Losing Grip

by Mercy Amare

I nod my head in agreement.

  “Now, what’s the deal with you two?” Hope asks me and Sebastian. “I’m kind of seeing sparks...”

  “We’re friends,” Sebastian answers for me.

  “He gets me,” I say.

  “And she gets me,” he says.

  “After knowing Sebastian four days, I trust him more than anybody I know.”

  “You do?” he asks, sounding surprised.

  I nod.

  He grins. “Good.”

  “See? Sparks,” Hope says to Isaac.

  Isaac looks between the two of us. “Yeah, there is a lot of chemistry. What do you think? Two weeks?”

  “I say four weeks,” Hope says.

  Isaac holds on his hand. “Twenty bucks?”

  Hope shakes it.

  “What are you two doing?” I ask.

  “Betting on when the two of you will hook up,” Isaac says.

  My face warms. “Oh.”

  “I’m pretty sure that Jinger is a virgin, so I’m going to get in on this bet. But I’m saying seven weeks,” Drew says. “Virgins are always the hardest. Especially virgins who don’t drink.”

  “Virgin?” Hope asks, looking at me. “Four weeks might be too much.”

  “Can you guys not talk about us when we’re sitting right here?” Sebastian asks, raising his voice.

  “So defensive,” Drew says.

  “Hmm... Maybe Isaac will win after all,” Hope says.

  “Let’s think about this for two seconds,” I say. “If Sebastian and I... hooked up... do you really think we would tell you? I’m really good at keeping secrets. So is Sebastian for that matter.”

  They all look at each other, then Hope looks at me.

  “I think I will know,” she says.

  “How?” I ask.

  “I don’t know, but I will figure it out. It’s going to be hard to hide that kind of stuff from your roommate.”

  “And from your bae,” Drew adds.

  Isaac and Drew knuckle bump at his comment.

  “You guys need to get a life,” Sebastian says.

  “I second that,” I say, getting up from the table.

  Sebastian follows me. I dump my uneaten food, and we walk out of the cafeteria together.

  “Hey... what they were saying...”

  I cut him off. “Sebastian, don’t worry about it. I’m a big girl. I can handle their teasing.”

  He nods. “Okay. I’ll see you at dinner?”

  “Yeah. See ya,” I say, and head towards my next class.

  I still have a few minutes, so I get out my phone and decide I should go ahead and call my dad. Might as well get it over with.

  As I put call, my stomach fills with butterflies.

  Seriously? I’m nervous to call my own father? How sad is that?

  Much to my surprise, he answers on the third ring.

  “Jinger,” he answers. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I say.

  “Good.” I hear him sigh. “How is boarding school? Wait... isn’t school going on now?”

  “It’s lunch,” I tell him. “I had a little extra time before class started and I needed to ask you something, so I thought I’d call.”

  “Well, it’s good to hear your voice.”

  I clear my throat, not sure what to make of his comment. “Ugh... you... too...”

  “So what do you need?” he asks. “I have a meeting in five minutes.”

  Of course.

  He doesn’t want to talk to me.

  Business always comes first.

  I guess I should be thankful I don’t have to talk to him very long.

  “My friends are going into Boston this weekend. We were going to go shopping, go to some of the restaurants, and just hang out. But we might be out late, so we were thinking about getting hotel and staying overnight,” I say, leaving out the part of the club. “And I need you to give the school permission for me to go off campus overnight.”

  “Overnight?” he asks. “Who are your friends?”

  “My roommate, Hope,” I answer, starting with the one girl going. “Also Sebastian, Drew, and Isaac.”

  He sighs. “I don’t know how I feel about there being guys.”

  “The guys are really nice, Dad,” I say. “And they’re just my friends.”

  “Are any of them your... boyfriend?” he asks.

  “I literally just met these people days ago,” I say.

  “Just answer the question.”

  “No. I don’t have a boyfriend.”

  “And you’re not just going with them to... have sex?” he asks.

  “Wow, Dad...” my voice trails off. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m a virgin. And I definitely don’t plan on losing my virginity to a guy I met four days ago.”

  “That’s... good to know,” he says. “I’ll email the school and let them know you’ll be going off campus this weekend.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Thanks for calling, Jinger, but I really have to head into this meeting,” he says.

  “Yeah, okay. Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  The line goes dead, and I sigh in relief.

  I’m so glad that phone call is over.

  Now, just to survive Spanish.

  2 p.m.

  You guys should have your own reality show.

  I am pretty sure that my favorite class will be yearbook.

  It’s the only non-educational class I took, though I guess that’s not completely accurate. I will be learning a lot about graphic designing and stuff like that, which is very interesting to me. I already know how to use a lot of the programs because of my blog.

  “You’re really good at this,” Zoe Price, the girl in charge, tells me.

  There isn’t really a teacher for this class. Zoe is in charge, and every few weeks somebody will come in and approve things or ask us to make changes. It’s kind of cool that they trust us like this. They wouldn’t have, at my old school.

  Of course, there are only five people in this class—Zoe Price, Vanessa Evans, Bryce Adams, Christine Perkins and me. Everybody seems really nice so far, and I’m glad I’m in here. I have a feeling I will become friends with them all.

  “Thanks,” I say. “I’ve had a lot of practice.”

  “I can tell. Are you good at photography as well?”

  I shake my head. “I’ve never tried it, or really been interested. I like editing photos and stuff like that, more.”

  “Too bad,” she says. “Next year I will graduate and somebody else will need to be in charge of photography for the yearbook.”

  “Zoe, I took a photography class over the summer,” Christine says. “I know I’m only a freshman this year, but I’d like a shot.”

  “That would be great, Christine,” Zoe tells her. “Maybe we can switch up on some school events. I missed out on so much last year... I really don’t want to be a photographer at the prom again this year. It’s my senior prom. I want to enjoy it.”

  “Well, I’m not old enough for senior prom, so it’s not like I was going to attend anyway,” Christine says. “I highly doubt a senior boy is going to take interest in me.”

  I ignore the conversation going on around me and just focus on the task in front of me. Before I know it, class is over. I grab my messenger bag off the back of my chair and head towards the door.

  “Jinger! Wait up!”

  I look back and see Bryce walk up to me.

  I continue walking in the hall and he falls in step beside me.

  “I’m Bryce,” he says, introducing himself.

  “I know,” I say. “We all introduced ourself at the beginning of class.”

  He nods. “Right. I just thought you might’ve forgotten. Being a new kid has to be overwhelming.”

  I shrug. “I’m actually really good at remembering names.”

  “I’m jealous,” he says. “I’m terrible with names.”

  I just nod.

  “Where are you headed?” h
e asks.

  “Well, I signed up to be a part of the school paper. The information I got said we meet there Monday and Wednesday after school,” I say.

  “I’m going there, too,” he says. “I’m assistant editor, actually.”

  “Cool.”

  “Next year, hopefully, I will be editor,” he says. “Since Perez is graduating.”

  “Perez?” I groan. “Please tell me the editor is not Colton Perez?”

  “Ugh, yeah,” Bryce answers. “Is that a problem?”

  “Kind of. He sort of told everybody in the school that I’m a drug dealer.”

  “Are you?” he asks. “I mean, you don’t look like a drug dealer, but that doesn’t mean anything. Not here.”

  “Ugh, no. I’m not.”

  “So, what is your last name?” Bryce asks.

  “Why does it matter?” I smart back.

  “It doesn’t,” he says. “I was just wondering. You were the only person in class who didn’t say your last name when you were introduced.”

  “I just don’t want everybody to know my business. Though, I’m pretty sure everybody knows by now,” I say.

  “Well, the rumor is that Preston Rivera’s kid started school here,” Bryce says. “And since you’re the only girl junior starting this year, I think everybody just assumes it’s you.”

  “Great,” I say sarcastically.

  “But you’re not, right?” he asks. “I mean, if you were a Rivera, you’d want everybody to know it.”

  “Why would I want that?” I ask. “So people can tell me how great my life must be because my dad is so rich? Or so people can treat me different because they think I can give them something? No, thanks. I’d rather people not know.”

  “Wait,” he says. “You are a Rivera?”

  Thankfully, we arrive at our destination, so I walk away from Bryce before I have to answer.

  I see Colton. He’s talking to some girl, but I’m mad so I don’t care if I disrupt him. I march right up to him with my hands on my hips.

  “You told everybody that I’m a drug dealer.”

  The girl standing beside him quickly says goodbye and leaves the room.

  Colton looks at me. “Thanks, Jinger. I’ve only been trying to talk to that girl since freshman year of high school. She finally noticed me and you ruined it.”

  I just look at him.

  “I’m kidding,” he says, grinning. “And, I didn’t tell anybody you’re a drug deal. Though, anybody with access to Google could’ve figured out that you got caught with drugs at your old school and that’s why you’re here.”

  My mouth falls open.

  “I didn’t really believe you were caught buying drugs,” he says. “I mean, look at you. So, I looked you up on Google. Turns out you were telling the truth.”

  Great.

  I’ve been at this school for like four days, and everybody already knows everything about me.

  Or they think they do.

  Really, they only know the rumors... the stuff leaked online.

  “But I did find out something else that is very interesting,” he tells me. “Preston Rivera checked his son into rehab the very same day that you got in trouble. It seems like he would’ve checked you in, too. I’m just saying...”

  “Who is to say I didn’t go to rehab?” I ask. “Google doesn’t know everything.”

  “Not everything, no. But it does know a lot about the Rivera family. Guess you guys are interesting,” Colton says shrugging. “You guys should have your own reality show or something.”

  I roll my eyes.

  “So, are you going to apologize?” he asks.

  “For what?”

  “Accusing me of telling the school you’re a drug dealer. Because I didn’t.”

  I sigh. “Whatever. Sorry.”

  Colton grins at me. “You know, I think I’m going to like you.”

  I ignore him and take a seat beside the others.

  I don’t think I’m going to like being on the newspaper.

  10 p.m.

  So much for being before anyone else.

  Hope and I are sneaking out of the bathroom window. Well, she’s sneaking. I’m not being at all sneaky. For the second time, I do a face plant into the grass.

  “I’ve really got to learn how to do that,” I tell Hope as she helps me off the ground.

  She laughs. “You’ll get used to it real fast here.”

  “You girls ready to party?” I hear Drew’s voice coming out of the darkness.

  A few seconds later, Drew, Sebastian and Isaac walk into the light.

  “So not,” I answer at the same time Hope says, “Yes!”

  “Come on, Bae,” Drew says, putting his arm around me. “It’s time to let loose. Get a little tipsy.”

  “People already think I’m a drug dealer. Might as well add alcoholic to that list,” I say sarcastically, and push his arm off.

  “Did you talk to Brody yet?” Hope asks as we walk towards the edge of the woods where the party is.

  “Nope,” I answer. “I thought he’d come by after school or something, but he didn’t. I didn’t even see him at lunch.”

  “It’s probably for the best,” Sebastian says.

  I look at him and shake my head.

  “Somebody’s jealous,” Isaac says.

  “You shouldn’t be jealous of Brody,” Drew says. “If anybody, you should be jealous of me. I’m her bae.”

  Drew throws his arm around my shoulder. I just let him keep it there instead of throwing it off. It’s safe to say that Drew is growing on me, which is surprising. I really thought I’d be more annoyed with him.

  Sebastian looks at me, then at Drew. He doesn’t say anything, but one side of his lip lifts up into a smirk. Probably because a few days ago, I was complaining about Drew and now I am letting him keep his arm around me.

  “I’m not jealous of anybody,” Sebastian says. “But I care about Jinger, so I don’t want some loser breaking her heart.”

  “Brody isn’t going to break my heart. He’s a friend. That’s it. And I really don’t know him well enough to be more,” I say. “Plus, he doesn’t exactly have the best track record with me. I mean, he accused me of being a drug addict.”

  “He wasn’t nice the first time you met him either,” Sebastian says. “Though maybe that was more because of me.”

  Right.

  I forgot about that.

  And since lunch, he hasn’t tried to apologize. I really thought he would. He was supposed to. But maybe he doesn’t care enough to apologize.

  What surprises me is how much I care.

  Maybe Sebastian is right. Maybe Brody can break my heart.

  I decide to change the subject, because I am so over talking about Brody.

  “I called my dad earlier,” I tell them. “He said I can go off campus.”

  “You called him?” Sebastian asks.

  I nod.

  “Wow. How did it go?”

  I shrug. “As expected. It was a short conversation. He had to make it to some meeting.”

  “I’m glad you get to go,” Isaac says. “It’s going to be crazy awesome.”

  “Oh, that reminds me,” Drew says. “I need the picture for your fake ID. Just email me something.”

  “Okay,” I say, pulling out my phone.

  I look through some selfies on my phone until I find one I like and email it to him.

  “Done,” I tell him.

  With his free hand, Drew pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Got it.”

  When we arrive at the party, Drew quickly moves his arm off my shoulder and walks up to a big group of girls.

  I laugh.

  Drew is such a player.

  “So much for being before anyone else,” Hope says, laughing.

  “I’m sure Drew has a few bae’s,” I say.

  “Naw. Only you,” Sebastian says. “Drew’s never really had a girl as a friend before. I think he feels... protective of you.”

  “Seems to b
e a common theme here,” I say.

  Hope and Isaac both walk away from us and towards the keg.

  “I have a reason to feel protective of you, Jinger,” Sebastian says. “I keep thinking about... what you showed me.”

  “I didn’t do it to make you feel sorry for me. Actually, I didn’t want to show you at all.”

  “Is that why you’re a virgin?” he asks. “Because you don’t want anybody to see your scars?”

  “That and the fact that I’ve never been in love. Or in like,” I say. “I’ve never found somebody worth losing it to. And, really, I’ve never found somebody that I would want to show my scars too.”

  “Do you regret letting me see?”

  I shake my head. “No. I’m glad you know. It’s kind of nice being able to talk to somebody about it.”

  Sebastian starts to say something else, but is cut off when Brody walks up to us.

  “Hey, Jinger,” he says. I can hear the hesitation in his voice.

  “Hi,” I say.

  Sebastian doesn’t move. He just stands there beside me.

  Right now, I kind of like that he’s protective. I’ve never really had anybody protect me before. I’m usually the one doing the protecting.

  “Perez told me that you joined the school paper,” Brody says.

  I nod.

  “He also told me I was stupid for reacting the way I did this morning,” he continues. “I’m sorry that I accused you of being on drugs.”

  “I forgive you,” I tell him. “But maybe next time, you shouldn’t jump to conclusions like that.”

  “I know.” His head lowers a little bit. “I really like you, Jinger. I want to be your friend.” He pauses. “No, that’s a lie. I want to be a lot more than just a friend.”

  Sebastian shifts uncomfortably beside me.

  “Brody, I am offering you friendship. That’s it,” I tell him.

  “I will take what I can get,” he says, grinning. “Eventually, you will change your mind.”

  “I wouldn’t count on that,” Sebastian says under his breath.

  “I’ll see you later,” Brody says to me, then he looks at Sebastian. “If you hurt her, I’ll hurt you.”

  “Ditto.”

  With that, Brody turns around and walks away.

  I look at Sebastian. “Well, that was thoroughly awkward.”

  He nods in agreement. “Yep.”