Too Late... I Love You

by Archer, Kiki

  “I don’t remember it being on your profile.”

  Maria nodded again. “It is.”

  “Oh. Okay.” The pause was awkward. “Is there another mummy? Or a daddy on the scene?”

  “No. Just me. Is that a problem?”

  “No, I… How old is she?”

  “She’s three.”

  “But you’re in finance, right?”

  Maria shook her head. “Nope. I own Mariano’s coffee shop down the road.”

  “Oh. Right. Okay.”

  “Have you confused me with someone else?”

  “No, no, I’m…” The woman sighed. “Things have been so up in the air at work that I’ve been skim-reading all the un-essentials and trying to focus on the important tasks in hand.”

  Maria laughed. “And here we are on that un-essential date.”

  “No, I didn’t mean it like that.” The woman paused and smiled. “I’m sorry. Can I start again? Let me get you a drink?”

  ****

  The atmosphere in the small terraced house was calm and the quiet, kind whispers were welcomed by all. Karl rubbed the back of his girlfriend’s hair and hushed into her ear. “Say the word and I’ll stay.”

  Connie’s head was resting on his shoulder. She shook it gently. “You were right. Things will be better. I’m sorry for storming away last night.”

  “No, I should have followed you up and I shouldn’t have run off to work this morning.”

  Connie pulled back and looked at him. The dark circles beneath his eyes were ageing him badly. “It’s given me time. Come on. I miss your smile. Sell me the schedule.”

  “There doesn’t have to be a hard sell. I’ll stay. I’ll do whatever you want.”

  “I want you to be happy. You were right. You’re young, you’ll find someone new. You’ll live the life you were meant to live, not the one you were forced into by me.”

  Karl straightened. “You’re not saying this because you want to find someone new, are you?”

  “No, you wanted this.”

  “Only because…” He massaged his temples and held onto his words. “No. You’re right. We both know this is for the best. I’ll be moving up to Manchester next weekend. We’re renting a flat near the offices.”

  “You and Louise?”

  “No, the company. And why would you say it like that?”

  “I’m just asking.”

  He couldn’t help himself. “No, you’re asking in that tone of voice.”

  “I am not.”

  “You are.”

  Connie scrunched up her face. “And here’s why we’re doing this. We’re squabbling. We’re always squabbling.”

  “You squabble, I don’t.”

  “Yes you do.”

  “No I don’t.”

  Both managed to smile, with Connie giving in first. “I’m sorry.”

  Karl sighed. “No, I’m sorry too.” Then he nodded, as if solidifying his plans. “I’ll work up there all week and come home on Fridays. I’ll stay with Mum at the weekends.”

  “I bet she’s thrilled.”

  “She is.”

  “I know! I wasn’t being sarcastic. Evelyn’s got her little boy back from the wild-haired hag who trapped him with a child.”

  “She likes you, Connie.”

  “No she doesn’t.”

  “She does and we’ll come next Saturday morning to pick him up. He can stay the night with us and I’ll bring him back on Sunday. Or he can stay here Saturday night and I’ll come back for him again the next day. It’s up to you. Or we can do something together. Whatever you think will work best.”

  “Shall we play it by ear?”

  Karl smiled. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For just being you. And I’m not a bad man, Connie. I’ll still be there for my son whenever he needs me.”

  “I know.”

  ****

  Maria watched the woman’s dark ponytail swing from side to side as her story reached its finale.

  “So anyway, he’s gone home tonight to tell her he’s staying and that his family comes first.”

  Maria frowned. “But it doesn’t?”

  “I’m not sure.” Maria’s date paused and leaned in closer. “I made the drunken mistake of kissing him once. Office Christmas party, far too much booze. Anyway, I’ve not heard the end of it since.”

  Maria smiled. “Must have been a good kiss?”

  “It should never have happened.”

  “No, I meant…” She turned her attention back to her plate. Connie would have quipped back. She’d have got the flirtation and replied with one inappropriate innuendo or another. Maria cut into her steak and wondered how to continue the conversation. The Hawksmoor was buzzing and the food was divine, she just needed that extra bit of sparkle from her very gorgeous date to enhance the evening. Maria decided to add a teasing edge to her tone. “Does he know that you’re gay, or is kissing male colleagues a habit of yours?”

  The reply was as blunt as the woman’s fringe. “You’re not in the bash-a-bisexual brigade are you?”

  Maria smiled even wider. “I don’t mind bashing a bisexual.”

  The expression softened as the woman finally got the joke. “I just like to keep my work life and home life pretty separate; not that I get much time for a home life with the business the way it’s been.”

  “But you’ve been working together for ten years?”

  Louise Killshaw nodded.

  “And this…” Maria wiggled her fingers. “This… this… what’s he called?”

  “Karl.”

  “This Karl doesn’t know that you’re gay, or bisexual, or that you date women or whatever it is that you do?”

  “I do date women and, no, I don’t know if he knows.” She smiled. “What I do know is that I’m enjoying this date with this woman.”

  Maria looked over at the plate opposite. Her date had ordered a salad even though the Hawksmoor was known for its steaks. She wondered how much enjoyment anyone could ever actually get from a salad. “Really?”

  “Really.”

  Reaching for her wine glass Maria imagined what Connie would have chosen had she been there: probably the rib-eye steak with lashings of Béarnaise sauce or the fillet with smoked Stilton hollandaise. She froze, suddenly making the connection.

  “Are you okay?” asked Louise.

  “Your company’s an insurance company, right?”

  The woman nodded. “That’s right.”

  “And Karl’s girlfriend? She’s called Connie, isn’t she? And their boy’s called Noah?”

  “Oh god, you don’t know them do you? I really shouldn’t have said anything. Do you know her? Are you good friends?”

  “It’s fine.” Maria remembered that morning and Connie’s arrival. She’d been her usual bubbly self, and she’d certainly not mentioned Karl or any impending separation. She felt her heart drop, realising she was hurt that she didn’t know more. “I don’t know them that well at all.”

  “But you know of them?”

  “I know Connie from playgroup.” Maria frowned. “This definitely happened last night?”

  “Yes. He told her he’d had enough. We’ve got offices opening in Manchester and he’s going to front the whole process.” Louise shrugged. “But he left work tonight saying he was heading home to plead for forgiveness. I really shouldn’t have said anything, but you know how it is, leaving work and letting off steam.”

  “Noah’s the same age as my little girl.”

  Louise spoke quickly, desperately wanting to cover her indiscretion. “Even more reason to give them some space. They’ve got lots to sort out.”

  Maria looked down at her plate, her appetite suddenly gone. “Do you know Connie well?”

  “I’ve met her on occasion. Such a shock when they got together, I never thought he’d be the type to settle down. But anyway, Karl said she was distraught when he told her he wanted out. That’s probably the reason why he’s backing away from Manch
ester.” She lowered her voice. “I think Connie can be somewhat temperamental. She’s young.”

  “You can’t be that much older than her, can you?”

  “I’m thirty-two like you.”

  “I’m thirty-five.”

  “Oh. I must…”

  “So, who is this mystery thirty-two-year-old woman who works in finance and doesn’t have children?”

  The teeth were out in impressive force. “I don’t know, but I’m glad she’s not here. You might be the best wrong button I’ve ever pressed.”

  Maria shrugged. “You have to press the right buttons with me.”

  The knife and fork were laid down and the intense look across the table was meant with sincerity. “I’m sorry. I was late from work. Flustered. This stuff with Karl was racing around in my mind. I spoke before I thought. I let off steam.” She looked down at her plate. “But my worst mistake was ordering this salad because I thought you’d judge me if I ordered the steak.” Louise picked up a lettuce leaf with her fingers, dangling it with dismay. “And then you ordered the steak after me and now I’m sitting here salivating because it looks utterly delicious.” She paused and looked up at Maria. “Can I start again?”

  Maria laughed quietly and nodded. “Okay then. Three questions. Ask me three questions.”

  “About you?”

  “About my life. Things I might like to talk about.”

  “Okay, well I now know that you’re thirty-five, and I now know that you own Mariano’s coffee shop. So I guess I’d like to find out: One, why you’re blind-dating. Two, how you ended up with your own coffee shop. And then three, I’d just like to check one final time that you’re not going to tell Connie and Karl what I said. I hope you can understand that the chances of me going on a date tonight with someone who knows them is so slim, and I was just chatting away about my work day without even thinking.”

  Looking across the table at the pretty woman sitting opposite her, Maria could do nothing but exhale her disappointment. “She’s called Alice. My daughter’s called Alice.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Connie’s dour mood was made even more obvious by Ryan’s dazzling Malta tan and over excitement at being back at the playgroup. She frowned at him. “You’re acting like this is the most enthralling place on Earth.”

  “But they’ve got a new ride-on!”

  “They always get new ride-ons.”

  Ryan nodded towards the centre of the room. “But that one’s got a horn!”

  “Ryan, you missed one week.” She looked around at the mixture of frantic mothers and hyperactive children. “We’re at the crappy community centre. You’ve been to Malta. This shouldn’t be a highlight.”

  “Oh but it is, and we’ve got so much to talk about.”

  “I’m just a bit tired.”

  “Darling, I bought you Dior!”

  “I know you did, thank you.” She glanced once more towards the entrance.

  “A Dior scarf. It’s Dior, darling! You do realise the attention it’ll bring you, especially from…” He paused, following Connie’s longing gaze. “Oh god, I get it now. She’s not here, that’s the reason for your ghastly depressing face.”

  Connie turned back around. “I haven’t got a ghastly depressing face, and I’ve no idea who you’re talking about.”

  The perfectly plucked eyebrows rose two inches. “Your hair’s been brushed and you’re wearing blusher. Last time you wore blusher was at our Year Eleven prom.”

  “It was not.”

  “At least you’ve held off on that god-awful blue eye shadow this time.”

  “Oh stop it, Ryan.”

  “And that top’s new. I’ve seen all of your tops a billion times over and that one’s definitely new. It’s still too baggy for you, but at least it’s got a pretty design on it. Honestly, Connie, when are you going to start wearing fitted clothes that actually show off your cracking little figure?”

  “I prefer it when you talk about my ghastly face.”

  He nodded towards the entrance. “We’re forty-five minutes in. If she was coming she’d be here by now.” He gasped. “Wait! There’s someone coming!”

  Connie spun back around. “Where?”

  “There! Oh, hang on, it’s not her.” He squinted. “Looks like more fresh blood though. Maybe you could show your blusher and scarf off to this new hotty?”

  Connie looked at the woman who had entered the hall, hushing a red-faced girl who was screaming to get out of her pushchair. “She’s not hot.”

  “Ooo so you can pass judgement on a woman’s desirability?”

  “Of course I can.”

  “And she doesn’t do it for you?”

  “No.”

  “What does do it for you, Miss Parker?”

  “Maria’s my friend. How many times do I have to say it? She’s my friend.” She paused and shrugged. “Or was.”

  “How many days now?”

  Connie lifted her eyes to the ceiling as if counting backwards. She didn’t need to, she already knew to almost the hour. “Five days.”

  “So you last saw her at the amazing play day at her house on Friday?”

  “Stop being sarcastic. It was amazing.”

  “I know, you told me.” He scraped his chair closer to Connie’s knees and inhaled deeply, adding weight to his instruction. “Just text her.”

  “No. When I left her house she said she’d call me about doing something this week. But she obviously went on that date with that perfect lesbian and forgot all about me.”

  Ryan sniffed with indifference. “No, she’s probably still shacked up with her in bed. That’s what lesbians do. They hook up, spend a week shagging nonstop, only pausing to order in food and sex toy supplies, then they decide who’s going to move in with whom.”

  “They do not.”

  “Connie my dearest, they do. On the plus side it’s only a matter of time. When she’s stopped shagging she’ll give you a call.”

  “And I’m meant to be grateful for that am I?”

  Ryan sat taller in his seat and tilted his bald head. He looked bewildered. “Darling, you’re not her wife. What’s got into you? You get one friend and suddenly you turn all single white female?”

  Connie fidgeted in her seat and sighed. “I just hoped she’d be here.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’ve not heard from her, and she’s been here for the past two weeks.”

  “Is that all?”

  “I like her company. We’ve had fun. It’s been nice. And yes, maybe you’re right. I have missed having friends and maybe I am taking a while getting used to the rules again.”

  “Darling, with true friends there are no rules. There’s no second guessing. There’s just friendship.” He nodded. “You just know.”

  “So Maria and I aren’t real friends then?”

  “No, you’re probably not.”

  “But she’s the one who keeps talking about us being real friends.”

  Ryan rubbed his own temples. “Oh god, darling, this is boring me now, and I never thought I’d say this, but can we talk about Karl instead?”

  Connie tutted. “No.”

  “Good, sorry, you’re right. I don’t know what got into me. A momentary lapse of judgement. The last thing I want to do is talk about that man. Two days left though?”

  “He’s moving up this weekend and he’s back next weekend.”

  “Noah okay?”

  “He’s fine.”

  Ryan exhaled, relieved. “Good, that’s all we need to say on the matter, now go chat up that new woman.”

  “No.”

  “Not exotic enough for you, like Maria?”

  Connie widened her eyes at the scene across the hall, drawing Ryan’s attention to it. “No, it’s her exorcist child that’s putting me off.”

  ****

  Maddalena shooed Maria from behind the counter in the Covent Garden branch of Mariano’s coffee shop, forcing her towards the tall stools even though she was half th
e size and more than double the age of her niece. “Out, out, out.”

  “No, let me relieve you for a bit. Why don’t you have a quick play with Alice in the pen? She loves coming in here to see you.”

  The old woman tightened the bow at the back of her black barista’s apron and shuffled back towards the cakes counter. “You make bambini playpen so good, no bambini need grown-ups.”

  “Well sit down then. Get yourself a coffee. Take a break for a minute.” Maria knew what was coming. Her aunt Maddalena would thicken her Italian accent and furrow her weathered wrinkles further, transitioning into the mafia aunt she never dared mess with as a child.

  “I say out! Fuori, Maria!”

  Maria decided to try her luck. “How about I sit down with you? We need to talk about the shop.”

  The old eyes squinted with suspicion. “The shop don’t need you. We be working well since you gone.” Maddalena folded her arms and tapped her toe in her well-worn slip-ons. “Is that why you come, Maria? To tell me you back? Why you not work in Shoreditch, closer to home?”

  Maria smiled and softened her voice. “No, Aunt Maddalena. I don’t know what I want, that’s why I want to talk to you. You’ve done a fantastic job here.”

  “Done?”

  “You’re doing. Please, five minutes? Even if we just talk about keeping things exactly as they are.”

  “We keep things same?”

  “Yes, exactly the same.”

  “Grazie a Dio!” The old woman lifted her hands and looked around at the room that was running to perfection with a steady buzz of customers and an efficient array of staff. “Everything perfect. You not change things when everything perfect.”

  “I know.”

  “We do weekly meeting at your home, like usual. It work for past three years. I know business, Maria. You know I know business. I ran bistro of your father for decades, god bless you, Marti, with your lazy Italian,” she used her finger to outline the cross over her heart, “but good-natured soul.” She closed her eyes and tilted her head up to the Lord. “Che Dio vi benedica.”

  Maria dared to place her arm around her aunt’s shoulder and gently guide her away from the counter. “Aunt Maddalena, this place is yours, we both know that, and I’m more than happy with the way everything’s going.” She pulled out a chair and encouraged her aunt to sit. “It’s just Alice. She’s getting older and she’ll be in nursery soon. I need to do something more with my time, with my life.”