Searching for Glory

by Hunter J. Keane

  “Which part?”

  “The part about you being in love with Uncle John. Because I totally think the two of you should end up together.” Julia hugged her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees.

  “Of course I’m in love with him. But I’m not sure the two of us can end up together if he refuses to take my calls.”

  “He will eventually. He’s just… recovering. From the shock of the whole Richard thing. I mean, think about it from his perspective. You’re this totally hot girl he’s been in love with for, like, fifteen years. Then, when he finally gets you back after losing you for ten years, you take off to L.A. and meet up with your ex-fiancé. On top of all that, word spreads that the two of you are back together. Couple that with pictures of the two of you looking all beautiful and coupley… Shocking.”

  “Yeah, I see what you mean.” I was beginning to think Julia was wise beyond her fourteen years. “So what do I do?”

  “You need to make a grand gesture. Something so that he knows how you feel. Sometimes you can’t just tell someone that you love them, you have to show it, too.”

  I knew that Julia was right. I hadn’t done a very good job of showing Johnny how I felt. Instead, I had whirled into town, tossed his world upside down and then left abruptly. Again. I needed a grand gesture, and I needed one now.

  After Julia had gone to bed, I opened my closet and took down the box of letters. I had taken them all the way to Princeton and read them a dozen times in the past few months. After reading them, I had always placed them back in that box. But now, I think I finally had the courage to send them.

  * * *

  “Who are you wearing?”

  I was back on the red carpet, this time on my way to the Emmys. I was nominated for best actress in a drama for my work on Silver Lining. I was wearing a long strapless dress in sapphire blue. The dress would have cost thousands but instead I paid nothing in exchange for mentioning the designer’s name.

  “My dress is Lily Gavarnier.” I struck an obligatory pose, hand on hip.

  “Who’s your date tonight, Gloria?” Another reporter yelled out.

  I gestured for Julia to come closer. “My niece, Julia.”

  There was a chorus of awes from the crowd and Julia blushed furiously. She had been oddly quiet all day and I suspected it was because she was nervous. I continued down the carpet with Julia in tow and waved to some familiar faces but I didn’t break my pace. If you weren’t careful, you could spend hours on the red carpet. My goal was to spend as little time as possible answering questions.

  “Aunt Gloria, thanks again for buying me this incredible dress,” Julia said as we stepped inside. I was grateful for the cool rush of air against my clammy skin. It was an abnormally hot day in L.A. and I had felt myself beginning to sweat. “This whole day has been incredible. I feel like a princess or something.”

  “Welcome to the life of a celebrity. Or at least this is the fun part. Not all of it is like this though.” Julia reminded me of myself when I had first moved to L.A. It had all seemed so exciting and glamorous then and seeing the look of wonder on Julia’s face gave me a sense of nostalgia.

  “Do you think you might win tonight?” Julia asked, still taking everything in. We had made it to the seating area and I could see the stage looming just ahead.

  “I don’t know, Julia. I’m trying not to think about it actually.” My mouth suddenly felt dry. “Let’s just find our seats, okay?”

  Since my show had also been nominated, the entire cast had prime seats front and center. Julia was so excited she looked like she might pass out and I urged her to take a couple of deep breaths. Introductions were made and I noticed Richard approaching from a distance. Somehow I had managed to forget that he would be sitting with us since he had been nominated for his role as a guest star on Silver Lining.

  “Gloria, nice to see you again,” Richard said, looking very James Bond in his perfectly tailored suit. “Julia, you look beautiful.”

  Julia swooned slightly and I grabbed her elbow to keep her on her feet. “Good to see you, Richard. Who’s your date?”

  The willowy blonde at Richard’s side smirked in my direction and waggled the fingers of her right hand as Richard introduced her. “This is Gwen. My girlfriend.”

  “Girlfriend? That’s fantastic!” I said with a little too much excitement. I hoped this would help dispel the rumors about me and Richard getting back together. The lights dimmed just then, cutting off any more polite conversation. “I think we should probably take our seats.”

  The show began, and it was quite a spectacle. I spotted at least three nominees that appeared to be drunk. I also saw several stars snub other stars when the cameras weren’t directed at them. It was usual Hollywood stuff but I still found it entertaining.

  Richard didn’t win in his category but he clapped politely for the winner and then snuck off to use the bathroom. When they announced my category, I sucked in a deep breath.

  It wasn’t until that very moment that I realized how badly I wanted to win. I had always thought awards shows were kind of silly and I had been too much of a novice when I received my Oscar nomination to fully appreciate what it really meant. But now I knew that winning the award would mean that for once in my life I was the best at something, at least according to the few people that voted.

  “Good luck,” Julia whispered as she grabbed my arm. I clapped politely as each of the nominees were announced, and I offered what I hoped was a humble smile when they announced my name. Then time seemed to stop as the presenter struggled to open the envelope containing the winner’s name. I was so busy trying to put on my gracious loser face that I didn’t hear my name being called out.

  “Aunt Gloria, you won!” Julia threw her arms around me as I sat there in stunned disbelief. “Get up there!”

  It took me another five seconds to figure out what was happening. I quickly composed myself and headed toward the stage unsteadily. I should have known better than to wear such high heels on a night when I might be climbing stairs. Somehow I made it to the podium and accepted the award.

  I turned to face the audience and wished I had been confident enough to write an acceptance speech ahead of time. Julia had tried to convince me to write one last night but I hadn’t wanted to jinx it. Now I had no idea what to say.

  “I can’t believe I won,” I blurted out and the audience laughed good-naturedly. Then, suddenly, it was like they all disappeared and I was talking to an old friend. “On nights like this, there are so many people you want to thank and it’s impossible to name them all. So I want to start by thanking everyone I have ever worked with. The casts and crews, stylists and makeup artists, directors and producers, who spend their days making me look good. I know that can sometimes be an impossible task but you never complain. So thank you. Secondly, thanks to my fans who love and support me no matter what.

  “Most importantly, I need to thank my family. I would be nothing without them. Julia, my beautiful niece and my date tonight. Chris, Marta, and J.J, you kids mean the world to me and I love being your aunt. Jake, you aren’t technically my brother but I love you like one anyway and you are an amazing father and husband. My sister, Vic. The strongest, most amazing woman to ever walk the Earth. Vic, you weren’t just my sister growing up, you were a mother to me and my best friend. I have no idea what I will do when you’re gone.” I stopped and wiped away a stray tear. I could feel a surge of emotion rising and knew I knew should get off stage as soon as possible but I had one more thing I needed to do. I needed to make a grand gesture.

  “And to my best friend- my everything- Johnny. There is no way I could ever thank you enough, but I’m going to try anyway. You’ve loved, supported, and encouraged me for my entire life. You gave up your own hopes and dreams so that I could accomplish mine. Now it’s my turn to return the favor. I’m coming home.”

  I stopped then, not sure what else to say, but I didn’t have to worry because the music started up and everyone was clapp
ing again. I followed the presenter off stage, clutching my Emmy to my chest and praying that Johnny had been watching. I didn’t know if it had been a “grand” gesture but I hoped it had at least been enough.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Exactly one week later, I was standing nervously at an airport in Missouri waiting for Johnny to pick me up. When I had returned home on Emmy night, there had been a message from Johnny offering to pick me up at the airport when I got back.

  I had called and left a message with the details of my arrival but I hadn’t actually spoken to him. Before Julia had gone home, she had assured me that my gesture had been grand enough to win Johnny back. I wasn’t so sure. I had already been waiting fifteen minutes when I spotted a familiar truck.

  “Jake,” I said, trying not to sound disappointed as my brother-in-law swooped me up in a giant hug. I noticed that he looked tired and obviously hadn’t shaved in a few days. I tugged at his facial hair. “Lookin’ good.”

  “Well at least I don’t look like my puppy just died,” he teased me, obviously picking up on my disappointment. He grabbed my suitcase and tossed it effortless into the back of the truck. “Well, what are you waiting for? Get in. We’re not on a date. I’m not opening the door for you.”

  I laughed and climbed into the truck. It was a long drive to Princeton but I didn’t mind spending it with Jake. As much as I was hoping to see Johnny, I had no doubt our reunion would have been awkward. So I was okay with a more comfortable ride home.

  “Where’s Johnny?” I said, strapping on my seatbelt.

  “Somethin’ came up. He said to tell you he’s sorry and he’ll see ya’ later on. Besides, we both know you’d rather spend this time with me.” Jake gave me a friendly punch on the arm and I tried not to worry that Johnny hadn’t really offered much of an excuse for not coming.

  “How’s Vic? And the kids?”

  “Good, good. They are all excited to have you back home. I mean, it gets a bit crowded with you there, and trying to fit your ego in the house is almost impossible. Plus now we’ll have to make room for that Emmy of yours… but we still like having you around.”

  “Ha. Ha.” I tried to give him an annoyed look but I couldn’t. I liked Jake too much. I also knew that he was right, hopefully not about my ego, but the house would be crowded. I made a mental note to start checking into a place of my own.

  “Maybe we could add a room or two to the house. Or build a guest house out back.”

  “Yeah that’s not a bad idea.” Jake cast me a sidelong glance and then looked quickly away, but not before I picked up on a slight smile.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  “No, seriously. What?”

  “Seriously, nothing.”

  I knew Jake well enough to know he would keep that futile banter going for the entire ride so I gave up and changed the topic. We had a normal conversation the rest of the time but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Jake was keeping something from me. I thought it might be about Vic, but he didn’t really seem upset. Maybe it had something to do with the kids. That was probably it. They probably had something planned for my return.

  We were closing in on the farm when Jake started to get jumpy. He tapped his hands against the steering wheel and bounced his knee up and down. “So, you excited to be back? Bet you can’t wait to see the kids.”

  I was right, the kids had something planned. “Yeah, I can’t wait.”

  Jake turned off the main road but we weren’t on the Delroy driveway. We were on the driveway of the abandoned house next door.

  “Hey, Jake. You made a wrong turn.” I looked at him questioningly, wondering what he was up to.

  “Nope. I didn’t.” The truck followed the gravel road around a bend and then the house was right in front of us. Except it wasn’t the ramshackle house I remembered.

  The front porch no longer sagged and tilted. In fact, a new front porch had been put in. The house had new siding, freshly painted trim, a new roof. There was even a wooden porch swing swaying in the breeze.

  “You’re introducing me to the new neighbors?” I asked, even more confused. “Let me guess, they’re big fans.”

  “Not exactly new neighbors.” Jake wasn’t trying to hide his smile anymore. “Though I guess you could say he is your biggest fan.”

  “Jake, knock it off. What is going on?” I glared at Jake.

  “Just look, Glor,” he said, pointing back toward the house. I turned just in time to see someone open the front door. I stared, open-mouthed, as Johnny crossed the porch.

  “Johnny?” I whispered, even more confused. “What?”

  “Get out of the truck,” Jake said give me a gentle push. I stepped out of the truck and as soon as I shut the door, Jake pulled away, grinning and waving. My luggage was still bouncing around in his truck bed.

  “Glory. Sorry I couldn’t meet you at the airport.” Johnny was standing at the bottom of the porch steps now. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a white t-shirt; I thought he had never looked better. “Welcome home.”

  “You bought this house? This is your house?” I still didn’t understand what was happening.

  “Yes and no.” Johnny smiled teasingly.

  “Johnny, what in the hell is going on?”

  “Yes, I bought this house.” Johnny took a couple of steps forward. “But not for me. This is your house now.”

  “My house?” I was feeling shaky and a bit breathless. “How? Why?”

  “I got it for you to live in. So that you can be close to the family. I looked into the ownership after we came here that one night and found out it was for sale. So I put in an offer. I closed on it the day after you went back to L.A. and started fixing it up so it would be ready when you got back. There’s a new kitchen, two new bathrooms. I put in some new hardwood floors. New paint in all the rooms and-”

  “Johnny,” I interrupted and took a shaky step forward.

  “What?”

  “Are you saying… you bought me a house?” I was still in disbelief.

  “Yes.”

  “You bought me a house, and you fixed it up for me. And now I get to live here?”

  “Yes. I hope it’s okay. I’m sure it’s nothing like your house in L.A. but there aren’t a lot of options in Princeton. And this is so close to Vic and the kids which I thought you would like.” Johnny kicked his feet in the dirt, clearly nervous about my reaction.

  “Johnny Carter. You bought me a house. It’s not okay, it’s amazing.” I couldn’t stop myself any longer and I rushed forward. I threw myself at Johnny, practically jumping on him. I felt his breath on my neck as he laughed in relief. “You’re amazing.”

  “Well it’s not as big as your grand gesture, but it’s all I could come up with.”

  “Grand gesture? You’ve been talking to Julia haven’t you?” I pulled away slightly.

  “She’s pretty smart for a fourteen year old,” Johnny said defensively.

  “Yes, she is.” I looked past Johnny toward the house. “I don’t think my acceptance speech shout-out even comes close to this, though. You win.”

  “That’s not the grand gesture I was talking about.”

  I looked at him in confusion. “What other gesture was there?”

  “The letters, Glor.” Johnny’s eyes filled with emotion.

  “You read them?” I had managed to forget that I had mailed Johnny those twelve letters. Finally, after a decade, he knew how I had really felt.

  “I know I told you not to write to me, but I think part of me still hoped you would. And when I never heard from you, I just assumed you had moved on.” Johnny’s fingers brushed my hair from my face. “When I got those letters in the mail, it was like the past ten years never happened. Nothing matters anymore. Nothing except us.”

  “I’m glad you liked them.” I smiled shyly. I had bared my soul in those letters, and now Johnny was returning the favor.

  “I loved them,” he assured me. His smile grew. “I also really liked tha
t part of your acceptance speech where you said you were giving up your life to move back here to be with me.”

  “That’s not exactly what I said. And it’s a completely selfish gesture. I’m not giving up my life moving back here; I’m moving back here to start living the life I always wanted. With you.”

  “You are such a girl,” Johnny said, pulling me close again as I laughed. We kissed then, one of those kisses that blocks out the rest of the world. I didn’t want it to end but Johnny was eager to show me the inside of the house.

  “You didn’t return any of my calls,” I reminded him as we crossed the threshold. “I kind of thought you hated me.”

  “Hated you?” Now it was Johnny’s turn to be confused. “Because of the whole Richard thing? Nah, I didn’t hate you because of that. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t exactly happy when it first happened. But after all those messages you left, I was able to forgive and forget.”

  “So if you didn’t hate me, why didn’t you answer? Or at least send a text now and then?”

  “Honestly, I was so busy helping Jake with farm, keeping my shop running and getting this house fixed up I didn’t have a lot of time. And I couldn’t very well tell you that since I wanted the house to be a surprise. When you first left, I thought I could keep it a secret but I almost let it slip a dozen times. Then, after I didn’t talk to you for a couple of days when the whole Richard thing went down, I realized it would be a lot easier to keep this from you if I just didn’t talk to you until you got back.”

  “Do you have any idea what that did to me? I was going insane thinking that things were over between us.”

  “You were?” Johnny looked honestly surprised. “I didn’t think you would take it that seriously. I just assumed you would think I needed some time to get over it and that we would make up soon.”

  “Really? If I stopped talking to you for a week you wouldn’t assume that something was seriously wrong?” I stopped talking as I looked around the house. The front door opened into a large living room. There was no furniture yet but it had a beautiful brick fireplace along one wall.