Hold on to Love

by Roberta Capizzi

  Alyssa smiled and Sean noticed her rosy-colored cheeks; his family was going to give her a hard time, all right. Wait until she met Reese . . .

  “Here you are!”

  Speaking of the devil, Andy’s wife bustled out of the living room and seized Alyssa in a bear hug. Sean hung his head and smiled. Alyssa was doomed now, and so was he.

  “It’s so good to meet you. I couldn’t believe it when Isabel said Sean’s girlfriend would be having dinner with us. I mean, we didn’t even know he was dating someone, and Tammy said you’re from New York? It’s so great to have you here and I’m so happy I won’t be the only non-Maclaine member anymore. It’s wonderful to have someone to team up with against the Maclaine men at last.”

  “Honey, breathe, will ya?” Andy said, patting his wife’s back. She spun and gave him a hard glare.

  Alyssa chuckled, and Sean took advantage of Andy’s interruption to step in and save her from his sister-in-law’s claws. Reese was amazing, but she tended to go a little over the top at times. He wrapped an arm around Alyssa’s waist in a protective way. Andy smirked but Sean didn’t care. His brother could make fun of him all he wanted—Alyssa was worth every stupid remark and tease from him.

  “Dinner’s ready, everyone!” Tammy called from the kitchen, so they all walked down the corridor, Sean and Alyssa holding hands.

  Chapter Forty-nine

  The twins’ eyelids were starting to droop shortly after ten, and Sean’s father disappeared. When five minutes later a knock came on the door, everyone started to shout excitedly, and the twins woke up, fully aware of what was going on. They rushed to the door and yanked it open, letting out squeals when they saw Santa Claus come in.

  Alyssa felt a knot form in her throat; nobody had ever bothered putting on a masquerade for her or Derek when they were little. They would get up in the morning and find lots of beautiful presents under the tree or in their stockings, but without all the fuss of Santa Claus coming in to visit.

  After Mr. Maclaine, or actually, Santa, had emptied his bag, he disappeared into the night, reminding the twins to be good or he’d take all the presents back. Mrs. Maclaine entered the room holding a bag with presents for the grown-ups and everyone started exchanging gifts.

  Sean turned to Alyssa and gave her a sorry glance. “I FedExed your present to New York a few days ago,” he said, staring at his clasped hands. “I’m sorry you didn’t get it.”

  “Who said I didn’t get it?” Alyssa smiled and took his hands. “FedEx called me when they couldn’t find me in New York, so I had them deliver it to my hotel in Cheyenne.”

  Sean’s face brightened. “Really?”

  She nodded. “It’s in my suitcase. I thought I’d open it with you, later on tonight.” He gave her a quick peck and she smiled at his sudden shyness. “Besides, I thought I heard you promise me you’d sneak into my bedroom once everyone was asleep. You didn’t think I’d forget, did you?”

  He let out a low chuckle, making her insides twist; she loved the low rumble of his laughter, especially now that she could hear it up close again.

  Once everyone had opened their presents and the twins had run out of energy, Andy and Reese decided it was time to leave. They’d be back for the big family lunch the following day, together with Reese’s family, so there were no big goodbyes or hugs. A simple “see ya later” and they were gone, causing the rest of the family to stand up from their seats and get ready for bed, too.

  “Just so you know, my room is right across from Sean’s,” Nick told Alyssa with a wink, “So if you happen to go visit my brother during the night, try to keep it low. I’m a light sleeper, ya know.”

  Alyssa’s face turned various shades of crimson but before she could say anything to that, a head slap had reached Nick. He turned and glared at Tammy, who stuck her tongue out at him in response.

  “Stop being such a dumbhead, Nick. Leave her alone, if you don’t want Sean to kick your ass.”

  “Thanks for the advice, Flea. I’ll keep that in mind.” He dodged another head slap and left the room chuckling until he was out of earshot. Alyssa looked at Tammy with a smile.

  “Flea?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. Tammy rolled her eyes.

  “Please, don’t get me started on that. He always calls me that when he wants to piss me off.” She puffed her cheeks out in exasperation. “I can’t wait for winter break to be over, so he gets back to Cheyenne and out of my hair. Now you know why Sean’s my favorite, right?”

  “I’m your favorite what?” Sean wrapped his arms around Alyssa’s waist and placed a soft kiss on the side of her neck. Somehow, the intimate gesture didn’t feel so out of place, even though his parents could walk into the room any time. Alyssa had never felt so loved in her whole life and this public display of affection didn’t feel wrong at all.

  “Brother, of course. Nick’s already getting on my last nerve, and he’s only been here for two days. I can’t wait to get rid of him.”

  Sean laughed; with his chest against her back, the laughter reverberated through Alyssa’s body, making her belly tingle. She couldn’t wait for everyone to go to bed so that they could be alone at last.

  “Yeah, well, sorry to rain on your parade, Tammy, but you do remember he’s in his last year, right? He’ll probably be home for good in August, unless he decides to pursue his masters.” He placed another soft kiss on the side of Alyssa’s neck and she felt like she could take it no longer; the burning inside her belly was threatening to tear her apart.

  Tammy must have noticed the expression on Alyssa’s face or somehow sensed the way she was feeling, because she let the subject drop and gave her a knowing smile that made Alyssa blush a little.

  “Well, I guess I’ll go to bed now,” she said with a big, and totally fake, yawn. “Have a good night.”

  She winked at Alyssa and turned around, leaving them alone in the big, cozy living room. Sean nuzzled her neck and spun her around.

  “How about we go open that present now?” he asked in a low, husky voice. Alyssa smiled and nodded, while she wondered whether he was still referring to the actual present he’d sent her. The thought that he might be implying something else gave her goose bumps and she took big strides toward her room, needing to be alone with him at last behind a locked door.

  ***

  “Sean, my God, it’s . . . it’s . . . it’s gorgeous,” Alyssa said, holding the red velvet box in one hand and delicately caressing the heart-shaped charm with a finger.

  He’d driven all the way to Cheyenne to find something that could be good enough for her; Tammy had gone with him on the expedition and they’d browsed a few good shops before they’d found the perfect present that he could also afford.

  As soon as he’d seen it in the shop window, he’d thought of Alyssa; the green emeralds that encrusted one of the two heart-shaped charms had reminded him of her eyes, and Tammy had patted his shoulder approvingly, commending him on his choice. From the way Alyssa was staring at it now, he was pretty sure he’d picked the right one.

  “Do you really like it?” he asked, nevertheless. He was sure it was nothing like the jewelry she was used to receiving. “Because if you don’t, we can go to Cheyenne and find something else you’ll like better. I mean, I thought . . .”

  “It’s perfect, Sean. I don’t think I’ve ever received anything more beautiful than this.” Her smile was genuine and it reached all the way to her eyes, making them sparkle in the dim light of the bedside lamp. “In spite of your scarce knowledge of everything fashion, I have to say you have pretty good taste.”

  He hung his head and let out a laugh. “Well, I’m trying to shed my skin of dumb countryman and be a better man for you, something a little more civilized, closer to the kind of guys you’re used to.”

  Alyssa’s face fell and he wondered what he’d said wrong. He hadn’t said something offensive now, had he? She put the little box down next to her on the bed, and took his face in her hands, her soft, warm hands. He’d missed the tou
ch of her skin on his.

  “Sean,” she said, her stare intense and deep, “I’ve been surrounded by stiff, posh men in tailored suits and I ran away from it all because I hated it. I love you because of who you are: a loving, smart and funny man in worn jeans and cowboy hat. I wouldn’t want it any other way, Sean. Don’t you ever try to change who you are to please me, because you’d have the opposite effect.”

  Sean closed his eyes when her thumbs started tracing circles on his cheeks, and wondered how he’d ended up being so lucky. She was a smart, beautiful and sophisticated woman and she loved him; she’d given up her life for him. Somehow, he still thought he didn’t deserve her.

  Her lips brushed his in a soft peck, reassuring him.

  “I love you, you stubborn, pigheaded cowboy,” she whispered against his lips, her warm breath making his heart rate pick up. “I just wish you’d understand how special you are.”

  He opened his eyes and their gazes locked. He saw no doubt in her eyes, no cheating, nothing but love, the same kind of love he felt for her.

  “You’re the special one, Alyssa,” he said, reaching up for her hair and stroking it gently. “And I’m the luckiest man in the whole wide world to have the privilege to love you and call you my girl. I may not always be very good with words, and I may never be able to afford to take you to a fancy restaurant on a date, but I will love you and show you every single day how much you mean to me.”

  Alyssa smiled and her eyes veiled with tears. “I don’t need anything else but your love, Sean. And this,” she said, lifting the velvet box with the necklace, “this is the most precious gift I’ve ever received and I will treasure it forever.”

  Sean wiped away a single tear that had rolled down her cheek and rested his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes and inhaled her delicious smell, the sweet mix of expensive perfume and floral shampoo. His lips locked with hers and he knew right then that his life was finally complete.

  Chapter Fifty

  Christmas day

  Alyssa woke up and smiled as she took in her surroundings. This room felt more like home than her apartment in New York ever had. Last night, the Maclaines’ family dinner had warmed her heart; they were a fantastic family. They were so close and cared so much about one another; they almost acted like one of those families from some famous TV series.

  Although they had barely heard the news about her and Sean, they’d already made her feel part of the family, and she could swear she’d never felt more at home in her life. Maybe this was where she belonged, after all: not only with Sean, but with his family, too. For the first time in her life, she believed that things might actually work out.

  She knew things weren’t going to be easy; she’d be a fool to think this was going to be a bed of roses, but she was sure that somehow she’d manage. As long as she had Sean within arm’s reach she’d be fine. The moment she’d seen him outside the barn the day before, she realized that she’d never love anyone else the way she loved Sean. He was the one.

  She hadn’t considered the possibility that living so close and seeing each other every weekend could cause their relationship to whither or for things to change; although she knew that there wouldn’t always be violins playing and romantic sunsets awaiting them, she hoped they’d be able to overcome the difficulties and their differences to build something everlasting. Their stubbornness sure would help with that.

  In her haste of leaving it all behind and chasing her dream she’d decided not to plan far ahead. She was going to take one day at the time, enjoy what she would get, and sort problems out when they came up. She wasn’t going to start worrying about what would happen in a year, or in a month or even in a day. She was sure she and Sean were meant to be, and that they’d be able to overcome any difficulties as long as their love was strong.

  She rolled on her side, and took the small box Sean had given her last night; the emerald-encrusted heart charm on a silver necklace was one of the most beautiful gifts she’d ever received.

  She smiled remembering the mask of nervousness he’d worn when she’d unwrapped the silver paper and had opened the small velvet box; no matter how many times she’d told him how much she loved him he still thought he couldn’t compete with her old life, with the men she was used to frequenting in her social circle. Once she’d reassured him that she loved him just the way he was, and had proven it with a long, heated kiss, he’d looked a little more relaxed and she’d sent him back to his room before clothes were torn off.

  She suddenly felt the urge to see him. Knowing she only had to take a few steps to have those strong arms wrapped around her caused her body to tingle. She kicked off the blanket, ran into the bathroom and within fifteen minutes she was striding down the corridor toward the kitchen.

  When she entered the room, she found it was empty. Although Mrs. Maclaine had told her to make herself at home, she didn’t feel comfortable opening cupboards and making breakfast, so she went back to her room, put on her parka and woolen hat, and stepped out into the cold Wyoming morning.

  ***

  Sean had been up since dawn; he didn’t mind the fact that he couldn’t sleep in on Christmas day. The sooner he was finished with his daily routine, the sooner he’d be free to spend time with Alyssa. It would be a busy day and he wouldn’t have much time to be alone with her, with the big lunch planned for the day, just like it had been every year since they were all kids.

  Andy would be coming over with his family and, as much as he loved his nephew and niece, they were a handful and would probably stick to him all day long. His mother’s sister and her family would be coming over from Cheyenne. He was looking forward to his cousin Melanie meeting Alyssa; she was the same age as her, and he was sure the girls would bond immediately. Alyssa would need some friends to hang out with once he’d be back to his full-time schedule on the ranch and, if he knew his cousin well, she would take Alyssa on a shopping spree soon enough. No better way for girls to bond than over shopping.

  What he wasn’t looking forward to was his cousin Joe seeing Alyssa, though. He’d always been a ladies man and, with his golden-blond curls and sea-blue eyes, Joe had always been a magnet for girls all through college. Sean and Joe were the same age and hung out together the years Sean had spent in Cheyenne; Joe had helped him meet lots of chicks at the time, but his cousin was always the one who won their hearts eventually.

  He was so lost in thought that he didn’t even hear the door of the barn opening and closing, and he gave a start when two arms wrapped around his waist from behind.

  “Whoops, didn’t mean to scare you,” Alyssa said in a cheery tone. He turned back and looked at her, marveling at her beauty that early in the morning. “I thought nothing could scare a tough cowboy.”

  “Well, nothing but a beautiful woman like you can; you actually give me the creeps.”

  Alyssa put on a fake pout and loosened her grip on his waist, pretending to move away. He gripped her arms and put them back in place, encircling her waist immediately afterwards.

  “But there’s nothing like a good ol’ fright first thing in the morning to keep the heart working properly, so thank you,” he said with a smirk before dipping his head for a kiss.

  Her lips were cold and soft, and she tasted of mint, reminding him of a fresh breath of wintry mountain air. Her body molded against his and a minute into the kiss he’d completely forgotten how freezing cold he’d been only a few minutes before.

  “God, I love you,” he said when they pulled back to breathe. He kissed her brow softly and took a step back. “But you’d better get back inside before you freeze to death. Besides, I’ll never get anything done if you stay here, and I need to finish everything so I can get dressed up for lunch.”

  Alyssa smiled and looped her arms around his neck, placing a soft kiss on his lips. “Oookay, Cowboy.”

  She spun on her heels and he slapped her bottom just before she was out reach, eliciting a giggle from her as she sashayed toward the door. Having her so clo
se still felt like a dream; he couldn’t wait to be finished with his tasks so he could cuddle her for a while before the crazy family reunion.

  ***

  In spite of Mrs. Maclaine’s objections, Alyssa spent most of the morning helping her cook lunch, and the rest of the morning she helped Tammy arrange the dining room. They had moved all the small square tables that were used by guests into a big rectangular dining table in the middle of the room. Candles and holly centerpieces created the perfect Christmas setting; the fire crackling in the hearth and the big Christmas tree in the corner gave it a homey feeling.

  Once everything was ready, Mrs. Maclaine shooed her away so she went back into her room and carefully got dressed. She picked a dark-green knit dress she’d bought a few days ago while she was in Cheyenne, with a turtleneck and three-quarter sleeves; she took out Sean’s necklace from the box and put it on, admiring its delicate beauty in the mirror. She’d received so many expensive gifts over the years, but none of them would ever compare to this simple, yet beautiful, heart-shaped charm.

  She brushed her hair and pinned it at the sides of her head with sparkly clips; she put on a little green eye-shadow, a brush of mascara and red lipstick, and completed it all with a generous spray of her favorite perfume, the one Sean had told her made him want to smother her with kisses.

  She smiled at the reflection in the mirror; she’d never looked happier in her life.

  A knock on the door made her heart flutter; it was his trademark knock, a sort of a code, he’d said, that would make her understand who it was even before she opened the door. Not that she would need a knock, though; it seemed like every time he was near her body simply knew it. She got tingles all over and her heart rate picked up. It was as if they were magnets attracting each other.

  She opened the door with a smile on her face, and his jaw dropped.

  “Good God,” he said, staring wide-eyed at her from her head down to her toes and up again. “I . . . you . . .”