Living for Today

by Kennedy, Brenda

  When Ava yawns, I finish my move and stand to leave. “Looks like you’ll have to wait until tomorrow to wallow in self pity.”

  She yawns again. “You’re leaving? I’m just about ready to attack with my queen.”

  I pull her chair out for her. “Come on, Queenie. You’ll have to save your queen for tomorrow, For tonight, it’s lights out for you.” She shuffles into the bathroom and comes out wearing a tee-shirt and shorts. I hold the covers up for her to crawl into bed. “Goodnight, Ava.” I bend down and kiss her on her forehead. I leave my mouth there longer than I intended to. I’ve always had a special place in my heart for Ava. I inhale one last time before standing to leave. “Sweet dreams.”

  “Chase?”

  “Yes, Ava?”

  She turns on her side. “Thank you for everything. Not just for tonight, but for the things I can’t remember you’ve done for me.”

  She never has to thank me for anything. “It’s always my pleasure.” I turn off her lamp before closing the door tightly. I can’t think of one thing that I wouldn’t do for her.

  I walk upstairs to my room and notice that Nichole’s door is open and her light is on. I knock gently.

  “Come in.”

  I open her door and stand in the doorway. “Still up?”

  “I am. Too excited to sleep.”

  She’s sitting on her bed with her laptop opened. “Is that it?”

  “It is.”

  She turns her laptop around for me to see. I scan each image and I smile my approval. “Very nice.”

  “We have an appointment at 10:00 am.” She looks again at the images on the computer screen. “Are you sure you don’t mind? You’ve done so much for me already.”

  “Nichole, I’m thrilled to be able to help you with this next chapter in your life. I spoke to Marshall and he also wants to go with us. I hope that’s okay.”

  “Oh, that’s wonderful. I’d love to have another set of eyes. Thank you. What a great idea.”

  “I’m heading to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Goodnight, Chase.”

  I shower before bed, because in the morning it won’t do me any good. Nichole, Marshall, and I are on a mission, and it’ll be a dirty one. I toss and turn, not sure if I slept at all. The smell of coffee is welcoming. It lets me know I can soon get my caffeine fix, and that others in the house are up. I dress in jeans, a flannel shirt, and a pair of tan Timberlands before making my way to the kitchen. I assumed I would be one of the first few up, but I was wrong. Every guy in the house is already dressed and sitting at the kitchen table. “Mornin’.” Maybe I did sleep last night.

  I walk past them to the coffee pot where Jessica, Claire, Rachael, and Nichole are standing. I fill my mug with hot coffee and Marshall says, “We have a small problem.”

  I have no idea what he can be talking about. The only problem that I can think of is Brett, and I know he isn’t a problem. “I’m listening.”

  “The girls all want to go and look at Nichole’s possible new business.” And right on cue, here come Skylar and Ava from their separate bedrooms.

  Skylar says, “Yep, we want to see it, too.”

  I look at Nichole, “I thought you wanted to keep it a secret?” Women and their secrets.

  She laughs and bares a huge smile. “I had to tell someone. Rachael, Drew, and Daniel are also coming.”

  “That’s fine.” I look at Skylar and Ava. “I want you to understand that it isn’t open for business. What you have imagined in your head for a bakery isn’t what you’ll be seeing today.”

  “We know. Remember this place when we looked at it.”

  How could I forget. “Okay. Just didn’t want you to have unrealistic expectations.”

  They are both dressed as if they’ll be crawling in a basement. Ava slips her foot into a boot. “We won’t.”

  We get ready and I’m surprised at everyone who wants to go and show their support for Nichole. We take three cars and head out to the location where Nichole instructed us to go. When we arrive, there is one Realtor there to show us, all of us, the property. When three carloads full of people pull up, I feel bad for the guy.

  Marshall, Drew, Mark, and Daniel take off and walk around the building, while Nichole and I and the others stay and listen to his sales pitch. He opens the door to the bakery first, then the door leading upstairs to the apartment next. Skylar and Ava take off for the stairs while everyone else roams around the bakery. It actually looks better than I thought it would. The building comes equipped with the ovens, refrigerators, industrial appliances, the display cabinets and shelves, and the serving dishes. Everything seems to be in working order. The bakery is even large enough for two-top and four-top tables.

  I check the pipes and the plumbing, and Nichole checks the lighting and the windows. When we go upstairs, Skylar and Ava are coming down the stairs. They don’t give us any idea of their opinion of the upstairs apartment. That has me concerned. Girls are usually giddy when they like something. Aren’t they?

  The upstairs is open and airy. Large windows, beautiful hardwood floors, granite counters, Spanish-style light fixtures, and stainless steel appliances.

  “Wow, I didn’t see this coming,” I say honestly.

  Nichole remains quiet and walks into each of the bedrooms. “Two bedrooms with walk-in closets and they each have an ensuite bathroom,” she says louder than necessary.

  “I know,” Ava yells from downstairs.

  We all laugh. I leave and meet the guys outside. I want to see the structure of the building before Nichole signs off on the loan papers. I’m pretty sure if she has her way, this place is already sold.

  The guys and I all agree the structure of the building is sound and the asking price seems fair. It seems like a good deal, but I’m glad it’s a holiday so Nichole will have some time to think about it. I know the apartment alone is enough to make me want to put a bid in it just for myself.

  Once we’re done here, we head back to the inn. The Christmas party begins this evening at 5:00 and I still have a few things I need to do. I take everyone home and head out to do some last-minute shopping.

  Ava

  I’m so happy to see Nichole excited about something. I may be even more excited knowing she might be moving to Savannah. It might be selfish on my part. I can’t help it. I like her and sometimes I think of how much I miss my family and the few friends whom I know.

  “Are you already making mental plans of what you’ll do with it?” I ask.

  She giggles. “No, you heard Chase. He said to think about it.”

  “Making plans is thinking about it, isn’t it?”

  Skylar interrupts, “Sure is. I’d give it a fresh coat of paint, and call it home.”

  “You would. There’s so much to think about? Taxes, insurance, parking, hours of operation. How much staff will be needed to run it?” I put the ham in the oven and set the timer.

  “There’s a lot to consider. That’s for sure.” Nichole looks worried.

  “I’m not saying you can’t make it happen. I think with the right staff, you’ll have one heck of a successful business.”

  “Thank you, Ava. You’ve always been so kind and sweet.”

  “It’s true, Nichole. If I can help you in anyway, let me know.”

  “I will. I just need to make a smart decision. Being new to the area and not knowing anyone will make it difficult to find staff to work for me.”

  “We did it,” Skylar says.

  We prepare the food and get the house ready for the party. The house feels and smells like Christmas. Cranberry candles are burning in every room, electric candles are plugged in and glowing in every window, the Christmas lights outside are lit, and music is playing from inside the foyer.

  I look at the clock and it’s almost 5:00. Chase isn’t home yet, and I begin to worry. I walk into the kitchen and everyone is either busy preparing food, or they’re busy fixing their drinks. I just watch the interaction of our combined families an
d I feel extremely blessed to be a part of such an amazing group of people. I watch Rachael, Daniel, Drew, and Skylar. They’re laughing and seem to be having a good time. They seem to have accepted Skylar with open arms, which makes me feel good. She’s an amazing person, and she and Drew seem to get along so well. Drew looks over at me and flashes me a perfect smile that makes me think of Xander.

  “Am I late?” a voice asks in a whisper. It’s Chase.

  Looking at my watch, I say, “You’re just in time.” Since everyone is here, I can now enjoy the party. I pour a glass of wine and walk around and mingle listening to a little of everyone’s conversations.

  I can’t remember my past, but something about this evening is very familiar. Everyone is dressed up in dresses and suits and ties. Something unsettling comes over me giving me the feeling of doom. I hate when this happens. This mostly happens in my sleep in the form of night terrors. I shiver from the cold chills that now freeze me from the inside out.

  I focus my attention on my family and friends. At least in my waking hours, I can control the thoughts that try to consume my mind. Dad sees me and walks over to join me on the far side of the room. Chase smiles at me from across the room and it warms me.

  “Are you having a good time?” Dad asks.

  “I am. Everyone I love is gathered here in celebration. It’s a lot to be thankful for.”

  “It is. This year brought new people into our lives.”

  Looking at Drew and his family, I smile. “I’m grateful for that.”

  When Chase joins us, Dad asks, “Let’s eat, shall we?”

  We sit around the large dining room table with the food set out in front of us. After Mark says the blessing, we eat. Laughter fills the air with stories of past Christmas mishaps, holidays gone wrong, and family bloopers. It’s nice to laugh and know that not every family is perfect.

  Jessica shares a story of when she was a small child. It was Christmas Eve and she and her brother got up to see if Santa Claus came yet. She says, “Under the tree was a pedal-powered, red fire engine truck for her brother. It said ‘Fire Chief” across each side in white letters. It even had wooden ladders and a bell. I knew right then that Santa Claus was real because our parents didn’t have that kind of money.” She smiles and the memory. “I think it was the best Christmas ever.”

  Drew says, “I remember that one year Xander and I got almost identical bikes for Christmas.” He laughs and says, “Imagine that.” His dad laughs and clears his throat. “Sorry. Anyway, one was blue and one was red. I always got everything blue, but that year, I cried and cried because that was year I wanted the red one.”

  I remember Rachael saying she had to dress the twins in colored socks when they were born so Daniel could tell which child was which. Then yesterday, Skylar picked out Drew in the baby photos from the blue socks he wore in every picture. I glance up at him and he’s wearing a navy blue tie. I guess the color blue has stuck with him.

  Chase shares a story about when he was in college. He needed some extra money during Christmas so he got a job playing Santa Claus at Macy’s Department Store. “On the first day of my job, I got dressed in my Santa suit and went to work. Never being around kids, I really never knew what to expect.”

  “I would love being around kids all day long,” I say excitedly. I can only imagine how amazing it was for him.

  “Would you?” he asks. “Let me recall my glorious experience with you. The first child kicked me. One child wiped a boogie on my sleeve. And let’s not forget about the little girl who sneezed in my face.”

  “No!” I laugh.

  “Oh, yeah. Flying snot and all.”

  “That’s gross,” Skylar laughs.

  “Yeah, it was. The vomit was worse.”

  “She vomited, too?” I ask.

  “No, I did.”

  Thankful his story came at the end of dinner. We have dessert and coffee as we talk about this holiday. “I didn’t know what to get everyone for Christmas this year, so I decided on a group gift,” Chase says.

  Marshall says, “Chase, you didn’t have to get anyone anything.”

  “I wanted to. When I saw it, I thought it was appropriate.” He pulls out a picture from his back pocket and sets it in the center of the table. “I bought a tree that’ll be planted in Xander’s memory outside of Carla Jo Dean’s Restaurant.” He pauses for a moment. “I stand corrected, it’ll be in Jami Alexander’s memory.” He explains that Skylar told him about the books Xander got from Carla Jo Dean and about meeting her for the first time. “She’s a big fan of Jami’s and is more than happy to have a tree planted in his memory.”

  “You did this today?” Rachael asks.

  “It’s been in the works for a few days. The tree and the plaque.” He points to the oak tree and plaque in the photo and says, “I bought this today.”

  “Chase, I don’t know what to say,” Daniel says.

  “You don’t need to say anything. Carla Jo Dean would like to have a small memorial in the spring when the tree is planted. I know Xander’s identity is a secret, but maybe we all could plan to attend that as a fan. She said she’ll be in touch with a date.”

  “Man, this is really something,” Drew says. “To have some big personality like Carla Jo Dean want to pay a tribute to Xander.”

  “He was a big deal,” I say. I’m not talking about his author status either.

  Rachael stands to hug Chase. “Thank you. It’s nice to know that there’ll be a place we can go to remember our son.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  We pass the photo of the tree and the plaque around the table. It’s totally unexpected and a pleasant surprise.

  Nichole says, “I also have an announcement. It’s not as big as Chase’s, but it’s exciting to me.”

  “You made an offer on the bakery?” I tease.

  “I did and they accepted.”

  Wait? What? “I was only kidding.”

  “I loved it, and I have so many plans for it. I couldn’t wait until after Christmas to make an offer. As soon as Chase and the guys confirmed the building was solid, I called the Realtor and made an offer.”

  “And they accepted?” Chase asked.

  “And they accepted,” she squeals.

  “Looks like this calls for some champagne,” Dad says, standing to walk into the kitchen.

  We stand from the table and take the celebration into the other room. I hug Rachael, Daniel, and Drew. I also hug Chase and thank him for being an amazing guy. As the evening goes on and the celebration continues, Rachael takes me by the hand and leads me to the other room where the Christmas tree is sitting in the center of the large picture window. “We have something to give you, but we didn’t want to do it with everyone watching.”

  I look from her to Daniel. “I have something for you guys, too.”

  “Ava, this isn’t from us, it’s from Xander.”

  My heart skips a beat. Holding onto the wall for support, I say, “Oh.”

  Daniel helps me to the couch where I sit gingerly. I watch as he goes to the tree and removes two packages. “Do you want to be alone?”

  I don’t know, do I? “I think I do.”

  “We understand.” He places two gifts on my lap. The gift tags are written in Xander’s handwriting. Gently, I trail my shaky fingers over the words. Someone pats my shoulder, but I have no idea who. When I hear the pocket doors close, I know I’m alone. I open the smaller gift on top first. Careful to not rip the paper, I remove the tape from one side of the package at a time. With shaky hands and tears in my eyes, I remove the lid to the box. Tucked inside is a handwritten note from Xander.

  Ava,

  If you’re opening this, it means that I didn’t survive the cancer. Don’t cry. I had an amazing life and the last few months with you were nothing less than amazing. Probably the best in my entire life. My only regret is, I didn’t have more time with you. This gift is to remind you that life goes on and it stops for nothing. Don’t wait for tomorrow, it ma
y never come.

  Thank you for sharing your life with me. It made my life worth living.

  Xander

  When the tears stop, I remove the cotton that’s protecting the gift, revealing a sterling silver infinity bracelet. Infinity, life goes on and on. I put it on and admire it. It’s simple and beautiful. Removing the remnants of this gift, I focus on the next, larger gift. This gift tag isn’t written in Xander’s handwriting. Taking a deep breath, I just as carefully remove the wrapping paper. This gift isn’t inside a box. I’m excited and surprised to see the gift is Jami Alexander’s not-yet published book, Lost in Savannah. I’ve never had the opportunity to read a book from an author prior to being published before. This alone is pretty exciting. I hold it and admire the stunning cover as I realize that the image used is of my bed and breakfast. Xander took a photo of Rose Bud Inn and used it for his own book cover. I had no idea. I turn it over and read the blurb before opening it up and reading the inside flap. The book is signed and addressed to me. It reads:

  Ava,

  The sad truth is, I came to Savannah to die, but instead, I lived more in those few months than I have my entire life. Ava, my wish for you is to be happy. Find your passion and follow your heart. I want you to live your life the happiest you can possibly be. To forget the past and to seek an amazing future. Sometimes, happiness is standing right in front of you.

  When you read this book, I think you’ll see some resemblance to the woman who stole my heart.

  You will always be the only one for me.

  Love always, Xander

  Chapter Five: A New Year

  Ava

  Christmas was wonderful. It came and went too fast in my opinion. Just before everyone leaves, I remember that Dad said he wanted to talk to me.

  “Hey, we didn’t get to talk.”

  “That’s okay, it can wait until the next time.”

  “Are you sure? I have some time now.”

  “I’m sure.”

  He wanted to talk to me in private, it sounded like it was important. “Okay, whatever you say.”