Rodeo Regrets

by Shannon Taylor Vannatter

  “What can I do for you?”

  “I feel—” he groped for the right word “—unsettled.” A weak word to describe the churning in his soul. But it was all he could come up with.

  “You’re moved into your house? Job’s okay?”

  Lane followed the pastor to the coffeepot. “Everything’s great. I just feel like there’s something God wants me to do. But He’s not telling me what.” He’d thought Natalie was his mission, but he’d failed there.

  Brother Timothy poured two cups and handed Lane one. “Maybe teach a Sunday school class?”

  Alarm shot through his chest. “I don’t think I’ve been in the Bible long enough to teach anyone else about it.”

  “You’d be amazed what teaching a class can teach you. It forces you to study.” Brother Timothy added cream and sugar, then took a sip and closed his eyes. “Mmm. Been needing this.”

  Lane sipped his steaming brew, strong and black. Perfect. “I don’t think teaching’s my calling.”

  “Maybe youth. Stetson could always use some volunteers. Especially since Kendra’s battling morning sickness and doesn’t always make it for class on Sunday.”

  Lane’s heart warmed. Youth. Some of those teens didn’t know any more about the Bible than he did. He could learn right along with them and be useful at the same time.

  “Pray about it.” Brother Timothy clapped him on the shoulder.

  “I will.”

  “Anything else on your mind?”

  Natalie. As usual. “I saw Natalie on the way in. Is she okay?”

  “I think so.”

  “Do you think she’ll attend church here?”

  “Maybe. If not, maybe she’ll attend with her parents. The important thing is, she knows she needs church now.” Brother Timothy set his coffee on one of the long tables, settled in a chair and motioned for Lane to do the same.

  Lane sat. “I hurt her once. A long time ago. And I’m afraid my betrayal set her on a destructive path—one bad decision after another.”

  “She made her own decisions, and you can’t change any of that.”

  Lane sighed. “Wish I could.”

  “All you can do is be kind to her now.”

  “I’ve tried, but she won’t let me near enough.”

  “Just be her friend—even if it’s from afar. Everyone needs a friend.”

  Friends with Natalie Wentworth? He’d offered her friendship. But actively pursuing it might kill him. Lane drained his coffee. “I’ll let you get back to your office. Thanks for the ear and the advice.”

  “Any time.” Brother Timothy shook his hand.

  Lane headed for the exit. The shambles of his relationship with Natalie was his own doing. There was no one to blame but himself.

  What had he thought—that she’d fall into his arms? She’d done that once and lived to regret it. And, apparently, she couldn’t get past those regrets to see who he was now.

  He’d just have to work harder to show her.

  * * *

  Lane entered the back lobby of the Cowtown Coliseum. Finally Friday. Still an hour before the rodeo. With his horse unloaded and saddled up, he’d have plenty of time for supper from the concession stand.

  Natalie strolled several feet ahead of him, dressed conservatively in jeans, boots and a frilly Western shirt. And still turning heads as she went.

  “Hey, gorgeous.” A cowboy blocked her path. “Long time, no see. I hear you’re the new publicist.”

  Lane’s heartbeat stuttered. He knew this guy. One of the bronc riders. One who hit on every attractive female who crossed his radar.

  “Yeah. I’m on my way to the office.” She sidestepped the cowboy.

  “How about a private party at my place?” He cut her off again. “A little beer. Maybe some dancing. See where it takes us?”

  Her posture stiffened. “No, thanks.”

  “My pool will be open soon for the season. Remember that time we—”

  Lane jogged up beside her. “Natalie.”

  She jumped. “What?”

  “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

  “Why?”

  “I missed you.” He pulled her into his arms.

  “Sorry, man, I didn’t know you’d staked a claim.” The cowboy sauntered off.

  Lane’s blood boiled. At the cowboy’s attitude and Natalie’s nearness.

  Her palms pressed against his chest as she strained away from him. “What are you doing?”

  “Letting these guys think you’re my girl.” And he certainly didn’t mind the benefit of being this close to her.

  “Why?”

  “So you won’t have to get hit on at every rodeo.” He let go of her.

  She was quick to put some space in between them. “I’ll have to be more careful and make sure I clear out before the cowboys start arriving.”

  “You should be able to go wherever you want without worrying about anyone bothering you.”

  “In a perfect world, yes.” Her gaze dropped. “But I’ve been less than perfect. I’m reaping the rodeo regrets I sowed.”

  “But you shouldn’t have to. You could press sexual harassment charges against him.”

  “Yeah.” She rolled her eyes. “Causing a scandal right off would endear me to everyone around here.”

  “Then I’ll act as your bodyguard on rodeo nights.”

  “You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine.”

  “I’ve seen your definition of fine.” He glared at the departing bronc rider. “Besides, I want to help you.”

  “No.”

  He set his hands gently on her shoulders. “Let me do this for you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because—I’m sorry. For treating you the way I did in high school.”

  “You’ve already told me that. It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. It will never be okay. And I’m sorry for the way every other jerk has treated you.”

  “None of that was your fault.”

  “Yes, it was. If I hadn’t...maybe you wouldn’t have...I’m sorry.” How could he make her realize her value? He cupped her face in his hands.

  She didn’t stiffen or cringe at his touch.

  “So beautiful.” So hurt and used. He tipped her chin up and claimed her lips.

  A tender caress. Innocent and sweet. But he’d be hard-pressed to keep it that way.

  Chapter 7

  Natalie melted into his kiss. It was gentle and soft, but reached to the depths of her soul. Her arms twined around his neck.

  Lane pulled away long before she wanted him to.

  Her lips trembled. “Didn’t you say something about hands off?”

  “Word travels fast around these parts. Now all these guys will think you’re spoken for. They’ll leave you alone.”

  Her heart turned over. He’d kissed her for show. Not because he’d wanted to. She couldn’t let him see her disappointment. “Thanks.”

  He grinned. “I don’t think I’ve ever been thanked for a kiss.”

  “I doubt you’ve ever kissed anyone just for show before.”

  “Natalie, I—”

  “No. Really, I appreciate it. This way I won’t have to fend off advances while I get used to my new skin. You’ve made everything easier for me.” Except for the gaping hole in her heart. “But don’t try to take advantage of the situation. That’s the last kiss you get.” She wagged a teasing finger at him and walked away, willing her knees not to cave.

  Don’t follow me. Don’t follow me. Don’t follow me.

  He didn’t. Why did that disappoint her?

  Her breathing slowed as she put more distance between them. That kiss had turned her to heated mush. One minute she’d wanted to take h
im home for the night. The next, she could have killed him.

  Were Christians supposed to have such thoughts? Had anything really changed inside her? Had anything really happened in Brother Timothy’s office the day she got saved?

  * * *

  Natalie and Kendra walked through the empty church lobby toward Brother Timothy’s office.

  “He’s probably working on tomorrow’s sermon. Do you really think he’s got time to talk to me again?”

  “Of course.” Kendra patted her arm. “Look, his office door is open.”

  Natalie knocked on the open door and peeked inside.

  The pastor looked up from his desk. “Ah, Natalie. I’m glad you came back. For future reference, we have Sunday and Wednesday evening services, too. Not just Sunday morning.” His teasing manner took the sting from his words.

  “Yeah, I’m working on that. This Sunday, I’m going with my parents. In the meantime, do you have a minute?”

  “Have a seat.”

  “Are you sure you want me to stay?” Kendra hesitated at the door.

  “Yes, please.” Natalie sank into the chair facing the pastor and waited until Kendra sat down next to her, then took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts. “Sometimes, I don’t feel like a Christian.”

  Brother Timothy laughed. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not funny, but welcome to my world. I can’t tell you how often I don’t feel like a Christian.”

  “But you’re the preacher.”

  “Yes, but I’m still a man.” He propped his elbows on his desk, steepling his hands. “How do you feel when your thoughts or reactions aren’t Christian?”

  She closed her eyes. “My insides churn.”

  “That’s good. That’s Jesus convicting you. If you didn’t feel that, I’d worry about you. But since you do, that proves you’re saved.”

  “But I felt that way, even before I prayed with you.”

  “For how long?” Kendra asked.

  “Over two years.”

  Kendra’s hand went to her heart. “About the time Rayna, her sister-in-law, and I started praying for you.”

  Natalie’s eyes misted. “Really. You think...?”

  “I know.” Brother Timothy nodded. “There’s power in prayer.”

  “Thank you.” Natalie blinked several times.

  Kendra patted her arm. “Thank God.”

  “Do you feel better about your salvation?” Brother Timothy asked. “That it’s real?”

  Warmth flooded through her. A comforting presence. “Yes.”

  “Good.” He pulled a Bible from the shelf beside his desk and handed it to her. “Take this. Once you finish the verses I gave you, I always suggest that new converts start reading John in the New Testament, then through to Revelation and start over in the Old Testament.”

  “You already gave me a Bible the other day.”

  “Now you’ll have two, one for home, one to keep in your car. Bring any questions you have my way. If I can’t answer them, I’ll study on it and let you know.”

  “There are things you don’t know? About God?”

  “No one knows everything about God. Not until we get to heaven. One other piece of advice I can offer.”

  “What’s that?”

  “If there are people in your life who make you forget you’re a Christian, avoid them.”

  Natalie swallowed hard.

  Avoid Lane? With all of Cowtown thinking they were an item?

  * * *

  Natalie stood near her sister for moral support as the decision maker for the Stockyards Championship Rodeo surveyed Caitlyn’s clothing store.

  “You carry all the major brands.” Dressed in a business suit, her blond hair pulled into a tight chignon, the woman looked anything but rodeo. She typed something into her iPad. “Your stock and displays are exactly what we’re looking for. I think all of our rodeo personnel can find anything they might need right here in your store.”

  “And don’t forget Caitlyn owns a second store in Dallas.” Natalie handed her Caitlyn’s business card. “Anything not in stock here can be pulled from there.”

  The woman looked up from her tablet. “I’m recommending you for the contract.”

  “Wonderful.” Caitlyn remained professional, though Natalie knew fireworks burst within her, matching her own. “I’m so pleased you like the store.”

  “I can’t make any promises, but the Cowtown management team usually trusts my judgment.” The woman slid her iPad into her briefcase. “I’ll be in touch—probably by the end of the week.”

  “Thank you.”

  The woman exited.

  Caitlyn whooped and turned to face Natalie.

  “I knew you could do it.”

  “I couldn’t have.” Caitlyn shook her head. “Not without you. You always give me just the right shove.”

  The sisters linked elbows and did a little square dance.

  Yes, work could fill her empty spots inside. And if Wyatt would let her see Hannah, she might be okay. Who needed what’s-his-name?

  The bell rang above the door and their dance stopped.

  What’s-his-name strode in. “Hey, what’s going on in here?”

  “Lane? What are you doing here?” Caitlyn’s wide eyes swept from Lane to Natalie.

  “I moved back a few months ago. Didn’t Nat tell you?” He set a large leather saddlebag on the counter.

  “No.”

  His green gaze settled on Natalie.

  Her insides squirmed. “Caitlyn’s probably going to get the contract for Cowtown personnel clothing. We were celebrating.”

  “Congratulations.” His eyes never left Natalie’s. “Guess I’ll be getting my working gear from here.”

  “You work at Cowtown?” Caitlyn’s surprised tone promised a third degree later.

  “He’s a pickup man there.” If he didn’t stop looking at her like that, he might have to pick her up off the floor. “What are you doing here?”

  “I saw your car out front.” He opened the satchel. “I brought you something. Take a look.”

  Natalie leaned toward the counter without moving any closer to Lane.

  He stuck both hands in the satchel and pulled out a ball of reddish-brown fur. “Sorry to wake you up, little one, but I want you to meet someone.”

  The puppy yawned and shook floppy ears. Feet too big for its body dangled over Lane’s hand.

  “Aww. Is he yours?” Natalie scooped the puppy out of his hands and cuddled it to her cheek.

  “No, he’s yours.”

  “What?”

  “I rescued him from the shelter with you in mind.”

  “Why?”

  “I thought he might get you past your fear of dogs.”

  “Good luck with that.” Caitlyn chuckled. “He’s a Lab, isn’t he?”

  Natalie stiffened. “He’ll grow up to be huge.”

  “And you’ll be there from the beginning. Labs are one of the most gentle dogs there are and very protective of their owners.”

  “This is a great idea, Nat.” Caitlyn cooed at the puppy. “You can live in Garland without running into a loose dog, but not in Aubrey.”

  The puppy lathered Natalie’s cheek with a sloppy kiss. Her frightened heart melted. She snuggled him close once more.

  “I’ll take that as a yes.” Lane grinned.

  “I’m never home during the day. He can’t stay in my house.”

  “You’ve got that porch in the back.” Caitlyn scratched the puppy’s ear. “The rails are close together around the deck part. We could rig some kind of gate across the opening. And I bet Lane could find someone to build you a fenced-in area.”

  “Better yet, I’ll build it myself.” Lane folded his arms across his c
hest.

  “What?” Natalie squeaked.

  His bulging biceps strained at his sleeves. “You don’t think I can? I’ve built a few fences in my life. Just place your order and I’ll make it happen.”

  “You can’t turn down an offer like that.” Caitlyn—the traitor—obviously enjoyed watching her squirm. “Nat’s always wanted a white rail fence.”

  “Done. I’ll put in wiring at the bottom until this little guy gets too big to slip through.”

  “I’ll pay you.” Maybe that would hurry things along if he worked by the hour. How had she gotten sucked into this?

  “No way.”

  “You can’t buy me a dog and build a fence for free.”

  “I didn’t buy the dog from a breeder or anything. I rescued him from the pound.” He held her gaze. “And I figure I owe you. A lot more.”

  Pins pricked at the back of her eyes. She blinked. “I’ll buy the supplies.”

  “Deal.” He offered his hand. “On one condition.”

  She arched an eyebrow.

  “I’m starting a fencing company. Can I put a sign up to advertise?”

  “Sure.” Just get it over with. Fast.

  “You want it around your whole place?”

  Yes. But that would keep him around longer. “The back will suffice.” Forced to touch him, she clasped his hand. Electricity shot up her arm, and she jerked away. If only she could build a fence around her heart.

  “I’ll be there in the morning. Just show me where you want it.”

  It really was sweet of him. She should act more grateful. “It’s very thoughtful of you—I mean the puppy. Well, and the fence. But especially the puppy.”

  “Thought he could help you and maybe fill some empty spots.”

  She blinked again. A puppy to keep her company while she waited to see her daughter. If she ever did.

  “I bought some food and a doghouse to go with him. I’ll put them in your car.”

  “What a guy.” Caitlyn scanned from Natalie to Lane. “You think of everything.”

  “I’m just glad she accepted. I’m not sure how Barney would’ve liked me bringing a puppy home.” He ran his fingers through the puppy’s plush fur, grazing Natalie’s hand again. “He needs a name.”

  Yes, he did. But she couldn’t think past the fireworks shooting through her veins.