keeps her arm tucked in mine, our skin touching.

  “So is she, Elliot. Besides, you’re from Potentia. She’s really romanticized the idea of the territories.”

  While she’s fantasized about living where I grew up, I have done the same with Ac
cidia. Who was right?

  “Do I need to say anything to her?” I ask. I’m not sure how to handle this.

  Once again Jess laughs at my panic. “Don’t act any differently. This is something she will grow out of.” She tilts her head and winks. “Or not.”

  I jokingly nudge her with my shoulder. We laugh together for the rest of the short walk to the beach, Jess humming contently.

  We stop right in front of the water and she takes a deep breath. “I’m going to get in now.”

  “I’m right here with you,” I say in a voice I intend to be soothing.

  Our feet break the surface. Jess determinedly walks forward, deeper and deeper into the lake. I’m a little surprised when the water hits her waist. I’m shocked when she lets it rise to her chest.

  “This is deep enough,” I say. I want her feet to still be able to touch the ground if she needs to.

  “The boys will join us any second and I don’t think I can suffer the humiliation of having them see me in this wretched suit,” she says.

  She might be slightly terrified of water, but she’s more afraid of losing her pride.

  “Good call,” I say. “The jokes would never end.”

  Jess splashes water toward me while a smile overtakes her face. I love it when her mask disappears and she truly smiles. I lower completely and the water feels amazing on the top of my head. I stay under for a few seconds and make my way closer to where Jess is standing. I pop out and spit water at her.

  Her laughter fills the air and mine easily joins in. It’s my favorite kind of duet.

  “What’s so funny?” Andrew’s voice interrupts the moment.

  “Did our boy Elliot have a wardrobe mess up?”

  “You shouldn’t laugh at him. I imagine it’d be quite embarrassin’,” Andrew says.

  “Well, you would know,” I counter back. Admittedly, it isn’t my best comeback.

  Andrew and Chris sprint into the water and reach us very quickly. Reluctantly, I look away from Jess. Both of them eye my chest and the angry red scar that stares back at them. I always hid it from them growing up, even going as far as to make sure I always swam with a shirt on.

  “What happened there?” Chris asks.

  “Just an old injury,” I say, trying to make it seem like it’s nothing important. They look expectantly at me hoping for more of a story. I gaze right back at them. It’s not something that’s worth talking about.

  “The water feels amazin’ today,” Andrew says to change the subject. He dives under. When he breaks the surface, water droplets fall freely from his long nose.

  Chris looks excitedly to Jess. “Time to teach you how to swim,” he says.

  “You two can show me by example,” Jess says. Both of them look confused. “Let me watch the two of you swim off. I learn by watching.”

  I chuckle at their expressions when they realize what she’s really asking.

  “Well, if that’s the way it is,” Chris says.

  “We don’t wanna interrupt anythin’. We’ll go ‘swim off’ then,” Andrew says in good humor. They splash us when they swim away. I watch their figures get smaller and smaller before returning my attention to Jess.

  “Now, where do we start?” she asks and stares intently at me.

  “First off, I’m going to get you on your back,” I say.

  Andrew screams out, “I bet he’s been wantin’ to say that for awhile.”

  Chris and Andrew laugh loudly.

  Jess raises one eyebrow and smirks at their joke. My cheeks flush.

  “I mean,” I stammer, “I want you to learn how to float and be comfortable in the water.”

  Her eyes narrow and the uneasiness returns. “Why do I have to start with that?”

  I shrug. I’m not really sure. “It’s how my grandfather taught me when I was younger. Just trust me.”

  “You’ll hold me?” Anxiety creeps through her voice.

  “Of course.” I step closer to her.

  Even though she clearly doesn’t want to, she lets me take her legs out from under her to get her to float.

  “Relax,” I say.

  Her body is so tense. I keep my hands under her bare back and apply slight pressure to keep her above water.

  I don’t say anything. I watch her body as she visibly unwinds, her sharp features relaxing. The tension appears to escape her body through the water. Her suit top is loose and floats in the water, revealing her stomach. She has a small freckle next to her belly button.

  “If I ignore the panicky feeling in my chest,” Jess says, snapping my attention back to her face, “the water actually feels pretty nice.”

  She closes her eyes. The sun on her face highlights her scattered freckles.

  “It does.”

  I let her enjoy the water for a little bit longer and then say, “I’m going to slowly take my hands away. Just concentrate on staying above the water. I’ll be right here.”

  She doesn’t argue so I follow through on my words. Her body tenses up and she slightly sinks. I’m just about to replace my hands when she forces herself to relax and steadies herself.

  “Good job,” I say. “You’re doing it by yourself.”

  A smile touches her lips. I can’t help but return her happiness and smile down at her.

  A scream pierces through the silence. Both of our smiles disappear instantly. I turn in reaction to the noise and she splashes right next to me. My attention returns to Jess in time for her to flail under the water. I bring her back to her feet.

  “Where’d that come from?” Andrew’s raised voice is absolutely panicked. Another scream reaches us.

  Without another word, the four of us run to shore. My thighs burn with the effort of pushing through the water.

  Ahead of all of us, Jess sprints fastest toward the sound of the last scream. I pound the ground and push through my endurance to keep up. We run past the house and into the congestion of forest. The trees block the sun and my eyes adjust to sudden darkness. A sharp rock pokes into my foot, but I ignore it. I need to find the person the screams are attached to.

  I almost run into Jess when she stops suddenly.

  “Oh, shit,” she mutters.

  My heart drops when the smell hits my nose. The overwhelming odor of death and the fresher, metallic scent of a recent injury fill the air. I fear what I’m about to see. I don’t want to look at the scene in front of me.

  One of the creatures is relentlessly digging its hand in someone’s stomach. Its discolored hands return to its greedy mouth and grab intestines out of the small body. The fresh blood drips down its chin and arms to stain its torn, discolored territory outfit. My stomach turns. I follow the mangled torso to the head. Familiar dark hair is attached to the small, broken body.

  Andrew and Chris run past us with expressions of pure horror on their faces.

  “Don’t get any closer. There isn’t anything you can do,” Jess says. Her voice cracks in pain. Jess grabs each of their arms and holds them back from interrupting its frenzied meal.

  “Is that…” Chris trails off. He turns his head to me in shock. The same color hair flips across his face.

  “NO!” Andrew’s wail of torment infiltrates my daze and shock.

  Unfortunately, it also distracts the infected from its meal and it notices us. It lifts its head in blank perception, showing its missing bottom lip. The remaining skin-flaps move sickeningly in the effort. Carly’s blood escapes its mouth and falls back into her violated body.

  I quickly scan the ground and find a thick branch. I pick it up and walk toward the creature before it can move toward us. It has to be stopped.

  While the bone structure of the creature would have once given promise to a healthy, strong male, this new disease has stolen almost all of its strength and reflexes. I knock it off of Carly’s dead body and pummel its head with my branch. For all I know, it could have been a fellow classmate from Potentia. There is nothing distinguishable in its face now, and with every hit, any hope of recogniti
on is obliterated further. I slam the branch into its head so many times I lose track. Blood sprays up and hits my face. The image of my best friends’ little sister being eaten haunts me.

  I’ve known her since she was a strange little baby that Andrew and Chris proudly showed off. She was completely innocent. She didn’t deserve this. No one does.

  My arms tire. I ignore the pain and keep swinging down into its now concave skull, its wispy hair coated in brown gore. Blood covers the ground and forms a slimy glaze on my body.

  “Enough,” Jess says. Her voice gently distracts me from my frenzied attack. “It’s over.”

  I summon all my strength and slam down one more time. The branch breaks. My body falls with my weapon to my hands and knees. The tears flowing down my face surprise me. Where did they come from?

  “What happened?” Andrew says between his sobs.

  “One of those things we told you about got to her,” Jess says. I can barely hear her. The pain is too deafening. “She left the house.”

  “How’s she dead?”

  No one answers Chris. I blankly stare at her lifeless body. Another tear drops down, but I refuse to acknowledge it. I’m afraid if I wipe it away and admit that I’m crying, I’ll lose control completely. There’s too much death now. It isn’t supposed to be like this.

  “This is our fault,” Andrew says, voice full of pain and emotion. “We’re her brothers. We should’ve told her.”

  “No,” Jess says. “You were trying to protect her. She had two amazing brothers who were simply trying to preserve her innocent outlook on life for as long as possible. This isn’t your fault.”

  Her statement breaks my attention away from the corpse of my first kill, done too late, and brings it to her. I’m surprised to see tears falling down her face as well while she holds on to the shocked brothers.

  She looks at me and realizes my attention is on her. Without another word, she stands up and walks over to me. Chris and Andrew stare forward at the scene in disbelief once she leaves them. She grabs my hand and the two of us support each other, desperately trying to ignore the two mutilated bodies next to us.

  Chapter Thirteen