Starry Eyed Inside

by Rochelle Allison

  “You can probably stay too," Niki reassured her. "My mom won't mind. Javier usually goes to these things anyway so I'll just get him to vouch for us.”

  "8:00," Brian yelled suddenly, passing by in his brother's ride. "Be waiting outside.”

  Meanwhile, I’d been alternating between pretending to listen and trying to keep an eye on the goings-on across the parking lot. Skyler was sitting sideways in the driver's seat now, legs sprawled out the open door, talking to Kai. If he'd just look at me, I'd be set. Or...maybe I'd have a heart attack.

  "...so that's perfect," Niki was saying. "Now, I don't even have to ask my brother for a ride. Good.”

  "Why are you so quiet? Still pining away for Skyler?" teased Teigan, jabbing me in the ribs.

  "Can't help it." I sighed wistfully. “I have never, ever seen anyone that cute.”

  "Well, maybe he'll be at the bonfire later,” Leyla said softly.

  I perked up; that hadn't even occurred to me. "You think so?”

  Teigan blew a bubble. "Maybe. If Brian's brother and all his friends are going, maybe Kai Fox and his friends are going.”

  Niki's mother rolled up on cue, honking twice to get our attention. As if we couldn't see her coming in her ginormous 1986 Caprice Classic.

  "Ugh, why did I eat all that flan," I groaned, sucking in my stomach as I zipped my jeans.

  "No, nena, you needed it," Luz Peña protested, lingering in Niki's doorway. "You're all too skinny.”

  "No one's too skinny, Mom," Niki muttered, smoothing her long, dark curls. She often wore her hair back, in a bun or a ponytail, but I loved seeing it down. “And stop hovering.”

  “Do not be rude, Niki," Luz snapped. They went back and forth like this all day. "Aurora, are you sure you had enough?”

  “Yeah, I'm good.” I gave her a smile. “Thanks, Luz.”

  Niki whipped out a tube of mascara and proceeded to do her eyes. She'd always been a natural with hair and makeup. I poked her. “Do mine?”

  “Sure.” She rooted around her makeup bag, holding up eyeliner and what looked like bronze eye shadow. “This'll definitely make that hazel pop.”

  I squinted my questionably hazel eyes. “They're like, brown.”

  “Light brown,” she said, attacking me with her applicator. “With gold undertones; I'd kill for your eyes. Keep still.”

  We were still perfecting our not-trying-too-hard looks when someone blew their horn right outside. Teigan peeked out the blinds. "Brian and his brother.”

  "I totally told him to call when he was on his way!" Niki whined, hurrying into her flip flops.

  Eyeing my phone, I grabbed my purse off the bed. "We did agree on eight.”

  "Not too late," Luz Peña warned as we left. "No drinking. No drugs!”

  “Yes, mama.” Niki pulled the door shut, locking it.

  "What's the curfew this year?" I asked, practically vibrating with anticipation. We were like little birds, set free from our cages.

  “Midnight.”

  “Nice!” This was a definite upgrade from 10:00 pm last year. High school certainly had its privileges.

  The door opened, and Luz poked her head out. "And no boys."

  Brody Beck drove a Suburban, which was good because he always had a ride full of people. His girlfriend sat up front next to him while the three of us squeezed into the back with Brian and this kid Adam. Brody used his fake ID to acquire a couple of twelve packs from the liquor store, and then we were off, headed across the bridge to Hutchinson Island.

  The bonfire was at an isolated little beach off in the cut. I'd grown up going to most of these beaches, but I didn't think I'd ever seen this one. About eight or nine other cars were already parked in the lot. I didn't see Skyler's car or even the black Jeep, but whatever. It was exciting enough just to be out of the house.

  We climbed out and waited for the boys to grab the beer, then walked single file through the path leading to the sand.

  Someone had brought a radio, and music—rap, reggae—spilled out, soft, because the wind kept catching it and diffusing it down the beach. The bonfire was small, but there were a lot of kids around it, the soft roar of their collective voices rising above the crush of the waves. Leyla and Janelle jogged over the second we stepped out, their flip flops kicking up little sprays of sand.

  We stood in a little circle, comparing notes on who was already there and who was supposed to come. The wind kept blowing my hair, making it stick to my lip gloss.

  Brody let us have some of his beer, and then he wandered off, leaving us to our own devices. We ended up with Brian and Adam near the fire, playing thumb war and acting stupid. After a while, someone started chanting; the keg had arrived, apparently. Not for the first time, I was grateful the beach was isolated. I shuddered, imagining my father somehow finding out and breaking up the party. I'd be grounded until college.

  Niki's brother Javier came with his friends, rolling his eyes at us as he walked by. I resisted the urge to tell him to just get used it; this was our scene now, too. I hoped so, anyway.

  There weren't too many freshmen, but there were a lot of older looking kids, some of whom I recognized from my school. There were a lot of unfamiliar faces, too, and every time someone with loud bass pulled up outside, I tensed.

  Brian was trying to convince me to do a keg stand—hell no—when Niki suddenly pinched my arm. "Look!"

  Immediate butterflies. A bunch of boys, including Skyler and Kai, had just walked onto the beach. I tried to chill out and focus on the people around me, but it wasn't working. I was on Skyler frequency now. Great.

  After a while, I gave up and got to my feet. Brushing the sand from my behind, I looked down at Teigan. “Come with me for another beer?”

  We picked through the sand, heading for the collection of coolers. Voices floated over from the shadows—Skyler was chatting up some girl nearby. I looked at Teigan, making a face, and she snorted. Ducking down to grab the beers, we pried the caps with an opener hanging off the handle of the cooler.

  Frankly, I wasn't surprised. Guys like Skyler Nolan were never alone. That would be a waste, and God knows I didn't have the cojones to talk to him. I chugged half my beer on the way back to our friends.

  "So I guess you're not going to talk to him," Teigan said, sinking back to the sand. “Ever.”

  I sat beside her, peeling the label off my bottle. "That's right.”

  Janelle poked her head in, looking back and forth between us. “What's right?”

  "Rory's not going to get over herself and talk to Skyler." Teigan jerked her thumb in the direction of the coolers.

  “Rory's not going to talk to Skyler because he’s already talking to some girl.” I wiped at the sand clinging to my bottle’s condensation. “And because it would be social suicide.”

  Leyla smiled sympathetically as I flopped back on the blanket she’d brought.

  "Ugh, you're going to have so much sand in your hair," Niki complained, trying to yank me back to a sitting position. "It's gonna be all over my bed.”

  "That's okay.” I sighed, welcoming my happy beer buzz with open arms.

  A minute later, Niki placed someone’s hoodie underneath my head. I stretched my legs out, gazing up at the cloudless night sky. Scanning the stars, I searched for any constellations I might recognize: Big Dipper, Little Dipper, Skyler Nolan's face… Wait, what? Panic! Confusion. What kind of beer did Brody buy? I blinked twice, but no—Skyler was really standing there, stormy eyes pinning me as I stared helplessly back.

  “Aurora?"

  He knows my name?

  "Yes?" Realizing how ridiculous I looked, I sat up, feigning normalcy as I shook sand from my hair.

  "Can I talk to you for a second?”

  I looked at the girls—no help there—and scrambled to my feet, wondering what he could possibly have to say to me. Maybe he remembered me from Teigan's party?

  We walked along silently until we got to the intoxication station. My mind raced and my heart galloped along
and my mouth felt dry, despite all the imbibing I’d just done. Ugh, the beer. It was making me feel sloshy and a little tipsy. I definitely needed to wait a while before having another one.

  Skyler reached into a cooler, handing me a beer. I took it, obviously.

  He opened his and handed it to me, switching them out. "So, listen. A friend of mine likes you."

  I stared back dumbly. "A friend?”

  “Yeah, Kai?”

  “Kai?”

  Skyler nodded slowly. “Kai…he goes to your school.”

  "I know who he is, but I don't, like, know him," I said, averting my eyes lest I get burned by his hotness.

  "I know. That's why I'm letting you know." He took a sip of beer, and I swear his eyes were smirking at me as he tilted back his bottle.

  I wondered, for the umpteenth time, if he knew I was crushing on him. And if he knew, he was crushing me right now with this Kai talk.

  "Oh. Well...no." I started peeling my label again.

  “No, what?”

  "No, I'm not interested." I couldn't look at him. I'd get distracted by his face.

  "Seriously?" He sounded surprised.

  I took a deep breath and looked up, finally. "Seriously. But, um, thanks.” I shifted onto my other foot, turning to make my exit.

  "You know what they say," he began, and there was such mirth in his voice, I paused.

  I glanced back at him. "About what?”

  "About peeling the labels," he continued.

  I lowered my eyes and yes, I had indeed peeled the whole thing off. "No. What do they say?"

  "It's a sign of sexual frustration.” He grinned widely, holding up his beer. His label was still intact, so, you know. My mouth dropped open, and he started laughing, knocking my arm playfully. "I'm just teasing. They do say that though.”

  I didn’t know who “they” were, but my insides turned to goo the second his hand made contact with my skin. Glad I wore something strappy (because holy crap I could still feel his touch), I smiled, trying not to look as loopy as I felt. "Okay well...if you're done teasing me, I'm going to head back.”

  "Aw, come on now.”

  I shook my head, turning back toward the bonfire, my label-less beer clasped between my hands.

  "So, will you give my boy a chance?" he asked, falling into step with me.

  “I don’t know,” I said, but I did know. Kai was cute, but I wasn’t interested.

  “But—”

  "I like someone else." I cringed as soon as soon as the words left my mouth. Whoops.

  "Oh yeah?”

  Up ahead, my friends were trying very hard to appear as if they weren't totally checking us out. And then Skyler was gone, poof into the night like Keyser frigging Soze. I shook my head and started back across the sand to the girls. The music had changed now, something acoustic and yearning. It sounded like I felt.

  "What did he say?" Teigan hissed, nearly knocking my knees out in an effort to get me back onto the sand. Niki, Leyla and Janelle crowded into the huddle.

  "He was putting in a good word for Kai," I confided, rolling my eyes.

  “Kai Fox?" Leyla repeated in disbelief.

  “Yep."

  Teigan gestured impatiently. "So what did you say?”

  "That I wasn't interested. And then he asked why and I said because I liked someone else." I tried not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

  Niki hit my arm. "And what did he say?”

  "Let me start from the beginning.”

  We were in the cafeteria on Monday, at our usual lunch table, when Niki jabbed me with her fork.

  "Uh, thanks," I mumbled, picking a grain of her rice from my shirt before returning to my journal. Last Friday’s beer label was pasted into it, alongside a meticulous description of my conversation with Skyler Nolan.

  "Kai Fox is coming over here," she said under her breath.

  Oh crap. I slammed the journal shut.

  Forcing a smile, I looked up right as Kai came to a stop. All warm dark eyes and golden brown skin, I thought again that it should be easy to be attracted. But I wasn't.

  "Hey, Rory.” He smiled, flashing a dimple.

  No doubt about it; Kai was hot stuff. Why couldn’t I just like him, instead?

  "Hey, Kai.”

  He nodded toward our table, and I pushed my bag to the floor. Grabbing the chair, he spun it around and dropped into it, facing me.

  "You going to the track meet later?" he asked.

  "Yeah, maybe. If I can get a ride home." As usual, my words slipped out unheeded, and I instantly wished them back. Great—he was so going to offer me a ride home now.

  He nodded. ”I can give you a ride.”

  I paused, glancing over his shoulder. Niki and Teigan were listening in behind Kai, nodding emphatically.

  "Um, okay. I just have to call my mom.”

  "Cool." He shot me a brilliant smile and eased out of the chair, returning to where his friends sat.

  Niki scooted closer. "He's cute, Rory.”

  "Yeah, he is and he seems really sweet. I don't want to give him the wrong idea," I lamented. "Why did he even ask me? Didn't Skyler tell him I wasn't interested?”

  “Okay, okay, drama queen,” Teigan snapped, rolling her eyes. “You agreed to stay for something we're all going to anyway, and you're getting a ride. That's it. Besides…."

  "Besides, what?”

  She studied her nails. "He's one of Skyler's friends, right? Maybe this is just what you need to get a foot in the door.”

  "I can't do that, Teig. That would be so, so shady. And—”

  “No, it wouldn’t.”

  “And, even if he wanted to, which he obviously doesn’t,” I said, shaking my head, “Skyler isn't going to go after a girl his friend likes.”

  Teigan stood up, crumpling her brown paper bag into a ball before tossing it into a nearby recycling bin. "You never know. Anyway. Go call your mom before you forget.”

  Final bell found me by my locker, where I'd stopped to grab a few books I needed for homework.

  Leyla’s locker was close to mine, and she joined me.

  I tugged her braid. She'd been growing out her silky, black hair since seventh grade and now it hung to her butt. Lucky duck. Mom kept making me trim mine, complaining about split ends. Any progress I'd made over the summer had been hacked off, and now my hair barely hit my shoulders.

  "Were you in the art room just now?” I asked.

  Leyla smiled, rubbing her hands down her jeans. "I'm covered in charcoal again, huh?”

  I smirked, wiping a smudge from her cheek. We meandered down the hall and outside toward the field, where Teigan and Niki were already on the stands. Leyla actually had to take pictures of the game for yearbook, but the rest of us were just there to ogle.

  Coincidentally, the first meet of the season was against Martin County.

  "Doesn't Skyler run for Martin County?" Teigan asked, already knowing the answer.

  I searched my backpack for gum. “Does he?”

  Niki leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder. "Isn't that him right there?”

  “Hmm."

  Kai was over there, too. He looked over, waving.

  My face warmed a bit, and I waved back.

  Teigan snorted, clapping her hand on my thigh. “This is classic. I think he really likes you.”

  "It's just wonderful," I muttered. Seriously, what were the chances?

  “Oh, come on…”

  “You don’t find it a little ironic?”

  “Of course I do. Let’s just hope Skyler doesn't have any qualms about it.”

  "Ugh, will you stop? He is never going to look at me like that.”

  "Then why is he looking at you right now?" Niki asked.

  I nearly broke my neck, I looked up so quick. It was true; Skyler kept glancing over Kai's shoulder at us as they talked. And then Kai looked back.

  "I don't even want to know what they're talking about right now." I groaned.

  "Shut u
p, this is good. A few months ago, we weren't even on their radar," Teigan said.

  A whistle blew, and the runners got into position. Kai sneaked one more glance in my direction before trotting over to his group. I’d never really followed cross country, so I didn’t know what to expect. A lot of the race took place in parts of the course that were in the woods and impossible to see from the stands.

  Jensen Beach won by a slim margin, which was cool. Our track and cross country teams were good, but Martin County's were often better. The boys lined up to shake hands as the bleachers began to empty. Teigan, Niki and I made our way to the parking lot to wait for our rides.

  Typically Floridian, the weather was warm and muggy. I fanned myself with a folder from my backpack, hoping Kai would show up before the mosquitoes came out.

  Javier pulled up in their mom’s big old beast of a car. We called it the Love Boat. Niki kissed my cheek. “Call me as soon as you get home,” she whispered. She and Teigan climbed into the backseat, making kissy faces as Kai joined me.

  "You ready to go?” he asked.

  "Sure." I felt sort of shy all of a sudden. “So, I didn’t realize you were such a good runner.”

  “Thanks.” He unlocked his doors. “It was close today.”

  I nodded, not really having anything else to say.

  Skyler sauntered over, opening the trunk of his car by remote and tossing his stuff in. "Enjoy the meet, Aurora?”

  "Well, yeah. We won it," I snarked.

  He looked at me, all raised eyebrows and cocky grin.

  "She makes a good point." Kai laughed. "You going to Audrey's later?”

  "Yeah, probably with Rocco.”

  Kai nodded, motioning for me to get into the car.

  I got in somewhat reluctantly, anxious to get away from Skyler but also sort of wishing it was his passenger seat I was getting into. Kai threw his car into reverse, all the while fiddling with the car's stereo. I had to admit it was a really nice ride, some sort of souped-up SUV. His father owned a dealership in Ft. Pierce so it wasn't all that surprising.

  We chatted easily all the way home, our conversation punctuated by frequent laughter. Kai had a razor-sharp sense of humor, and I found myself hoping we could be real friends. I enjoyed his company. Just not, like, in that way.