Up for Forever

by Heather Young-Nichols

  “Hey, Kendra?” A soft voice called me back from my deep sleep. “Hey, come on.” My eyes popped open to Adam whispering very close to my face. His breath fanned over my skin giving me the best kind of tingles even in the grogginess from just waking and the drugs they’d given me for pain. Which weren’t working so well if the little shocks I got with any small movement were any indication. “So this is what it looks like when your face meets an airbag?” My entire body flooded with relief at the sight of him. Adam always looked good and this was no exception, but his face held real concern. I knew I shouldn’t find that surprising, but I did.

  Nodding, I tried to get to my feet but needed a little help because everything had become stiff from sitting so long. Once I was firmly planted on the ground everything seemed to fall into place. Adam said he’d already spoken to the doctor so he knew about my aftercare. The waking me up every couple of hours, how to take care of my wounds, stuff like that.

  Although I tried to be my normal self, I just wasn’t up to it and groaned as I settled into his seat. He climbed in next to me and gave me a once over, I’m sure not for the first time or the hundredth. Man, my head was groggy.

  “What’s that?” he asked, pulling the side of my shirt over. Looking down, I saw a purple bruise running down my chest where the seatbelt had kept me in place. “You ok?”

  “I will be. Just sore and tired. And clearly in need of a shower. My hair feels crusty.” Neither of us spoke right away. Just as I was about to thank him for the ride my phone flashed Flannery’s picture.

  “We’re coming home,” she said before I even had a chance to say hello.

  “Really not necessary.” That’s the last thing I wanted. “Adam’s giving me a ride home then I’ll be fine. Sam’s going to call me every couple of hours just to be sure. You two enjoy time without me hearing every moan. K?”

  Flannery snickered into the phone. “We can come back, Kendra. Are you ok?”

  “Yeah. My car’s not.”

  “Fuck the car.” Flannery didn’t swear much but watch out when she really meant it. “Are you sure?” I sighed, letting her know this was tiring me. “Ok. Cain and I will both leave our phones on tonight. If you need something … call. Got it?”

  “Yes, Mom. I promise no hard drugs, just the soft ones.” Finally, she laughed then promised to call me as soon as they woke up in the morning. “Hey, thanks for the ride, by the way. I was just going to call a cab. Sam overreacts sometimes.”

  “It’s not a problem.” Adam sighed while raking a hand through his light hair. “I didn’t ignore your call, Kendra.”

  “Never said you did.”

  “But I know you. I ran in somewhere and left my phone in the car. I was just getting back when Sam called. Otherwise I would have come right away.”

  “Well, I appreciate that.”

  The ride in Adam’s car was much more comfortable than I would’ve thought for a classic car. I wanted to fall asleep again but didn’t want to waste even a minute alone with him. When we got home, Adam helped me out of the car and inside, which this time we totally took the elevator. No way could I have done stairs. I’m not sure I would’ve been able to get into the apartment alone but that could’ve just been me wanting a reason to touch him.

  Inside, the very first thing I needed was a shower. To do that I had to cover my stitches with one of the waterproof bandages the ER gave me but man, it hurt like hell to raise my left arm and the stitches were on the left side. So hard to do it one handed.

  “Want some help?” I hadn’t notice Adam leaning against the doorjamb of the bathroom. He was just standing there watching me with his arms across his chest. After I nodded, he stalked toward me. It wasn’t a walk. Trying to be gentle, he got the wound covered so I’d be safe to wash the blood out of my hair. I really felt gross and sticky.

  But once I dried off and got in my pajamas, I felt a whole lot better. Just tired. So I climbed onto my bed carefully and got under the covers. Then remembered I needed to have my phone close for when Sam called. Even though the last thing I wanted to do was get up, that’s exactly what I did. Or tried to do anyway. I’d just barely moved when Adam came into the room.

  “Need this?” He waved my cell in the air.

  “Yeah, thanks.” After setting it on the nightstand, he handed me a bottle of water. Drinking it stung my lip, making me wince.

  “You look better. I mean without being spattered with blood.”

  “Ha. Ha. Thanks.” The next gulp went down easier. “Man, today sucks.”

  “When Sam called me, told me you’d been in an accident, I felt like I was going to throw up. Seriously. Don’t do that again.”

  “I didn’t do it. That kid got a lesson I don’t think he’ll forget.”

  “I could wring his neck, you know?” An awkward silence fell over us. One that I wasn’t sure how to end so I said the first thing that came to my mind.

  “I think I’ll be healed up for the wedding. Shouldn’t scare anyone away.” I pushed against the wounds testing for just how much pain was involved. In my mind the amount of pain it caused to touch them the worse than the injury. It was only a few weeks until Flannery and Cain got married and the last thing I wanted was to look like I lost a bar fight. “I’m a quick healer.”

  “You’ll be beautiful. Don’t worry about it.” He still sat next to me with his back against the headboard.

  There were things I’d wanted to say to him for most of the summer but never did for one reason or another. He was dating someone, I got scared then worried he’d moved on and didn’t want to hear it. We had to work really hard to get to the point of being friends again, I mean real friends not pretending to be friends. But I wished the realization of not wanting to be just friends with him had come before I’d fucked it all up.

  “All right, well, I’m going to let Sam know that I’m staying here so he doesn’t have to call all night.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Yeah, I do.” He pulled his phone from his pocket, scrolled through the numbers stored there before selecting Sam’s. “Yeah, she’s fine,” he said. Listening to only half of a conversation between two guys was weird. “Listen, butt muncher, I just wanted to let you know you don’t have to call tonight.” Another pause. “No, I’m staying here … Fuck you.” Man, I wish I knew what Sam said. “Later.” The cell went back into his pocket.

  “What’d he say?”

  “Nothing that matters. Listen,” he shifted toward me, “I’m going to be out on the couch—”

  “Why don’t you just sleep in Cain’s bed?”

  “Gross. No. I can only imagine the things that have happened in his bed. I’m good with the couch.” I laughed before I remembered that it would hurt. And it did. My lip and my cheek. “Anyway, I’ll be out there. Call me if you need anything.”

  I was falling asleep before he made it to the door. Maybe it was all the excitement or maybe the drugs they gave me at the hospital were finally kicking in. Either way, there was no fighting the words that were itching to come out of my mouth.

  “I love you, Adam,” I murmured not knowing if I actually said it out loud. Because I wanted to, had wanted to for months. It was just the tip of the iceberg as far as what I wanted to say to him. But it was the first time I’d said those particular words in a way that was different form how I said them to Flannery. I’d have to deal with that nugget in the morning. I should’ve at least been looking at him when I said that.

  “Love you, too, Kendra,” he said back but sounded so far away I couldn’t be sure I heard him right.

  At some point, I woke in a shit-ton of pain. Every muscle in my body felt over stretched yet tight, like a rubber band that’s been snapped too many times and no longer held any elasticity. My head ached like someone took a sledgehammer to it and my neck was stiff. Car accidents suck.

  Looking around I didn’t see the pain meds the hospital sent home with me so I had to go out searching. Trying to be as quiet as I could,
every movement brought some kind of pain. Not horrific pain but just enough to let me know I was still alive. The floor felt cool against my bare feet when I slipped out of my room trying to think about where Adam would’ve put my things. The kitchen seemed like the only logical choice because the last thing he did was bring me a bottle of water so that’s where I headed.

  I swear I tried not to look at him on the couch. But it didn’t work and he looked the exact same as the night I’d climbed on top of him. Damn it all to hell, he needed to get ugly or something. Or I needed to get a grip because I had never in my life reacted to a guy the way I did to him and I’m guessing it was the love thing. Huh, for the first time in my life, the thought of caring about someone so deeply didn’t turn my stomach. Turning away too quickly, I was reminded of the reason I was out there in the first place and made my way to the kitchen.

  As I’d hoped, my prescription bottle sat on the countertop offering me some relief.

  “What’re you doing?” I jumped at the sound of his voice, making the muscles in my shoulders and back protest the movement.

  “Holy crap. Why are you always sneaking up on me now?”

  “Sorry,” he laughed, “again. Didn’t mean to.”

  “I just needed something for the pain.” I continued to struggle with the childproof cap because even my fingers were stiff from the death grip I’d had on the steering wheel when I crashed.

  “Sit down.” He nodded toward the table. “Hungry?” Shaking my head, my heart did a little flip flop. Here it was three in the morning and he was offering to cook for me. I know he said he loved me in my room before but it had been in that flippant way you tell your friends you care. Probably because he thought that would be the way I’d be most comfortable. “Here ya go.” He sat two pills on the table in front of me with another bottle of cold water.

  We sat there in silence for a while, him watching my every move and me trying not to watch the way the muscles in his stomach and chest contracted at everything he did. I started to suspect that he’d been spending a lot of extra time in the gym. Not because he’d bulked up but everything just seemed more toned. More perfect. More lickable.

  “Have you been working out?” I finally asked.

  He threw me a playful grin. “Is that a pick-up line?”

  “No.” But it could’ve been. “Just looks like you have. If you don’t want me to notice then wear a shirt.”

  “Nope. Looking is fine with me. But yeah, I’ve had a bit of free time lately.” He finished off the water I’d set in front of me. “Ready to get back in bed?” Nodding my answer it took a lot of effort to get moving again.

  Making our way through the open floor plan, I slowed way down but not because anything hurt more than it did before. Adam was walking next to me with his hand on my hip and that wasn’t something I wanted rushed. I wanted to keep him touching me as long as I possibly could because the thought of losing even that slight connection tore my heart up in unspeakable ways. Unfortunately, I still made it to my bed too quickly.

  “Why didn’t you just call me if you needed meds?” Adam asked, sitting gently beside me on the bed, his back against the headboard again just far enough away that our shoulders didn’t touch.

  “Like I’m going to wake you up when I’m perfectly capable of getting it myself. You’re already spending the night here when you could be in your own bed.”

  “I would’ve been getting up in five minutes anyway.”

  “Why?”

  “What do you mean why?” He looked at me like I was the craziest person in the world. “The doctor said you should be checked on every couple of hours.”

  “You’ve been checking on me?”

  “That’s a stupid question. I’ve been setting my alarm.”

  Once again, Adam Burger left me speechless. I was only going to have Sam call to appease the doctor. No idea where it came from but everything crashed into me just like it had in New York. I didn’t even have a chance in hell of holding the tears back. They fell, gushed really like turning on a faucet and as much as it hurt, I felt my body shake with the effort. I was crying like a girl.

  “Hey, hey, hey.” Adam threw an arm around my shoulders letting me rest my head on his. “Is it the pain?” I shook my head. There was pain but that wasn’t what brought on the waterworks. “Then what? Kendra, you’re freaking me the fuck out now.”

  “I just … ” The words wouldn’t come. So I was left sitting beside him just shaking my head.

  “Ok, ok. We’ll talk about it later.”

  That sounded about right. There were so many things I needed to say, the accident just reminded me that shit happens and you need to face your life. I needed to face my life. But all that was for another day. How very Scarlett O’Hara of me.

  “So you said you felt sick when Sam called … ” I said quietly against my pillow. I wanted to talk to him, wanted to hear his voice the way I wanted air, but I couldn’t do the heavy lifting that needed to be done to get this relationship on the move. Not with how tired I was.

  “Yeah, that fucker’s going to get a punch to the nuts next time I see him.”

  Laughing made me wince and I tried readjusting my posture to alleviate some of it. “Why?”

  “He purposely tried to scare me. Don’t worry about it.” He straightened the blanket covering me. “What’s up for tomorrow?”

  “Well, I need to go get my car situated. I’m going to call Flannery and see if I can borrow hers because they’re gone til Sunday.”

  “I’ll take you.” My eyebrows shot up at the offer. “Come on. I worked on cars growing up. I will offer you my expertise. Plus I’m not sure how you plan on driving.”

  “O… k… Other than that I plan on vegging out and starting to heal.”

  “Sounds good to me.” He kissed the side of my head before trying to get off the bed.

  “Adam?” He stopped in his tracks. “Could you just stay in here?” I did not to expect to ask him that and clearly he didn’t either. He was about to protest but I cut him off. “It just … feels nice not to be alone.”

  He sighed then scooted back up the bed and got under the covers beside me. For the first time in quite a while I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  The next morning it took a lot to get me moving. Adam didn’t rush me but I wanted to get the show on the road. However, sore protesting muscles made everything that much harder. Before I’d even gotten out of bed he was there with more pain meds and more water. He also insisted I stay put while he pulled clothes out for me. Since I’d planned on a pair of flat sandals just to make it easy on me, I picked the appropriate shorts and shirt. The pile laying next me was yet another mountain to overcome. This shit was going to hurt.

  “Do you want some help?” he offered with a very sincere look on his face that almost hid the fact that he really wanted me to say no.

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I’ve seen you naked before so it’s not a problem.” Then he smiled and said, “Actually, it’s not even a hardship.” After I nodded one quick one, he came into my personal bubble of space. Adam was always sexy but first thing in the morning took it to a whole new level. Messy hair, even deeper voice, there was nothing to complain about.

  Since I was sitting, he started with the bottom. Thankfully, I’m the kind of girl that wears underwear to bed so all those bases were covered. But the pajama bottoms still slid down my legs slow enough to become torture, I just had to lift my hips a little at first. The backs of his fingers left a scorching trail down each of my legs before he put my feet into the legs of my shorts and got those in place much quicker. I had to stand so he could get them all the way up. As soon as he pushed the button through the hole, I sat gently back on the edge of the bed with a groan. This is where the real pain was going to hit me. Back up on my feet, I painfully raised my arms for him to work on the top half.

  “Turn around.” He circled his finger in the air to show he meant it.r />
  “Why?”

  “Kendra … turn around.” His teeth mashed together when he spoke making me giggle. As gently as possible, he finagled my tank top over my head, then grabbed my bra and slid it up my arms fastening it in back. I took care of making sure the girls were arranged the way they should be. I could only ask the guy for so much. It might have been wrong of me, but I kept hoping this was as hard for him as it was for me. Being so close, sometimes half-naked.

  “What?” he asked when I giggled.

  “You’re dressing me instead of undressing me.”

  “I know. That’s something I’m going to have to deal with in a minute.” I didn’t get what he meant. I blamed the meds. Next came the shirt I’d chosen. A linen button up that I thought would be easier to get in and out of. Finally, his comment made sense when I turned back around while finishing with the buttons and brushed against the front of his boxers. The meaning became suddenly crystal clear and I couldn’t hold in the giggles no matter how much they hurt me. And boy did they hurt.

  “Really?” I cocked an eyebrow at him. “I’m bruised and broken here.”

  “You were still naked.”

  Adam left me to finish up so he could shower and get himself together. We were out of the house by ten, on the road to get my car taken care of. I called the dealership the tow truck driver said was a good one that he’d drop the car at since I had no knowledge of who to use in Lansing. They were open until four so we were good on time. I just had to deal with an hour of being in a confined space with him. And his smell. He didn’t wear cologne so his smell was all whatever pheromones he produced naturally and soap, the aroma of clean. I wanted to bottle it up so I could smell him whenever I needed to.

  “Flannery met my mom. In New York. Sort of.” I could’ve made small talk but figured I’d better get some of this stuff out of the way.