Loving Bad

by Regan Ure

  "Sure."

  We left the dorm and went to the cafeteria.

  Later, when I got back, I realized I'd left my phone behind again. I glanced down at the screen and saw twenty missed calls from my brother, Connor. I let out a sigh before I dialed his number. I was preparing for the inevitable lecture that I was going to get when he answered on the second ring.

  "Where have you been? I've been going out of my mind with worry," he lectured me in a worried tone. He'd had time to work himself up.

  I rolled my eyes before I answered.

  "I'm fine. I just forgot my phone behind when I went to get some something to eat," I explained to him.

  "You left it behind! What if you'd needed to call for help and you didn't have your phone?" he continued in an angry tone. I bit my lip to stop myself from telling him to quit being so dramatic.

  "I'm sorry," I mumbled, knowing there was no use trying to argue with him. As much as I wanted to break free from his hold, I understood why he was so protective, so I tried to put up with it. It was frustrating at times, but I knew he was doing it out of love.

  I loved my brotherly dearly—he was the only family I still had left—but his overprotectiveness was suffocating me. If he had his way, he'd have me under lock and key.

  "If you're going to be irresponsible I'll hire someone to watch you," he threatened. He was starting to pull out the big guns. When I'd first made the decision to go to college, he'd fought me on it. After months of arguing about it, he'd finally conceded, but he'd told me that if at any time he felt that I wasn't careful he'd hire a bodyguard to keep me safe. To an outsider, it could look overdramatic, but if you knew the truth you'd understand why he was the way he was. As much as I hated it, I understood.

  "Please don't. I promise not to forget my phone again," I said, trying to reason with him. There was no way I wanted someone following me around the college. It would attract attention that I didn't want and I wanted to have a normal college experience—and normal didn't include a bodyguard.

  If he knew what happened last night, he'd been on the first plane here to take me home. But home was his house, not mine, and I wanted to make my own way in life. This was my chance, and I wasn't going to let him ruin it. I was determined to be able to make my own decisions even if they led to a few mistakes in the process. He let out a big sigh, and there were a few moments of silence.

  "You know I do this because I love you," he explained, sounding like he'd managed to calm down a bit.

  "Yeah, I know. I love you too," I replied, sitting down on my bed and leaning against the wall as I waited for him to say more.

  He worried so much. I wondered if all the stress was going to put him into an early grave one day.

  "So how are things going?" he asked, trying to make conversation. He phoned me every day to check on me.

  "Good."

  There was no way I could tell him what happened last night, or he'd show up and drag me back home.

  "You okay with the workload?" he asked.

  I began to fidget with the end of the blanket that covered my bed. The stitching was coming undone.

  "Yeah, so far so good," I said. I was so glad to be out from under his protective presence that college and all the studying was easier than dealing with him.

  I know it was horrible to think that, but it was the truth. Despite the fact that I knew his protectiveness came from the fact that he loved me and was scared to lose me, it was suffocating. He'd thought he'd nearly lost me once, and that fear pushed him to take every precaution he could to ensure my safety.

  "I’ve got to go. I've got a meeting," he told me. "Please keep your phone on you."

  "I will."

  "I love you," he said. He said it to me every time we talked. I think it was those three words that people regretted not uttering for the last time to a loved one that they had lost.

  "I love you too."

  The call ended, and I dropped my phone onto my bed. I let out a sigh as I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes for a moment.

  "Was it that rough?" Jordan asked.

  She'd been so quiet I'd forgotten she was in the room with me. I opened my eyes and found her sitting on her bed, crossed-legged with a book on her lap.

  "Yes, but it was my fault. I shouldn't have forgotten my phone," I said, rubbing my forehead. I was still feeling a little fragile and, after the conversation I just had, I could feel another headache starting up.

  I'd told her about my overprotective brother, but I had never told her why he was so overprotective. It wasn't something I liked to talk about, and she understood that. The problem with telling people about it was the sympathetic looks, and I just couldn't stand those anymore. This was my chance to start over, doing what I wanted, making my own mistakes without my past following me every step of the way.

  For the rest of the day, I put my homework away and lay on my bed with a book, trying to get my mind off a hot bad-boy who made my stomach flutter every time I saw him.

  The next week was busy. Between classes and homework, I didn't have a lot of free time. I'd made it in just in time to my last class for the day. Still out of breath, I sat down in the first available seat and began to get my books out.

  "You nearly didn't make it," said a voice from beside me.

  I brushed my hair out of my face to see a guy that I'd noticed the week before smiling at me. I tried to calm my heart down as I gave him a friendly smile back.

  "Yeah, tell me about it," I replied as I went back to the task of getting my notes out.

  I could still feel his gaze on me, and I tried to ignore it when the class started up. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't concentrate on the teacher and what he was babbling on. It was the boy with the nice smile beside me who had kept my thoughts busy. The few times I'd snuck glances at him, he'd smiled knowingly at me.

  He had blond hair with dark blue eyes, but his dimples that appeared every time he smiled were his sexiest feature. Embarrassed that I'd been caught looking at him a few times during class, I packed my bag as soon as the bell rang and tried to get out of the class before I embarrassed myself further.

  "Wait," he called out to me as I exited the classroom.

  I didn't want to be rude, so I stopped and turned to face him.

  "I'm Caleb," he said while running a hand through his hair.

  "I'm Taylor," I replied as I hitched the strap of my bag higher onto my shoulder.

  "When a pretty girl sneaks in a couple of glances my way, I don't let her leave without taking her number," he said and pulled out his phone.

  I was speechless.

  "Are you going to give me your number?" he asked, seeming a little more serious than before.

  For a moment, while his eyes held mine, I debated whether or not to give him my number. I was here to experience everything that I could. I liked him, and there was nothing wrong with that, so I decided to give him my number and he typed it into his phone.

  "I'll call you, and we can go out sometime," he said as he turned to leave.

  I nodded, and he gave me that killer smile with the dimples once more before he disappeared down the hallway.

  For a few minutes, I stood there trying to get myself together. It had been the first time a guy had asked me for my number, and my heart was still hammering with excitement. It was precisely for these moments that I'd strived hard to experience, and it was even better than I'd ever dreamed. I smiled to myself as I turned to walk back to the dorm. I still had the stupid smile on my face when I pushed the door open to my room.

  "Why are you so happy?" Jordan asked, looking at me with narrowed eyes.

  “A guy asked for my number," I said, sharing my moment with her.

  "That is awesome. What's his name?" she asked, closing the book she'd just been studying.

  "Caleb," I said.

  "Come on, I want all the details," she prompted as she patted the empty spot beside her. I dropped my bag onto the floor beside her bed, and I sat besid
e her. She listened intently as I gave her a brief rundown of what happened.

  "So what does he look like?" she asked. My first response was to say he looked like the opposite of Sin, but I caught myself. I couldn't understand why I compared him to a boy I barely knew.

  "He's tall and blond with dark blue eyes," I said, trying to describe Caleb to her. "And he has dimples."

  "I have a weakness for dimples," Jordan revealed, shaking her head.

  Before I could stop myself, I thought about Sin. It seemed I had a thing for bad boys who had piercings and were covered in tattoos.

  "So if he calls, will you go out with him?" Jordan asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

  "Sure, he's really cute," I answered automatically. He was good-looking, and he seemed like a nice guy so I would definitely give it a chance.

  I couldn't help thinking that although I'd been excited about Caleb asking me for my number, my response was still lukewarm compared to how I felt around Sin. Sin didn't seem like the type to ask a girl for her number. He seemed like the type to give her one earth-shattering night and then never look her way again. I'd been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I'd missed half of what Jordan had been saying so I only caught the end part.

  "What are you going to wear?" she asked.

  I frowned for a moment.

  "Wear to what?" I asked, confused.

  "You weren't listening to a word I was saying," she said as she smiled knowingly at me. "You daydreaming about Caleb already?"

  I shrugged, not wanting to lie.

  "There is a party tonight," she repeated. "So what are you going to wear?"

  My first party had been an eventful one. Most girls after experiencing what I had would steer clear of parties for the rest of their lives, but for me it was different. I didn't want to shy away from experiences even though they might be bad.

  "I'm not sure I have anything to wear," I mumbled.

  "It's okay, I'm sure I can find something of mine you can wear," she said as she got up and walked over to her closet.

  "Just no miniskirts," I said, remembering spending half the night trying to make sure my panties didn't show the last time.

  "No miniskirts," she said and began to look through her wardrobe.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Taylor

  I was a little apprehensive as we walked to the party. I was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans that I'd paired off with a royal blue halter-top that I'd borrowed from Jordan. Black ballets finished off my outfit. Jordan had tried to talk me into heels again, but I'd refused. She was wearing a black miniskirt with a tight, black sleeveless top that showed off her narrow waist and ample cleavage. The night air was a little chilly as we walked to the party. I rubbed my arms, trying to keep the cold away as I walked alongside Jordan.

  She'd given me another lecture of dos and don'ts, emphasizing the point not to take a drink from a stranger. I didn't want a repeat of the last time I'd done that, although I couldn't wish away waking up next to a sexy bad-boy who still occupied my thoughts a week later.

  It was just after nine when we arrived outside the house where the party was in full swing. There were people talking and drinking outside on the patio, and some were already unsteady on their feet. Jordan nodded her head to greet a couple of them as I followed her into the house. Music blared from the living room where people were dancing. We forced our way through the jostling bodies to the kitchen to get something to drink.

  After we got a couple of drinks, we went back to look over the dance floor. My eyes drifted over the crowd as I took a tentative sip of my drink. I cringed as I drank the vile liquid. A guy across the room gave me an appreciative look. The fact that I didn't have a lot of experience with guys didn't mean that I didn't know that I was attractive. I was still getting the hang of dealing with some of the attention I was receiving from boys, so I gave him a forced half smile and let my eyes keep moving over the crowd. A little while later Jordan peered into my empty cup.

  "I'll go and get us some more drinks," she said as she took my empty cup and disappeared into the crowd in the direction of the kitchen.

  I was swaying to the beat when I felt hands rest gently on my hips and slide around my waist. The hairs on the back of my neck rose in anticipation as I felt warm breath against my ear.

  "I didn't expect to see you here," the husky voice whispered against my ear.

  I closed my eyes for a moment. I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. My body's reaction to him was a telltale sign for me. For a moment, I allowed myself to enjoy the feel of his body against mine and revel it in.

  Gently, he released me and turned me around to face him. I tilted my gaze upwards to meet his eyes. His eyes met mine, and I felt a flutter in my stomach as he held me gently with his hands resting lightly on my hips. He smiled, and I felt my knees weaken. His smile turned to a knowing one when he took in my reaction to him. There was no hiding it. He could see the effect he had on me.

  "I hope you haven't taken any drinks from strangers tonight," he said as his eyes flickered from my lips back to my eyes.

  I bit down on my lip nervously. I felt vulnerable and exposed under his intense gaze. Unable to form words because of the havoc he'd started, I shook my head. His eyes lifted and looked past me.

  "I’d better go before your friend gets back," he said. Then he leaned forward, and I felt the air in my lungs lock as his warm breath caressed my cheek.

  "I'll see you around, Taylor," he whispered against my ear and I felt a shiver of awareness run through me. I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I opened them, he was gone.

  I scanned the room quickly, but I couldn't find him. I took a deep breath and let it out. Jordan returned moments later and pushed a drink into my hands.

  "Thanks," I mumbled to her absentmindedly as I tried to pull myself together. My heart was still racing in my chest.

  "Are you okay?" she asked me as she studied my face.

  "Yeah," I replied. I couldn't exactly tell her the truth—that I was turned on by the bad-boy she'd warned me about.

  "Are you sure? You look a little flushed," she said as she touched my cheek briefly with the back of her hand.

  "I'm fine," I lied. I was so not fine. Sin, with just a few whispered words and a smile, had made me nearly combust with the heat of my hormones raging through my body.

  He was lethal.

  I spent the next hour trying to forget about Sin. Some guy was trying to chat me up but, as hard as I tried to pay attention to what he was saying, my mind was replaying my moment with Sin over and over again. I bet he knew exactly what he was doing when he was in the bedroom with a girl, and I couldn't help but imagine his naked body against mine, our bodies slick with sweat. A red blush tinged my cheeks at the naughty thought.

  The boy who was trying to chat me up cleared his throat, which brought my focus back to him.

  "So, do you want to go out sometime?" he asked, his eyes wide and expressive as he waited for my answer.

  I was out to enjoy life and live it to the fullest, but spending a night in the company of a guy who couldn't even hold my attention for a short time didn't sound like my idea of fun.

  "I'm sorry, I've got too much studying to do," I said, giving him the nicest brush-off I could come up with so quickly.

  "Sure, I get it," he mumbled. He looked a little disappointed, so I gave him a smile. He didn't stick around.

  My eyes caught sight of Sin. Just the sight of him was enough to make me come alive in ways only he could cause. A stab of jealousy stabbed through me when I noticed he wasn't alone. The girl was blond and pretty. Even though my mind was telling me to look away and ignore him, my eyes remained on the two of them. He leaned down and said something against her ear and she giggled. I watched as he took her by the hand and led her to a darkened corner by the stairs. People were too busy dancing and drinking to notice the two of them, but I couldn't pull my eyes away from them.

  Jordan was still dancing next to me. Thankf
ully, she was too busy flirting with some hot guy to notice who had my attention. Sin leaned forward and kissed the girl. I knew I should look away, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't. The girl's arms wrapped around his neck, and he deepened the kiss. I felt a flutter in my stomach at the thought of him doing that to me. I watched as his hand caught her knee when she lifted a leg to wrap around him. His hand slid forward and cupped her butt as they kissed. I was so transfixed by the two of them and what they were doing that it took me a moment to realize that the girl didn't have Sin's undivided attention. His lips were still against hers, but his eyes were on me.

  Look away! I told myself, but I couldn't.

  He smiled against the girl's lips as his eyes held mine. I felt myself blush at the brazen way I was watching him make out with some random girl. It was Jordan who finally pulled my attention away from him.

  "Do you want another drink?" she asked.

  "No, I think I'm done for the night," I replied, setting my empty cup on the closest table I could find.

  "Okay, then let's leave," she said.

  I felt a little bad for cutting her night short. She seemed to be enjoying herself. It wasn't her fault that I couldn't keep my eyes off Sin.

  "No, you stay," I insisted. "I can get a taxi back to the dorm."

  "I don't mind calling it a night," she insisted.

  Just before we turned to leave, I glanced back to Sin and the girl. He was pressed up against her, kissing her. I'd been forgotten, and I couldn't help feeling a little deflated.

  That night, I tossed and turned. As hard as I tried to forget about Sin, I couldn't get rid of the images of him and the girl, which kept me up for most of the night. The way Sin looked at me while he'd been kissing that girl made my stomach flip. In those eyes was a promise of what I wanted: hot, mind-blowing sex.

  If he could make me feel like that with just one look, I wanted what he could make me feel with the touch of his mouth and fingers. I could feel the heat in my cheeks at the naughty thought, and I felt an ache between my legs. I pressed my knees together, trying to rid myself of the physical effects of him on my body. I beat my pillow as I turned onto my stomach and tried to get some sleep, but every time I closed my eyes I saw Sin's hypnotizing eyes.