I Need You

by Mercy Amare

  For the first time in forever, I don’t have bad dreams.

  Wednesday, May 2

  10 a.m.

  Let me be your hero.

  When I wake up, Gabe’s arms are still wrapped tightly around me. I smile, loving waking up in his arms. Hopefully this becomes a regular thing.

  “Told you he stayed the night.” I hear Toby’s voice and quickly sit up and see Ty and Toby standing there, looking at Gabe and me.

  “You naughty girl,” Ty says, shaking his head at me.

  “Nothing happened,” I tell them, even though it’s none of their business. “I just didn’t want to sleep alone.”

  “I would’ve stayed with you.” Ty winks at me. “But something definitely would have happened if I stayed. I can promise you would’ve liked it. So maybe next time you’re lonely…”

  “Stop flirting with my… Kihanna,” Gabe says, sitting up beside me.

  “Your Kihanna?” Ty asks.

  “No. I didn’t mean that. She’s not mine. Yet. But she will be.” He turns to me and grins big.

  He’s keeping us a secret. Like he promised.

  “Gabe and I are together again,” I tell Ty and Toby. “But we’re not telling anybody yet. So keep your mouths shut.”

  “Wow. You actually waited a week and a half before getting a new boyfriend this time,” Toby says. “This is some kind of record.”

  “Shut up,” I say and throw my pillow at him.

  “Seriously, congratulations, little sis. I’m glad you’re happy.”

  “We didn’t get to talk last night after we left Jack’s office. Did we figure out anything?” I ask them.

  “The stalker is still taking us in circles,” Gabe says, not looking at me.

  “What does that mean?” I ask.

  “Exactly what he says,” Ty answers. “Now we need to do something today. Kihanna’s dad said we can do whatever we want as long as we take Cole.”

  Cole. My bodyguard. I roll my eyes. “Whatever. At least we get to go somewhere.”

  Oh my God. Ty just did a subject change to distract me. And it worked.

  “Wait, wait,” I say. “What are you guys not telling me?”

  “We don’t know, Kihanna,” Gabe says. “When I said the stalker was taking us in circles, I meant it. We found the address the text was sent from, but it couldn’t have been real. We didn’t want to tell you until we know more.”

  “Why? What was the address?”

  “Damn it, Kihanna,” Ty says, sitting the wall with his hand. “It was my address.”

  “Your address?” I ask, trying to take a deep breath, but I can’t.

  “I’m not your stalker,” he says. “And I can’t believe you’d even consider it for a second. But yes, the text appears to be sent from my house.”

  “What does this mean?”

  “It means that somebody is messing with us,” Gabe answers.

  Or maybe it could be Ty. Even Gabe considered it at one point. But then I look up at Ty, who is looking at me. I can see that he’s scared for me. He would never hurt me. Despite all that we’ve been through, he really cares about me.

  “Ty, I trust you,” I tell him. “I know it’s not you.”

  I can see his shoulders relax at my confession.

  “The only problem is that the police is looking into that text too,” Gabe says. “And it was far too easy to find the address. The cops will figure it out. When they do, Ty could be in a lot of trouble.”

  “So we have to figure out who really did this before the cops figure out the text was sent from Ty’s house,” I say.

  “And that’s exactly what I’m going to do,” Gabe says. “I’m going back to my dad’s office today. He told me I can use one of his computers. And you, Ty, and Toby are going to do something fun.”

  “That’s not fair,” I say. “I want to help.”

  “It’s not like any of you know what to do anyway. I’ll do it myself,” he says, looking at me. “Besides, if you were there I would be distracted.”

  “Gabe…”

  “Kihanna,” he says, firmly. “Let me be your hero. Please.”

  I sigh and nod my head. “Fine. You win. This time. But don’t get used to it.”

  “Of course,” he says, then kisses my lips gently. “I love you. Now go, have fun.”

  I smile at him, then get out of bed. I go to my room and grab clothes quickly before I go to the guest bathroom to take a shower and get dressed. Maybe someday I won’t be scared to go in there.

  Maybe someday I will be safe.

  1 p.m.

  From now on, I’m only going to date very, very bad girls.

  I feel guilty, going to have fun without Gabe. He will be working hard for me while I’m hanging out with my stepbrother and ex-boyfriend. It doesn’t seem fair.

  Ishmales recently reopened. They’re at a temporary location while they rebuild. It’s kind of small, so they don’t have many tables. We probably would’ve had to wait an hour or more to get a table if one of the hostesses hadn’t recognized Ty as Senator Newman’s son. From the way she looked at him, I’d say she knew him pretty well.

  “You’re such a man-whore,” I tell him, as we sit down at a table.

  The smell of seafood is in the air, and I can’t help but be excited. This was my favorite restaurant before it burnt down. Of course, it was my fault it burnt down. Well, no, not really. It was Brian’s fault, after all, he was the one who started the fire.

  I really have to stop blaming myself for everything.

  Ty grins at my comment. “I met her when we were celebrating our anniversary here. Was it one month? Or two? I can’t remember. She slipped me her number while you were texting Gabe, and I met up with her after I dropped you off. She was kinky. Let me tie her up and everything.”

  “It was our two month anniversary,” I say. “And that’s why we never had a third month one.”

  “That and because you were in love with my best friend. I guess we just weren’t meant to be.”

  Toby laughs. “I still can’t believe the two of you dated. You’re like the worst-suited couple ever.”

  “Hey, every good girl has to date a bad boy at least once in her life,” I say, needing to defend myself.

  “My thoughts exactly,” Ty says. “And every bad boy has to corrupt at least one good girl.”

  “I’m still a good girl. Extremely uncorrupted.”

  “Whatever,” he says. “One good girl was enough for me. From now on, I’m only going to date very, very bad girls.”

  “Amen to that,” Toby says. “Good girls are overrated. No offense, Kihanna. You and Gabe are so perfect for each other.”

  “I wouldn’t exactly consider Gabe a good guy. He’s bad too…”

  Toby and Ty laugh hard.

  “Maybe at one point, Gabe was a bad boy, but it wasn’t long enough to even count,” Ty says.

  “Maybe he wasn’t technically a bad boy,” Toby says. “He just felt guilty because he was driving the car when Lily died. Instead of going to therapy, he drank and had a lot of random hook-ups.”

  “Exactly,” Ty agrees.

  “So what makes you a bad boy?” I ask him.

  He looks at me with his half-smile that makes all the girls swoon. I would swoon if I didn’t know how terrible of a boyfriend he really is.

  “The difference is I don’t feel bad about it. I break the rules. I cheat. I have one night stands. I don’t call. And never once have I felt guilty,” he says. “Well, except with you, but I think that’s because I knew you’d make an awesome friend. I obviously need you in my life. But Gabe, every time he hooked up with a girl, he always felt really guilty afterwards.”

  Toby laughs at that. “He always ruined my buzz. I definitely like Gabe better when he has a girlfriend.”

  “Come to think of it, Gabe always has been a terrible wingman,” Ty says, then looks at Toby. “You need to hurry up and get to college, since obviously Gabe is going to be occupied with Kihanna.”


  “Hey, I’ll be there every weekend. Hot college girls — hell, yes!”

  Toby and Ty knuckle bump and I roll my eyes.

  “Are you sure you want to be in a relationship?” Ty asks me. “There will be lots of hot guys for you to hook up with. Everybody needs at least one one-night stand in their life. Though, I would happily volunteer my services.”

  “How noble of you,” I say sarcastically. “And I’ve never met anybody, besides Gabe, that I want to have sex with. I just don’t think I’m a one-night stand kind of girl.”

  “That’s because you haven’t been with me.”

  Toby and I both start laughing hard at Ty’s cockiness.

  Before either of us can reply to Ty, the waitress comes and takes our order.

  I love that I can be friends with my ex-boyfriend. Even if he does hit on me all the time, I still like him. I always want him to be a part of my life.

  4 p.m.

  Maybe I still will.

  People at the mall are staring at us.

  Okay, they’re staring at Cole… still. It’s not every day you see a guy like him. He looks like a bodybuilder. Maybe he is. I guess a bodyguard could be his day job. Nobody has muscles like that from sitting on the couch eating potato chips.

  But even with Cole here, I don’t feel safe. He would be able to save me in a physical attack, but then I think about Kasbian. Brian hid, and then shot him in the head like a coward. What if my stalker does the same to me? What if I go through all of this just to be shot in the end?

  Ty is flirting with a girl in the store while I try to find a pair of jeans. I frown, looking at the price tag.

  “Who would pay four hundred dollars for a pair of jeans?” I ask Toby.

  “Me,” he answers. “I have. I’ve actually spent more than that. You should try them on.”

  I grab the jeans and go into the dressing room. As I put them on, I realize they’re the perfect fit. I walk out to show Toby.

  “What do you think?” I ask him.

  “Four hundred dollar jeans look good on you,” he says.

  Ty walks over to us with a smug look on his face. “She goes on break in ten minutes, so I’m going to meet up with her. She only has fifteen minutes.”

  I roll my eyes. “You’re disgusting.”

  “You dated me…” he says, then looks at my jeans. “Those look hot on you.”

  Compliments, even from my ex, makes me feel good.

  “I think I’ll get them.”

  Ty’s phone goes off, and his face pales. He holds out the text for me.

  Blocked ID: Tell Kihanna her ass looks great in those jeans. It’s too bad her dad is Mark Evers. I could’ve had so much fun with her. Maybe I still will.

  Cole reads the text and he steps protectively in front of me.

  “We are leaving now, Miss Evers,” he says.

  “I have to change out of these pants,” I say.

  “I can’t leave you alone after a threat.”

  “Well, I’m not changing in front of you.”

  “I’ll pay for the jeans,” Toby says. “Then we’re leaving. Just keep them on.”

  He and I walk over to the counter, followed my Cole, and Toby hands the clerk his card. She looks at me enviously.

  “You have a nice boyfriend,” she says.

  I laugh. “He’s my brother. And he’s spending my dad’s money.”

  Ty smiles at the girl. “Looks like I have to go. Maybe next time.”

  “Oh, well, let me give you my number.” She hands Toby’s card back to him and grabs a pen. Cole immediately starts pulling me toward the exit.

  “Sorry. No time,” Ty says, winks at her, then follows us.

  My heart races as we head toward the parking garage. Cole is standing in front of me. He’s vigilant as he scans around us. Ty is standing behind me, and Toby is walking beside me. He has his arm strung protectively around me.

  “It’s going to be alright,” Toby tells me.

  “No. It’s not,” I say back. “This isn’t over. Me going home isn’t going to make anything better. I’ll just be stuck there. Dad will never let me leave again. Not that it’ll make a difference. I’m not safe anywhere. Not even Cole can protect me. All we are doing is prolonging the inevitable.”

  “Kihanna, we weren’t honest with you,” Ty says.

  I stop and turn towards him. “What do you mean?”

  Cole grabs my arm and pulls me forward. When we get to the car, he opens the door and puts me inside. Ty gets in the back with me, and Toby gets in front with Cole.

  “Explain,” I say to Ty, buckling my seatbelt.

  “We think we know who your stalker is,” he finally answers.

  “Who?”

  “I… I… Kihanna, I can’t right now. Just, please. Trust me. I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” Ty promises.

  “I do. Trust you.” I trust Ty with my life.

  “I may have been an awful boyfriend to you, but I promise that I’m not lying now. I would give my life to keep you safe.”

  “I know.”

  I watch Ty’s face relax. I can tell he’s relieved by my words. “I will explain everything to you soon. Gabe is trying to find proof, but I know, Kihanna. It has to be him.”

  “Okay.” I sit back in my seat and take a deep breath. I’m trying not to panic. The last thing I want to do is pass out… again. “I’m sorry that you didn’t get to have sex with that girl on her break.”

  Ty shrugs. “It’s okay. Blondes are overrated.”

  “She was pretty.” Not just pretty. She was gorgeous.

  “You sound jealous.”

  “No. I’m not,” I say. “I just don’t get why you dated me. You could’ve had any girl… and you did. Why did you waste your time with me?”

  “You weren’t a waste of time,” he says. “Besides, you obviously don’t see yourself clearly. You’re hot, Kihanna.”

  I roll my eyes. “Whatever. I’m so not having sex with you.”

  “Hey, I’d take a lot longer than fifteen minutes with you,” he says. “That girl in there… she was just a fuck. But with you, I’d go slow. I’d kiss every inch of your body. I’d have you screaming long before I ever took you.”

  I try to swallow, but my mouth is dry.

  Ty has a way with words.

  Toby turns to glare at Ty. “That is my sister and I am in the car. Besides, she’s Gabe’s girl.”

  “Her loss,” Ty says, then shrugs his shoulders. “I’m just letting her know that she has other options besides Gabe. She’s been with one guy. Every girl should sleep around a little before they settle down. If you don’t, how do you know you’re really satisfied sexually?”

  “Gabe satisfies me plenty,” I say. “I don’t know why I’m telling you. It’s really none of your business.”

  Ty laughs. “Your face is red. By the way, you’re welcome for distracting you.”

  I take a breath and realize that it comes easy. “Thank you.”

  8 p.m.

  Find proof.

  My dad ended up coming home from work early. Again. He was pretty freaked out by the text. I am too. I just wanted to pretend for one second that I’m normal and that I don’t have a crazy stalker. It was dumb anyway. This is my life.

  I panicked when Dad told me I was never leaving the house again. The thought of spending my life here scares me. What if we never catch my stalker? What if home is the only safe place to be? So, I freaked out and told him I wouldn’t stay at home. That I couldn’t. Because I just can’t. I should be enjoying the last couple weeks of my senior year at Bayside Academy. Instead, I’m here.

  Then he did something completely unexpected. He said I could go back to school. The only thing is, I have to take Cole with me, Toby has to ride with us, and I have to come straight home after school. After he said that, I did a very embarrassing happy dance. It’s kind of pathetic how excited I am about school.

  Gabe doesn’t find the proof he was looking for, so he is upset when he com
es over that night.

  “It’s okay. You’ll figure it out,” I tell him confidently.

  “I will,” he agrees. “I’m just frustrated.”

  “Ty says you know who it is.”

  “I do. Know.”

  “Will you tell me?” I ask.

  “It’s safer if you don’t know.”

  “Okay. But maybe you’re going at this the wrong way. Maybe instead of looking so close at the text that was sent to me, maybe you should look at him.”

  “Kihanna, you’re a genius. I’ve been going at this all wrong.” He gets up and starts walking up the stairs.

  “Where are you going?” I ask.

  “I’m going to find proof,” he answers, not slowing down. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

  The door shuts and I am left in the basement alone.

  Thursday, May 3

  7 a.m.

  Today is about me.

  I wake up at five in the morning for school. I can’t go back to sleep, so I start getting ready. I decide to wear the jeans that I bought yesterday, because my stalker was right — my ass does look good in these jeans. Plus, I’m not going to let him ruin a four hundred dollar pair of jeans.

  After getting dressed, I eat breakfast and then check my Staying Connected page while I wait for Toby and Ty to finish getting ready.

  I have so many messages waiting for me. I just ignore those and look through everybody’s posts. For a moment, I think about updating my status and saying I’m excited for school, but then I realize that would be stupid. Why not just text my stalker and tell him exactly where I will be?

  Finally, Toby and Ty come downstairs and we wait outside while Cole brings the car around.

  “You wore the jeans,” Ty says. “I figured you would have burned them.”

  “I considered it, but I really like these jeans.”

  “I do too.”

  Toby rolls his eyes. “Are you two going to flirt all morning?”

  “We’re not flirting,” I say. “Ty’s flirting. I’m innocent in all this.”