Taking a Knee

by Sean Ashcroft

  Jace laughed at that. Noah liked being able to make Jace laugh. He could be content with that, he told himself. It was enough.

  They both fell silent after, focusing on breakfast. Noah was starving, and he assumed Jace would be, too. On the days after a game, his stomach felt like a bottomless pit. He knew that was because of all the extra energy he’d used playing, but it still amazed him every time. Normally, he’d have a light breakfast and not eat again until the evening, with only coffee in-between to sustain him. After a game, he’d finish one snack and start on preparing another pretty much immediately.

  He wondered if Jace was the same. It stood to reason that he would be, especially considering he was a bigger guy than Noah was. Although, he ate well most of the time, so perhaps he’d be more balanced about it.

  “I’ll get you some cream for that bruise,” Jace said once he was finished eating, pushing his chair away from the table.

  The fact that there was cream for bruises was news to Noah, but he didn’t argue. Anything that made him feel less like there was a ton weight sitting in the middle of his chest was worth a shot.

  “I promise to be gentle, or you can put this on yourself, if you want.” Jace returned with a plain white tube in hand. Noah had seen it in the bathroom cabinet, but not really registered what it was. It was obvious that Jace was a nurse based on the sheer number of things he kept in there, most of which Noah wasn’t clear on the purpose of.

  “You’re the trained medical professional.” Noah sat back in his chair. “I trust you.”

  Besides, any excuse to get Jace to touch him was a good one, as far as Noah was concerned. Maybe he was unnecessarily torturing himself, but he liked having contact with Jace. It couldn’t hurt to indulge now and then.

  Noah gasped at the coldness of the cream, but not at the pressure Jace was putting on the bruise. He was surprised by how gentle Jace was capable of being, though he shouldn’t have been. Being a nurse implied he was a very gentle man, and Noah knew that off the track, Jace wouldn’t have hurt anyone for the world.

  He was a fundamentally good person. That was why Noah loved him. Anyone who got to know Jace would have.

  “What is this?” Noah asked. He didn’t really care what was in the cream, but he wanted to hear Jace’s voice. He liked the idea of Jace tending to him, taking care of him.

  Perhaps it was childish, but Noah couldn’t bring himself to care. He wasn’t exactly starved for affection, but it had been a while since he’d had anything more in-depth than a hookup, and yeah, maybe he wanted to be touched. By Jace.

  “Arnica and vitamin K. I dunno if the vitamin K helps in a cream, but arnica definitely does.”

  “I’ll take any help I can get,” Noah said. “Thank you for doing this for me.”

  “No problem.” Jace wet his lips. “And if this doesn’t do it, I’ll bring you home a couple of leeches.”

  Noah wrinkled his nose. “This isn’t the dark ages.”

  Jace laughed. “It’s not, but leeches totally work. We still use them for post-surgery swelling sometimes. A bruise is just a bunch of blood in one place, and leeches drain the blood. It’s science.”

  “Right. And bunch of blood in one place is the technical term?” Noah raised an eyebrow.

  “The technical term is contusion. But I’m used to explaining stuff to kids, so…” Jace shrugged. “You get the kids version. Sorry.”

  “I don’t want you to apologize. It’s actually really cute. You’re gonna make a great dad one day.”

  “Yeah, maybe.” Jace screwed the cap back on the cream. “I would like to be a dad. I just gotta find someone who’d also like me to be a dad, with them.”

  “Literally anyone would be lucky to have you, Jace,” Noah said. “You are the kindest, sweetest man I’ve ever known. And you’re a badass. And you take care of people for a living. And you have a great ass.” Noah grinned at him, hoping Jace wouldn’t take the compliment the wrong way. Or the right way, depending on what right and wrong were, here. “You’re basically perfect.”

  Jace blushed darkly, playing with the tube of cream and looking down at the floor. “If you say so.”

  He scurried off to the bathroom, and Noah wondered if he’d been a little too liberal with praise for Jace’s comfort. The last thing he wanted was for Jace to realize how deeply Noah cared about him, how attractive he found him.

  Or rather, Noah didn’t mind if Jace knew. He was just afraid it would make him uncomfortable, and put a strain on their relationship.

  Noah went to put a t-shirt on and grabbed his laptop so he could poke at some work while he sat on the couch. Running his own business, as it turned out, required a lot more effort than turning up to work somewhere else. It was way more rewarding, though, and Noah couldn’t remember being happier than he was right now.

  If only Jace was actually interested in him, everything would have been perfect.

  Chapter Fourteen

  There was something indescribably soothing about heading to the locker room after practice. At least, there always had been to Jace. The sound of his teammates laughing and joking with each other, the chance to shower off the sweat and ease muscle aches, the feeling of being clean and refreshed after a good workout.

  He walked out of the showers wrapped in a towel, and headed for where he’d stashed his clothes before training. He’d been called in to work on Thursday morning—just this once, he’d been promised, and he could have first pick of Christmas vacation days if he did it—so he and Noah were going to grab a bite to eat on the way home and go to bed early like good little boys.

  At least, Jace was going to go to bed early. Noah was kind of a night owl, especially now that he didn’t have to get up for work in the morning. That suited Jace fine, with his weird hours. Noah could work while he wasn’t there, and hang out while he was. It was the perfect arrangement.

  It took Jace a second to register what he was seeing. Rafe hadn’t come to shower with the rest of them. Instead, he was sitting on the bench, fiddling with a pair of skates.

  Familiar skates. Not Rafe’s skates.

  Noah’s skates. Noah’s bright yellow, old fashioned, really distinctive skates.

  He was loosening the nut that held the left front wheel on. Jace could see the wrench he was using from where he was standing, glinting under the fluorescent lights of the locker room.

  If that came off in the middle of the game—which was the next time Noah would be wearing them—it could cause serious havoc.

  “Hey,” Jace said. “Did Noah ask you to do that?” He nodded to the skates, though Rafe hadn’t turned to look at him yet.

  Jace knew for a fact that Noah wouldn’t have let anyone else touch his skates, let alone modify them. Even Jace himself wouldn’t have touched Noah’s skates, and they were supposed to be married.

  Rafe turned, going pale when he saw Jace. “I was just checking them out, man. Thinking about a new pair. No harm meant.”

  “Checking them out with a wrench?” Jace raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think so.”

  The wrench had vanished, but Jace was sure it was in one of Rafe’s pockets. Not that it mattered. They both knew what he’d seen.

  There was a tense pause, and then Rafe bolted. Not fast enough, though. Jace leapt over the bench he’d been sitting on and rammed him against the wall, pinning him in place one-handed.

  “What the fuck, dude? First you throw Noah into me and get us both knocked over, then you hit him in the chest last game—and I don’t think that was an accident anymore. Not now. Not when I just saw you tampering with his skates.”

  Jace could hear some of the other guys coming out of the showers, hanging back. On the one hand, it was good to have witnesses.

  On the other hand, Rafe had been trying to hurt Noah. Jace might have been tempted to do him some permanent damage if no one had been watching. He wasn’t sure whether he was glad he’d been stopped, or disappointed.

  “Is that true?” Noah asked from behind him.r />
  Rafe looked away. It wasn’t quite a confession, but it was enough. More than enough for Jace, anyway.

  “Jesus, why? What did I do to you?” Noah asked. “I thought we were friends.”

  Rafe swallowed. “Why this asshole, huh?” He gestured to Jace. “Why not me? Why was it never me? I have worshipped you from day one and you’ve been making doe eyes at Mr. Straighter-than-straight here since forever. I overheard you planning to marry him for your green card. Why do that when you could have had me?”

  Jace’s stomach bottomed out. Rafe had heard them. What if he got it into his head to make a fuss about it to immigration? How could they prove they were married for all the right reasons?

  How could anyone prove that, if it came down to it?

  “I love Jace,” Noah said. “I’ve loved him for so long, and I understand your pain, I really, really do, because he only just saw me. But I never tried to hurt him to make it happen, and I can’t believe you tried to hurt me.”

  Before any of them could say anything else, Diego stepped in. He’d always had the position of Team Dad. He moved Jace away from Rafe gently, putting himself between them.

  “That’s a very serious allegation, Rafe,” he said. “Marriage fraud is a federal offence, and the immigration department doesn’t take kindly to it. You sure you didn’t mishear?”

  Rafe swallowed. In general, people didn’t stand up to Diego. They laid down and let him walk over them, because it was much, much better than the alternative, where he went through them.

  Diego had been a cop once upon a time. A cop in Baltimore. His balls were made of brass, no question.

  Noah cleared his throat. “Rafe heard right, but he didn’t realize it was a joke. Jace and I got married a little quicker than I would have liked for immigration reasons, but it’s a real marriage. I really love him. I have done for a long time. We kept it quiet from you guys because we didn’t want you to treat us any different.”

  Jace could hardly believe how well Noah was handling the situation. He was still in shock.

  “Well, that’s that cleared up,” Diego said, in a tone that didn’t leave any room for argument. “If I were you, Rafe, I’d get the hell out before Noah decides that he’s calling the cops. Sabotaging a guy’s skates could be considered a serious crime. Especially if a room full of people told them it was serious.”

  That sounded like bluffing, but Rafe was clearly too scared to notice. He nodded, eyes wide, and squeezed past Diego to grab his bag and run.

  “Good riddance,” Diego shouted after him. “I never liked that guy,” he turned his attention back to Jace. “Shifty, y’know? You know the look. The guys who’d shoot their granny for a nickel if they thought they could get away with it.”

  Jace blinked. “I’ll… take your word for it. Thanks, man. Thanks for stopping me from doing anything stupid.”

  Diego grinned at him, dropping the bad cop act as though he’d never done it. Jace couldn’t help but respect his ability to scare the crap out of people.

  “Anytime. You guys do enough stupid shit anyway. And Jace? I’m not saying that what Rafe said was true, but if, say, there was any possible doubt that you and Noah were the real thing? You might wanna start gathering evidence that you are. Pictures are real good for that.”

  Jace nodded. “Understood.”

  Diego knew. The rest of the team probably didn’t know either Jace or Noah well enough to form an intelligent opinion, but some of them would have believed Rafe. And some of them would have taken him to be the jealous asshole he clearly was.

  That put them in an awkward position, and one they’d eventually have to address. Sooner rather than later, probably.

  Jace finally went to his locker to get dressed. He heard Noah follow him.

  Noah had said he loved Jace twice. Even though he knew Noah had only said it to defuse the situation, he was still processing how it felt to hear. How much he’d liked hearing it.

  It was natural to want to be loved. Maybe that was all there was to it, but it felt like more. It felt important for reasons Jace couldn’t put his finger on.

  “Thank you for standing up for me,” Noah said. “I’m really glad you caught him, or I could’ve… broken my neck or something.”

  “Did you know he had a thing for you?” Jace asked. It didn’t really matter, but he was curious all the same.

  Noah shook his head. “No, I had no idea. I didn’t even know he was interested in men. I didn’t know much about him at all, but we worked well together.”

  “Yeah, which screws us up for the bout this weekend. No one else even comes close to being as good a pivot as Rafe was, I’ll give him that.”

  Noah wet his lips. “I might know a guy,” he said. “Someone I’m fairly confident I can work with.”

  “Who?” Jace raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t been aware that Noah knew anyone who did roller derby outside of the team, but then he didn’t exactly know every detail of Noah’s life, either.

  “My ex. He was actually the reason I took up roller derby. I met him at a game he was playing in and quickly realized that derby boys were really hot. We kind of… drifted apart and mutually broke up, but I was hooked by then. He only lives a town over, and he owes me one. I’ll talk to Coach about it before we go.”

  Noah patted Jace’s shoulder and then stepped away to open his own locker. For the first time in his life, Jace took the opportunity to take a peek at Noah while he was changing. He was facing away, so Jace only got a view of his ass. He knew enough about asses to know it was nice, but looked away again before he could really study it.

  Diego was right about getting some kind of proof. Photos of them being cute together, maybe a couple where they were kissing. It’d be a good excuse to kiss Noah again. Just in case Rafe got the idea of actually reporting them.

  He’d talk to Noah about it sometime. Not now, while they were both still in shock.

  “I can’t believe someone would actually harbor a secret thing for me like that,” Noah said suddenly. Jace had thought the subject was closed, but apparently not. “I can’t imagine what he saw in me or why he thought he needed to keep it a secret. The worst possible case scenario was me saying no.”

  “Some people don’t take rejection well. He was waiting for you to decide you wanted him.” Jace shrugs. “I get that part. You’re smart, accomplished, and attractive. It’d be scary to ask you out. The part where he then started hurting you? That bit I don’t get.”

  “It would be scary to ask me out?” Noah said. He seemed surprised by the suggestion, but to Jace it seemed obvious. Noah was the guy you crushed on from afar but left for someone way cooler than you to date.

  “You’re the male version of every girl I’ve ever been too scared to approach,” he said.

  “There are girls you’re scared to approach?” Noah seemed surprised by that, too. That was flattering.

  “Hell yes. What if they laughed at me? Way safer to admire at a distance.”

  “I have… literally never had that thought.”

  “Because you’re the scary one,” Jace explained. “You know you can have basically whoever you want.”

  “I…” Noah trailed off. “Wow. Maybe I am the scary one. This is news to me.”

  Jace chuckled. “Well, you’re all mine now.”

  It hit him, as he said it, that he wanted that to be true. That was why Noah saying he loved him was important. That was why he’d been so murderously angry with Rafe.

  He wasn’t sure where he was even supposed to start, but there was a part of him that wanted Noah to be his. Not just his best friend, not just his roommate, but his partner. His one-and-only.

  Jace had never had a more terrifying thought in his life, but there it was. Clear as a mid-summer day, front and center in his mind.

  He had no idea what the hell he was going to do about it, though.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Joe was exactly as Noah remembered him—tall, dark, and gorgeous. His smile was still c
apable of lighting up a room, and it was directed straight at Noah the moment he saw him. Everyone in the locker room looked over to see who the new guy was.

  Noah rushed in for a bone-crushing hug, laughing the whole time. Sometimes, he wished things had worked out between them, but what they wanted from life was too different. Joe was always flying off to some business meeting far away, and Noah, well… he valued quiet evenings in front of the TV too much to deal with it. Joe had told him once that he was never going to settle down, not until the Grim Reaper caught up with him. That was the moment Noah knew their relationship wasn’t going anywhere.

  He was glad they’d stayed friends, though. Especially right now.

  “You haven’t aged a day!” Joe enthused, pulling back from the hug to look at him, keeping both hands on his shoulders. Joe was an intensely physical man, and Noah had always liked that about him. He liked to be touched.

  “It’s been less than a year since I last saw you, so I hope not.” Noah grinned.

  “So I hear you’re married now? Is the lucky sonofabitch here, or…?” Joe looked around for a likely candidate. He was in for a surprise.

  “That would be me,” Jace said, offering his hand. Joe shook it enthusiastically. He was obviously not heartbroken that Noah had moved on, which was good. Noah had experienced enough jealousy lately to last him a lifetime.

  “I hope you know how well you did.” Joe beamed at him. “I tried to snatch Noah up when I had my chance, but he wouldn’t have me. You must be something really special.”

  “He is,” Noah said. Jace was special, though Noah was sure now that he couldn’t see it. After their conversation about being afraid of approaching people, Noah realized that Jace wasn’t really aware of how wonderful he was.

  He would have loved the opportunity to show Jace exactly what he thought of him, but Jace had been quiet and distant since the incident with Rafe. Noah had put it down to processing and figured Jace wasn’t the kind of guy who wanted to talk everything to death all the time.