Ikigai

by Hildred Billings

  Short, high-pitched sounds burst from Aiko’s throat as she orgasmed beneath her spouse. Something fell off the table, but she didn’t give a shit – not with Reina also squirming and gasping in reverie.

  Although their lovemaking was short, it quelled Aiko’s libido for the time being. It finished Reina’s off for the night, as she slumped onto her wife and covered her in the laziest kisses possible. “You’re still beautiful,” she whimpered, gazing at Aiko’s skin. “Sorry if you felt left out tonight.”

  Laughter rang in the air. “I definitely don’t right now.”

  “Let’s go to bed.”

  Unlike Jun and Aiko, Reina had work the next day, so the request was welcome. After loitering in the living area, Reina and Aiko finally got up before turning off the downstairs lights and heading up. Jun was still in bed, although she had migrated to the far end of Reina’s side.

  “I heard that,” she said with a smile on her face. Reina jumped onto the bed and ripped off her blouse until she was more nude than the rest of them. Aiko dimmed the lights and took off her bathrobe. She would leave the nightgown on tonight. “Should’ve known you would leave me to fuck your wife.”

  Reina kissed her girlfriend’s cheek and climbed into bed beside her. The bed was large, but not gigantic, so while Aiko had ample room to sleep in, it was but a sliver compared to what she was used to. Still, she did not complain as she pulled the covers up and took comfort in her spouse’s body heat behind her.

  “You staying the night?” Reina asked their guest.

  “Uh huh. But I was strictly reminded that I was not to fool around with your wife.”

  Aiko rolled her eyes behind their backs. “Good night, Jun-san.”

  She did not expect Reina to pay much attention to her that night. So she was pleasantly surprised when the lights went off and her spouse curled up behind her, hot breath blasting through her nostrils and onto the back of Aiko’s neck. “Oyasumi,” Reina said, wishing her wife a good night and pleasant dreams.

  The dreams were not pleasant. In fact, Aiko didn’t have a single dream that night. A blessing, since she couldn’t stand the thought of dreaming of someone else when in bed with two of the biggest lesbians she knew.

  Cold, clear night air reinvigorated Reina’s senses as she stood outside the train station and smoked a cigarette. Happy birthday to me. She marked on a small piece of paper every year of her life, boggling to see how much time had gone by. Forty-two years didn’t seem real.

  It was nearly seven, the time when Aiko asked her to be home for dinner. Reina supposed it would be her favorite foods. Maybe a present or two. Then sex, of course. It wouldn’t be somebody’s birthday without sex.

  Another train came and went as Reina smoked her cigarette. Taxis lined up along the street like vultures waiting to take hapless people home. After a flood of people trickled by, Reina was left alone again with her cigarette, two fewer taxis, and a man in a business suit standing next to her.

  “Yamada-san.” Hiroyuki, the neighbor with a chip on his shoulder.

  Reina tapped some ashes onto the ground. “Hi.”

  After an awkward few seconds, during which the man opened and closed his mouth as if to say something, Hiroyuki finally took his leave and Reina finished her cigarette.

  She took her time getting home, savoring the crisp December air and the warmth of the lights in people’s homes. Every house had a different scent coming from it. But none of them welcomed Reina as she strolled through the neighborhood.

  Eventually she reached her house, nestled between two others with their lights on, and entered before the cold could get to her.

  “Omedetou tanjyoubi!” Aiko’s voice rang through the front hall as she came out to wish her spouse a happy birthday. “How was work?”

  Reina slipped off her shoes and dumped her briefcase by the umbrella stand. “Same as always. Not like I get special treatment on my birthday. Doubt they even knew it was going on.” Her big birthday present from the section chief was getting to run an errand in the afternoon.

  Aiko brushed debris from her spouse’s shoulders and smoothed out the rest of her black jacket. “You have a visitor,” she said sweetly, an arch to her eyebrows tantalizing Reina.

  “A visitor? Who?” The way Aiko was talking it must be someone special. Except Reina couldn’t think of anyone who would make Aiko act sly like this. She opened the door to the living area and walked in, half-expecting to see an old friend from years ago.

  “Ah! Reina!” An old lady hopped up from the sitting table, her glasses lopsided on her nose as her thin, gray hair dangled atop her shoulders. “Happy birthday!”

  Reina almost shut the door on her wife behind her. “Ma.”

  She should have guessed that it was her mother, Sachiko, come to call on her daughter’s birthday. Minus the fact that Sachiko hadn’t bothered with anything related to her daughter for over twenty years. Small details. Somewhere between realizing she was about to die alone and getting religion she decided to start caring again. It wasn’t unusual for Sachiko to join them on a lazy Sunday – or for Aiko to drag them to Reina’s childhood home in Adachi on Sundays – but nothing of note ever happened. Instead Reina often counted down the awkward minutes until her mother finally left. “Don’t you care that your mother is reaching out to you?” Aiko would always ask. “She’s lonely and misses her daughter.” To that I can only say, “Tough shit.” She should’ve thought of that years ago.

  Still, she was cordial to her mother as she sat at the table and gruffly answered questions about how she had been those past two weeks since they last saw each other. Sachiko remarked on her daughter’s good skin and better tastes in clothing. It was like the fucking Twilight Zone when compared to the Sachiko of Reina’s youth, who chastised her for “dressing like a harlot.” Lesbian harlot. The worst kind.

  “Did I ever tell you about the day she was born?” Sachiko asked Aiko as she came in with dinner. Reina groaned. Not even the delightful smell of okonomiyaki, her favorite dish, could invigorate her senses.

  “I don’t believe you have.” Aiko had given up her spot at the head of the table so Sachiko could sit next to her daughter. Now the homemaker took the guest’s spot across from Reina.

  Of course, this was an invitation for Sachiko to divulge all the gruesome details of Reina’s birth while they ate dinner. More than once Reina choked on a piece of shrimp or carrot as tales of blood, afterbirth, and vaginal tearing filled the room. While she gagged, Aiko merely smiled and said pithy things as if she had given birth as well. If she starts talking about shitting on the birthing table, she’s out of here.

  “It was all worth it to hold my perfectly sized baby in my arms.” Sachiko reached over and patted Reina’s cheek. “Now look at how tall she is! Bit scrawny, but I blame the cigarettes.”

  After dinner, two presents were opened: a knit scarf from her mother and a CD from Aiko. The hour was late for Sachiko. When she finally departed with an enthusiastic wave, Aiko closed the front door and turned to her spouse with a disbelieving sneer.

  Yet Aiko quickly forgave her spouse’s filial transgressions, as displayed when she later presented Reina with her final tangible gift. It was a vase of a half dozen blue roses. “I know you’re not big on flowers,” Aiko said, as she fluffed some of the petals and turned the vase so the biggest flower pointed in Reina’s direction. “But Yuri-san had me go to this flower dyeing class today and I couldn’t help but think of you. Aren’t they lovely?”

  True, Reina was not big on flowers. She didn’t hate them, but she also didn’t fall over in love whenever presented with a bouquet. Aiko grew some blooms around the outside of the house, but Reina did not concern herself with them, and she would not miss them if they disappeared. “They are pretty.” At least she would not lie to her wife.

  “I’m glad you think so.” Aiko sat down next to her spouse at the table and rubbed her arm. “That’s not the last present you get tonight,” she sai
d, a purr beneath the song in her voice. “Not on your birthday.”

  “Uh huh.” Here came the main thing Reina was waiting for ever since she got home. Thank God her mom had left. “And what do I get for my birthday?”

  Aiko wrapped her arms around her spouse’s shoulders and kissed the side of her head. “Anything you want,” she whispered into Reina’s ear.

  Anything I want? That was a dangerous thing to ask. Perhaps not so dangerous, since it was the middle of the week and Reina took out her dominant sexual energy on Jun that past weekend. But she still wanted to have sex, of course.

  Aiko told her to wait a few minutes before joining her upstairs. Reina did as commanded, admiring the blue roses as her wife trampled up to their room and made her preparations for lovemaking. Happy birthday to me. Reina plucked one petal and held it up to the light. It glowed a pretty shade of blue.

  After ten minutes or so, Reina got up, turned off the lights, and meandered upstairs. She expected to find her wife in some sexy getup, and she was not disappointed – Aiko sat perched on their bed, wearing her red negligee that she favored when trying to entice Reina. Cause that’s hard. Reina leaned against the doorframe and drank in the sight of her wife’s body enshrouded in sinful red. It was no accident that she lay so her breasts popped up and her bare ass stuck out of the bottom of her nightgown. “Are you trying to tempt me?” Reina asked, slowly removing her jacket and flinging it across the chair in front of her wife’s vanity. “Because I’ll have you know that I’m not as easy as everyone says I am.”

  “Aw, that’s a shame.” Aiko sat up on her knees, the curves of her body bouncing with every swift movement. Restraint… corrupted… Reina approached the bed and propped one knee against it, her hands reaching for her wife’s shoulders. Aiko intercepted her touch and instead kissed her cheek. “Happy birthday, anata,” she said, calling Reina by a rare pet name. “I’m yours for your pleasure.”

  There were a million things that Reina could do to her: bend her over the bed and take her that way, prop her up on top and fuck her like a bucking bronco, tie her up and torture her until she begged for relief… oh, Reina wanted her. That much was for sure.

  “Okay.” Reina unzipped her trousers and loomed over her wife. No, I’m not wearing one today. A glimmer of disappointment shone in Aiko’s eyes. Had she been expecting it? Wanting it? She probably assumed that Reina would want to indulge in her gender dysphoria. Not an unfair assumption. Reina did enjoy a good dicking with the wife more often than not.

  But she didn’t feel like expending the physical and mental energy on it that night. Not on her birthday. For the past twenty birthdays she had been using Aiko’s body as a present. Maybe it was time to turn the service around.

  First she would touch and kiss her wife, of course. Only natural to want to be ready when the time was right. For Reina, that never took long. She merely had to embrace Aiko and feel her warmth, hear her breaths, and touch her soft body to get worked up enough to have sex at a moment’s notice. “God you are so beautiful,” Reina said, her teeth pulling down the front of her wife’s nightgown and grazing her areola. Her hands dug into the flesh of Aiko’s rear and nearly knocked her over. “I don’t ever want to stop looking at you.”

  She had a plan to ensure that. Reina took off her pants and kicked off her underwear, climbed onto bed, and guided her wife between her legs.

  At least Aiko didn’t question it. Not that she would usually protest, but she had become so sensitive to her spouse’s issues that the mere act of going down on her raised concern every time it happened. Not tonight, however. Aiko licked her spouse’s omanko, her tongue pushing through flesh and hair to find the nub that would bring Reina the most immediate pleasure.

  “There it is,” Reina said, her head lolling against the headboard as she gazed up at the painting hanging on the wall. Two butterflies colliding together in carnal bliss. Sure. “Shit, I forget how good this feels.” A pity, since her wife was talented. Once upon a time she was clumsy, but eager. Now, so many years later, Aiko could twirl her tongue in cunnilingus along with the best of them – like Reina. “No, don’t use your fingers. Give me your hands.” They intertwined with Reina’s before traveling up her chest, pulling apart the buttons to her blouse and touching her breasts beneath. There it is, all right. Groaning, Reina slipped farther down, her omanko pushing up into Aiko’s face as the room began to spin.

  The best part was watching her wife’s body tremble in its own desire. She wants me to do her. Aiko’s hips thrust at the air. Badly. Of course she did. That rouse to get Reina to fuck her how she usually liked it came straight from Aiko’s loins. Today was Wednesday. Didn’t she usually fool around with the neighbor on Wednesdays? Maybe she passed it up today to save all her energy for her spouse. No wonder she was pent up. So am I. Ten seconds later, Reina regulated her breathing in an effort to control the intensity of her orgasm. Her wife’s tongue ducked inside her, tasting what managed to escape. The shivers rippling through Reina’s limbs were stronger than the thumps of her heart as it pounded against her chest.

  “Yamede,” she finally bade, pulling her pelvis away as she gently took Aiko’s hair into her hands. “That was good.”

  Aiko sat back, her wet face in a trance as she steadied herself against Reina’s still spread legs. “Isn’t there something else you want?” she asked, leaning forward as her hair covered her pinking visage. “Like maybe…” Both straps of her negligee fell down her arms. “Me?”

  Isn’t this interesting? Aiko climbing on her limbs, pulling down her negligee until she was naked up top, and kissing her spouse’s throat and chest as if she were trying to seduce her. Reina enjoyed toying with any woman most nights. But for her birthday? In the middle of the week? At forty-two? She was content with watching Aiko do all the work.

  Of course her libido returned within a few minutes, and as she gazed upon Aiko’s undulating body as she enticed and fondled… well…

  “Jya, shimashouka?” Reina took her wife by the arms and eased her onto the bed. A light of twisting desire flashed on Aiko’s countenance as she wrapped her legs around Reina’s hips and clutched her with enough pressure to seduce any old lesbian. Good thing Reina wasn’t quite old yet.

  No, she was young. Young in heart and loins, anyway. Her body may be aging, but she made up for it in pure spirit. Just like when she feasted upon her wife’s still soft and nubile body, even though she was over forty now as well.

  How could one woman taste so good? The salt of her skin remained heavenly after all those years, and never mind the sweet transition to the tips of her areolas. She grew more bitter as Reina descended her wife’s body, but it was the good kind of bitter – the kind that complemented all the other flavors mingling in one woman’s temple. Reina teased her wife, threatening to not go down on her in turn if the right reaction wasn’t achieved. No matter how she squirmed or writhed, it wasn’t enough for Reina. She wanted Aiko in another way.

  They joined with their mouths and their bodies, wrapped around each other as passion brewed and Aiko’s need for sexual relief exploded between them. What a nymph. She begged, she pined, and she practically shoved Reina’s hand between her legs as she sweetly asked for what her spouse did best. Reina’s fingers slipped easily in, and she admonished her wife for being so aroused.

  The admonishment didn’t last long. For the moment Reina experienced the heat of her wife’s body, she succumbed to the last of her whims that night. Namely straddling Aiko’s thigh and thrusting against her.

  One minute later Aiko moaned, loudly, her back arching against Reina. Watching her come undone like this never got old either. Reina licked her wife’s nipple as it came up to her mouth with every convulsion.

  That was good too. Reina rode out a satisfying orgasm against her wife’s thigh before turning over onto her side of the bed. Aiko collected herself and snuggled up against her spouse.

  “Good birthday,” Reina said. She clasped her hands behind he
r head and smiled at the ceiling. “Good sex. I’m happy.”

  “That is good, yes.” Aiko pulled open the edges of Reina’s blouse and traced a trail between her breasts. “You’re done?”

  Reina shrugged. “Two orgasms is never too little.”

  They remained in blissful silence. Aiko curled up in Reina’s hold while the birthday woman relaxed in bed and counted her blessings. I have a job, I have my health, and I have the greatest wife I could ever have. She also had a girlfriend on the side and God knew how many other partners running around. But Aiko was the best, hands down. The older Reina got, the more she realized a future where forced monogamy wasn’t a death sentence. Not if she hadAiko.

  “I admit, I was expecting something a bit more… intense tonight.” Aiko lifted her head and spoke into Reina’s ear. “You usually take full liberty on your birthday.”

  “Eh.” Another shrug. “Didn’t feel like it tonight. I can’t whip out my cock every time.”

  “Sou ka…”

  Reina clenched her hand around Aiko’s upper arm. “Oh my God, you really wanted that, huh?” She laughed. “Are you disappointed I didn’t pound your pussy like some crazed animal?”

  Aiko said nothing, though she pouted into her spouse’s chest.

  “Ara, I have completely soiled your brain over these years.” There was a special pride in that. “If it’s any consolation, I’ve been thinking lately about something we might try.”

  Finally, Aiko lost the fuss and perked up. “What’s that? Hot wax?”

  “Not quite.” Reina tried that once before she met Aiko. Never again. “I was thinking that maybe sometime soon we could role-play.”