The Girl He Used to Love

by Amy Vastine

  “Okay...” He took her hand and led her to the swing, but Faith didn’t sit with him. He had a bad feeling about where this conversation was headed.

  “Helping Hooves is my dad’s legacy. I always imagined myself carrying on his work after he was gone. I just didn’t expect it to be as soon as it was.”

  “I know how important it is to you.” Dean could relate better than anyone. His business was like his child. He loved it and would do anything to protect it.

  “My dad left the farm to me and Sawyer. Not just me. Not just Sawyer. Both of us. He knew neither one of us could do it alone.”

  “I get it. I do.”

  Faith took the seat next to him. “Do you really think Sawyer has what it takes to become a country music star?”

  “I wouldn’t have told him so if I didn’t believe it.”

  That was clearly not the answer she was looking for. “But it’s not an easy business. There are no guarantees, right?”

  “No, there aren’t. You have to have talent, but a whole lot of luck is involved. It’s not easy to predict what or who is going to hit.”

  The worry lines around her eyes made Dean feel even guiltier. “Could he live on the farm and travel to Nashville to record songs or play shows at night?”

  “For periods of time, yes,” Dean said, hating to get her hopes up. “But to be successful he’d have to hit the road. He’d be gone more than he was home.”

  Faith sat back and dropped her head in her hands. Dean put his arm around her. Why was it that their siblings were always driving a wedge between the two of them?

  “Sawyer said your business partner isn’t sure you guys should sign someone who’s a complete unknown. Do you still want him to come to Nashville with you?”

  “I do,” Dean answered honestly because there weren’t going to be any more lies in this relationship. “Landon, my partner, is on board. We put some things online and Sawyer has gotten an amazing response. But I understand he has responsibilities here. I don’t want to take him from you.”

  Faith jumped on that. She lifted her head and begged, “Then don’t. Don’t take him. I know that sounds so selfish, but I’m begging you to un-invite him.”

  Dean took a deep breath and shook his head. “Your brother has real talent. I’m not the only one who sees it. If I don’t invite him to Nashville, someone else will. And what if the next guy doesn’t have his best interest at heart like I do?”

  “He won’t go with anyone else.” Faith’s desperation grew. “He trusts you and if you told him he should stay here, he would believe you.”

  “You want me to lie? You want me to tell him he’s not good enough when he is? I don’t know if I can do that.”

  The lies they had told other people in their lives had ruined their relationship the first time. Dean didn’t want to go down that road again.

  Faith got up and walked over to the railing. Leaning on her elbows, she stared down at Dean’s mother’s rhododendrons. “This isn’t easy for me. The last thing I want you to do is lie. I hate the lies.”

  “Then don’t ask me to, Faith. I think we should let Sawyer decide.”

  She spun around and the tears in her eyes made that pain in his chest reappear. “There are talented people everywhere. You’re more than capable of finding another singer. I only have one brother. I can’t replace him. Sure, I can hire someone to do the work he does, but that’s not all I need him for. Everyone I love leaves, Dean. Everyone. My mom. Addison. My dad. You. The thought of Sawyer joining that list...” She began to tremble. “Please.”

  Dean went to her and held her close while she cried. Grace Note Records had been the most important thing in Dean’s life until he’d returned to Grass Lake. Now everything had changed.

  * * *

  WEAK.

  Pathetic.

  Insecure.

  Cowardly.

  Those weren’t the words Faith would usually use to describe herself. Until tonight.

  Standing on the Presleys’ front porch, begging Dean to lie to Sawyer so he wouldn’t desert her was pretty much the lowest Faith had ever been. If the world used this as her defining moment, it would be a shameful one at that.

  Knowing this didn’t stop her from asking, though. Her fear of being left alone was bigger than her need for self-respect at the moment.

  “I’ll do it,” Dean said in nearly a whisper. Faith almost thought she’d imagined it until he said it again. “I’ll do it, but I hope you understand what this means.”

  She did. That was one of the reasons the tears were falling. Asking Dean to do this meant there could be no hope for the two of them to be together. There was no way she could ask him to break her brother’s heart and then be a part of their lives.

  “It means this is really goodbye,” she managed to choke out.

  Dean squeezed her a little tighter. She could feel his reluctance to let her go. Her fingers dug into the soft cotton of his shirt. She didn’t want this to end before it even had a chance to really begin, either. But the choice had been made.

  * * *

  THE NEXT MORNING Faith went out to the barn before Sawyer even woke up. She wasn’t even sure she’d be able to face him today. Her head throbbed from a mixture of crying and lack of sleep. She had spent the early morning hours reconsidering her decision. What was done was done, though. There was no going back.

  Sassy greeted her with a whinny. Winston made himself known, as well. The youngster of the bunch was Renegade. Sawyer had named the jet-black quarter horse. They were still training him to do therapy, but he was proving to be a little more stubborn than the others. Greta rounded out the bunch. She was a beautiful palomino quarter horse who had been put into the therapy rotation about a year ago.

  Faith knew them all like they were her family. She could name all their likes and dislikes. She knew which ones preferred to stand around eating and which ones loved to play games and be active. They were all quick learners and inquisitive. Each one held a special place in Faith’s heart.

  She had refilled their water and hay before Sawyer made it out to help. He had on his favorite cowboy hat and Tim McGraw T-shirt.

  “You’re up earlier than usual. Did you even sleep last night?”

  Faith avoided making eye contact. “Thought I’d take them all for a ride this morning. They need to run today. I feel like we haven’t been exercising them enough since Duchess died.”

  “That’s probably a good idea. I was going to work with Renegade today so he’s ready to take the spot that’s open when camp starts.”

  “Thanks,” Faith said with her heart heavy in her chest. He was always looking ahead and thinking about what they needed for whatever was next. How could she ever find someone who knew this place well enough to do that?

  She couldn’t, which was why she had done what she’d done.

  They worked in silence, mucking the stalls and laying fresh bedding. Faith didn’t have the guts to make small talk. Nothing she could say would ease the tension between them. Tension that would inevitably grow once Dean and Sawyer spoke.

  Faith saddled up Sassy and went for a ride. When she got back, Sawyer was on the phone. Her stomach dropped. Would Dean tell him the bad news so impersonally? Maybe that would make it easier on him. She couldn’t fault him for going that route.

  “Dean wants me to stop by this afternoon. I’ll only be gone for a little bit, and I’ll pick up the supplies we need when I pass through town.”

  “Okay.” Faith’s emotions were all twisted as she dismounted Sassy.

  “I’m going to tell him I want to go to Nashville with him when he heads back.”

  An enormous lump formed in her throat. Faith didn’t know how to reply. She prayed Dean would stay true to his word.

  “You’ve got nothing to say to that?” Sawye
r asked as Faith led Sassy into the barn.

  “What do you want me to say? That you’re breaking my heart? That I can’t believe you’d leave me to run this place by myself? Is there really anything I can say that’s going to change your mind?”

  Sawyer hurled a hay bale into the stall next to the tack room. “That’s great, Faith. Perfect. I really appreciate your support.”

  Faith bit her tongue. She didn’t want to fight with him. She wanted him to go to Dean’s and get the bad news. Once Dean left for Nashville, everything would go back to normal. At least, that was what Faith wanted to believe.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  “I WISH YOU didn’t have to go.” Marilee stood in the doorway of what used to be Dean’s bedroom.

  He shoved all his new clothes into a bag his mom had let him borrow. “It was never going to be forever.” He could say that about a lot of things.

  “I know, but everything’s been better with you here. I hope with all the secrets out in the open, you’ll come home again soon. Maybe to see a lovely young lady you seemed very cozy with yesterday.”

  If she only knew. New secrets would make Grass Lake off-limits once again. Maybe he could come down for a day visit. But sticking around too long would certainly spell disaster.

  “Faith and I are just friends, Mom. Don’t start planning a wedding.”

  His mom smiled like she was trying not to laugh. “I never said anything about a wedding, but it’s interesting that you did.”

  Dean sighed. “Mom, I’m serious. Faith and I will never be more than friends.” If he could even call what they had that. This new lie ruined their chances of having any kind of relationship. In a few years they’d be strangers once again.

  “Fine,” she said, throwing her hands up. “I don’t care why you come home. Whatever the reason, it would be nice to have you, that’s all I’m saying.”

  He lifted his mom into a bear hug. “Is that all you’re saying?”

  She wiggled in his arms. “Put me down. Goodness, you’re just like your father.”

  He set her on her feet. “I love you, Mama. I promise to come home again if that will make you happy.”

  “It will.” She touched his face. “It really will.”

  Dean didn’t need much time to pack the small bag of things he had accumulated over the past ten days. Ten days. It was hard to believe how much had happened in such a short time.

  “Sawyer just pulled up. Is he coming to see you?” his mom shouted from the hall.

  Dean went to the window and pulled back the curtain. Sawyer was checking his hair in the side mirror of his truck, most likely worried about making a good impression.

  “Yeah, he’s here to talk to me.” Dean sat on the bed and rubbed his throbbing temples.

  “Try to look more excited once he’s inside,” his mom said, walking by his room to go downstairs as the doorbell rang.

  There wasn’t much to be excited about. He had to tell his most promising prospect that he wasn’t interested in signing him even though Dean was the exact opposite of disinterested. And he still had to break the news to Landon that there was no new talent on the horizon. That wasn’t going to go over well, especially since it was Dean’s influence that had sparked so much interest over the past week.

  Always the hospitable one, Dean’s mom welcomed Sawyer with open arms. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “I’m fine, Mrs. Presley. Thank you very much, though.”

  Dean jogged down the stairs with his bag and greeted Sawyer with a firm handshake. He suggested they go sit in the family room. Sitting down was the only way to take bad news. But maybe that only made it easier for the bearer of the bad news. Dean quickly dismissed that theory. There was no easy way to say this.

  “Did you see what I posted last night? More importantly, did you see the girl who asked me to marry her?” Sawyer waggled his brow. “I’m trying to figure out why I didn’t think to use social media before.”

  “I’m glad you’re having fun. It’s a really good place to start. I hope you’ll keep it up.”

  “You’re going to want me to, right? I thought that was how I’ll let people know what’s happening when I start recording and playing shows.”

  Sawyer had been an excellent student. He listened and paid attention, which was huge. There were lots of guys out there who were just as green but thought they knew it all.

  “If you get to that. Yes, social media is the perfect way to communicate with your fans, create buzz.”

  “Well, I’m ready to start. I want to do this. I’ve talked to Faith and we’re good to go. Looks like you’re packed. When do we leave?” Sawyer’s eagerness was evident in his cocky grin.

  Dean rubbed his jaw. It had been so tense it was getting sore. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I don’t think you should come to Nashville. Landon—” Dean cleared his throat. The lie didn’t want to come out. “—and I have decided to put our efforts into another artist. Someone we’ve been looking at for a few months.”

  Deep, questioning lines appeared on Sawyer’s forehead. “Are you messing with me right now?”

  Dean wished he could say yes. “It’s not personal, it’s business.” That was the biggest lie of all. This was entirely personal because he was in love with Faith and she needed her brother.

  “Are you joking right now?” Sawyer stared at him in disbelief. “Is this your way of playing hardball?”

  “I’m not playing games, Sawyer. That’s not what this is.”

  “Come on. I get it. I didn’t jump at your first attempt at reeling me in and now you’re making me sweat a little. Is that it?”

  “I think you have a great voice. Keep singing in your free time. It’s a good outlet for you, I can see that.”

  “Is this about my sister? I told you. I would handle her. She and I will figure out what to do about Helping Hooves. If she made you reconsider, I’m asking you to re-reconsider.”

  Dean couldn’t address the issue of Faith. “I wish you the best, man. I really do.”

  “She put you up to this, didn’t she? Come on, Dean, a couple days’ ago you were practically begging me to come to Nashville. You told me you could make me the next Boone Williams. Then, the day after I see you making out with my sister—who doesn’t want me to leave, by the way—you decide to go with another artist? I’m not some little kid who doesn’t see what’s going on here.”

  “There’s nothing going on between me and Faith,” Dean assured him. That much was true. “I care about her, yes. We got carried away yesterday because emotions were running high, but we can’t be together, so don’t make this about her.”

  “That’s it, then? You’re leaving and you don’t want to see what I can do in Nashville?” The pain of rejection emanated from Sawyer’s eyes. Dean had to look away.

  “Like I said, I wish you the best.”

  Sawyer rubbed his palms on his thighs before he stood. “Yeah, well, I wish you the best, too. Thanks for nothing.”

  Sawyer was out the door before Dean’s mom could even say goodbye. She stepped around the corner. “What was all that about?”

  Dean gripped his head. A dull ache started at the base of his neck and wrapped all the way around his skull. “Nothing good.”

  * * *

  “I’M THINKING ABOUT changing the menu. Maybe add some specials. Serve more than just pub grub.” Josie had stopped over with some mock-ups of the new Sundown logo she’d been working on for the last month or so. She had provided the distraction Faith needed while Sawyer was at Dean’s.

  Either Sawyer was hearing Nashville was a no-go or he was talking Dean out of the deal he’d made with Faith. Neither one was the perfect solution to things. Both ended with Dean leaving Grass Lake for good and one of the Strattons miserable.

 
“Whatever you do, people around here will love it.”

  “I also thought, what if I knocked out that one wall on the west side and built a bigger stage with a little dance floor? We could bring in more entertainment, attract more of a crowd. Maybe Sawyer could still come play there after he goes big-time.”

  Even Josie had more faith in Sawyer than his sister did. Faith felt that old, familiar guilt take its place on her shoulders. Before she could confess to ruining any chance Sawyer had of making it big-time, he came storming into the house.

  “What did you do?” Sawyer’s blood must have been boiling. He threw his truck keys across the room. They hit the picture hanging by the pantry so hard it fell off the wall with a clatter, causing Scout to bark. “Did you call him at the crack of dawn and tell him to leave me behind? Is that what you were doing in the barn so early this morning? Did you make him promise to do whatever you wanted when you were playing kissy-face yesterday?”

  Faith had no comeback. Pretending she hadn’t known it was coming and telling him she had nothing to do with it were two very different things.

  “Hey now, cowboy.” Josie stood in between the two of them. “Why don’t you head back outside and find your cool before you come in here and talk to your sister?”

  “Did she tell you how she meddled in my life like she had a say?” Sawyer’s heavy breaths made him sound like he had run there from the Presleys’. “You don’t get a say, Faith. I’m not a kid!” He knocked over one of the kitchen chairs in his rage and left out the back door, Scout hot on his heels.

  “What in the world?” Josie picked up the chair and righted it. “I’ve never seen him throw a temper tantrum like that before.”

  Faith ran her hands over the goose bumps on her arms. Her whole body felt electrified, like Sawyer had come in and used a Taser gun on her. She’d thought he’d be disappointed, not full of fury.

  “He’s not going to Nashville with Dean.”

  “Why not? Is that guy crazy? Did he not hear Sawyer on Friday night? That was his best show yet!”

  Dean had heard him just fine. He also believed in Sawyer more than Faith did.