Wanting (PAVAD)

by Calle J. Brookes

  He wondered which was the real Paige Daviess. She never left Carrie’s side. Had it always been like that when they were two young girls living on the streets? Paige was a member of his team, yet she was the most reticent. He’d known little about her except what was in her personnel file and what he’d been able to observe during the two months he’d been her team leader. And even though they were on reasonably friendly terms as colleagues, she’d told him very little about herself. Now he understood why.

  “If Ashleigh’s back in the city, chances are good she’s down in the state streets.” Paige scanned the block heading north. Sebastian automatically checked south and west.

  “But would she know where to find food or shelter here?” Carrie’s eyes were trained on the east direction of the four way stop.

  “She’s a smart kid, and obviously resourceful. She’s lived in St. Louis her whole life; I’m sure she’s heard or seen things on these areas.” Sebastian wrapped his hand around Carrie’s arm unthinkingly. He pulled her a bit closer, guiding her to walk beside him. He caught the considering look Paige sent his way.

  “Question is...what scared her into running away in the first place? And why did she return the way she did?” Paige asked.

  “We’ve not been able to figure that out.” And it didn’t sit well for Sebastian. One of the best ways to find a missing person was knowing their motivations for running. And they knew nothing of Ashleigh’s, other than that she was afraid of something or someone.

  “Something happened. And it was terrifying enough to send this white bread kid into hell.” Paige kicked a box of trash and other refuse aside as they made their way toward a trio of working girls.

  “Hey Sugarcane, girls. How’s business?” Paige’s tone changed, her words growing clipped, harder, less refined.

  “Well, if it isn’t wonder boy herself. Who’s the cat you brung with you? I’d give him a sample—on the house.” The oldest woman eyed Sebastian like a piece of candy. Her clothes were brief and tight, her makeup thick and hair teased. All the paint in the Western Hemisphere couldn’t disguise the age or wear.

  “This is my boss man. Where’s yours runnin’ this evening?” Paige shifted slightly in front of Sebastian, her thin body blocking Carrie’s and essentially trapping Carrie between Paige’s body and his. Protective, without thinking about it.

  “Timmy don’t tell us his i-ten-ary, you know that.” The hooker looked around, as if expecting the pimp to jump from behind the dumpster. It was something Sebastian had seen hundreds of times in his career. Women used as punching bags and money makers for some lowlife pimp who wouldn’t get a real job.

  “Whatever.” Paige shrugged, a forced relaxed move. “We need some help.”

  “Improving your sex life? No hope for that, wonder boy. Now, if stud here wanted to practice with me instead of eye-fucking the redhead here, I be more than happy to a-comm-o-date.” Sugarcane smirked at Sebastian and he fought the urge to snap back.

  ***

  Had it embarrassed Sebastian, the way the prostitute was behaving? It half-embarrassed Carrie, even though she’d certainly been around people who said shocking things before. When on the streets and on the CCU.

  Sebastian looked at her, and Carrie looked back. Flame hit her cheeks, but she hoped he wouldn’t notice in the dim streetlights.

  “We’re looking for a kid, she may have been seen around here recently.” Sebastian pulled Ashleigh’s photograph from his back pocket. He handed it to the prostitute. She glanced at it for a moment.

  “That kid’s not the kind you find down here, sugar. Check the goodie goods’ runaway shelter that Wonder Boy here hangs around.”

  “We’re on our way there, now,” Carrie said.

  ***

  Sebastian studied the four-story building that Paige led them to. Only a discreet sign on the front window proclaimed it for what it was. Paige opened the door like she’d been there a thousand times before. Carrie, too, seemed extremely comfortable.

  “I called here the night after Sebastian left my apartment. They hadn’t had anyone matching Ashleigh’s description come through. Calista said she’d call me if that changed.” Carrie told them as she followed him inside the building. It was late, well past curfew, and most of the shelter residents were in their beds. Sebastian checked out the floor directory posted just inside the small office the two women led him to.

  A young woman sat manning a computer screen. Security video feeds covered one wall. “Hey P.J., Care. What are you doing out here this late?”

  “Hi, Calista. We are in need of some assistance.” Paige hopped up on the counter. “We get any new arrivals in the last twenty-four hours?”

  “Four. Three boys, one girl. Ages fourteen through sixteen.”

  “Traveling together?” Carrie asked. Sebastian studied her for a moment. She obviously spent quite a bit of time in this place. She leaned against the counter, next to Paige. “We are looking for a girl, fourteen. Blonde hair, now short, and blue eyes. Very pretty, probably disguised as a boy. Very timid, very scared.”

  “We have one that almost fits that description. Lee. He’s—she’s—the youngest and smallest of the four to come in tonight. I’ve got him/her in the blue room with the younger crew.”

  Sebastian straightened. Lee. What were the chances?

  Chapter 30

  *****

  She heard them talking about her. How could she not? She wasn’t asleep, hadn’t slept in two weeks. And when the door had opened, and people had entered the small office fifty feet from the four bed dorm she shared with those three boys who couldn’t have been even as old as her, she’d slipped from the bed and listened at the door.

  She’d stayed away from the other kids as much as she could, not wanting them to find out she wasn’t a boy, too. If it hadn’t been raining when she’d gotten off the bus she wouldn’t be here now. And if she hadn’t been so hungry...

  Ashleigh grabbed her small bag of belongings and slipped her shoes on. The light was off in the room, maybe the security camera she’d easily discovered in the far corner wouldn’t pick up her movements.

  She couldn’t stay here, not any longer. If her mom’s friend found her and made her go home, she’d be dead within the week. He’d told her so.

  He would kill her if he ever saw her again.

  “Go out the back steps, kid.” One of the other kids was awake, and watching every move she made. He was close to her age or so, but his eyes were dead. Just like so many she’d met in the last two weeks. How long would it take her to get that same look? If she lived long enough. “Back alley. There’s a hole in the wire fence, about thirty feet from the door. Few guys a month or two back created an escape route for those who need it.”

  “Thank you.”

  “No problem, white bread. I’ll stall the cops when they come looking. You probably got five minutes to book it.”

  Chapter 31

  *****

  Carrie took a look at the security footage Calista showed her, on the computer Carrie had built specifically for the shelter’s purposes. “Sebastian, it’s her.”

  She looked at him and saw the slight hope in his green eyes. But Carrie wouldn’t share that hope until they had their hands on Ashleigh and could ensure she wouldn’t disappear onto the streets again.

  “Cal, did you start the intake forms on this group?” Paige asked. It was standard procedure that every youth that entered the shelter to fill out a basic first name, age, and medical needs form. Only when they’d developed trust with the staff were they asked for more detailed information. And even then they didn’t have to divulge what they didn’t want to.

  “Yes. Though it was late when most of them came in. And I’m not used to getting four within twenty minutes of each other, either.” Carrie understood. She’d manned the desk on several occasions. Usually they’d get one runaway show up every few days in need of help. Most wouldn’t stay more than a night or two. That was the nature of this particular outreach progra
m. The drop-in center was a cross between emergency services for teens and an outreach center. Many times, she and Paige, as well as other outreach teams, hit the streets to pass out flyers for the center, as well as for the residence facility three blocks over. “So we can’t confirm it is Ashleigh without face-to-face. Sebastian? How do you want to do this? If we go in and the other residents see Paige and I pull Ashleigh out it will completely destroy our credibility here. We can’t do that for one runaway. Not when we can help so many others.”

  “I can go in and get her, but we risk upsetting the other kids in the shelter. What’s the policy for police involvement here?”

  Carrie felt some of the tension she’d been holding slip aside. He understood their position then. Hopefully, he respected it. “None, except when other residents are put into danger. That we don’t tolerate. Most of the residents in this center are short term, and none are aware of mine and Paige’s occupation. If they knew, they’d be even less likely to speak with us.”

  “And we need them to talk to us,” Paige added. “If we get this girl out, and it gets loud, all our credibility here is shot. We can’t risk that.”

  “I can get her out here where Agent Lorcan can ask her a few questions. But even that is going against policy here.” Calista, who had run the shelter for as long as it had been open, said. “If it weren’t for you two being here, I’m not sure I’d be able to without a warrant.”

  Carrie understood the woman’s reticence. She understood why the rules were put into place, and had helped Calista develop those rules two years ago, when the shelter was just in its infancy. If the kids didn’t see the shelter protecting them from authorities, the kids wouldn’t use the shelter.

  And word would spread, destroying all the good Calista and the rest of the shelter crew had done, or would do. “We won’t take her out of the shelter if we can help it. We just need to make sure she’s safe and doesn’t run again. We are not going to force her to go anywhere, Cal. I promise.”

  “Carrie.” Sebastian’s hand was hot on her arm when he pulled her aside. “You know we can’t promise that. She needs to go back to her mother.”

  “Unless she’s not safe. And we still don’t know why she ran, Sebastian. What if it was because of something her mother did? And maybe she’s planning on going home herself. Why else would she return to St. Louis? She thinks she’s safe here at the shelter, we can’t destroy that.” Carrie needed him to understand. Whatever reason Ashleigh had had for running needed to be respected, and if she thought they were just going to force her to go back to the situation she came from, she would continue to run. They’d never be able to help her. “It’s not about helping your friend, it’s about helping Ashleigh.”

  He had to respect Ashleigh’s rights to make her own decisions. Those rights lay at the heart of the shelter’s principals. And at Carrie’s.

  “I understand. But we have an obligation to ensure she’s safe and protected. Before we decide what to do next.” His words were firm, as was the hand he still had wrapped around her elbow. Firm, and strong, and just there.

  She was starting to like having his hands on her. Starting to get used to having him at her side.

  She’d have to think about that later. Right now she had to focus on Ashleigh.

  “We’ve got a security breach!” Calista’s cry had Carrie shifting her attention from Sebastian.

  “Where?” Paige asked.

  Carrie and Paige were familiar with these types of occurrences, and knew the protocols for reaction.

  “Blue room. I think your girl’s headed out the back.”

  “Sebastian and I will take the alley!” Carrie was already half way to disengaging the emergency exit. She was conscious of him only a step behind her.

  “I’ll take the hallway,” Calista said. They wouldn’t stop the youth from leaving, but they would ensure none of the shelter’s valuables—little though there were—went with the kid.

  If it was Ashleigh running, though, she, Sebastian, and Paige would stop her. Carrie knew that was what was required; she didn’t have to like it.

  Chapter 32

  *****

  Ashleigh found the hole in the fence on her first try. She slipped through the opening as fast as she could. She didn’t know where she was going to go. He had said he could find her anywhere, especially in St. Louis, but if she stayed at this shelter her mom’s friend would have her. And he’d send her back. She knew he would. Why else would he be looking for her? She had to get away, she had to.

  That man couldn’t make her go back to her mom. He just couldn’t.

  Her knees slipped in the mud, but she used the momentum to get through the fence just a little faster. If she could make it to the end of the alley, she could disappear down by the river.

  Someone grabbed her before she could take off down the alley. Ashleigh fought, kicking and scratching, trying to get the strong hands off of her.

  It was several minutes before she just gave up. She couldn’t get away and she knew it. He had her.

  It was over.

  Chapter 33

  *****

  Sebastian pulled the kid up after she stopped struggling and wrapped her in the blanket Carrie had ready. Even in the dim streetlights, he had no difficulty seeing that it was the girl they sought.

  “Ashleigh, we’re not going to hurt you. We just need to talk.” He kept his tone light and soothing, knowing the girl wanted nothing more than to run from them.

  “He means it. We’re not going to make you go anywhere you don’t want to go. If you let us help you.” Carrie had her arms around Ashleigh, keeping the girl under control and giving comfort.

  “Don’t tell my mom, please!”

  Sebastian said nothing as they led the girl around the alley and to the front of the building. Paige and the counselor met them at the door. Calista had a resolved expression on her face. “No questioning here. My kids aren’t to see or hear others being interrogated. Not here.”

  Sebastian started to protest but at the accepting expressions on Carrie and Paige’s faces, he stopped. They knew this place and knew what was needed for the future of the shelter. He couldn’t jeopardize it; not knowing why Paige and Carrie were involved with the shelter. For any reason. He wouldn’t do that to them. “Paige, get the car. Carrie and I will wait here.” He tossed the keys to Paige, who nabbed them out of the air and took off toward the parking garage two blocks away.

  He turned back to Ashleigh, undecided what to do with her. Carrie was stroking the ragged spikes that remained of Ashleigh’s once long blonde hair. The child was crying softly, begging them not to take her home. Just what had happened in Sherry’s house to make this little girl so terrified?

  He stepped in front of Ashleigh and put his hands on her shoulders. Sebastian leaned down. “Ashleigh, look at me. Do you know who I am?”

  “Y-y-yes. My mom’s friend Bastian.”

  “That’s right. I’m your mom’s friend. And yours. She asked me to find you and keep you safe. Because she loves you.” Sebastian nodded to Carrie as she brushed a hand down Ashleigh’s back. They both recognized the truth—Ashleigh felt defeated and hopeless. She’d given up.

  But why? What had happened to the girl to make her feel that way? Carrie continued to half-rock the teenager until Paige pulled Sebastian’s Bureau-issue SUV to a stop in front of them.

  Ashleigh didn’t fight them when they helped her into the backseat, but she wouldn’t let go of Carrie. He waited until Carrie was in the back beside Ashleigh and closed the door. He thanked the shelter attendant and climbed into the passenger seat.

  “Where to, boss?” Paige asked.

  “We aren’t taking her home. Not yet. Not until we get some answers. Head to the Bureau.”

  “Right away, boss.”

  Sebastian kept his body turned toward the back of the vehicle. Carrie had her arms around the girl, even though the middle seatbelt was fastened around Ashleigh. She whispered soothing sounds to the little girl, a
nd Sebastian studied the way she interacted with Ashleigh. She was open and warm and comforting, not the least bit reserved. Because the girl was a runaway? Because Carrie identified with her?

  The contrast of how she was with the girl compared to how she acted toward the people they worked with intrigued him. Everything about her intrigued him.

  “Sebastian, she’s cold, and wet from the rain.” Carrie’s voice was soft, but he had no difficulty hearing her words. “And frightened.”

  “Don’t call the cops, please…”

  “Ashleigh, you are not in trouble,” Sebastian said, keeping his tone firm, but reassuring. “We’re just going to my office where we can talk. Figure out a way for you to get back with your mom. Or your dad. Whatever you want.”

  “I can’t go home.” Ashleigh shook her head and pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders.

  “We’ll talk about that, I promise.” And they would. Because there was no belligerence in the girl’s tone, only sadness. She wanted to go home, but honestly felt like she couldn’t. Why?

  Because of a fight with her mother? Problems at school? Something else? Sebastian wasn’t stopping until he knew what had caused her to run in the first place. And he wasn’t stopping until the girl was safe, with people who loved her and could help her. Period.

  Chapter 34

  *****

  Ashleigh knew it was over. They were going to give her back to her mom and he would be there. He’d kill her, just like he’d told her he would. She’d tried telling him that what she saw didn’t matter, that she wouldn’t tell anyone, anyway. But he hadn’t cared.

  She could still feel the pressure of his fingers as his nails dug into her arms. Could feel the heat of his breath as he growled in her face. As he’d demanded to know what she’d heard, what she’d seen.

  He hadn’t believed her when she’d lied and told him she’d seen nothing. He’d dragged her into the basement and shoved her face into the block wall. Told her that if she told anyone what he’d been doing, he’d kill her and hide her body where no one would ever find it.