Loving Bad

by Regan Ure

  Jordan never greeted him; instead, she just nodded her head at him. I think if she'd opened her mouth she would have told him off or said something she shouldn't have. I didn't want to make a scene. I was hurt enough, and I didn't want to make a fool of myself on top of that.

  "Where are you guys headed?" he asked. I didn't know if he was actually interested or if he was just making conversation.

  "To the movies," Jordan said.

  "Well, it was nice seeing you again, Taylor," he murmured with his gaze fixed on me.

  I gave him a brief nod and pulled my eyes from him. Jordan linked her arm through mine, and we walked away. I'd been through plenty of stuff in my life that had been hard, but that had been one of the most crushing experiences of my life.

  Was this a taste of heartbreak? If it was, I hoped I never fell in love to ensure I never had my heart broken. This brief encounter had hurt me and bruised my ego, but I was strong enough to pick myself up and carry on. It wasn't like Sin had done anything wrong. What we shared didn't last longer than one night together. It was my fault for getting too attached to him.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Taylor

  When we got back from the movie, I was quiet and subdued. Jordan eyed me sympathetically, and I waited for her to say something like, 'I told you so,' but she didn't. That night as I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling in the dark, I gave myself a pep talk. I knew what I'd been getting into with Sin, and I needed to put my big-girl panties on and deal with it.

  The next morning I woke up feeling emotionally lighter, and I was ready to move on to new experiences. I didn't see Sin around campus for the next couple of days. Wednesday, Caleb and I made plans to go out to the movies. I didn't want to overdress, so I settled for a pair of skinny jeans and a tight pale-blue crop top that matched my eyes. Jordan did my makeup, and I was happy when I surveyed myself in the mirror.

  Caleb was waiting for me outside the dorm. He was dressed in dark jeans and white button-up shirt that he rolled up to his elbows. There was no doubt about it— he was a good-looking guy. His eyes took me in, and he smiled.

  "You look beautiful," he complimented me.

  "Thanks," I replied, feeling excited about our date—my first date. Like a gentleman, he opened the car door for me, and I slid into the passenger seat. I had no idea what type of car it was, but I knew it was expensive. I fidgeted nervously as he closed the door and walked around the car to get into the driver's side.

  "What would you like to watch tonight?" he asked as he started up the car. I liked that he asked me that although I really wasn't that fussy.

  "Anything," I replied with a shrug.

  "Anything?" he questioned mischievously as he gave me a side-glance.

  "Yes," I replied as I shot him a suspicious look, wondering what he was up to.

  "Even a horror?" he said, lifting his eyebrows.

  "Yes, even a horror," I replied, shaking my head at him. Horror movies didn't scare me because I knew they weren't real. And it was hard to get scared at them when I'd lived through real horror.

  The ride to the theater was quick—so quick, in fact, we could have walked. Caleb pulled up at the front and got out of the car. It was only when I got out, and Caleb closed the door, that I saw Sin and Slater. They were standing outside the same bar where I'd seen Sin and the girl a few nights before. Was there no getting away from the guy? The bonus was that I was with a hot guy, and he wasn't with a girl. It made me feel more confident this time around.

  Slater smiled at me when he saw me and I knew I couldn't just walk away without saying hello. Sin glanced from Caleb to me before giving me a tight smile.

  "Hi," I greeted them and turned to introduce Caleb.

  "Nice to meet you," said Slater as he shook Caleb's hand. Sin didn't. He just gave a brief nod of his head.

  "Where are you guys headed?" Slater asked.

  "To the movies," I replied nervously. While Slater was being friendly, Sin was being the exact opposite. I couldn't help but wonder if it annoyed him to see me out with someone else. I didn't let it play on my mind for too long because it didn't matter. I glanced down at my watch.

  "We’d better go, otherwise we're going to miss the show," I told them as I reached for Caleb's hand and felt his fingers intertwine with mine. The truth was no matter how much I wanted to say that Sin didn't affect me, no matter how many times I repeated that to myself, I'd taken Caleb's hand hoping to make him a little jealous. I wanted him to feel what I had when I'd seen him with that girl. It was childish, but I couldn't help myself.

  "We're having another party on Saturday. Why don't you come? Bring Caleb and your hot friend, Jordan," Slater said as Caleb and I started to walk away.

  "I will," I replied as I turned to Slater and gave him a short wave. Sin was staring at me with a look I couldn't decipher, but I ignored him as I turned around. Hand in hand with Caleb, we walked away. When we entered the movie, Caleb turned to me.

  "You have history with Sin?" he asked with a questioning look as he let go of my hand. Had it been a bit obvious?

  "I don't think it quite qualifies as history," I said with a shrug. It wasn't history; it had been one night. One great night, but there was no way I was going into details with Caleb.

  "He looked like he wanted to beat the crap out of me," said Caleb with a smile.

  "Really?" I said. He'd been a bit standoffish but I hadn't noticed that. "You don't have to worry. Whatever was going on is finished."

  "Good," he said, taking my hand in his. I looked at him.

  "You get to choose the movie," he told me. Whatever had happened hadn't hindered him, and I liked that. He was secure in himself.

  I ended up choosing the horror. Caleb insisted on paying for everything, which I found nice. During the movie, he put his arm around me. It had been a nice date and on the walk back to the car there was no sign of Sin or Slater.

  "Tell me a bit about you," Caleb said as he walked me to his car while holding my hand.

  "I'm not that interesting," I said with a shrug.

  "Well, what about your family?"

  "My parents are dead and my older brother, Connor, raised me," I answered vaguely, leaving out any finer details. It always came up at some point in conversations, so I decided to get it over and done with quickly.

  "I'm sorry," he said softly. I looked at him.

  "It's okay. They've been gone for a long time," I replied. It had only been ten years, but they'd been gone for more than half of my life.

  "What happened to them?" he asked.

  I pressed my lips together. I didn't answer questions about my parents. There was no way I was going to tell him the truth so instead I decided to lie.

  "It was an accident," I said with a shrug.

  "I'm sorry," he said softly, pulling me to a stop with a gentle tug of my hand.

  "It's fine, really," I said and I gave him a reassuring smile as I looked up at him.

  "I had a nice time tonight," he said.

  "Me too."

  Caleb wasn't Sin; he didn't make me feel alive or make me hold on tight as my world spun out of control. But that excitement came with the cost of heartbreak. Caleb was the safer option. He was talkative and interesting. He was attractive, and it had been nice when he'd put his arm around me while we'd watched the movie.

  He took me home, and outside the dorm building he stood in front of me. He reached for my hand and tugged me closer. I looked up at him as I took a step closer, and he leaned forward. He was going to kiss me, and I felt a flutter of excitement. His lips touched mine gently, and he pulled away. Caleb's kisses were nice.

  "Did you have fun tonight?" he asked and I nodded my head at him.

  "I'll meet you here on Saturday and then we can go to the party," he suggested. I'd forgotten about Slater's invitation to his party.

  "That sounds good," I replied.

  This time when he pressed his lips to mine he threaded his fingers through my hair and kissed me harder. I felt the tenta
tive touch of his tongue on my lips, and I opened my mouth for him. His tongue tangled with mine, and I followed his lead as I held onto his arms. Before the kiss got too intense, he pulled away from me, a little breathless, and he smiled. I smiled back at him. He walked me to the door of the dorm and only turned to leave once I'd entered the building.

  I looked at the elevator, hating the fact that it still didn't work. After the other day when I'd got a little spooked when I'd heard the strange footsteps, I felt a shiver of apprehension every time I entered the stairwell. I climbed the stairs two by two as quickly as I could and only felt safe when I reached my dorm room. Jordan was up and waiting for details about the date.

  "So, how was it?" she asked eagerly.

  "It was nice," I replied as I sat down on my bed and took off my shoes.

  "Just nice?" she questioned.

  "What's wrong with nice?" I asked.

  "Did he at least kiss you?" was her next question.

  "Yes," I replied. It had been a nice kiss.

  "Did the earth move and did your knees go weak?" she asked expectantly. No, was the answer. I shook my head.

  "That's disappointing," she murmured.

  "It doesn't always have to feel that way, does it?" I asked her. I liked Caleb, and I wanted to see him again. It wasn't like we were dating or exclusive. I liked the fact that he didn't have heartbreak stamped all over him.

  "We bumped into Sin and Slater on the way to the movies," I revealed to her as I began to change into my pajamas.

  "And?" she asked. I had her undivided attention.

  "It was a little uncomfortable," I told her honestly. "Sin seemed a bit standoffish, but Slater invited all of us to a party at their house on Saturday."

  "Yeah, I bet he was. Nothing like him getting a taste of his own medicine. Who is ‘all of us’?" she asked as she slipped under the covers of her bed. She was already dressed in her pajamas.

  "You, Caleb and me."

  Was Jordan right? Had Sin's behavior been because he didn't like seeing me with someone else? I stopped myself from letting it play on my mind. It didn't matter. We'd had a one-night stand and as good as it had been it was never going to be anything more than that. The sooner I put it behind me, the better.

  "Can I ask you a question?" Jordan said once we were both settled into our beds, and the lights were off.

  "Sure."

  "You've been a little jumpy and high strung lately. Is everything okay?" she asked. Her question took me by surprise. She was right. I'd been on guard and nervous the past few days. I didn't want to make a big deal out of something that could just be a figment of my imagination, although I still hadn't found my missing underwear. It was like it had just vanished into thin air.

  The constant feeling that I was being watched and the mysterious footsteps in the stairwell had just added to the feeling that something wasn't right. But the problem was I couldn't prove anything. I was scared that if I told her the truth she'd make me go to the cops. And at this stage I had no concrete evidence that there was something going on.

  "I haven't been sleeping that well," I said, a little white lie. I told myself that if it escalated then I would tell her. There was no way I would allow the fear to dictate my life. I'd try and be careful, but I wasn't going to allow it to stop me from living my life.

  I saw Sin a couple of times around college later that week. It didn't help that every time I saw him I felt a jolt through my body and the inevitable flutter of butterflies. No matter what he wore, he looked good. So I was thankful that each time I'd been walking with Caleb.

  I'd briefly greeted him, and he'd returned the greeting a little stiffly. There was definitely something up with him. Then another thought struck me. Maybe it was uncomfortable to see me after having sex with me, and that was his way of keeping his distance from me. It made sense. I began to question if it was a good idea to go to the party Slater had invited us to. I shared my thought with Jordan.

  "I really want to go to the party," she said. "Just ignore him. You'll have Caleb to keep you company."

  I didn't want to keep her from going to the party. I had a feeling there was something going on between Jordan and Slater. That was another thought. If Jordan and Slater ended up together, I'd be seeing a lot more of Sin, and I had to get used to it. There was no point in trying to avoid him.

  "Okay, we'll go," I replied.

  We helped each other get ready. I decided to wear a short mini. Jordan looked stunning as usual in a pair of skinny jeans and a crop top that showed off her stomach. Caleb waited for us outside the dorm building. When I'd told him that Jordan and I planned on walking there, he'd insisted on driving us there instead.

  "Hi," I greeted him as he dropped a brief kiss on my cheek. I also needed to talk to Caleb about what was going on between us and I was hoping I'd get a chance to talk to him about it at the party. I got the distinct feeling from him that he wanted more out of it than I did. He'd called and texted me. He walked with me when I saw him at college. We hadn't exactly discussed what exactly was happening between us.

  I'd just assumed it was seeing each other but in a non-exclusive way. I didn't really want to be in a relationship with anyone at the moment. I was having fun with the dating thing and I didn't want to be restricted.

  When we pulled up outside Sin and Slater's house, I felt a little nervous as Caleb opened the car door for me and I got out the car. It was one of the things I really liked about Caleb; he was such a gentleman.

  The party was going strong, and there were a couple of people already unsteady on their feet as I entered the house behind Jordan. Caleb followed in behind me. I couldn't help scanning the crowds for Sin as we made our way to the kitchen to get drinks, but I didn't see him. We found Slater in the kitchen pouring drinks.

  "You made it," he said as he pulled me into a hug, lifting me off my feet. I hugged him back.

  "Yeah, we made it," I replied when he set me down on my feet again.

  "Hi," Jordan greeted him. I felt the nervous energy between the two of them as he smiled at her and said, "Hi."

  Was I the only one getting a hug?

  "Nice to see you came as well," Slater said to Caleb as he shook hands with him. Slater organized our drinks, and I sipped slowly on my red cup filled with whatever concoction Slater had put together.

  While Caleb and I moved into the living room, Jordan remained in the kitchen with Slater. I thought the two of them looked great together. I let my eyes drift over the dancing crowd as I took another sip of my drink. The moment my eyes connected with his, I felt a shiver of awareness.

  He was standing on the other side of the room, but this time he wasn't alone. I couldn't believe it still hurt to see him with another girl. Although his eyes were on me, he was listening intently to whatever the girl was saying. You'd think I'd be over it by now, but the truth was I wasn't. It also didn't help the way he looked at me. It was like he was undressing me with his eyes and I felt naked under his gaze.

  Suddenly the room started to feel too claustrophobic and I was finding it difficult to breathe. I needed to get some air, and I was thankful when Jordan and Slater joined us.

  "I'm going to the bathroom," I whispered to Jordan and I handed her my drink. Without another look in Sin's direction, I headed to the bathroom. Unfortunately the one downstairs was busy so I went upstairs to find another one. The bathroom was empty and I walked inside. As I turned to close the door, someone stopped me. It was Sin. He stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

  I didn't know what to say; instead, I stood there open-mouthed, waiting for him to say something. His features were unreadable as he stepped forward and closed the distance between us. I licked my lips nervously under his gaze.

  Then in the next moment his lips were crushing mine and his hands held my body against his. I could have pushed him away, but I didn't. Instead, I kissed him back.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Taylor

  His tongue slipped into my mouth
and I felt his hands grip my butt. My arms snaked around his neck as his tongue tangled with mine. The cool touch of his lip ring against my lip made me shiver. The next moment I felt him lift me off my feet and instinctively my legs wrapped around his hips. There were no thoughts and all I could concentrate on was the heat between our bodies and the feel of lips against mine.

  He set me down on the bathroom vanity as his tongue stroked mine. His hands moved to frame my face as he kissed me with a hunger that made me shiver in anticipation. I wanted to hold onto him and let him have his way with me, but a prickle at my conscience began to nag at me. The nagging got stronger and stronger until finally I couldn't ignore it anymore and I pulled my lips from his. He rested his forehead against mine as I tried to catch my breath. We were both breathless.

  "I can't," I whispered, reinforcing my conscience. I was about to go at it with Sin when Caleb was downstairs, oblivious. It was wrong.

  I was going to make sure Caleb knew that we weren't exclusive, but now I didn't think there was any point trying to date him when I clearly couldn't keep my hands off the bad-boy I'd given my virginity to. He pulled away and looked at me with a slight crease in his forehead. His still stood between my legs and his hands rested on the bathroom vanity on either side of me.

  "Why?" he asked as his gaze flickered to my lips and then back to my eyes.

  "Caleb," was my answer. His eyes darkened with anger and his jaw clenched as he took another step back. I immediately missed the warmth of his body against mine.

  "You can't deny what's between us," he stated confidently as he crossed his arms over his chest.

  "I'm not," I replied. I hopped off the counter and he took another step backward, keeping his distance from me.

  "It's just—"

  "What is it?" he said, cutting me off and sounding a little agitated. "Yeah, don't worry, I get it."

  He turned to the door and his hand reached for the handle. I reached for his wrist to stop him from leaving. He turned to face me.

  "Don't worry, I get it. You prefer the preppy, rich guys," he said angrily as he pulled his wrist free from my grasp.