Secrets (Sea Crest Book 3)

by Carrie Banks

  We’ve had sex without a condom before, but he’s always pulled out.

  “We should probably talk about this.”

  “What?”

  “I get the shot, but you probably shouldn’t have come in me like that. It freaked me out.”

  “I just wanted you to know how special you are to me. I’ve never done that with anyone before, not even with Blaire,” he says, kissing me softly.

  “I’m going to call my doctor and ask if I need to do anything or take the morning after pill.”

  There’s no way I am ready for a baby or would even know what decision to make if I got pregnant with his right now.

  “I’m sorry—I wasn’t thinking clearly. My mind goes numb every time I touch you. I’ll go pick up a script for you if you end up needing one.”

  “Thanks.”

  ***

  “Hey chica, wasn’t last night everything we dreamed it would be?”

  Gabby is still glowing from yesterday and not wanting to spoil her moment, I agree.

  “Yes. Last night was fantastic. I’m so happy for you both.”

  Picking up a glass of orange juice I toast her and Barron. Thank God there is a full spread of food. I heap my plate high, full of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. Then, I add a muffin before taking a seat. There’s a pitcher of iced coffee already in the middle of the table.

  “Jen thought you might need that,” Barron says with a bit of humor.

  “Wow, I need to give her a tip. She’s been so kind to me.”

  “That’s unnecessary. I compensate her well.”

  Ryan sits down next to me and the four of us enjoy brunch sheltered by the sunshade on the rear deck of the Majesty.

  “What do you want to do for your birthday next weekend, Gabby?”

  “I’m not sure. I haven’t really thought about it Tess.”

  “Let’s go to Newport. I haven’t taken you girls out there yet and it’s almost August.”

  “I’d love that Barron.” Gabby tells him with a quick kiss.

  “Anything for you babe. Invite whomever you want.”

  “I just want the four of us, and JD.”

  “Done.”

  As we finish brunch and my phone buzzes on the table. My doctor’s name flashes on the screen.

  “I need to take this.”

  Excusing myself I head inside to take the call. I explain to her what happened, and she suggests I take the morning after pill since I’m due for another shot. With the timing being so close, it’s a risk I’m not willing to take. Plus, Mom would freak out.

  The door opens behind me as I disconnect.

  “Do you need me to run into town?”

  “Well, my doctor ended up calling in the morning after pill to make sure that I don’t get pregnant.”

  “I’m so sorry. Just tell me which pharmacy and I’ll pick it up. You’re not alone in this.”

  “Thanks, Ryan, but I need to get home anyway. Gabby said I could take her car. She plans on staying all day and driving to work with Barron tomorrow.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll take you home.”

  “I have a lot to do today. After I pick up my script, I need to help my parents in their garden. Sunday’s are typically a family day and I’ve been blowing them off for weeks. I’ve been so wrapped up with you and all this—waving my hand I gesture to the yacht. That I’ve lost sight of my regular life. I don’t want to leave or this summer to end, but I don’t want to be in a panic later for not being prepared when it is over.”

  “I understand,” he puts his arms around me, holding me tight. “just promise me you aren’t pulling away because of what happened last night.”

  “I’m not. I swear. Besides, if I let you drive me home, my mom would never let you leave. I’m talking at least a five-hour interrogation.”

  “Whoa. I’ll see you next weekend in Newport. It doesn’t make any sense for me to drive all the way to Connecticut when Newport’s only a forty-minute drive from Boston.”

  I tidy up the cabin then pack all my things.

  “Leave them.”

  “What?”

  “Leave some of your toiletries here. You’ll be back every weekend with me until the end of summer anyway.”

  “I can’t even think about September right now,” he says.

  “I know,” zipping up my bag, I carefully reach up and unhook my Chanel gown. Ryan takes everything out of my arms and carries my things out to Gabby’s Jeep carefully placing everything inside.

  “I’m sorry about last night. If I wasn’t such a dick, you would’ve had the night you deserved.”

  “Let’s just put it behind us.”

  He kisses me and as usual, everything else fades away. As I come up for air, Ryan murmurs in my hair, “I want this to work out. I hate that you’ll be even farther away soon, but we’ll figure it out.”

  “I want to make this work, too. I already looked at the express train from here to Boston. It’s under two hours.”

  I reach up and pull his face down, twining my fingers into his hair—I never want to let him go. Our lips meet over and over until Charles honks his horn, trying to pull his car into the drive.

  “I might as well head back soon, and let Barron and Gabby enjoy some alone time. I’ll call you when I’m on the road.” He gives me a quick kiss and opens the car door.

  I pull Gabby’s Wrangler away from the curb. Adjusting the rearview mirror, I stare at Ryan’s reflection until he disappears.

  CHAPTER TWO

  RYAN

  I watch her go feeling like the biggest asshole on the planet. I really fucked-up last night. And again this morning. One minute I was fine—the next I was on the verge of losing my shit. I’ve been deluding everyone around me, including myself that I’m fine. I text my therapist asnd ask if she can talk later this week. I won’t lose my golden girl over this. I can’t. At least not yet.

  It’s overcast and gray. The weather fits my mood perfectly. I don’t want to drive back to Boston where the only thing that waits for me is old memories and ghosts of happier times.

  I decide to change into my workout gear and use the gym in the Foster’s basement. Charles has only the best home gym equipment, but I bypass it all and pull on a pair of boxing gloves.

  I kill the bag. Jabbing left and right. Punching the damn thing so hard my knuckles burn through the glove.

  Sweat covers my brow, rolls down my back and I keep hitting.

  “I think you won.”

  I turn, not expecting him.

  He takes a seat on the chest press bench and stares hard at me. “Is this about your sister still or something else?”

  “Everything. It’s about everything.”

  “Do you feel better?”

  “No.”

  “Good. You’re learning, son. Problems eat away at your insides until you face them head on. You can’t solve them or make them go away using your fists.”

  “I always used scotch.”

  “I know. But you aren’t anymore?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Good. Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

  I’m caught off guard. Charles has basically left me to my own devices since I moved in. He watched but from a distance. It was a welcome change from the smothering B and my mother were giving me.

  I sigh, and take the gloves off. Grabbing a fresh towel I wipe the sweat from my face and take a few sips from the water bottle I brought down with me. “It’s complicated.”

  “Not usually.”

  “Fine. You want a heart-to-heart, Charles? You want me to spill all my ugly secrets to you? I fucked everything up with the girl I’ve been seeing. I was a dick to her friend who worked the party last night. I got him fired. I threw three hundred in cash at him and insulted him to his face. Tessa—she was so pissed that I drove her straight into the arms of her ex. We were both so out of control. I was fired up. I craved it Charles. I craved going back into the dark where I felt nothing. I almost grabbed a bottl
e of scotch from your bar after she fell asleep.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  “No,” I shake my head.

  “Well, that’s progress.”

  “I-I she needs to take the morning after pill.”

  His face changes. “Son—I’ve told Barron a million times. Listen up good, you have a bright future. You’re going to Harvard. Don’t ruin it over some summer girl.”

  My fists clench. She’s not some summer girl. I love her.”

  Charles sighs. “You have to much on your shoulders. I know you’re in a rush to be your own man. But you’re only nineteen. Talk to me in ten years. You’ll see. Until then, make smarter choices… for yourself and her.”

  I nod.

  “I still feel like such a dick. I guess her friend really needed the money for football camp. I hear he’s pretty good.”

  “Who?”

  “Tyler Brentwood.”

  “Hell, Ryan. Please tell me you didn’t hit the kid?”

  “No, but I wanted to. Why?”

  “He’s Sea Crest’s best hope of having a local athlete go pro. The boy has broken every school and state record. His parents are good people. Poor, but good.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll make some calls.” He rubs his chin thoughfully. “Barron never knew but Principal Daniels also kept me in the loop about what went down at Pine Point. I knew the football team was giving Barron some trouble. It’s one of the reason’s why I was eager to let you stay here. I knew you’d have his back…”

  “What are you getting at?”

  “Chess pieces on a board. I taught Barron how to play, hoping he’d apply it to real life. My success is no mistake, son. Didn’t your father ever teach you?”

  “No. The only thing he taught me was how to be a prick.”

  “Come upstairs to my office. Watch. Listen. Learn.”

  I’m curious. Charles never lets anyone in his office. I wasn’t going to pass up a chance.

  “Just don’t sit. All my leather was imported from Italy.”

  I nod, watching as he picks up his desk phone. Charles is old school. His landline is one of those heavy, old phones from the eighties. It’s black and has a rotary dial. His office smells like fresh leather and faint cigars. It’s a man’s domain.

  “Dan. Charles, here. How would you like to get Sea Crest High’s star QB? You fools might actual win a title this year….yes. I’m dead serious. I’d like to make an anonymous donation and pay for the boy’s entire senior year at Pine Point. Call the parents and dangle that carrot. If his grades are good he’ll have a choice to make—Ivy league or the NFL. Who wouldn’t want those two options staring their eighteen-year-old kid in the face?”

  He hangs up with a satisfied grin. It just dawned on me that with Ty out of Sea Crest High—he’ll be away from Tessa.

  “He wants my girl.”

  “Like I said, son. Chess pieces on a board. Ty gets to go to Pine Point and gain more exposure with a better education and you get him clear of your girl.”

  “Damn you’re good.”

  “The best.”

  I grin feeling much better. I acted like an ass but turned out to be Tyler Brentwood’s winning fucking ticket out of the south side. I whistled as I showered feeling like a million bucks.

  “What’s got you so damn cheery?” Barron asks, leaning against the door to my room. I rummage through my closet wearing a towel. “Charles. I know you said he gives you a hard time, but the man in is a fucking genius.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, he just taught me the art of playing chess using people on the board. He helped me solve a few problems. You should ease up on how you talk about him. He’s cool as fuck.”

  Barron averts his eyes. “I’m glad he made time for you. Since he could give a fuck about me.”

  “Come on, bro. You know that’s not true. He’s been cool as fuck that we brought Cody here without telling him and had the barn renovated.”

  “I paid for that. With what was leftover from my trust.”

  “Fuck, really?”

  He nods. “Damn. I owe you big.”

  “Nah, it’s all good. We’re family, bro. What are you going to do with him anyway. We need to find him a home before fall.”

  I sit on my bed, and stroke my chin. “Fuck fall. I want it to stay summer forever. Everything good is going to end then.”

  “No. everything good is only beginning. I know you think you’re in love but Ry—Harvard is your ticket to fininanicl freedom. The career you want, you can carve your own path away from your parents—for good. Don’t get bogged down in high school drama like you did last night.”

  “You heard?”

  “It was the talk of the party after you left. Word spread like wildfire that you got Brentwood canned and had an epic fight in the parking lot with your date. Blaire and Carter were loving it.”

  “Great. Just fucking great. It’s all good about Brentwood, though. Charles helped make it right.” His eyebrow lifts. “Guess who is going to be Pine Point’s new star QB?”

  “Damn. That is perfect for you. Gabby said he made a play for Tess.”

  “He did.”

  “I hated the football team.”

  “You did and now those fuckers will have to kiss Brentwood’s south-side ass.”

  “Did you turn down London?”

  “I did.”

  “Selfishly, I’m releived. But you shoud’ve gone.”

  I shrug. “HSB will be good. I kind of hate dorm life though…”

  He takes a key from his pocket and tosses it in the air. I catch it one handed.

  “We’re going to be living in style, bro. I alraedy hired a cook and cleaner. Go pack your things and move in.”

  “Thanks, I will. B found me last week. It was ugly.”

  “I bet.”

  “Where’s Gabby?”

  “Taking a shower. Listen, I’m glad things are going well with Tess…but I don’t see this thing with Gabby going anywhere past summer. I’m leaving everything high school behind.”

  “Thanks for the head’s up. But don’t be so sure. Gabby’s been good for you. She handled Charles like a pro.”

  “It seems everyone gets along better with him than me.”

  “That’s because you’re his kid. Look at me and my parents…you speak to my mom more than I do.”

  He shrugs. “I need to hose down the decks. I’ll see you next weekend in Newport.”

  “Yeah. I’ll meet you there.”

  I finish getting dressed and text Tess making sure she’s all right. But she doesn’t reply. I went too far last night and freaked her out. But even if she ever did get pregnant, I know I’d keep her and the baby. I wouldn’t even hesitate.

  CHAPTER THREE

  TESSA

  My hands break into the warm earth as I weed around my parents’ prized hydrangea bushes.

  Every year the blooms line the picket fence by the street and when in bloom—it’s a constant reminder that it’s summer. When the blooms start to fade, it’s a sad reminder the cold New England winters are around the corner.

  But I don’t want to think of winter right now. My dad casts a shadow as he stands over me holding a glass of homemade lemonade. “Why don’t you take a break. You’ve been weeding for hours. Your mother might be pleased that you’re finally home and doing all her chores, but I know you, kiddo. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” I reply taking the drink.

  “Uh-huh.”

  I pull my sunhat down lower. I can’ talk to him about boys or that I had unprotected, crazy sex.

  I’m scared.

  So many things are running through my mind. I don’t want to have a baby at seventeen. But what would I actually do if faced with that? My doctor gave me the morning after pill and I’m starting to feel queasy. Too many drugs in less than twenty-four hours is taking its toll. Gardening under the hazy sun was also a stupid idea.

  “I’m going to take a break.�
�� I stand feeling light-heated and a bit dizzy but hide it by walking slow. My hand grips the front porch railing tight and I sit on the rocking swing in the shade.

  Katie waves from across the street and comes over.

  “Can I have some lemonade, too?”

  “Sure. Go right in and help yourself.”

  She comes back out carrying a tall glass and sits next to me. “Where have you been, Tessa? I’ve missed you.” Her tiny chin wobbles.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve been hanging out with a stupid boy.”

  Her eyes widen.

  “Did you kiss him,” she whispers.

  “I did.”

  “Gross.” We sit in silence and sip our drinks. I use one foot to gently rock the swing. “All my friends are at camp. I’m bored. Mommy and Daddy can’t afford camp, so my grandma watches me all day. She’s nice,” she breaks of shrugging, “… but sometimes I wish I could be with my friends, too. The mean girl I was telling you about, Evie, she’s going to pony camp. I’ve always wanted to ride a pony.”

  “You’ve never?”

  “I’ve never even pet one.”

  Wheels start turning in my head. “I’m actually feeling a little sick. I’m not going to work tomorrow. Do you think your parents will let me drive you to the beach after we go somewhere special?”

  Her cute eyes widen. “For real? You’d spend the day with me?”

  “For real,” I nod, feeling warmth spread. She’s so easy to love. It’s easy to understand Ry’s pain.

  “Tessa…”

  “What, sweetie?”

  “I think you feel sick because you kissed that stupid boy. Kissing spreads germs.”

  I shake my head. Because she’s so right. I feel sick because kissing led to other things…that I hope she doesn’t learn about for a long, long, time.

  “You know what, Katie? Just when you think nothing good happens, life can surprise you.”

  She twists the ends of her shirt. She’s so sweet and a bit insecure. But best of all she has no idea the surprise she’s in for when tomorrow comes.