I Don't Belong to You

by Samantha Restrew

  A male voice comes to my hear as a far sound. Two strong arms pull me up, but just when I should feel stronger, my body gives up and I fall fainted.

  When I wake up, I’m lying on a coach. In front of me I see a boy with dark eyes and black curly hairs, who looks at me worried.

  «How are you? Feeling better?» he asks whispering as not to make me frighten.

  «Excuse me, I run in the snow and I couldn’t handle the fatigue» I answer with a voice that seems to come from the hereafter.

  «What are you doing here?»

  To this question I cannot mask a terror expression. I panic and leap to my feet as if I was a spring. In my condition it was probably an excessive effort, because I start to oscillate dangerously. I don’t fall just because of his promptness in holding my arm, then he says to sit down on the coach again.

  «Stay calm... It’s all right...»

  All right? I’m sitting trying to recover, while Matthew is risking to die. I must immediately hold on the situation.

  «No, it isn’t ok at all. I need a telephone, right now.»

  He looks at me astonished.

  «I would be happy to help you, but the line is down because of the bad weather.»

  As soon as I comprehend his words, my breath gets shorter and I feel my pression lowering again. Now I’m probably looking like a dead person.

  «What can I do? He’s wounded... He is going to die for sure...»

  He holds my shoulders and looks into my eyes determined.

  «Try to calm down and tell me everything.»

  I’m holding my head in the attempt of regain the necessary energy to retrace the events in an ordinate succession.

  «First of all tell me your name.»

  I can’t tell him the truth. If he heard about me and Matthew from the media, it’ll be the end.

  «Laura... Yes, my name is Laura...»

  «Ok Laura, you were talking about a wounded...»

  «It’s my brother John. You know, he was depressed because of a woman. We asked some friends to let us stay in their mountain house for a few weeks. We arrived this morning. I hoped nature would give him relieve... Then the snowstorm. We were afraid the wood wouldn’t be enough. We found some in an open woodshed and someone fired to M... my brother, John. Maybe a poacher by mistake. He’s injured in one leg. He needs a doctor.»

  «I’m afraid there are no doctors in the neighborhood and the area is isolated.» he says.

  To these words, I start crying desperately. Among the crying sobs I ask: «Do you mean that my brother is destined to die?»

  He looks at me tenderly. Probably my desperation went straight to his heart, because he takes my hand and says reassuringly: «No, be quite. I can do it. I’m a veterinarian specialized in treating wild wounded animals. I’ll go to take the necessary to stitch and treat your brother.»

  A veterinary? I can’t believe my ears...

  «Wait a minute, do you really think you can ...?»

  «Trust me, I’m the best. I’m sure I can help him too.»

  He runs across the room to take everything he needs. As I wait, he explains all that he’s picking up.

  «I don’t know what conditions your brother really is, so I’m going to bring more sutures and dressings.»

  After filling the case, he comes back to me saying that I’ll have to point the way.

  «This is another problem. I was so desperate that I ran without taking into account the points of reference. I’m afraid I can’t go back.»

  So he asks me to describe the house as accurately as possible. When I tell him about the table in the porch, he understands right away.

  «I see! Your brother is in Vicky’s house. Come on, I’ll lead you. There’s no time to lose.»

  Getting out he takes my hand to lead me in the snowstorm. As soon as our fingers come into contact, I realize that he’s driven by a strange motion, a sort of chill. Maybe I’m not indifferent to him. But there’s no time to think about his moods. We have to save Matthew as soon as possible.

  MATTHEW

  Thanks to the fire, the room is warm and welcoming, but I can’t feel myself part of this cheerful atmosphere. I can’t enjoy anything away from Khyla. She has not returned yet and I’m feeling more and more tired. Although the belt stops the spillage of blood, I’m feeling weak and powerless. Why did she go again in the snowstorm? In addition to the awareness that I’m now about to die, I’m quite concerned about her. She doesn’t know the area, she’s in the storm without a defined goal and she has no tools to fight any danger she might meet. Only now that she’s out of here, I can imagine the worst scenarios. She could have fallen into a cliff, this time without way out, pursued and torn from wild animals. And I can’t run to save her. Frightened by this perspective, I really try to get up, but I fall like a stone. Because of weakness, I can’t move anymore.

  So I decide. I firmly close the eyes, waiting for the darkness to hold me ones for all.

  CHAPTER 36

  KHYLA

  I’m facing the storm again, but this time I’m more serene because I’m not alone. This guy decided to help me, without knowing anything about me. I’m glad that there are people who are still dedicated to others without fear, without any personal gain. Instead I acted as a hyena. I’m sorry for the pack of lies I told him, yet I had no other choice. Fortunately I invented a plausible story in a short time. I confined myself to tell him the latest personal data that Bart had provided us and to invent something to justify our presence in a home dispersed in the Sierra.

  While the snow is still falling, I thank this bastard weather because, isolating telephones and tv, it concealed our true identity to the do-gooder. Connecting to the internet or turning the radio on, he would probably have known about our daring escape and would have handed us to the police.

  From distance I’m beginning to see the house and feel the need to break the silence between me and the stranger. So far we walked without spelling a word. The contact of our hands as the only meaning to seal our alliance.

  «We’re almost there... There it is!» I exclaim heartened.

  «Good, so we can help your brother. Do you think you can be my assistant?»

  «Of course! Or, at least, I’ll try.»

  «You’re tired, aren’t you? I bet you managed to come to me under the effect of adrenaline and, now that you’re reaching your goal, you feel as if you’ve been hit by a train.»

  «Yes, the sensation is just that. How do you know?»

  «I live it very often with my work. I happened to receive calls in the middle of the night, sometimes after sleeping just one or two hours, because of some troubled animals. I know what it’s likely to rely on more mental than physical forces and, after completed one’s mission, to feel faint.»

  «Yes, this is just how I’m feeling, but I think I still have a bit of autonomy before the final breakdown. I’ll use it to help you.»

  We are now just a few steps from the house. I ask him one last question before entering. Perhaps it’s a way not to think about what we could find in it.

  «You know what? I was so worrying that I forgot to ask your name.»

  «Well, me too. I forgot introducing properly. Normally I’m not so ill-mannered. The blame is all to be attributed to the situation. By the way, my name is Alan.»

  And, as he says it, leaves my hand to put his on the handle and with the other put his bag down and takes the hood off.

  He turns to me and smiles reassuringly. I look in his coffee-colored eyes, so sincere and friendly, very different from those of Matthew. In his case, the grey eyes are blades that come inside, that hurt soul.

  He opens the door and we get in almost at the same time. He heads to Matthew, ordering to me to brighten the fire up. Perhaps is my destiny to be always commanded by men. I immediately go to add wood to the fire almost extinguished now, then run anxiously to Matthew’s bed with heart racing.

  «How is he?» I ask, breathless.

  Matthew’s eyes are closed an
d his face is even paler than when I left. Alan takes his pulse while controlling the movements of his chest, then takes the covers off and look at his leg. Why doesn’t he answer to me? My anxiety runs up to the stars.

  «So?» I insist, shaking his arm.

  «Wait...»

  He takes his briefcase and prepares a syringe with confident gestures, then injects it in Matthew’s arm and he falls inactive aside.

  «You have done a good work blocking the hemorrhage with the belt. Where did you learn?»

  «I want to know how my brother is!» I scream, as if fearing that Alan wanted to conceal something unrecoverable.

  «He’s very bad, but he’ll pull through. I gave him a sedative to be able to intervene without risking any abrupt movement by him. Now let’s move on. The belt stopped the bleeding, but the soon we remove it, the best. It could provokes serious damages to the leg.»

  Reassured by his words, I’m beginning to feel my heart beating more regularly. Alan orders to wash my hands with soap and water. He does it too, spreads a sanitizing cream on his hands and puts sterilized gloves on.

  «We have to be very careful, Laura. We must avoid any infection to the leg. The weather forecast already rumors about the snowstorm longer and stronger of the century. If there will be complications it would be impossible to bring him to the hospital.»

  I nod and position myself beside him. With skilled gestures he disinfect the wound and extract the bullet.

  «That’s it. Now I’m going to disinfect and suture.»

  I give to him the necessary with zeal. I can’t let anything go wrong, right now. Finally I see Alan covering the wound with a sterile gauze. Then he takes the belt off.

  «Well, I can say the most is done. I inject an antibiotic, so that we confine the risk of complications. I also brought some tablets to give him at regular time when he’ll be better.»

  He takes the bloodied bullet with the forceps and carefully looks at it in the light of the fire.

  «It’s very strange. This bullet doesn’t look like a hunting ammo. Are you sure he’s been shot by a poacher?»

  «I think so» I answer with doubtful voice. I’m really worried... If Alan isn’t going to believe me, it won’t be long before he understands that my story is just a big lie.

  «Yes, strange... but not impossible.» he continues, speaking more to himself than to me. «It probably was some inept that wanted to shoot the bears with the family gun. And after hurting an innocent man, he escaped to the speed of light. A coward for sure... Fortunately you were with your brother, otherwise he would have died for sure.»

  I smile, take a chair and sit beside Matthew.

  «What do you want to do?» asks Alan.

  «I’m checking John.»

  «No, I’m sorry. You are too tired to look after him. You couldn’t be a good nurse. Go lie down on the couch and have a good rest. I’m going to stay here until you’ll feel better.»

  I try to convince him that I won’t sleep anyway, knowing that my brother is anesthetized, but Alan takes me and force me to sit on the couch.

  «Now you’re going to rest. It’s an order.»

  He says it with definite voice, but looking in his laughing eyes you can understand it’s a joke. Alan is very different from Matthew, even if as charming as him. With short and coal-black hair, his physic is statuesque and the expression of good boy is printed on his face.

  I decide to play along with that. I’ll close my eyes for a moment and open them right away, yet the tiredness is so much that, as soon as I feel the softness of the couch against my back, I fall asleep.

  What wakes me up, after I don’t know how much time, is a pleasant smell that comes to my nostrils. I get up and my gaze goes right away to Matthew, that is still lying on the bed, but at first sight has a healthier color, indicating that blood has started to circulate regularly in his body.

  Then I turn and see the table covered with food. On one side there’s a plate with a delicious steak with the bone.

  «Where does it come from?» I ask astonished.

  «I cooked it. I hope you don’t mind. When I saw that John was fine, I went to my home and took a good supply of food for you. I have three freezers full of meat. With the excuse that among my wounded animals there’s also a wolf to feed, I can’t be lacking in meat.»

  «Thank, Alan» I say with tears in my eyes, as I sit and take the plate he’s holding out to me. It could be hunger, but I think I haven’t eaten anything better. He eats something with me, then puts the jacket on and heads to the door.

  «I can see you got better, Laura. Now I really must go. I activated the fridge and left there two for John. I think they’re ideal to allow him to recover iron in his blood.»

  I’d like to say so many things to him, to thank him a million times, instead I run and kiss him on the cheek that became scratchy from the beard of one day. He smiles and goes outside, leaving me alone with Matthew.

  I’m sure that the meeting with Alan has been wanted from heaven.

  CHAPTER 37

  KHYLA

  While Matthew is still sleeping, I wash the dishes and pull out a pan to cook his beefsteak. I’m going to cook it rare, so it’ll be richer in iron and he will recover strength sooner. I don’t know if he likes it that way, but this time he’ll have to be content. Actually I don’t know much about his taste. We’ve come together in this infinite escaping just because of the attraction that unites us. Sometimes I ask to myself if we noticed each other even in a crowded room or in a cinema. Somewhere with a lot of fascinating men, would he have been my first choice? I don’t know, maybe I would have thrown myself on a sweeter, more lenient man. Who knows?

  The fact is that by now the feeling I have for him is so strong that it’ll be difficult to leave him when he’ll choose Tracy. I know that in the end he’ll go back to her. He always says that I’m an exceptional girl, but that she’s better. Poor heart of mine, victim of a critical illness... Fate decided to make you a bad joke, but you’ll see that at the end of this adventure, I will find the way to heal your wounds.

  «Khyla...» a low voice reaches my ears. I run to his bedside and see that he has half closed eyes.

  «Who was that?» he asks with muttering voice, due to the effect of anesthesia.

  «Who are you talking about, Matthew?»

  «I saw someone going out of the house. I don’t like to let someone know about us in this house. I want to know who the hell was that» he insists.

  «Do you? Ok, I’ll tell you. That was the man that saved your life, you asshole.»

  Matthew shut up for a few seconds, thoughtful, then says that it’s been a risky act, to let someone come in.

  I’m feeling anger climbing to my brain and would slap him on his face. To calm down I go toward the stove, but he quickly grabs my arm to stop me.

  «Wait, Khyla, don’t be so angry. I didn’t mean to offend you, believe me. Try to understand me... After all happened to me in the past, I don’t trust people.»

  «But you trusted me.»

  «Because I understood right away that you were special. Keep calm and stay here with me. Tell me what happened.»

  I’m just a fool! I sit on the bed and tell him about Alan, going into details.

  He laughs.

  «So am I living because of a vet? Did he think I was a puma?»

  I answer harshly: «Don’t be so witty. You should thank Heaven because I found him in the middle of these mountains, otherwise you would be in the other world.»

  I said this spitefully, pretending to be still angry with him, but I actually am so happy to be here with him, that I forget everything, even his provocations.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, I’m caressing his hair. He let me do it without speaking. As I’m enjoying this sweet moment, I notice that he’s trembling.

  «Are you shivering?» I ask worried. «Maybe you got fever.»

  I touch his forehead to check.

  «No, I’m just cold.» he answers.

 
At these words, I want to get up and look for another blanket, but he blocks me.

  «Are you going to leave me alone right now?»

  «I just want to go across the room to look for something to keep you warmer» I complain.

  «I don’t need it. I know an interesting way for the both of us» he moans mischievous.

  «You’re incredible, you know?» I say shaking my head astonished. «You can’t be thinking about that... Not after all had happened.»

  He laughs heartily and I enjoy his laughter very much. I had been really afraid to lose him forever.

  «Don’t be exaggerate. The effect of anesthesia has gone and the leg is hurting very much. Even if I wanted, I couldn’t. I just want you to be in bed with me, Khyla. Don’t make me plea you...»

  I indulge him. I put aside the edge of the blanket and go in bed beside him. He embraces me and sweetly kisses me on the lips. I know I haven’t the right, but that’s enough for me to feel the luckiest woman in the world.

  «I’m glad you’re ok, Matthew. When I left to look for help, I was afraid I couldn’t get back in time, I feared to find you dead.» I admit to him. I shouldn’t declare my weaknesses to someone who has, so far, exploited me for his purposes, but words are spontaneous from the heart and it’s impossible to curb my emotions.

  Matthew doesn’t answers, yet he’s telling all his world with the eyes. I can see them with the light of the flames and notice that the dark shadows that always outlined the contours, are gone.

  «Do you know what?» he limits to say.

  «What, Matthew?»

  «This leg is not hurting so much as I thought.»

  We both laughs and together let the laughter die on our lips. We look at each other’s eyes to entrap the emotions for an infinite moment. Then we turn up the heat. His mouth catches ravenous mine and, enjoying the bitter-sweet taste of his kisses, I feel shaken by a shudder.

  «We shouldn’t... You’re not feeling good, yet...» I try to make him reasoning.

  But he doesn’t want to hear objections.

  «I could have died, you know? When I escaped, I felt invincible, but the wound in the leg put me in front of all my fragilities. Today I’m here with you, but tomorrow? I’m not going to waste even one moment of time. If this was my last day on earth, I’d like to live it in your arms.»