Too Late... I Love You

by Archer, Kiki

  Maddalena realised she was being forced into her seat and bundled her way back up, waving her hands at their surroundings. “You have two Mariano’s! You huge success! You want for nothing!”

  Maria gently pushed her elderly, yet feisty, aunt back into her seat. She waited for a moment to check she was staying put before sitting next to her and reaching out for her strong, wrinkled hands. “I love you, Aunt Maddalena. Maybe I just came in today because I’m feeling a little bit bored.”

  “No, you come today to go behind counter. You not go behind counter. What change? Usually you sit and drink coffee while Alice play in bambini pen.”

  “Yes, usually I do. But Alice is ready for nursery. She’s ready for more.” Maria nodded. “So am I.”

  The hands were snatched back and the arms were folded. Maddalena looked away from her niece. “You own shop. You free to come and go when you please.”

  “I know you like running ship around here and I’m not going to change that. I just don’t know whether I should look into opening another branch, or maybe working in Shoreditch permanently.”

  Her aunt shook her head. “No. Tony good manager. You boss, Maria.” She shook her head again. “Maria Mariano not need to work shop floor.”

  “Dad always did.”

  “Pfft. He just get in way like you do. Mariano’s not restaurant. Coffee shop simple. Press buttons for drinks, scoop out cakes.”

  Maria smiled. “So why do you like working here then?”

  “I very good with customers. They like little old Italian lady.”

  Maria laughed. “They certainly do.”

  “I know what you need.” The thick accent became even more gravelly. “You need lady.”

  “Pardon?”

  “You heard me. You need lady friend. Never liked last one, or one before that. You need nice one.”

  “I’m looking, Aunt Maddalena.”

  “I babysit whenever you need. Not all dates be bad like last one.”

  “She messaged me and asked if I wanted to see her again.”

  Maddalena banged her fist on the small round table. “No! You say she not ask about Alice. No good. No good at all. You say she no good. I know she no good.”

  “She had me confused with someone else; she wasn’t aware of Alice at the start.”

  “She date too much then. You need nice lady.”

  Maria smiled at her animated aunt. “She was pretty.”

  “Pfft, look at me. Pretty lady be wrinkled and short in no time. You need good heart. Good heart last forever.”

  “You’ve been okay on your own.”

  “I never find good heart.”

  Maria couldn’t help it. She spoke quietly. “Or pretty lady?”

  “Non capisco.”

  “Maybe you never found—”

  The voice was louder and the accent was thicker. “Non capisco. Ho bisogno di tornare al lavoro.”

  Maria watched as her aunt stood up and shuffled away from the table, still chattering under her breath. Everyone knew that when the non capisco, the I don’t understand, was muttered, then all bets were off and no more discussion would be had. Maria smiled to herself and looked over at the large playpen where Alice and a few other children were seemingly engrossed in an episode of Peppa Pig. She turned her attention back to the counter where Maddalena had slotted herself between the three other baristas and was already working in sync once more. She sighed. Maddalena was right. No one needed her and no one was missing her. Closing her eyes for a moment she absorbed the quiet buzz of the shop. She was free to travel down any path she chose, but with no destination in mind it was hard to move away from the crossroads. She smiled. Connie would be able to make some sort of quote out of that. Opening her eyes she reached for her phone, scrolling down to Connie’s name. But she stopped, remembering Louise’s advice. Maybe Louise was right. Maybe Connie and Karl did need time. If Connie wanted her involved then she’d have involved her. But she hadn’t, so she probably didn’t. Closing the contact, Maria opened Louise’s message instead.

  ****

  “Oh my good god, she just bit him!”

  Ryan gasped at his friend’s shock. “Who?”

  “Exorcist girl. She just bit Lucas. And look, poor Earth Mother’s just hovering around. She doesn’t know what to do.”

  “She needs to tell her off, or go and tell the mother!”

  Connie continued to watch the action at the wendy house. “Exorcist girl’s mother is pretending she didn’t see. She’s walking away. I hate it when they do that.”

  “Earth Mother needs to say something. Look, Lucas is crying. Crikey you can see the red mark on his arm from here.” Ryan flinched.

  “Bad?”

  “No, she’s getting her tit out. This gay man does not want to see that.” He paused. “But really, she should say something.”

  “Earth Mother doesn’t raise her voice when she’s forced to speak normally, so she’s hardly going to cause a scene with that new mum.”

  “Oh, darling, no!” Ryan was peeping through his fingers. “Lucas is on the udder and that girl’s just bitten him again!”

  Connie stood up. “I’m going over. I bonded with Earth Mother last week. I’ll come to her rescue.”

  “Wait, here, take the Savlon.” Ryan reached into Connie’s bag for the small first aid kit she’d carried everywhere since the day Noah was born. “Will he want a plaster too?”

  “Give me the whole thing. I’ll try and make a real song and dance about it so the mother sees.”

  “Connie Parker, I’m away for one week and you suddenly grow a huge pair of bollocks. I must leave you alone more often!”

  “Give me the latex gloves as well. Crusty’s just joined them. I don’t want her flaking all over me while I administer treatment.”

  “You’re still a bitch though.”

  Connie marched over to the wendy house, deliberately looking over at the new woman who was now head down on her phone in the corner. It had happened once or twice to Noah, with children being rough or saying mean things, and Connie always confronted it. Yes, she may be naturally quite shy in her own life, but if anyone ever dared mess with Noah, god help them.

  She crouched next to the biter. “Excuse me, young lady, would you please leave Lucas alone.”

  Crusty, who was standing behind Earth Mother, started to giggle, and Crusty’s son, Lucas’s best friend, wobbled his head around in his bumper helmet and added his knowledge to the event. “New girl called Tabitha.” He spoke with a lisp as he pointed at the little girl. “Tabitha thop biting.”

  Crusty controlled her nervous giggles and timidly echoed her son, bending to address the new child. “Yes please, could you go back to your mother, please?”

  The wild girl snapped her teeth together at Crusty, causing her to fall backwards from her crouched position. “MY wendy house!”

  Connie moved even closer. “It is NOT your wendy house and you DO NOT bite.”

  The girl snapped her teeth at Connie, but Connie stayed put, executing her best death stare. “NO BITING.”

  “Waaaaa-aaaa!” The little girl raced away, straight to her mother.

  Crusty’s giggles were now rather panicked. “She’ll tell!”

  Connie tried to ignore the slurping sound coming from Lucas and the udder, taking the lid off the antiseptic cream instead and squeezing some onto her own hand as a form of distraction. “Her mother won’t come over. Didn’t you see the way she disappeared when the girl started biting?” Turning her attention to Earth Mother she looked from Lucas, to tit, to floor. “Is he okay with Savlon?” she said to no one in particular.

  “Thank you.” The voice was hushed. “That’s very kind of you.”

  Connie applied the cream whilst trying not to see the undulating breast. Instead she looked up at both women. “I’d go and speak to her if I were you. She can’t have her daughter going around biting people.”

  Crusty looked frightened and Earth Mother whispered something too quiet to
hear.

  “Would you like me to go and have a word?”

  “No, no, no, no.” Crusty was shaking her head and Connie found it hard not to imagine a snow globe.

  “Okay, well give me a shout if you need anything else.” She watched as both women fluttered with embarrassment, but nothing more was coming from them so she walked back across the hall to Ryan. “They love me,” she said, feeling every bit the hero.

  “Darling, they don’t.” His eyes didn’t move from the wendy house.

  “They do.”

  “No. Look. They don’t.”

  Connie turned around to see Crusty and Earth Mother in earnest conversation with exorcist girl’s mother, shaking their heads and pointing her way, giving her up and ratting her out faster than a convict with a deal on the table. “They’re telling on me!”

  “Yep, and exorcist girl’s mother is heading this way!”

  Connie stayed standing, she wasn’t tall, but she didn’t want to be sitting when this new woman attacked. “Hi,” she said brightly as the lady arrived, led by the gnashing of her daughter’s teeth.

  The woman’s voice was quieter than expected. “I’m sorry to interrupt but Tabitha said you shouted at her.”

  “I raised my voice slightly because she bit that little boy Lucas over there. There’s a real mark. I had to rub on some Savlon.”

  “They didn’t say anything about a bite. How peculiar.”

  Connie nodded. “Unfortunately she did. She bit him.”

  “Fat lady shout!”

  “Tabitha, we don’t use that word.”

  “Daddy call you fat!”

  “Tabitha, will you please…” The woman looked at Connie apologetically. “Sorry, she’s going through a phase.”

  Trying to ignore her hot cheeks, Connie stayed firm. “She bit.”

  The woman looked down at her daughter. “Tabitha, did you bite?”

  “NO! NO NO NO NO! Lady SHOUT!”

  Connie nodded. “Yes, because you bit.”

  “Lady FAT! Mummy FAT!” Tabitha stamped on her mother’s foot and marched back to the wendy house.

  The woman looked as if she was about to burst into tears. “I’m so sorry. I’m struggling. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have to keep finding new playgroups because she’s just so awful.”

  Connie didn’t know what to say. “It’s….”

  “Hi.” Ryan stood up and offered his hand. “I’m Ryan. We’re no experts but we’ll give you advice if you want it, won’t we, Con?”

  Connie nodded, still dumbstruck by the little girl’s appalling behaviour.

  “I think I’m beyond help,” said the woman, sighing under the weight of her failure. “I’m Phoebe, by the way.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Connie waited for the woman to disappear before quickly twisting to Ryan. “It’s Phoebe!”

  “Yeah, that’s what she said. Poor woman’s at the end of her tether, but wouldn’t you be if you had an exorcist daughter like that?”

  “No! Maria’s friend Phoebe.” Ryan still looked mystified and Connie spoke as quickly as she could. “Maria said she had a best friend from school, some woman who was always there for her, but didn’t agree with her when she said she wanted a daughter. Didn’t think it was right raising a child all alone, or something like that. But it has to be her. She looks about the same age as Maria, doesn’t she?”

  “She’s called Phoebe. Lots of people are called Phoebe.”

  Connie pulled a face. “No they’re not! I need to take a picture of her. I need to send it to Maria.”

  “I thought you weren’t contacting Maria?”

  “This is different. If this woman dared to get on her high horse about how shit Maria would be raising a child then she needs to see the truth.”

  “What? That she’s shit? I think she knows that already.”

  “No, that Maria’s amazing. You’ve seen how advanced Alice is. You’ve seen—”

  “Connie, it’s probably not her.”

  “But it might be.”

  “And that’s your route back in?”

  “No! I just hate it when people judge others. Maria’s an amazing parent and this woman needs to see it. Maria said they used to be best friends. Maybe they can patch things up.”

  “Then you’ll really be out of the loop.”

  “I don’t care. I want to find out.” She handed Ryan her phone and leaned conspiratorially closer. “When she comes back, let her walk as near as possible so she gets in the shot. Then I’ll stand up and pretend I’m posing for a photo. You make sure you get her in the background.”

  “Oh Connie, darling, you’re so sweet.”

  “No I’m not, I’m just nosey. Wouldn’t you love it if this woman had the perfect husband, the perfect family life, yet the wildest most totally uncontrollable daughter, while Maria has the more unconventional home life but her parenting’s all figured out?”

  “The husband’s obviously not perfect if he’s calling her fat.”

  “I know but… Quick! She’s coming!”

  Ryan waited a moment before lifting the phone. “Photo of your new top, Con?”

  Connie jumped up and smiled. “Ooo great!”

  The woman blinked at the flash.

  “Sorry,” said Connie, smiling. “I nearly bumped into you there. Ryan’s been away for the week. He’s obviously missed me.”

  “How long have you two been together? Are you sure you don’t mind me joining you? No one’s ever been this kind before.”

  Connie pointed at the spare chair. “Please. And please come again next week. You can’t keep moving playgroups, it might be one of the reasons why your daughter feels unsettled.”

  “I gave up second guessing my daughter the minute she was born.”

  Ryan leaned forward. “Err, I know you like to keep up the illusion Connie, but you can’t tell people we’re together.”

  “Sorry, no,” She squeezed the firm thigh. “Ryan and I are just friends.”

  “But parents?”

  “No, I’m…” Connie couldn’t find the right words to describe her current status.

  Ryan filled the silence. “Well I’m gay, and Connie’s going through a separation.”

  Pulling her thick blonde hair over her shoulder, Connie shrugged. “I guess I now say I’m single.” She took a deep breath and announced it properly. “I’m a single mum.”

  Phoebe murmured. “What I’d give to be single.”

  “Really?” said Ryan and Connie together. “The grass is never greener,” continued Ryan.

  Connie smiled, remembering Maria’s analogy about her paddock and barn conversion with beautiful sash windows. “Excuse me a minute.” She stood up. “Ryan, could you watch Noah for me, please?”

  ****

  Ducking quickly out of the community hall, Connie sat on one of the comfy chairs in the small reception area. She clicked on her phone and studied the picture, stretching her fingers to enlarge the image of Phoebe. It was slightly grainy, but her face was easy enough to see. She pressed on the forward arrow and sent via text, adding the caption: What do you think?

  The grey speech bubble appeared, signalling that Maria was typing and she felt a burst of adrenaline at the instant response, watching her phone as if willing it to react. The bubble turned to green and the message pinged through.

  I think you look beautiful and I love that pretty top. Is your hair different?

  Connie felt her heart beat even faster. Maria hadn’t even looked at the background, she’d chosen to look straight at her. She replied quickly. No, I mean the woman.

  Yes, beautiful. But like I said the other day, your style’s unique. It’s what makes you you. You’re already all woman x

  Connie was flustered; her fingers hit the wrong keys and autocorrect turned the nonsense into more nonsense. She deleted and corrected before pressing send. In the background. The woman. Is it Phoebe? She tried to calm herself, but it was too difficult. Maria hadn’t just responded, she’d
responded instantly, with affection, or was it flirtation? She read through the thread again, aware that Maria’s response would be long because the grey typing bubble kept appearing, disappearing, then reappearing once more. She held her breath as it finally flashed through.

  Oh my goodness!!!!!! Yes, that’s Phoebe. She’s at the playgroup? Have you been talking to her? Does she have a child? Boy? Girl? What are they like? It’s too late for me to come over, is she coming next week? Could you invite her to Mariano’s? No, forget that, she won’t come. Just see if she’ll do playgroup next week. I’ll come, or you could take Alice for me, or…Oh Connie we need a plan!!! I know you’re going through a difficult time at the moment, don’t ask me how I know, but I do, and I know you chose not to confide in me, which I respect, but I’m here for you if you need me. I feel silly now for thinking you were sending me a picture of you.

  Connie replied quickly. I didn’t think you’d want a picture of me. Have we got our wires crossed?

  Yes. I want you.

  Connie studied her phone, unable to breathe. How had this gone from a picture of Phoebe to that simple sentence that was now sending ripple after ripple of emotion through her body? Connie read it again. I want you. It said: I want you. Maria had just written: I want you. Connie jumped as her phone pinged again.

  Sorry, that sounded wrong. I mean I want you to want me to be there, to confide in, to do playgroups e.t.c

  Trying desperately hard to ignore the chaotic thoughts and feelings racing around her mind, Connie got up. She knew she should speak to Ryan, she should get his advice, she should plan her reply. Instead she abruptly sat back down and ignored herself typing the words. I do want you. You were meant to be calling.

  Sorry. I thought you needed some space?