Searching for Glory

by Hunter J. Keane

  “It’s been hard, obviously,” I said, using some of my best acting skills. “Richard and I shared a lot and I’ll always be grateful for our time together. It just wasn’t meant to be.”

  “Did the end of your engagement have anything to do with the man you have been photographed with in your hometown? Rumor has it that the two of you have quite a history, and possibly a future.” Ben’s tone was turning smug.

  “No.”

  “I’m sorry, no what?”

  “No, my calling off the engagement had nothing to do with another man. Now if you don’t mind, I’d really like to discuss our movie.” I fought to stay calm but I was silently cursing Ben Torres.

  “I’m not sure we’re done discussing this, Gloria. The viewers deserve some answers.” Ben’s eyes narrowed.

  “Actually, I think we are done with this line of questioning. I’m sure the viewers can understand my desire to keep my personal relationships private as much as possible. I’m also sure they would love to hear more about this amazing movie that Richard and I worked so hard on.” I dug deep for my best celebrity smile. Ben took the hint and went back to discussing the film. The rest of the interview was strained and the show’s producer hurried it to a close.

  “Well that’s all we have for this addition of Ben There, Asked That. Thank you all for watching, and thanks to our guests, Gloria Star and Richard Masterson. The premiere will take place this Thursday here in New York and Someday Soon will open in theaters across the country on Friday. Trust me, you don’t want to miss it.”

  * * *

  My week was filled with dozens of nightmare interviews like the one with Ben Torres. All of the interviewers wanted to talk about my love life rather than the movie. Richard was handling it all the best way he knew how, by drinking. A lot. He would show up right before the press appearances smelling like scotch and disappear immediately afterwards. Not that I would have preferred for him to stick around. I was actually glad that he was avoiding me so far; it prevented me from having to do it.

  After one particularly gruesome interview, I was ushered outside where a throng of fans waited with cameras and screams. I smiled politely, signed a few autographs and posed for pictures. Franny appeared out of nowhere and hurried me into an awaiting car. Her tight blond curls bounced around her head as she slid in beside me.

  “You aren’t riding with Richard?” I asked my agent.

  Franny stared me down with her beady green eyes.

  “I can’t take another minute alone with that man. He’s simply intolerable these days.” Franny dug around in her purse and retrieved a tube of lipstick. I watched as she applied a thick layer of the pink paste to her lips. “Besides, you and I need to talk.”

  “Okay. What would you like to talk about?”

  “About you. And your piss poor performance in these interviews.” Franny waved the lipstick in my face. “You need to get your act together or this movie is going to bomb.”

  “Franny, what are you saying? This movie isn’t going to bomb.” I laughed at the prospect of Someday Soon turning in anything less than blockbuster ticket sales. If there was one thing Richard was good at, it was drawing an audience.

  “Six months ago, I would have agreed with you. But that’s because six months ago you were a huge star. Your face was everywhere. Little girls were dressing like you and frat guys were hanging your poster on their walls.” Franny shook her head, sending her curls flying once more. “Then you picked up and moved out of Hollywood. You didn’t just leave, you disappeared. You ended things with Richard and didn’t even release a public statement. Basically America forgot about you.”

  “I think you are exaggerating,” I said but I felt a tiny prickling of fear. Could Franny be right? “And even if they did forget about me, I’m back now. I’m sure people are curious about where I’ve been. So that’s got to be good for some public interest, right?”

  “It would be, if you would actually say something interesting.” Franny pulled out her Blackberry and started tapping the keys furiously. “Pleading the fifth all the time isn’t going to keep people interested.”

  I frowned, realizing that Franny was probably at least partly right. “So what should I do?”

  “Be interesting. Be charming. Be the beautiful, magnetic Gloria Star and not the plain, boring Glory Stark.” Franny finished typing and then put the phone to her ear and listened while it rang. “Oh, and for God’s sake, make up with Richard.”

  I started to protest but Franny was already jabbering away. Making up with Richard wouldn’t be easy; he wouldn’t even talk to me unless there was a camera rolling. Not to mention that I wasn’t sure I even wanted to make up with him. My life was a lot less stressful without him in it.

  * * *

  “So. Richard.” I fidgeted with the hem of my dress, tugging at the satin fabric. “You look… nice. Tonight. Are you doing something different with your hair?”

  Richard and I were in the backseat of a limo on our way to the movie premiere. Richard had spent the past ten minutes ignoring me and texting on his phone. I had reluctantly agreed to let Franny arrange for us to arrive at the premiere together; now I was regretting ever signing Franny to be my agent.

  “Gloria, please just cut the shit.” Richard looked up from his phone in annoyance. “We are not friends. I’m only in this limo to keep Franny off my back.”

  “Point taken.” I endured a couple more minutes of awkward silence. I sighed and squirmed in my seat. “It doesn’t have to be like this, Richard. We don’t have to be friends, but we could at least be civil.”

  Richard matched my sigh with one of his own. “Is that really what you want?”

  “Sure. Why wouldn’t I want that? It’s stupid for us to go on not even talking to one another. You were a huge part of my life for a while. Why pretend that didn’t happen?” I wasn’t just trying to convince Richard; I was trying to convince myself.

  “Gloria, I’m more than willing to smile nicely and fake a friendship out there,” Richard said gesturing out the window. “But in here, let’s just keep things professional.”

  “Fair enough. But professionally, we can still at least make polite conversation right?” I offered a hesitant smile and was relieved when Richard smiled back.

  “You don’t give up do you? Alright, polite conversation. Any topic in mind?”

  “Well, we could talk about how insane Franny has been acting lately. For starters.”

  Richard laughed, a rich and honest laugh. “Common ground. I like it.”

  For the next ten minutes as we waited in midtown traffic, Richard and I had a polite conversation. It wasn’t like the way it used to be, but I was good with that. Frankly, our conversations had never been deep and meaningful so polite and professional was just fine with me. I almost felt disappointed when we finally pulled up in front of the theater.

  “Hey, Glor,” Richard said as the limo rolled to a stop. “I just wanted to say that I really am sorry about the way things ended between us. I mean, I get it. I wasn’t a very good boyfriend. But you really did make me happy and I wish I could have done the same for you.”

  “Richard, it wasn’t all your fault. Yes, you cheated on me. But I kept a lot of important stuff from you. We weren’t very good to each other. But I don’t regret our relationship. The ending was… a little rocky.” I laughed softly. “But the beginning was pretty great.”

  “Yeah, it didn’t suck.” Richard and I exchanged meaningful smiles just as the chauffer opened the limo door. Richard climbed out gracefully and waved to the crowd gathered behind the ropes. He ducked back inside and offered a hand to me. “You ready for this?”

  “Bring it on.” I placed my hand in his and stepped out to a sea of blinding flashbulbs and screams. This was the life I had lived for almost eight years, but after being away from it for a few months I wasn’t sure how to react. I froze, blinking furiously against the flashes.

  “Smile,” Richard reminded me, tugging me forward. I pulled my li
ps upward into a tight smile and directed my gaze toward the ground. I let Richard lead me forward down the red carpet and stopped only when he did.

  “Richard, Gloria. It’s so nice to see you two together again.” My vision was beginning to clear a little bit and I realized we had stopped in front of a row of reports with microphones. I recognized the young woman talking to us as a reporter from Entertainment Magazine. “Can I ask, why did the two of your choose to keep it a secret?”

  I froze in mid-smile. “Secret?” I asked, my voice coming out flat. I felt Richard’s hand tighten around mine.

  “Playing coy, are we?” The reporter winked one blue sparkle eyelid at me. “Your agent released a joint statement earlier about the two of you getting back together. I’m just curious why you kept it a secret while you’ve been doing press for the movie.”

  I felt a rush of air squeeze out of my lungs and my face flushed. I could hear myself stammering nonsense words. Fortunately, Richard recovered almost immediately. “I’m afraid that Franny Zo acted without our knowledge or permission. I’m sure you can understand we are both a bit shocked right now.”

  “Oh, I do understand.” Another wink of blue eye shadow. “You celebrities are always trying to keep your private lives away from us reporters. I just wanted to say congratulations. You look great together.”

  I opened my mouth to protest but Richard was already pulling me away, likely saving me from saying something inappropriate. Other reporters were calling out questions now. Questions about our rekindled romance and whether the engagement was still on.

  Richard responded that we were running late and walked swiftly down the carpet. I almost had to jog to keep up. Once we were safely inside and away from the cameras and microphones, I let out a stream of obscenities. “I. Am. Going. To. Kill. Franny.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “So then Julia asks me if I think she should pack a third suitcase. The girl is going to be here for four days. How could she possibly need three suitcases?” I sighed into the phone and flicked on my turn signal while whipping the car into the left lane. “Julia’s so excited to come visit, and it’s not that I’m not thrilled to have her here. I am. I miss her like crazy. It’s just… well, I really wish you could have made it. But you already know that. I told you that in my last three messages. Anyway, I’m still sorry about what happened with the whole Richard thing. Please call me, Johnny. I miss the sound of your voice. Okay. Bye. Oh! I love you. Bye.”

  I ended the call and tossed my phone onto the passenger’s seat. That was probably the sixtieth message I had left for Johnny in the past two weeks, and he had yet to return a single one of them. I hadn’t heard from him since the night of the premiere, even though I had called immediately to explain what had happened.

  The first few messages had been nothing but excuses and apologies. After that proved futile, I resorted to pretending nothing was wrong. I would leave long messages about my day and tell him how much I missed him, shamelessly trying to guilt him into calling me back. It hadn’t worked yet, but I wasn’t giving up.

  A long blare of the horn from the car behind me brought me back to my current situation. I was on my way to the airport to pick up Julia. A month earlier, the plan was for Johnny to come out to L.A. for a visit. But he had been too busy with the shop and helping Jake with the farm. And then there was that whole thing where he stopped answering my calls.

  So I had invited Vic instead. My sister had been feeling much better, and I really wanted to take Vic to the Emmys with me. I had been looking forward to it ever since the decision was made, but then last week Vic had suffered a setback. She had developed pneumonia, and wouldn’t be able to visit anytime soon.

  Julia had convinced her mom to let her come instead. I was excited to see my niece, but I was heartbroken about Vic and Johnny. So now I was trying to keep my spirits up so Julia wouldn’t feel unwelcome. I had created a packed schedule that would keep us busy over the next four days. Usually the days around the Emmys were filled with press and other celebrity obligations but I had cancelled all of those events to spend time with Julia.

  There was another round of horn honking as I sliced the car across three lanes of traffic. I had been so busy thinking about our itinerary that I almost missed the exit for the airport. I found the passenger pickup lane and cruised slowly, searching the crowd for a fourteen year old girl. When I finally spotted my niece, looking scared and overwhelmed among a family of tourists, I hurriedly parked the car at the curb and jumped out.

  Julia let out a squeal of delight as I threw my arms around her. People nearby stopped to stare and a few of them seemed to recognize me and hurried to take pictures with their phones. I let go of Julia and started loading her bags into the trunk.

  “How was the flight? You didn’t talk to any strangers, did you? ‘Cause we talked about that. Strangers may seem nice and normal but the next thing you know they have your head in their freezer.”

  Julia laughed and rolled her eyes. “I’m not six years old, Aunt Gloria. You don’t need to tell me about the perils of Stranger Danger. And what kind of strangers have you met that keep peoples’ heads in their freezers?”

  “You never know they keep peoples’ heads in their freezers until you’re one of those heads. That’s how they get away with it.” I was aware I probably sounded like a psycho myself. “Now get in the car. We have a lot to see and do these next few days.”

  * * *

  “I can’t believe this is your house,” Julia said, holding her arms wide and twirling in a dizzying circle. We were standing in the living room, a large space with glass walls. Standing in the middle of the room, we were surrounded on three sides by views of the ocean. I had originally bought the house because of how isolated it made me feel; it was just me and the vast ocean.

  “Can we go down to the beach? I’m dying to swim in the ocean. Oh, and I want to see where all the celebrities live. Then again, you’re a celebrity so I guess seeing your house counts. Do you hang out with other celebrities a lot? How much did this house cost? It had to be like a bazillion dollars. My friend Trystan says you got paid five million dollars for Someday Soon. Is that true? That’s a lot of-”

  I cut off Julia’s tangent. “Calm down, kiddo. We have four days together. At this rate we’ll run out of things to say to one another by dinnertime.”

  “Oh, dinner. Where are we going for dinner? Someplace fancy, right? They have a lot of fancy restaurants in L.A. At least that’s what Trystan says. She says we’ll probably get stalked by the paparazzi, too.”

  “Who’s this Trystan girl? She doesn’t sound like a very good influence.”

  “Trystan’s cool,” Julia said and waved her hand dismissively. “She’s older. A junior. And she’s on the varsity cheerleading squad. She almost freaked when she found out Gloria Star is my aunt.”

  I thought I knew exactly who this Trystan girl was and I didn’t like her, or girls like her. “Julia, just be careful with girls like that, okay? They don’t always have your best interest in mind.”

  Julia’s eyes glazed over in typical teenage fashion. “Yeah, whatever. So what’s the plan for today?”

  “Well I thought we could start with some sightseeing. Then I’ll let you pick anyplace you want for dinner. Someplace really fancy.” I smiled as Julia’s face lit up again. I decided to take it even further. “Before dinner, I thought maybe we could do some shopping. If you’re up for it.”

  It turned out Julia was up for some shopping. Much later that night, I was sitting on my bed watching Julia try on her new clothes. I looked at the pile of new items stacked on the bed and wondered if I should have also bought her a new suitcase to take them home in.

  “That dinner was amazing. And I can’t believe how many celebrities were there. They all knew you, too! That’s so cool.” Julia held the hem of her skirt out from her body and spun a quick circle. “Trystan is going to die when I show her that picture of me and Nick Chase. He’s so hot.”

  “T
hat’s great,” I said, but I wasn’t listening. My mind was on the conversation I’d had with Vic an hour earlier. Vic had some bad news; the chemo hadn’t worked. She made me promise not to say anything to Julia, but it was pretty obvious from my current mood that something was wrong.

  “Aunt Gloria,” Julia said, flopping next to me on the bed, “my mom isn’t going to get better, is she?”

  “What? Julia why would you even say that? Your mom is going to be just fine.” I cringed when I heard how poorly I was covering up the truth.

  “You don’t have to lie to me. I’m almost fifteen, and I can handle the truth. She’s getting sicker, and she’s going to die. Isn’t she?”

  I looked into my niece’s wide, innocent eyes and I wanted very badly to keep lying. She was just a little girl, and soon she was going to lose her mother. She deserved a few more months of ignorant bliss. But I knew she deserved to know the truth even more. “Yeah, I think so.”

  Julia’s eyes filled up with tears but she didn’t let them fall. “Okay. So what do we do?”

  “I really don’t know.” I wished I could be one of those people who thrives in a crisis and knows exactly the right thing to say. But I wasn’t that person. “I think maybe we just be there for her. Whatever she needs, we give it to her. We hug her, and tell her that we love her. And we spend every second we can with her.”

  Julia nodded slowly. “Does that mean you’re coming home soon?”

  I thought about that. Was Princeton my home now? What about the house I was currently sitting in? Wasn’t that my home? I wasn’t sure anymore. “Maybe.”

  “Maybe? Is this because Uncle John won’t return your calls?”

  “How do you know about that?” I tried, and failed, to sound unconcerned.

  “I overheard Mom and Dad talking. Dad said that Uncle John was pretty mad about the whole Richard reunion. Mom said that was all just a mistake because you would never get back together with Richard, and that you were in love with Uncle John.” Julia twirled the end of her hair in her fingers. “Is that true?”