Surviving the Pain (A Baby Saved Me Series Book 1)

by P. J. Belden

Her mother’s loud booming voice filled the air before all the noise in the background ceased. “Sorry, dear, you know your father and Hudson. There’s always someone to fight and noises to make,” Kimberly laughed. “If you’re calling to check on him, as you can tell, he’s doing just fine.”

  “Actually, I was calling because Kenny just asked me to work a bit longer. A huge group is coming in. If not, I understand.” Ember rushed to assure her.

  “No, honey, it’s fine. You work tonight, and we’ll just keep him overnight.”

  “You don’t need to do that,” she quickly interjected. “Just a couple extra hours is all that I need.”

  “Dear,” her mother started in her no nonsense tone. “He’ll be asleep by the time you get off anyway. You don’t need to wake him up. You get some sleep tonight, and we’ll bring him by tomorrow when he’s up and ready. Okay?”

  After a moment’s pause, she finally agreed to let her mother keep him overnight. After telling him that he was staying at Grams and Gramps tonight and telling him she loved him, she hung up and walked back into Kenny’s office.

  “They are okay with it.”

  “Great. Thank you, Ember. Let Bex know that you’re staying. She thought for sure you’d back out,” he smirked.

  Laughing, she turned and walked back out front to find Bex. The place was so crowded it was hard to find her. Bex stood a few inches taller than Ember but was blessed with a tight toned body. The kind of body that men fell over themselves to get near. Her curly ash blonde hair that hung down past her shoulders and bright blue eyes were what made Bexley Thomas a sought after woman. Though no man was ever good enough in her father’s eyes, in fact, Ember wasn’t even sure that Bex has even dated.

  Finally spotting her, she headed over to her. Whispering in her ear about her staying with her for the group, she squealed and hugged Ember. Bex was simply excited that she wasn’t going to be the only one to try and tend to that many tables and people at once. Hurrying off, Ember made rounds around her section to make sure that everyone had everything they needed and took the new people – who had sat in the booth she’d just cleaned off before having to go to the back – orders.

  The night sped past in a blur of customers, orders, loud chatter, and messes. By the time the rambunctious group of twenty-something-year-olds left, Bex and Ember were dead on their feet. The final clean up took them forever to get through, and Ember’s back felt the pain from all the bending. Hugging Bex goodbye, Ember headed for the door while Bex went back to help her father close the diner down for the night.

  She didn’t know how far she’d gotten – not close enough to her car – when she was suddenly shoved to the ground from behind. Several kicks to her sides took the breath from her lungs. Suddenly she was rolled over and looked up into the faces of her attackers. One of them knelt down next to her and held her throat tightly. The other one ripped her purse from her shoulder – leaving behind a burning sensation – as a third one hovered in the background, in the shadows.

  “Listen to me, bitch!” the man that held her throat hissed in her face. “If you have any money hidden you better tell me now!” Ember couldn’t answer. Her fear clogged throat wouldn’t allow her. Even if she weren't scared shitless, she wouldn’t have been able to respond anyway because he held her throat so tight she could barely breathe.

  “Oh shit,” the man that had grabbed her purse exclaimed. “Do you know who this is?”

  The man in the dark spoke, and his voice sent fear racing through her body. “Who?”

  “It’s Ember Watson,” the man said excitedly as he handed the man in the dark something.

  The one that held her breath hostage grinned big and Ember’s heart stopped beating in her chest. This wasn’t an ‘I’m so glad to see you’ type of smile. No, it was pure evil intentions. It scared her to death. Even her oxygen deprived brain could see that the situation just got worse with her name playing into the matter.

  “Well, I’ll be damned.” It was the last thing Ember remembered hearing before he lifted her head and slammed it into the pavement.

  Waking, a scream ripped from her lungs. It was so loud that whoever sat next to Ember jumped and knocked something over. That only caused another scream to rip from her lungs. Her heart raced, and fear surged through her body making her incredibly nauseous.

  “Hey? Ember?” Holden’s concerned voice broke into her flashback.

  She’d woken up in the hospital several days after the attack. Grey and her father never left the room the whole time she was in there. To her, though, it seemed like she was still in the attack. Bex and Kenny had found her in the parking lot, calling 911 immediately. Bex said the hardest call she ever made was to her parents. Her mom had broken down completely. Then when she called Grey, she said he lost it.

  “Sorry.” It was the only response Ember could give. They weren’t stupid. They knew she’d gone back to that day.

  “It won’t happen again,” Holden said with such certainty that she almost believed him.

  “How do you know?” Anger built in her as the tears filled her eyes. “You can’t make that promise. If those extra locks help me, then let me have them. I have my son here to think about.”

  “Whoa, calm down, Emmy.” Jada stepped up next to her, wrapping her arms around Ember. “You know that we’ll do everything we can to prevent it. That’s all Holden is saying.”

  Jerking from her hold, she walked over toward the door. “Yeah, well, I’m not in need of saving. Nor am I in the mood for anyone’s pity disguised as concern.”

  “You know…” Jada started but stopped, shaking her head. “Am I being kicked out?”

  “I didn’t ask that to piss you off. All I wanted to do was make sure that you were okay. Obviously, you aren’t, but you won’t let any of us help you.” Holden growled from next to Jada.

  “Yeah, you did piss me off. I’ve been doing a great job forgetting that night until you have to question my motives for keeping myself safe and your nephew, I might add.”

  He took two anger, stiff steps toward me. “I wasn’t questioning how you were doing. I wondered why. Last time I checked, we were friends. Friends make sure their friends are okay. Forgive me for being a good friend.”

  It was Ember’s turn to walk toward him in anger. “Are you saying I’m not a good friend?” More memories of that night flooded her mind. Memories that haunted her dreams, and part of which she had never told anyone. “They…” she just stopped herself from letting them fly in anger. “Since that night, every noise scares me. Every person entering or leaving their apartment scares me. I lay awake at night listening to all the sounds that make me jump and have to place an origin for the noise in order to calm my racing heart. So, yeah, I put up a few extra locks to give myself a little reprieve from the scenarios that race in my head daily and allows me to sleep a little at night.”

  Holden’s shoulders sag and his face softened for a moment. “I never said you weren’t a good friend. I’m just worried about my family. You are my family. You and Hudson. I’m sorry.”

  Walking the remaining distance between them, she hugged him tightly and to her horror started weeping. Holden – who would rather run from a woman crying than be around – wrapped her tightly in his arms and consoled her. He whispered that everything would be okay, that he’d make sure it would be. Holden told her that he’d always be there for her no matter how hard she tried to push him away. What finally dried her tears into laughter was what he said last.

  “If you don’t stop crying, people are going to think I peed my pants.”

  It caused Ember to laugh so hard. Ember was short, but she wasn’t that short. Still it earned him what he was trying for in the first place, laughter, and no more tears. Kissing the top of her head, Holden said goodbye again and promised to be by as soon as he could get away from work to visit with Hudson.

  “So do I need to leave,” Jada asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Not unless you want to. I do mi
ss you guys. We don’t get enough time together.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. Your father is a slave driver,” she joked.

  “Do you want to talk about work and how much time we don’t get to spend together? Or do you want to catch up?” Ember asked in hopes of changing the subject.

  Jada grinned big, making her eyes almost twinkle. “Let’s dish.” She said as she walked her little legs over to Ember’s couch and curled them under her as she sat at one end. Mimicking her, Ember moved to the other end of the sofa, tucked her legs under her as they began to talk, about everything but the hard topics.

  “What was up with Holden tonight,” Jada asked a couple hours later.

  “What do you mean?” Ember watched her friend carefully as she began to blush. “Are you crushing on Holden Bolden?” That was the nickname the group had given him when they realized just how much he didn’t think about what he said before he said it. Many times he never even apologized for it.

  “What? No!” Jada gasped in a high pitched voice, completely belying her attempt to deny it.

  “Yeah, okay. I won’t press you, but I’m here to talk about it if you want.”

  “What’s there to talk about?” Jada’s once happy face fell completely. “He doesn’t even know I’m alive outside of this friend damn zone.”

  “Have you tried to tell him?” Ember asked as she leaned forward and grabbed her friend's hand in support.

  “No! What’s the point? All he ever talks about is how he’s never settling down with one girl. I’d just lose a friend.” She shrugged.

  A sad smirk played on Ember’s face. “I know how you feel. Well, kind of.”

  “Are you referring to Sage?”

  “Yeah,” her answer came out almost whispered, but filled with so much pain. “I want to let go of him. All he’s done is hurt me. You know, when Grey told me he loved me, I wanted so bad to say it back to him, to feel it for him. Though I do love him, it’s as a friend not like he loves me.” Tears blurred her vision again. “Why can’t I let Sage go?”

  There was a long silence that played after that. Jada had never met Sage. They’d become friends when she’d started working at the diner, long before she left to go work with Ember’s father. All she knew about Sage was what she’d been told by Ember and the rest of the gang that did know him.

  “Maybe, and I don’t know for sure because obviously I’m not the right person to ask, but maybe it’s because things have been left unfinished. You have so many questions. It could because of all of them that you can’t let go of him.”

  “No, you don’t understand. When I ran into him, everything was still there… maybe stronger.”

  “All I can tell you is what I would do if I were in your place. I’d get answers. Uncertainty on things always keeps those things front and center in my mind. I’m just saying hun. Not that you have to listen or that I’m right.”

  “I know,” Ember replied sadly. She was still no closer to figuring out what to do. “I know.”

  Jada stood and stretched, yawning in the process. “Well, hun, I’m sorry, but I need to get going. You are probably ready for bed yourself. We both have to be up early,” she winked.

  The girls hugged goodbye and Ember locked the house up once she was gone and started shutting lights off. It was then she saw the package on the table. Her heart started hammering in her chest. Looking back at the door, she contemplated running and getting Jada to sit with her while she opened it all. Frustrated, she shook her head and grabbed the package and carried it back to the room, shutting lights off as she went.

  Once she checked on Hudson, she walked the short distance to her room and sat in the middle of her bed staring at the box sitting there. Taking a deep breath she opened it. Inside, she found jewelry boxes, rose petals, a letter, and a card. Staring at each box, she debated on which to look at first. Deciding for the lesser of the many evils, she grabbed the card. The second she pulled the card free from the envelope, she knew who this package was from.

  The front of the card just held her captive. A daisy. A white daisy. Her favorite flower in the world. He remembered. The card looked to be custom designed for her. Swallowing hard, she opened the card and read the inside.

  Ems,

  I know you told me to leave you alone, but I can’t. I can’t forget about you. You’re on my mind every second that I’m awake, and when I sleep, you’re in my dreams. Yes, I know I screwed up big time. To be honest, I’d hoped I could come back and make up for what I messed up. However, after I saw you, I realized that it may be too late for that. Again, I’d still love the chance to explain why. Yes, I could write it all out now, but it’s not how it needs to be said. You deserve that conversation face to face.

  Ems, I love you. I’ve never stopped. The day we last saw each other was the worst day of my life. It was the day my life ended. It was… Again something that needs to be explained in person. What I can say in this is that I love you, so very much. I always will no matter what you choose to do. It doesn’t even matter to me if you’ve moved on. I’ll love you always.

  I wish I could be there to celebrate your birthday with you, but again another thing that I don’t deserve right now and maybe never will. Happy Birthday, Ems. I hope that it’s everything you dreamed it would be and more.

  Love,

  Carefully, she put everything else back in the box and shoved the whole box under her bed. Turning her light off, she climbed into bed and cried herself to sleep as she clung to his card. Maybe Jada was right. Maybe she needed the answers to move forward with her life. That was what continued to run through her mind as she finally fell asleep.

  Two weeks later…

  “Mommy.” Ember barely registered the sound of her son’s voice in her half-asleep, half-awake state her mind was in. “Mommy!” Hudson said louder.

  Jerking up on the bed, she looked at her laughing son. “What time is it?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I no not know dat, Mommy.”

  She quickly corrected her son on how to say ‘I don’t know that’ properly. She stretched for a moment. Blinking her eyes rapidly, she looked at the alarm clock next to her bed. “Oh! Booga, it’s only five in the morning.”

  He shrugged. “My door open.”

  A chill ran down her spine. “Get up in Mommy’s bed, sweetie.”

  Her son looked at her quizzically but still scurried up into her bed. Giggling softly, he cuddled under the blankets. But just as quickly as he climbed up in her bed, he jumped down screaming ‘Potty!’ and ran to the bathroom before she could stop him. A loud scream filled the apartment, and her son hurried back into the room at the same time that she heard a loud crash in the other room.

  “Mommy!” Hudson cried in her arms as she shut the door and locked it. It wouldn’t save them. These were flimsy ass doors and could not stand up to anything, but hopefully, it bought her some time.

  “Come on,” Ember whispered as she walked him over to the stand next to her bed, grabbed her phone and then took both of them in the closet. “You have to be really quiet, okay? Can you be a big boy and keep quiet for me?”

  All he did was nod his head and curled around his knees in the far back of Ember’s closet. Turning her phone on, she dialed her father’s number. The phone went immediately to voicemail, and she cursed under her breath. After trying her mom and Grey, she finally got a hold of Holden.

  “I’m a bit busy at the moment.” He answered instead of saying hello.

  “Please help us, Holden.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, but she knew he heard the fear in her voice.

  “What’s wrong?” The moaning in the background stopped, and a whine filled the silence.

  Ember cringed at what she just interrupted. “S-s-someone’s in the apartment.” She could hear whoever’s steps thud down the hall. “Hurry please!” Then she disconnected the call. Turning to Hudson, she lifted his chin so he could see her face. “Listen to me. If they find us, I want you to stay hidden. Then when I say �
��get out’ I want you to run for the door and make sure that Uncle Den gets here okay?”

  Tears streamed down his little face as he nodded his head yes. Ember pressed a long kiss to his forehead. Resting her head on his, she told him one more thing.

  “No matter what you hear as you’re running… You keep running, okay?”

  “Mommy,” he croaked.

  “Everything will be okay. Just promise me you’ll do that, all right?”

  Her son’s little head bobbed up and down as he took a halted breath. Ember scooted them further back in the closet and covered her precious little boy with blankets. That’s when she bumped the box that had once been under her bed, until a few days ago. She never did finish looking at it. It was trading pain for fear, but it was a trade Ember wanted to exchange at that moment. Opening the letter, she was shocked when money fell from inside the folded piece of paper, a lot of money. Stuffing that back in the envelope, she hid it in her closet and turned her attention back to the letter.

  Ems my love,

  I’ve sat here and stared at those three words for what feels like hours. I’ve already boxed up your gifts and your card. If I know you, and I’d like to think I still do, you opened the card first and this letter second. You never were a material kind of person. You’d much prefer the person’s thoughts, feelings, or actions over that of a monetary gift. Only I can’t do any of those things because I’ve let you down. I left and never looked back, or at least that’s what you thought. The thing is, I did look back and have since the day you found me. The time I had with you, it was my only happiness. It was more than that, though. You are my only peace. When things got worse, your memories were the reason I was able to smile, to keep moving, to survive.

  I know I keep saying this, but I need to explain this all to you. I’m going to be away for a little while, and I’ll explain that then (whenever you allow me to talk to you, and I’ll wait forever if I need to) too, but please should our paths cross again… I hope you’ll let me explain things, if for nothing else but for you to have answers to all the questions that I know have been spinning in your beautiful mind. I won’t lie, I hope to get a chance to rekindle things with us, but I also understand that the bridge may have already been burnt for that.