Downward Spiral

by Bria Starr

  “Okay!” I let go of his throat and wait. “He offered me fifty-thousand dollars along with the release of my brother if … if I killed you.”

  My mouth drops open. Hearing him say those words feels like taking a punch to the gut. What did I ever do to Corbin? “Why?”

  “He wanted Paige to himself. He thought your death would bring the two of them closer together. That she’d cling to him when it was over. So he paid one of your new employees to let him know where you’d be. He suggested Paige go out with her friend, thinking they’d be at the other bar and nowhere near us.” I cringe when he says her name. “She talked about you too much and he was jealous. He kept tabs on you and the moment you returned to town, he wanted you gone, he just didn’t know how to go about it. Then I came to him, desperate, and he found his opportunity. I had pictures and information on both of you, watched the two of you for a few weeks to make sure you weren’t seeing each other, then he finally sent me to do what we had discussed.”

  He shakes his head. “She wasn’t supposed to be there. She was supposed to be at the other bar.” He takes a long pause. “I’m a criminal, but I’ve never killed anyone before. When she intervened, I didn’t know what to do. I knew I couldn’t hurt her, or he’d kill me.”

  My mind is swirling with all this new information. I love Paige, deeply, but actually planning to have someone murdered for her, and for such a ludicrous reason is beyond comprehension.

  I’m still shaking and my voice has a quiver in it from the adrenaline when I ask, “Why are you telling me all this?”

  “He never helped my brother and he never paid me my money, because I didn’t follow through. He’s never going to pay up. I want him to suffer.”

  “Why not go to the cops yourself?”

  “It would hurt him so much worse to have you turn him in. He loathes you.”

  “Well, the feeling is mutual there.” My hand grazes over the phone in my pocket that is ringing, presumably from Paige trying to call me and see where I am. “You’re coming with me to the police department. You’re going to tell them everything you just told me. This isn’t over, it’s only the beginning.”

  “I’ve already been tried, I’m not worried about penalties for myself. It’s him who will now suffer. I imagine he will sit in the very prison my brother is in.” He smiles at me.

  “Let me clear one thing up first. I despise you. You are a despicable human being. I am not grateful to you for giving me this information. I wished for answers, but I don’t feel I owe you a single kind word or thank you. Do you understand?” He nods. “Good, now get in my truck.

  We’re going to the police station.”

  We walk to my truck together and get in, driving straight to Corbin’s office instead, which only takes less than a minute.

  “What are you doing?” Clyde asks me. I get out of my truck and take out my phone, ignoring the three missed calls from Paige, and call the cops, letting them know they should come to this location. I throw open the front door and enter the nice building with expensive art hanging on the walls and sculptures on every surface. I look through each of the five offices until I see him in the very last one, talking on the phone without a care in the world.

  When he sees me, he quickly hangs up the phone and rises to face me. Like he has a chance in hell of putting up a decent fight.

  “Is it true?” I demand.

  “Is what true?” he asks, full of dubiety.

  “That you tried to have me murdered? That this was all a set up to try and get Paige to love you?”

  “She did love me.”

  “So you’re not denying it?”

  “I’m not saying anything.”

  “Before I have you put away for the rest of your miserable life, I want you to know one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You didn’t bring her closer to you like you thought you would. You brought us closer together, Paige and I.

  You failed, miserably. Now you will go to jail knowing that Paige and I are free and living the rest of our lives together.

  Married, with a family, anything her heart desires.”

  “So, what, you’re going to call the cops on me?” he asks in disbelief. “What’s it going to take to make this go away?” He reaches for his checkbook.

  “Nothing can make up for the mental damage you’ve put upon us. What you’ve put Paige through. I want justice, not your dirty money that you think will buy you out of anything.”

  “You’re nothing to her. I was the one there for her! I was the one who protected her. You’re so weak, she had to save you while you cowardly waited on your knees for death to come. You couldn’t prote—”

  My fist flies through his perfect teeth, smashing his flawless nose. That felt way too good. I’ve wanted to do that since I realized what an asshole he was at my party.

  Paige deserves better, and now she’ll have it.

  I look down at Corbin, who is holding his nose, trying to stop the bleeding. He glares up at me as the police come in and swarm us. I’m put in handcuffs and placed in the back of a squad car where I give my statement. I regret nothing.

  ***

  I walk into my house where Paige is pacing my living room floor.

  “What the hell, Eli? It’s been two hours!”

  She looks somewhere between pissed off and scared. “I’m so sorry. I was with the police.”

  “The police? Are you okay?” She comes running over to me, throwing her arms around my waist and I bury my face into her hair. I’m so glad she was safe from all that.

  When we break free, I look down at her. “Let’s go sit down. I have so much to tell you.”

  Watching her face turn pale white as I describe the events that happened from me seeing Corbin, to being arrested and ultimately let go after explaining what had happened. She’s crying and it breaks my heart to see her so upset.

  She gets up and runs into the bathroom where I can hear her throwing up. I wanted to do the same thing not too long ago.

  When she finally returns, she throws herself into me. I stroke her hair as she sobs until she has no tears left. We stay like that for an hour before she announces she needs to go home.

  “Why? I want you to stay with me.”

  “Not tonight.” She shakes her head. “I need some time. I think I need to be alone right now.”

  “You don’t want to be with me? We can get through this together.”

  “Not right now. I’m sorry.” She gets up and scurries to get her keys.

  “Let me at least drive you. You’re too upset.”

  “I’ll be fine. It’s a minute away. I have to go.” She leaves, never even kissing me good-bye. I watch her drive down my driveway from the kitchen window.

  How long will she need?

  I feel like I’ve lost her already.

  Chapter 21

  Paige

  The negative emotions have all returned. I had to make two trips down to the police department, answering question after question, and I had told Eli that I needed some time to process everything, alone. He said he’d be right here for me when I needed him.

  That was three days ago.

  He’s tried to get in contact with me, repeatedly, but I’ve ignored him, and I’ve made Laura do the same when he shows up at our door. I wonder how it makes him feel, having done to him what he had done to me all those years ago. I’m not doing it out of spite, I’m just in a bad place and need some time, like I told him.

  I sit here now, numb, and stare out my bedroom window, watching vehicles pull in and out of another apartment complex across the street. Not much of a view, but it’s more entertaining than staring at my ceiling.

  There are two words I can’t stop thinking about.

  Something Larissa had mentioned at the wedding.

  Trauma bond.

  I know I love Eli, I always have, but could we be so in love because of a trauma bond? It wouldn’t be real if that were the case. I need to figure my shit out.
Again. I can never seem to think straight when my mind is such a mess.

  I hear two light knocks, then my name. “Paige?”

  “Yeah?”

  Laura opens my door a little. “The pizza is here. Are you gonna help me eat it?”

  “Sure, I’ll be out in a few minutes.” I’m not going to lie, I’m scared to leave my apartment. I haven’t even been back to work since last week. It makes me sick to my stomach knowing he’s out there, so I’ve filed a restraining order against both Clyde and Corbin. I’m not taking any chances.

  I trudge down the short hallway and take a deep breath, inhaling the aroma of bacon pizza. I bring down a plate and slap two slices on it, then pour a glass of cold water and I join Laura on the couch.

  “You good?” she asks.

  “I’m good,” I respond, taking a big bite of my pizza.

  “Alrighty then.”

  We sit for a while, watching TV and commenting on the unrealistic portrayals of beauty in the media, before my mind wanders.

  I know I’m being ridiculous about ignoring him, but I’m having some serious anxiety about it. It’s hard to even talk about it. I have my monthly meeting with Dr. Marvin coming up and I’m almost positive I’m going to cancel it. I was doing so well and if he finds out what’s going on with me right now, I’m afraid he’ll up my dosage and make me come back more frequently. I took a giant step forward, I don’t want to be told I’m taking two steps back. I need to get over this, on my own.

  Not because of Eli.

  Not because of medication.

  Because of me.

  I wonder how much longer until he gives up. How much longer until he realizes our love was just a reaction caused from a trauma bond.

  “I’m going to go soak in the tub.” I get up and go down to my room. I remove my clothes and run the tub, adding my favorite bath salts. I get in and pour the hot water over my exposed body as I wait for it to fill up. I close my eyes and lean back, trying to relax and block out any horrible visions I may get. The last two nights have been my own sort of hell. Waking up in the middle of the night after having watched Clyde murder every single person I love, right in front of me, before finally finishing me off. I remember waking up in the middle of the night, and sat on the edge of my bed as I cried until I had nothing left.

  I hope tonight goes differently.

  I get out and dry myself off, brushing my hair and teeth before I walk into my room, still wearing a towel. I grab my striped pajama bottoms and hesitate before reaching for my tank top. I get an idea to make me more comfortable and I swing open my closet doors to bring down the box sitting on the top shelf. I open it and see the T-shirt and sweatshirt I‘d swiped from Eli, years ago. I’ve worn both of them once or twice, but it has to have been two solid years since the last time. I take out the T-shirt and hold it against my chest. I sniff it and it doesn’t smell musty, so I shake it open and put it on, letting the towel drop to the floor. I pick it up and bring it over to my dirty clothes hamper, put the pajama bottoms away, and throw on a clean pair of underwear. Maybe wearing Eli’s shirt will help me feel better and keep the nightmares away.

  I put on a romantic comedy, one that hopefully won’t make me cry, and crawl under my covers. My eyes still burn from this morning when I was woken up in a fright.

  My head bobs a few times, but I fight it, too scared to fall asleep. There are times I’ve stayed up all night because I was so afraid of what was waiting for me. It was my own personal Nightmare On Elm Street. I finally drift off and I’m in a deep, dreamless sleep when something outside wakes me up. My phone vibrates and I hear something outside again.

  Eli: I’m outside.

  I glance at the clock. It’s well after three in the morning. I get out of bed and raise the blinds. There is Eli, standing in the rain, looking like a lost puppy.

  I unlock and lift up the window. “Eli, it’s pouring out! Are you crazy?” I rub my eyes.

  “Maybe a little.”

  “Get in here!” I can deal with ignoring him when I don’t have to actually see him, but making him stand out in the rain isn’t something I can avoid. Seeing him outside of my window for the first time in years brings back nothing but happy memories. It’s amazing the backlash of emotions I get around him.

  I cover my braless boobs that are dangling free as he crawls through my window, and watch as the water drips off of his clothes and onto the carpet. He looks downright sexy. Little droplets are falling from his hair and down his face, I have the urge to lick them. I’m suddenly wide awake.

  “It’s about time you have a window on ground level.”

  “Only this time you’re sneaking in instead of sneaking me out.”

  “I’d have snuck in if I could have.”

  “Liar. You never kissed me more than once, and you’re honestly saying you’d have come into my room? What would we have done, read comic books?” I tease. “Maybe I would have made a move.”

  “I’m calling bullshit. Anything we could have done in my room could have also happened outside by the river, your room, hell, even your car.”

  His eyes light up. “So you’re saying you want to do it in the backseat of my car?”

  “No! It may have been fun back in the day, but now that we have our own places and comfy beds, no thanks.” That doesn’t mean I won’t stop imagining him naked on top of me in the backseat of the Chevelle. It does sound tempting …

  “You’re thinking about it.”

  “Shut up, Eli.” I sit on the edge of my bed. “So what are you doing here?”

  “I came here to—is that my shirt?” I look down at his faded maroon shirt that says, Yes, I always look this good, and back up to him with a guilty smile. “When did you manage to steal that from me?”

  “I don’t know.” I trail the stitching on my comforter, embarrassed.

  “Who’s the liar now? I looked everywhere for that shirt, I thought my mom accidentally spilled bleach on it or something and tossed it out.” He shakes his head at me.

  “What else did you steal?”

  I gasp. “What makes you think I stole anything else?”

  “You little thief!” He laughs. “First my comic book, then my shirt, what else? Tell me.”

  I squeeze my eyes shut. “Your sweatshirt.”

  His eyebrows raise up. “My Chevrolet one?” I nod.

  “That was my favorite! I looked for it for months!”

  “Well, they were being well cared for. In the back of my closet ...”

  “That doesn’t even make sense.”

  “Every girl steals clothes from a boy,” I pout.

  “Yeah, maybe from their boyfriend.” He didn’t mean to say it the way it came out, but it hit a nerve.

  “Sorry.”

  “No, that’s okay, it’s true. You weren’t my boyfriend.” He comes closer to the bed, still soaking wet.

  “But I am now, and you can steal whatever you want from me.”

  “Please don’t say, ‘Because you’ve already stolen my heart’.”

  He laughs. “I won’t, even though it’s true.”

  “You should get out of those clothes before you get sick. I’d offer you a T-shirt, but I don’t have any that would fit you …”

  “That’s funny. Too bad I don’t need to wear anyclothes. Body heat will warm me up faster, you know.” He removes his shirt, and it takes him a little while to get his jeans and socks off.

  “I’ll throw your clothes in the dryer,” I say, going over to pick them up, trying to keep them at a distance so they don’t get my own shirt wet.

  “Thank you. I’ll get them in the morning.”

  “The morning? You’re sleeping over?”

  “Well, I can’t go anywhere looking like this.” He points to his boxers, then slowly slides them down his legs, catching them with his right foot, and kicking them up at me. I duck to the side to keep them from hitting me in the face and immediately look down at him, already getting hard.

  I gulp and quickly
grab his boxers off the floor, leaving the room to go down the hall and put them in the dryer. I stand there as I push start, wondering how I can feel so normal around him. I’ve been avoiding him, and here he shows up, happy as can be, like nothing ever happened. Like I haven’t ignored him the last few days, like I’m not 100% sure if what we have is real.

  I walk back into my room and Eli is watching TV with the comforter pulled over his hips. “Thank you for not being spread eagle on my bed when I came back.”

  “It didn’t even cross my mind. Next time it will though. Or maybe I’ll do one of those poses where I’m on my side with one of my legs bent up so you can see my—”

  “I get it! Geez, I don’t need a visual.”

  “You might like it.” He pats the void space next to him.

  “Doubtful,” I say walking towards my bed. Towards Naked Eli.

  After I slide in, he leans over and kisses me softly on the cheek. He starts to move in closer to me when I shriek.

  “What? Did I hurt you?”

  “No, you’re freezing!”

  “Well, why don’t you warm me up?” He starts kissing and sucking on my neck, instantly making me fully aroused. I squeeze my eyes shut in pleasure. He raises himself up to where he can see me. “Can we leave this on?” he says, looking down at my shirt. “You look so sexy wearing my shirt.”

  “Mm hmm.”

  “But we’re taking these off.” His hands touch my hips as he slowly slides my underwear down my legs and off my feet, tossing them to the floor. He starts to hover over me.

  “Wait.”

  He looks confused for a split second before he moves next to me. “Right. We need to talk.” He makes it so easy to forget. “I’ve missed you,” he says. “Where have you been?”

  “Nowhere. Right here at home.”

  “So are you going to tell me what’s going on? You’re not breaking up with me, are you?” He laughs, waiting for me to laugh with him. When I don’t, he looks upset. “Seriously? Come on, Paige.”

  “I’m just trying to think.”

  He lets out a sigh. “Don’t do this. I don’t believe for a second that this is what you really want.”