Callous

by Xavier Neal

  “Nope. It’s true,” Jess confirms. “I uh...went over to his apartment.” The girls gasp and she reaches for a champagne flute. “Oh relax. Nothing like that happened. Merely told him I’d get even. And I have.”

  “What’d you do?” Jen asks as I turn her face to apply her base.

  “I heard he had a girlfriend so I leaked information to an acquaintance that’s in the press that Christian was here. That the beloved son of Jonathan White and grandson of Jeffrey White has finally been located. Should be playing on several media outlets today.”

  “Is he famous?” I question smoothing out her blush.

  “Not David Beckham famous, but he has status. And interest, Christian was a big name lawyer before he ran away to hide just a few months shy of his I’m about to turn thirty crisis. He tried some very big cases that got him a lot of recognition. If you know anything about law, you’d know his family’s name. If you saw his face you’d probably recognize it.”

  “Wonder what he did for this 30th birthday,” Jill ponders out loud.

  “Don’t know. Don’t care,” Jess sneers. “All I care about is the humiliation he’s going to feel when the false persona he’s hiding behind gets shattered and the girl he’s currently boning rips his heart out for lying.”

  Such a pleasant person, isn’t she?

  “What’s he doing?” Jen asks closing her eyes for me.

  “He’s bartending. Living in a shitty apartment and according to my sources, no one has any idea who he really is. Pathetic. Oh well. After the next couple of days he’ll have to come out of hiding and face the music.”

  Why, oh why he would ever leave a girl like her is beyond me.

  “Sounds like you’re still bitter,” Jill pipes in again.

  “He humiliated me in a church full of people—”

  “You blew one of his groomsman an hour after he left,” Jen argues.

  “Not the point!” Jess waves her hand frantically.

  I’d say it’s a good point.

  “The point is he left me at the altar shattering my dreams, so I want to shatter his. God I hope he really does have a girlfriend and loses her for lying.”

  “You’re assuming awfully hard he hasn’t already told her,” Genevieve says.

  “I know Christian. He’s not a big talker. Keeps most of his shit close to the chest. If she exists and I have on good authority that she does, she doesn’t know and when she finds out, I hope she walks out on him the same way he did me.”

  Preparing the mascara, I question, “Got a pic? Or the press release?”

  “Oh yeah,” she hops up off the lounge and strolls over just as I unscrew the lid. Jess shoves her phone in my face with a bitter smile. “Here’s the asshole.”

  Instead of dropping my jaw at the photo like I want to, I chomp down on my tongue to keep my emotions from seeping out of me.

  Son. Of. A. Bitch.

  Chapter 16

  C.J.

  The sound of my phone vibrating pierces my sleep again finally grabbing me out of the dream I was having about Erin sitting on my face.

  You can imagine what my tongue was doing. You don’t need the details.

  Groggily I answer Stuart’s call, his ring tone being one of the few distinct ones on my phone. “What.”

  “Tell me you’ve been on the internet already and did damage control,” Stuart’s voice rushes out.

  With my face still flat against my pillow, I close my eyes again. “What?”

  “Have you been online today? Seen the news? Read a paper?”

  “No to all of the above.”

  “What do you mean no? You get on the internet every morning while you drink your coffee.”

  “Should I be flattered or worried that you know my morning routine?” I joke.

  “This is serious, C.J.,” Stuart declares loudly in my ear.

  There really should be a rule on how loud a person can talk when the other person hasn’t been up for longer than 2 minutes.

  “Are you just gonna keep interrogating me or actually tell me something of value?”

  “Your secret’s out,” Stuarts says carefully.

  Immediately I pop up in my bed. “What the fuck do you mean my secrets out?”

  “I mean it’s all over every tabloid, newspaper, and internet site that will showcase it. Christian Jeffrey White found hiding in Texas.”

  “Shit!” I stumble out of bed and scramble to get dressed.

  So sue me. After Erin left the idea of putting on clothes was not only exhausting but meant covering up her scent that was still stained on my skin.

  “The reports vary. Some are reporting on you, on your cases, and how when you took a hiatus it was totally unexpected. Some are reporting on your relationship with Jess. Others...well others are a mixture of the two. Nonetheless everyone is reporting that you’re here.”

  “Fuck!” I curse out again buttoning my jeans before I haul my ass into the living room, flip on the lights, and open my lap top on my wobbly coffee table.

  Don’t ask why it wobbles right now. We have bigger problems!

  “What have you been doing all day?” Stuart asks.

  “Erin.” After he gives a short chortle I finish, “And then sleeping. We were up most of the night and early morning. I needed some sleep.”

  “You working a shift tonight?”

  “Nah, I convinced Frank to let me take it off in exchange for helping him settle a photo scandal.”

  “So you haven’t had a chance to talk to Erin yet?”

  She’s gonna kill me.

  “No.”

  “Has she texted?”

  I pull my phone away from my ear and hit a few buttons seeing numerous missed calls and texts, none from her. “No.”

  Quickly I get up on the search for my charger cord for my dead computer when there’s a heavy knocking on my door. At the same time Stuart says, “Maybe she doesn’t know yet. Maybe she hasn’t seen the news. Maybe—”

  “She’s at my front door,” I say as I open it to see her standing there a look of betrayal and rage painted on her perfect face. “I’ll call you back.”

  The minute I hang up she marches in yelling, “You lousy, lying, ball-less asshole!” Erin slams the door behind her and I toss my phone on the couch. “How could you do this? How could you lie to me?”

  “I didn’t lie to you,” I mumble.

  “What?”

  “I just...didn’t tell you everything.”

  That’s different right?

  “That’s just another version of lying, you dick head!”

  Guess not.

  “Erin—”

  “No!” she cuts me off the word feeling like a small knife to my chest. “I don’t want to hear it! You lied to me. You made me share things, parts of myself I never have before and the entire time you were pretending to be someone you’re not C.J. or shall I call you Christian?”

  “No,” I counter quickly, “The only people who call me that are people who don’t love me.”

  “So I should call you that then,” she growls making a very blatant declaration. Running my fingers through my hair I try to calm myself down.

  She’s just speaking out of anger. She doesn’t mean it. She doesn’t—

  “I can’t believe I trusted you, you sneaky bastard!”

  “Stop,” I hold up my hands in surrender. “Don’t I get a chance to explain? The media lies—”

  “As do you.”

  “And what you read isn’t the whole truth.”

  “Too bad I didn’t hear it from them or even read about it online. I heard it from the source, Christian,” she sneers my name again making it harder to pretend it didn’t hurt.

  “So you’re just going to convict me without due process?”

  “Please don’t talk to me like that,” she growls. “It disgusts me. YOU disgust me.” Erin turns to leave when I rush over and slam my hand on the door to keep her from opening it. “I’ll stiletto you in the nuts if you don’t get out of
my fucking way.”

  “You have my word that I’ll move and let you walk out the door if you just give me a chance to explain.”

  “Fine.” She crosses her arms. “You have two minutes.”

  And because you know Erin as well as I do we both know this isn’t a joke. I have two minutes. Well less now.

  “My name is C.J. It’s what the few friends that I have call me. It’s what I’ve always gone by unless in a courtroom. I’m from a little prestigious town in Maryland. Bontassa, Maryland. I grew up with people whose entire lives all of their problems were bought and paid for. Most of the kids had alcohol addictions before they hit 8th grade.” Erin looks unmoved so I continue, “My grandfather is a Supreme Court Judge. My father is one of the five top white collar defense lawyers. He’s currently one of the top 10 lawyers in the country. I fall in the top twenty-five.”

  Hard to believe I just turned thirty and am already that damn good huh? Well just know it’s a good thing you’ve never seen me in the courtroom. And just know I didn’t graduate when I was supposed to. I graduated high school barely seventeen and finished law school by twenty-five.

  “And Jess?” She questions. “You left her at the altar for what? Your secretary?”

  “Jess...” her name barely makes it out of my mouth. “It didn’t take long after Jess and I started dating to see she wasn’t looking for love but a meal ticket. Preferably one with a good name attached. My father liked the picture perfect bullshit couple we appeared to be. By six months in, I was just going through the motions of all of it. Six months later when I proposed I found myself regretting it before the words were even finished coming out of my mouth. Six months after that, minutes from making the biggest mistake of my life I finally caved. I finally got sick of the hollow existence I had and left. Yes. It was our wedding day. Yes, I convinced a friend to help me sneak out of the church. And yes, I’ve been hiding ever since.”

  “Was it Stuart?”

  I nod. “We’d grown up together. He helped me sneak out of the church and I purchased a one way plane ticket to Florida where some of my college buddies were hanging out. I spent a month getting drunk every day on the beach after throwing my cell in the water. Every day I just floated in and out of life without a care. See up until that point in my life I had always been two different people. I was a soulless puppet on strings, pulled by my parents and a rebellious teen who hated the idea of becoming just like everyone else. When I was in Florida, I made the decision that I had to live for me. I needed to do things for myself and in making that choice I realized I had no idea who the fuck I was so... So I took some time to feel it out. And at the end of the month, I called Stuart and told him I wanted to relocate. He offered me the opportunity to join him here in Texas. He originally moved to live with some rock star wannabe he was fan-girl-ing over for a couple of months and just ended up staying. I moved here. A couple of weeks later he tells me about a job doing something that feels as familiar to me as riding a bike. So I go to TKO and apply only to meet the one thing missing from my life three days later. You.”

  For a minute I see a flash of hope in Erin’s eyes, but I’m not surprised when it vanishes just as quickly.

  “I’ve spent the last year of my life figuring out what it is I want to do. Who I would like to be and for the first time in my life Erin, I’m fucking happy. I mean I live close to my best friend, the one person who’s always had my back. Friends that are basically family. I mean I’ve practically got a nephew. And Kellar, Maxx, Luke and Tony are like being surrounded by the support a family should give. Then there’s you. The only woman, the only person I could see myself spending the next 40, 50, 60 years with. I don’t want to give any of this up Erin. Please...please don’t force me.”

  My hand slides off the door. She just stares up at me for a second, as cold as the day I met her. When her hand touches the handle, I know instantly everything is over. “I can’t force them to keep you or cut you loose...but you can’t force me to stay. After all a Hart wants what it wants.”

  And just like that the love of my life is gone.

  Can you excuse me for a minute? I need to just...I need to just process how my life went from Heaven to Hell in a matter of minutes.

  Chapter 17

  Erin

  With a hard third knock on the door, I impatiently tap my heel, not in the mood to deal with any more bullshit.

  What he could possibly be doing to take him so damn long to open the goddamn door!

  Tony swings it open pulling down his shirt and shock goes to the pit of my stomach.

  There’s no way the scenario that’s running through your head and mine is even possible.

  “Is Maxx here?” I cautiously ask.

  “No,” he quickly responds but before he can continue a short blonde girl pops over his shoulder wiping away spit from the corners of her mouth.

  “Who’s Maxx?” she squeaks.

  Not in the mood to deal with a chew toy.

  “Is that your girlfriend?” Her question is followed by looking at him.

  “Isn’t that the kind of thing you should ask before you go back to a guy’s apartment to sleep with him,” I sneer and her jaw drops.

  On a sigh Tony introduces us, “Erin meet my date, Cindy. Cindy, meet Erin. And no Cindy, Maxx is not my girlfriend but Erin’s best friend.” I give him a scolding look. “Err...my best friend.” When my arms fold across my chest he tries a final time, “Our. Our best friend. Could you just give me a minute?” She nods and he steps outside closing the door behind him leaving us on his porch. “Cock block much?”

  “What does and does not happen to your cock is of no concern to me. Besides you should probably be thanking me for saving you from someone whose IQ is probably a negative 30.”

  Tony fights the urge to smile as he shakes his head. “She’s actually a doctor.”

  “Of Teddy Bears?” Her bubbly personality churns my stomach.

  Shut up. That’s what it is. It has nothing to do with the break up I had with C.J. And it’s not a break up because we weren’t a couple. We were barely even dating.

  “Of teeth.”

  “You’re banging a dental hygienist?” I roll my eyes. “Make sure you floss after every meal. Wouldn’t wanna lecture out of her mouth before she offers to put it around your dick.”

  “You’re extremely pleasant this evening, so let’s just push past your rainbows. No. Maxx is not here. And no I don’t know where she is.”

  “How do you not know?” I toss a hand in the air. “If she didn’t tell me you’re the only other reliable source I have in finding her.”

  “Well, she called to tell me she wasn’t going to come over not only because she didn’t want me to cancel my date but she didn’t want to put me in the middle of her and Logan’s problems. And she knew if he came looking for her, much like you, he’d stop here first. When I tried to tell her she shouldn’t be running from him, but talking it out like an adult, she flipped out on me. Chewed me out, said she was gonna have a staycation and hung up. Haven’t heard from her since and not for lack of trying.”

  Bingo...

  “Okay. Thanks anyway,” I turn and head back towards my car now knowing exactly where to find her.

  After a quick drive downtown, I pull into the parking circle of a hotel whose name I know, but have never stayed in. Handing my keys to valet I inform him that I won’t be long because I’m just visiting.

  When I arrive at the counter of the five star hotel, I’m politely greeted, “Welcome to the Walburg. How may I service your needs for this evening?”

  Anyone else here think that sounds a little like something a hooker would say?

  “I’m here to visit someone. She’s under the name Maxx Hart.”

  The woman nods and types promptly on her keyboard. “Why yes she is staying here. I’m just going to phone her to let her know of your arrival and verify to send you up.” I nod and she dials. After a very brief conversation she hands me a key and gives me instruc
tions on where to go.

  I take the elevator up to almost the top level and stroll down the hall admiring the high dollar essence that oozes from this place, memories haunting me like they are seeping from the walls. I walk quickly to the end of the hall, swipe my card, and enter. Dropping my purse and keys on the entry table, I take a left and walk down the hall to see Maxx laid out across the bed in a luxury white robe. Hands nestled on her tummy.

  Stopping in the door way I listen to the movie to hear a quote I recognize. “The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?” My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach.

  You know this movie too huh?

  “I should’ve been a hooker,” Maxx says not looking away from the T.V.

  “Yes because that’s the correct answer to all of life’s problems.”

  “Hey, she was one, and she got a happily ever after and a prince charming.”

  “Really?” I fold my arms across my chest. “You have both of those things. Just because hers was rich and sophisticated and yours is rich but can’t spell sophisticated doesn’t make hers better. The fact that he’s Richard Gere does.” When Maxx giggles I smirk. “What round is this?”

  “Round 2,” she answers. “Before I started the marathon, I went and had a pregnancy massage and a foot rub. Then a steaming shower and now...well you know the drill. How’d you find me anyway? I hadn’t texted you yet.”

  “Tony.”

  “How could he have possibly ratted me out? He has no idea where I am.”

  “You told him you were going on a staycation.” The reference makes us both smile softly.

  “I remember when we were 10 and I heard your mom say that after your parents got into it about some golf tournament thing. You said you never really knew what it was either then dragged me by the hand to ask her about it.”

  I glance down at the ground, the memory clawing at my already broken heart. “Yup. She told us how when my dad really made her mad she’d give herself a staycation. A stay in town vacation and spare no expense. And then you asked her what kinds of things do you do? She answered watch Pretty Woman and eat chocolate chip ice cream.”