Dangerous Hilarity

by Sioux Dallas

  “What’s his name?”

  “What kind is he?”

  “What color is he?”

  The questions came fast and loud. “How do you know the horse is a he?” Herb laughed.

  The policeman laughed. “Yes, it’s a he. His name is Ebony Warrior - called Warrior. He’s a black Morgan stallion and is highly trained. He can walk quietly through traffic or a crowd of people and he can walk sideways and push a crowd back. There are several others out there.” With a smile and a wave of his hand over his head he turned to go down on the elevator.

  “Wait,” Herb called. “May I send some of the boys down with you? The elevator is not large enough for the entire group.”

  As some of the boys crowded in with the policeman, Herb cautioned them. “Please don’t annoy the officer with more questions. Stand right at the bottom and don’t move until I get there.”

  When Herb and the remainder of the boys reached bottom, the policeman was standing with those who had come with him. He saluted smartly, made a square turn and briskly walked to a jeep. He turned the vehicle and drove toward the stable. The boys looked after him with open admiration.

  Herb had kept a very nice surprise until last. On the bus the driver, James Richardson, listened patiently as several boys tried to tell him what they had seen. Herb called for attention. “I have made arrangements for the Senators and the Representatives from Virginia to meet with us at three-thirty this afternoon in the Capitol Building.”

  A cheer went up. The driver playfully hunched his shoulders at the noise but grinned in the rear-view mirror at the boys.

  On the way up Pennsylvania Avenue, Miguel Perez suddenly shouted. “There he is! Oh, look there he is.”

  “Who?” the boys rushed to one side of the bus. “Where?”

  Miguel could hardly speak in his excitement. The boys looked in the direction he was pointing.

  “It’s him,” Danny yelled.

  “It is he,” Herb corrected. “Oh, well.”

  “There’s the cop on his black horse,” Jacob Solomon yelled.

  “Are you sure it’s the same person?” the driver asked.

  “No,” Aaron Langley said disappointed. “It isn’t him. It isn’t even a man. It’s a woman,” he said disgustedly.

  The mounted policewoman smiled and waved at the exuberant boys as they called to her through open windows. The horse looked in their direction but went quietly on his way.

  The Congressmen had arranged to meet the boys in a room that was reserved for news interviews. The boys had studied how laws were made and bills were passed, therefore, they were able to converse intelligently with the politicians and to ask sensible questions.

  Leaving the room they were walking down a ten feet wide hall when Pat Sinaguglia gave a strangled gasp. “Is that who I think it is?” he whispered loudly. “Look.” he shakily pointed to a man coming toward them followed by several people with cameras.

  “Is it the President?” Alex blurted.

  “No, even better,” Dan Baxter spluttered tripping over his own feet and stepping on Herb’s feet as he leaped forward. “It’s Arnold Swartzie-who’s-it.”

  An embarrassed Tim spoke up. “Arnold Schwarzenegger. Hello, sir. I’m sorry. My friend didn’t mean to insult you. It’s just that we admire you so much and are impressed to see you in person.”

  “Young man, you’re surely a diplomat.” Arnold said with one of his famous smiles. Being a gentleman and one who loves children, he could understand the attention the boys were giving him. He graciously sat on the floor with his back against the wall and motioned for the boys to join him. He talked to them and listened a lot. He answered questions about his movie career, his family and his job as Governor of California. For about fifteen minutes the cameras whirred and reporters frantically made notes. Additional politicians, secretaries and other workers were drawn to the group. The reporters asked Herb for information about the group.

  Getting to his feet, Arnold smiled widely and said, “Goodbye, fellows. Have a great time and happy birthday to the twins. Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to join you on the birthday next year.” He waited patiently while the twins explained where they would be the next year. Herb was pleased that the twins seemed to be feeling better about the move. At least they were telling others about it in an enthusiastic manner.

  “Boy,” Arnold exclaimed, “that sounds like a lot of fun. I would love to go with you. Good luck to you and your family. I’d like to hear about your adventures. Bye now.” He waved to all of them and walked away with the entourage following. Ben Dyang, being a very polite boy, followed him to thank him again. The politicians, who had gathered, were as amused as Herb was embarrassed.

  “I need to apologize for taking so much time -- and all this space. Thank you for your kindness in meeting with this motley crew and thank you for your patience. I’m sure the boys enjoyed the visit as much as I did.”

  “Thank you. Thank you,” the boys called out as they trooped off.

  “We enjoyed it as much as the youngsters did, Senator Warner smiled.

  “Yes, we need to thank you. I can hardly wait to tell my own children about this,” a Congressman grinned. “It was a treat for us, too.”

  Tired, but animated, the boys boarded the bus again and later followed Herb into the Roy Rogers Beef House for dinner.

  They rode home, high with the excitement of the day, but as the miles slipped by, they began to feel sad. The day for the Jackson family to leave was so close. Subdued and sleepy boys slumped in their seats as they traveled over Key Bridge and home to Fairfax.

  Bursting into the house, the twins talked at the same time telling their mother and sister about the day. Anna was thrilled that they visited with Arnold Schwarzenegger. “It isn’t fair,” she moaned, “I would have been there all day and wouldn’t have seen anyone interesting.

  “Don’t whine, darling.” Irene put an arm around Anna. “You do and see a lot of good things and have met a lot of nice people. Boys, did you go to the White House?”

  “No, Mom,” Tim answered. “We’ve been there. We wanted to see places we haven’t seen or had not seen enough.”

  “Benn there, done that,” Tom said over a yawn and thought I wonder if dad really did take us as a bribe to go to Alaska? No. Shame on me. He does for us all of the time. What difference would it make anyway?

  Chapter Four

  Herb sat up in bed with a start. He was awakened by Galena’s cold nose stuck against his face. What was that noise? Irene grumbled sleepily but did not open her eyes. Herb got up quietly, put on robe and slippers, and tiptoed down the hall. “Brrr. It’s a chilly spring,” he whispered to Galena padding beside him. He crept down the stairs trying not to trip over Galena. Passing through the front hall, he took a baseball bat out of the closet in case he needed to defend himself.

  Galena was jumping at the dining room window. Was someone trying to break in? Herb couldn’t see anything threatening, so he eased out the back door and walked quietly around the house to outside the dining room. Still nothing. There must have been something for Galena to be disturbed.

  He whirled with his heart beating double time when Galena began to jump and bark against a gigantic oak tree beside the house. Looking up in the branches, Herb was startled to see a figure moving around.

  “Come down right now. I have a gun. I don’t want to shoot you,” Herb bellowed angry and a little frightened.

  “Aw, Dad. Who could you shoot with a baseball bat? Besides, you don’t own a gun. You don’t approve of having guns in a home.”

  “Tom! Is that you, Tom? What are you doing up in that tree. Come down this instant.” Tom was laughing until he could hardly climb down.

  “March yourself into the house, young man.” Inside, Tom and Herb were met by the rest of the family.

  “What were you doing outside, Tom? Irene was puzzled.

  “Dorf brain. It’s five thirty-five,” Tim grumbled. “It’s even too early for the chickens.” Anna k
nelt hugging Galena and waited sleepily for Tom’s explanation.

  Tom was grinning until he got a good look at his dad’s expression in the light; then his face fell and he instantly grew serious. “Well, I woke up a little after five and knew it was time for Jason to deliver the papers. He’s one of my best friends, and the other day he suggested that if I ever wanted to talk about our move that he was available to listen. There was something I wanted to discuss with him.

  “What was it?” Tim demanded.

  “Jason suggested that if Tim and I didn’t want to go to Alaska, that maybe we could stay here with friends.”

  “Right on. Great idea,” Tim yelled.

  “Wrong. Bad idea,” Irene said firmly. “Do you mean you would be willing to stay behind and let the rest of us go off with Galena and not see us for three years?” Irene was astonished and hurt.

  “Taking two thirteen year old boys, willful boys at that, and being responsible for them for that length of time is a responsibility that few people would want to try.” Herb was angry. “We’ve always made important decisions as a family. I’m disappointed, no, I’m hurt, that you would be willing to break up the family and talk to someone outside the family about it.”

  “Tom, I’m not happy about leaving Virginia either, but -- break up our family. Ah, no. We have good parents that have always listened to us and considered our feelings and have furnished everything that is good for us. Sometimes give us things just for fun. Oh, how could you?” Anna spluttered and choked up.

  “Well -- I admit I didn’t think it through. I just had a thought and flew with it. I didn’t even tell Tim. No, I don’t want to break up our family, but none of us really want to move and go to that place.”

  “Thomas Harrison Jackson, I’m sorry you feel as you do. It is my work and maybe I got too excited and didn’t consider family.” Herb spoke softly with bowed head.

  “Stop it.” Irene ordered. “You are supporting us and you have a right to enjoy your work and want something better for yourself. We’re proud of you and are grateful for the good life you’ve provided for us.” She turned to glare at Tom.

  Tom had cringed in hearing his full name knowing how angry and hurt his dad would be to call him by the full name.

  Irene stood in front of Tom. “Why would you go out the window and down the tree? It’s so dangerous. Why wouldn’t you walk quietly down the stairs and out the front door?” she asked angrily.

  “He does that a lot,” Tim piped up. “I told you he’s a dorf brain.

  “It’s better than being a mushy pea brain.” Tom hit Tim on the shoulder which Tim quickly returned.

  “That’s enough from both of you.” Herb was more angry after hearing the full story and knowing that Tom had made a habit of climbing out the window and down the tree. He glared at Tom. “You disturbed all of us for something that could have been dangerous and certainly could have waited until tomorrow. Suppose you had fallen and broken your back making a cripple of yourself for life. Or you might even have had an injury and caused brain damage.”

  “You gotta have a brain to damage it,” Tim chortled.

  “Both of you. Go to your room -- now. You can come down for breakfast at the usual time, then you’ll return to your room until your dad and I decide what we’ll do about this.” Irene was frustrated.

  “Aw, Mom. That’s not fair. I didn’t do anything,” Tim protested.

  “You contributed to the general confusion. Go.” Irene glared at them.

  The twins stomped up the stairs and slammed the door to their room. Tom threw himself on his back on his bed and hugged a pillow to his chest. Tim backed against the wall and slid to the floor, wrapping his arms around his drawn-up knees and slightly rocking himself.

  Tom pounded the pillow with his fist. “I’m so gosh darned mad. Why should I be punished for having my own opinion? I have rights, too.”

  Tim looked up with misty eyes. “I’m angry, too. You have to admit that you’re the one that did the stupid things that caused our parents to worry and be upset. What you did was so dangerous. I didn’t do anything and I’m getting punished the same as you. No that isn’t fair.”

  “Forgive me for being such a devil in this family when you’re such an angel,” Tom spat sarcastically sitting up.

  “Shut up, Tom. I’m not calling you names. You are so obnoxious sometimes,” Tim answered with hurt in his voice.

  “Well, Mr. Goody-Goody. You just haven’t happened to get caught. You’ve done bad thing, too, Tim.”

  “I’m not a goody-goody. Yes, I’ve done things I shouldn’t, and maybe mom and dad didn’t happen to catch me, but I’ve never gotten up in the dark, woke the whole family, and did something so stupid and dangerous.”

  “Okay. Okay. I’m sorry, Tim. I have no business being mad at you. I’m the one who’s guilty and I’ll have to take my punishment like a man.” Tom rolled on his back looking thoughtfully at the ceiling. “What do you think they’ll do to me?”

  “That’s hard to say. The fact that they’re taking time to discuss it proves that your punishment will be a dilly. If I could ever learn to keep my mouth shut, I wouldn’t be in trouble, too.”

  “Thanks a lot. Just what I needed -- encouragement.”

  Tim stood and went to brush his teeth again, then crawled into his bed. Tom laughed. “Why did you brush your teeth again?” Tim shrugged his shoulders and turned out the light. All that could be heard was the click of Galena’s nails as she patrolled the house protecting her family.

  Tim came bouncing down for breakfast as Tom walked in subdued and anxious. Neither boy mentioned the previous activity. They sat quietly sliding glances at each other and the rest of the family. Galena sensed the tension and walked around the table whining and pushing her nose against each one.

  After a nearly silent breakfast, Herb pushed his chair back and sipped his coffee staring at Tom and making him uneasy. Finally he spoke. “Tom, your mother and I have reached a decision. I don’t want any arguing or whining. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, sir,” Tom answered softly.

  Tim was sorry for his twin and tried to lighten the air. “Hey, Dad. Did we tell you how much we enjoyed the day in D.C.? We really do appreciate you taking the time to come all the way back and give us such a neat surprise. You spent a lot of money and we appreciate it.”

  “Tim, you may be excused. Go straight to your room and don’t try to stand in the hall and listen. Anna, you may be excused, also.” Herb spoke quietly.

  Anna looked as if she would like to say something, but she went with an arm around Tim. In the hall Anna shook Tim’s shoulder. “When are you going to learn that flattery doesn’t get you everything?” She looked sympathetically at Tim.

  Tom wriggled in his chair and looked anxiously from Irene to Herb. Galena put her head on Tom’s lap as if she, too, sympathized with him.

  Herb sat a few minutes looking down in his cup. He slowly raised his head and looked at Tom. “Son, you know how much I love you -- we love you. What you did was not only dangerous but unnecessary. And you disturbed the family’s rest. How would you have felt if a neighbor happened to look out to see a figure in our tree, jumped to the conclusion that someone was breaking in and called the police? They certainly would not have thought it was funny. You must learn to analyze situations, think before you act and accept responsibility for your actions.” He drew a long, slow breath.

  “Responsible parents give their children guidance while allowing them to grow and learn through personal experiences. Sometimes an experience is not a wise choice. I hope you learn from it, to think before you act, and to consider the feelings of others.”

  “Yes, sir. I sure have. May I be excused?”

  “Not yet, dear,” Irene said. “We haven’t discussed what you are to do.” She patted Tom’s back and reached to hug Galena who pushed her head between Irene and Tom.

  “Now then,” Herb continued, “you will go to Sunday School and church tomorrow as usual. But
you’ll spend the afternoon in your room while Tim goes skating and eating out with your friends. You need to think about what you’ve done and be able, later today, to tell me what you’ve learned from this.”

  As Tom got up, Irene took his hand, “Don’t forget to change the sheets on your bed and bring all dirty clothes to the laundry room. That includes towels and wash cloths as well as linens and clothes. Remind Tim to do the same. Here’s the furniture polish and a rag. While you’re doing the polishing, Tim can run the vacuum in your room. Anna will vacuum the hall after she has finished her room. I could use some help in the rose garden for a little while after you boys finish. Dad’s going to be cleaning out the basement and packing some things he wants.”

  Tom hung his head and nodded. He drug out of the room and slapped up the stairs. He stumbled to his bed and fell across it. “Parents. Who need ‘em?” he muttered.

  “Gosh. Was it that bad?” Tim asked in a soft, sympathetic voice.

  Tom thought a minute them rolled to his side, propping an elbow on his thigh and cupping his face in his hand. “Truthfully? No, not that bad, and I shouldn’t feel badly toward our parents. I did bring this on myself and they do love us or they wouldn’t get upset and worry so much. But I’m still mad at the whole situation.” He sighed and rolled on his back with his hands clasped behind his head.

  “Well for gosh sakes, if you don’t tell me quick what they said, I’ll --I’ll”

  “All right. Keep your britches on. It truly isn’t all that bad except you have to promise me one thing.”

  “Sure. What?”

  Tom told Tim what his punishment would be. “Promise me you’ll not breathe a word of this to the guys. I would just die if they knew how stupid I’ve been.”

  “I promise. I won’t talk about it. But what’ll I tell them when you don’t go with us tomorrow?”

  “I don’t know. Tell them I got sick and had to stay in bed.”