Loving Bad

by Regan Ure

  " 'I know where you live, whore. You can't hide from me. You're my whore not his,' " Matthew told me and something in my gut twisted.

  You're my whore not his echoed through my mind. I stepped closer to Taylor and scanned her features. It explained her nervousness and I took her hand in mine. The thought that the crazy guy who had tried to attack her was stalking her made me angry. After everything else, she didn't deserve this. She bit on her lip nervously as she held my gaze. I wanted to make her feel better and I wanted her to know I wasn't going to let this guy get anywhere near her. I leaned closer and kissed her. I pulled back in time to see her lip tremble and I hugged her for a moment. I forgot about Matthew as I held her.

  "I'm okay," she assured me as she pulled away, but I knew she wasn't okay.

  "Are you sure?" I asked, watching her carefully. She nodded her head at me, but I could still see the fear in her eyes.

  "It's okay if you’re not," I tried to tell her. No one expected her to be brave in the situation she was in.

  "I'm fine," she insisted with determination.

  In that moment, I glimpsed the part of Taylor who had survived the horrific deaths of her parents and the downward mental spiral afterward. It was the part of her that wouldn't just lie down and let it consume her. I understood that part of her. My life hadn't been good and I also had that same part in me that part that fought for survival. We were different people with different circumstances, but we both had that survival part that had kept us going through the tougher times.

  "Are the cops any closer to catching the guy?" I asked Matthew. He shook his head.

  “No,” he revealed.

  I looked to Taylor again and felt a pang of something in my chest. I didn't want anything to happen to her.

  "Why did you come to school? Don't you think it would be safer to stay at home?" I asked softly.

  She shook her head.

  "I tried to tell her that it might be a good idea to stay at the apartment today," Matthew added.

  "I won't allow this to make me too scared to do the things that I want to," she told me.

  I understood that she didn't want what was happening to dictate her life so I tried to keep myself from bundling her up and taking her home. She'd fought to lead the normal life she was and I could see it was difficult to give that up because some crazy guy had a fixation on her.

  "Come on, I'll walk you to class," I offered as I took her hand in mine. She smiled at me as we walked to her class with Matthew still watching the surrounding crowd.

  At the doorway of her classroom, I gave her a brief kiss and watched as she entered the classroom with Matthew. There were no clues and the cops had no suspects. My eyes scanned the room, lingering for a moment on each guy in her class. I couldn't help wonder if it was someone sitting in her classroom. My eyes went to Matthew who was sitting beside her. I didn't trust a lot of people and it was hard to trust Matthew to keep her safe. Taylor had told me that he was the best that her brother could find who was young enough to pass off as a college student, but that didn't make it any easier to walk away from her classroom.

  I noticed Caleb, the preppy boy that she'd briefly dated and my eyes narrowed. He was sitting at the desk beside her on the opposite side to Matthew. I would be late for my class, but I couldn't pull myself away. Caleb leaned over to say something to Taylor and I felt a pull of possessiveness inside of me. Fisting my hands, I stopped myself from walking over to him and beating the crap out of him. She was mine. The brightening in his eyes as he talked to her told me volumes. Despite Taylor telling him she only wanted to be friends, I could see he felt more.

  I wondered if he could be the stalker.

  You're my whore not his.

  It sounded like something that someone would say because they were jealous. Was it Caleb, who clearly still had a thing for her? Was he jealous of the fact that she'd been spending time with me?

  It wasn't like we were dating or anything like that. As much as I wanted to stay there to watch Caleb around Taylor, I turned and walked away from the classroom before I did something I would regret. I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to get my thoughts together. There had to be another way to see if my suspicions for Caleb were correct. I pulled my phone out of the front pocket of my jeans. It didn't take me long to find the contact I was looking for. I dialed the number and waited for him to answer.

  "What's up?" a male's voice asked as soon as he picked up.

  "I need you to do something for me," I told the guy.

  I didn't question why I had such a need to protect Taylor. Maybe it was because I was scared to face the reason why I felt the way I did. I wanted to believe it stemmed from the fact that she'd had a hard life and I wanted to make sure nothing bad happened to her again. She'd fought hard to overcome her mental breakdown and it worried me that if something horrible happened she wouldn't be able to recover from it.

  But the truth was, even if I didn't want to admit it, I cared about her. More than I should. She'd been the first girl that I'd screwed more than once. Usually if there was any sight of any drama, I'd have been the first one to walk away, but despite Taylor's past and the whole stalker thing, I was still around. I didn't want to analyze why; instead, I was going to make it my mission to keep her safe.

  Taylor

  It had been a long and nervous day at school. I wouldn't admit it to anyone, but I'd been scared. Keeping up the brave facade had been exhausting and I was glad to be back inside the apartment where—despite the fact that the stalker had left a note on the door—I still felt safe.

  I glanced at Matthew. He was also the reason I felt safer. He never stopped scanning the crowds of students passing by us today.

  "Thanks," I said to him out of the blue.

  "What for?" he asked as he took his eyes off the TV and glanced at me.

  "For everything."

  "You're welcome. I'm just doing my job," he replied.

  I didn't know how he could do the job he did. Putting your own life on the line for someone else wasn't easy so I had the utmost respect for him and what he was trying to do for me. I made a mental note to try and do as he told me and not to be difficult.

  Jordan was still dealing with her heartbreak. She’d tried to hide her it, but I'd seen right through it. The moment we'd gotten back from college she'd disappeared into her bedroom. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't really know what to say. Maybe she needed to deal with it on her own.

  There was an unexpected knock on the door and my eyes shot to Matthew.

  "The stalker wouldn't knock," Matthew said in a teasing tone as he shook his head at me.

  He was right of course, but I couldn't help that nervous edge of fear that shot through me. He went to the door and opened it while I remained seated with my hands digging into the arms of the chair.

  "It's for you," he yelled at me.

  I hadn't been expecting anyone and as I got closer to the door, I was surprised to see Sin standing outside the front door waiting for me. I smiled at him and he smiled back at me as our eyes met. It was a nice surprise and my nervousness evaporated.

  "Hi," he said as I invited him in.

  "Hi," I greeted back, feeling so happy to see him.

  Matthew was seated in front of the TV again, flicking through the channels and he turned to watch us. It was like having an older brother around and he was making it a little awkward for me so I reached for Sin's hand and led him to my room. I heard Matthew laugh as I closed the door.

  "Sorry about that—the disadvantages to having a bodyguard," I joked as my eyes met his.

  "The advantages are he won’t let anything happen to you," Sin shot back, but there was no teasing in his face.

  He was right—Matthew was all I had standing in the way of some crazy stalker trying to get me. I had no idea what the stalker would do to me if he got me and it scared me.

  Sin's gaze caressed my face as he stepped closer and I held my breath. I could feel my skin tingle under his intense gaze as
he leaned closer and I felt his warm breath on my face. My hands reached up and I put them against his chest as his lips lightly touched mine. No matter how many times he touched me, it always felt like the first time and I felt the rush of desire to be as close to him as humanly possible.

  His tongue stroked my bottom lip gently and I opened my lips. His tongue pushed into my mouth as my hands crept up and wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. I needed more. What started out soft and gentle grew more fierce and insistent as his hands pulled me closer, closing the slight gap between us.

  He broke the kiss, his chest rising and falling rapidly as his gaze held mine. I couldn't pull my eyes from his as my fingers touched my bruised lips. I wasn't sure why he stopped so abruptly, but before I could ask him, he reached for me again and pushed me firmly against the wall as his mouth slammed against mine. I didn't think; all I wanted to do was feel what he was doing to me.

  He lifted the hem of my shirt and pulled his lips from mine long enough to get my top off. It was a good thing I was wearing a skirt because I felt his fingers reach underneath it, hitching it up as he pulled my panties off. He reached for a condom in the back pocket of his jeans and tore the foil packet open with his teeth. He unbuttoned his jeans and let them drop. Once the protection was on, his mouth was on mine again as I felt him press up against me.

  This time the sex was different. The last time we'd been together it had been soft and gentle, but this time it was nothing like that. He turned me to face the wall and I put my hands against the wall to steady myself. His hand reached for my breasts that were still covered by my bra and pulled the bra down. I felt his fingers tweak my nipples as he pushed into me and my breath hitched as he began to move inside of me.

  I moaned and placed my hands against the wall, trying to steady myself as he began to move inside of me. At first he moved slowly, but as he began to push into me with more force, it became more difficult to take. His hands were holding onto my hips so hard I was sure they would leave bruises, just so he could penetrate me deeper. I gasped as he reached a new angle and began to pant as he worked me closer to my release.

  I felt the graze of his teeth against my shoulder and I closed my eyes and savored it. Just when I didn't think I could take any more new sensations, I felt his fingers move to the front and begin to stroke the front of my core. Moments later, I felt my whole body tense and then I exploded. The orgasm pulsed through me as I felt him push into me harder, trying to find his own release. His body tensed and he groaned against my neck as he came inside of me.

  For a few moments, we stayed that way—me leaning against the wall and him breathing hard against my neck, still inside of me. He pulled out of me and pulled up his jeans. I turned and leaned against the wall as I pulled my skirt down. Sin went into my bathroom and came back out after a few minutes. I'd put my panties and top back on. I was just running a hand through my hair when Sin looked at me.

  There was something going on in his mind and I wished I knew what it was. The sex had been great—don't get me wrong—but it was like he was trying to prove something to himself. It was like he was trying to make it all about sex and nothing else. I swallowed hard as I held his gaze, feeling vulnerable.

  "I'm sorry if I was a little rough," he apologized as he ran a hand through his hair, making it untidy and disheveled, which just made him sexier.

  "You weren't," I said with a shrug.

  I loved this guy even though there was no guarantee that this, whatever it was, would last. He didn't date and I didn't know how long I could do this without wanting more. Eventually it would come to a head and then it would fall apart.

  I sat down on my bed and Sin sat beside me. I loved being so close to him. A calmness that eluded me when I wasn't with him settled over me as he took my hand into his and gave it a squeeze. We started to talk about anything that wasn't related to the stalker. I wondered if it was his way of taking my mind off it. We were both lying down on my bed, talking, when I realized I needed to go to the bathroom. I went to the bathroom and closed the door.

  "Have you got any headache tablets?" I heard Sin ask through the door.

  "Yeah, in the drawer by my bed," I answered. Once I finished up, I walked into my room.

  Oh. My. God.

  Sin was sitting on my bed next to my side table. The small drawer was open and in his hands was the folder that my brother had given me. His face was tense as he paged through the folder and I felt my heart sink as dread crept into the pit of my stomach.

  "I can explain," I said nervously as I walked over to him, but he closed the folder and stood up.

  He refused to look at me as his lips pressed together and I watched his jaw tighten. He was trying to rein in his temper. He had every right to be upset, but I could explain everything.

  "I don't think you can explain this," he said in a level voice that was waiting to explode. "I think it speaks for itself, doesn't it?"

  His eyes lifted to mine. And the look he gave me made me flinch and take a step backward. My heart sank at the hatred in his eyes.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Taylor

  "You need to let me explain," I began to plead with him. I stood between him and his only means of escape. I had to explain before he left. He shook his head at me and I felt the fear of losing him spark inside of me and start to engulf me.

  "I don't have to do anything for you," he said angrily as he glared at me.

  He'd never used this tone with me before and I was momentarily stunned. He didn't have all the facts so he had every right to be angry, but the least he could do was let me explain. In just seconds he'd gone from caring to hating me and I was still trying to catch up to the mess I was in.

  "I didn't read it," I tried to explain, but I could see him close himself off from me. He'd already made up his mind and there was no amount of explaining that was going to change it. I was wasting my time.

  "Connor gave it to me, but I never read it," I insisted, my eyes pleading with his. He had to believe me.

  "Why?" he asked, looking at me suspiciously.

  "I told you he was overprotective. This is him taking the over protectiveness a step too far," I tried to reason with him.

  "Yeah, I get it. One look at me and he knew I was no good," he said and my heart squeezed.

  "You are good—"

  "I trusted you," he admitted, letting his gaze fall to the floor as he cut me off. He couldn't even look at me. "I opened up to you and told you things I don’t tell a lot of people."

  The tone of his voice changed. He sounded hoarse and emotional. The normal confident and strong Sin was gone and in his place was a vulnerable boy who'd spent most of his life unloved. It pulled directly at the strings to my heart and I stepped forward to comfort him, but he took a step back, putting himself out of my reach. He couldn't stand the sight of me and he didn't want me to touch him. It was a hard blow. I wrapped my arms around my waist to keep myself from reaching for him. His eyes shot to mine and the anger was back, and so was the hardened Sin with the protective shell.

  "If you wanted to know so badly, all you had to do was ask," he added. "If you'd asked...I would have told you."

  His voice broke slightly on the last sentence and I bit down on my lip as I felt the sting of tears. I was losing him—I could feel it.

  "There are a lot of things I've done that I'm not proud of," he said as he ran a hand through his hair. "I did them for survival."

  I swallowed hard, wanting to hold him and tell him I didn't care what he'd done. From the little he'd told me about his childhood, I'd understood that he hadn't been brought up the way I had been and I wasn't going to judge him on what he'd had to do to survive the childhood he'd been stuck in.

  He hadn't judged me and I wouldn't judge him. The horror of my parents' murder had sent me straight into a white, padded room and that would have sent most guys running in the opposite direction, but Sin had stayed.

  "After I found out about your past, I didn't want you
to find out about some of the stuff from my past. I was scared about how you would handle it."

  I fought the emotional torrent that wanted to break free from me as his eyes held mine. What could he have done that make him scared of how I'd handle it? My curiosity was piqued. Although he was still angry, his eyes held a little sadness that made me feel guilty just for having the folder in my drawer.

  "But it doesn't matter anymore."

  It was the tone and how he looked at me that made my heart crack because I knew what was coming. To him, I didn't matter anymore. There was no way to stop it—all I could do was stand there with what little self-respect I had. Somewhere deep down inside, I hoped that he just needed some time to cool off. I'd reacted the same when I'd discovered he'd uncovered my past and it had taken a few days for me to be able to talk to him again. He needed time.

  "We're done," he stated in a defeated tone.

  I could beg and plead, but it wouldn't change his mind. I stood still as he stepped past me and opened my bedroom door. My eyes watered and I felt the first sob escape me as I pressed my hand to my mouth when the front door slammed closed.

  "What happened?" Matthew asked from the doorway of my bedroom moments later, looking confused.

  I tried to take a breath, but another sob tore from me. Worry etched Matthew's features as he walked to me and pulled me into a hug. The emotion I'd bottled up began to break free and I closed my eyes and cried.

  He held me as I released all my heartache in the tears that streamed down my face and wet his shirt.

  "It will be okay," he soothed as he held me.

  He was saying it to make me feel better because there was no way he could know that for sure. I wanted to hope that there was still a chance that it could be fixed, but I was scared to face up to the fact that it was unfixable.

  The pain in my chest was hard to comprehend.

  He just needs some time, I kept repeating to myself to keep it together. If I thought for one moment that this was truly the end, I didn't think I could cope. Going back to the dark place I'd fought so hard to break free from wasn't an option; I had to keep a handle on things. I'd been so driven to experience all life had to offer, but this pain and the hollowness inside me was unbearable.