Desire in Frost

by Alicia Rades

  “You didn’t know,” I whispered so quietly that even if he was awake, Robin wouldn’t have heard me.

  They both looked back at me with a quizzical expression.

  “That’s what you said to me,” I explained to Scott. I heard a stir from the other bed and looked over at Robin. He was still asleep, but I lowered my voice anyway. “I thought you misspoke when I asked you where Hope was. You said, ‘I didn’t know.’ You meant you didn’t know about Penny, didn’t you?”

  I could see it in his eyes. That’s what Lauren wanted to tell him that night they were dancing together. That’s what he never knew.

  “Look,” Scott said. “Lauren isn’t dangerous. She’s just . . . not herself. You need to get Hope back to her mom for everyone’s sake. Lauren needs help.”

  Everything was making sense to me now, but I still had so many questions. Why did Lauren take Hope in the first place? Why didn’t anyone suspect her? Where was Hope now?

  “Where is she?” I asked, but before I could get an answer, both figures disappeared the same moment a voice cut through the momentary silence.

  “Who are you talking to?”

  My head jerked toward Robin in surprise. My heart sped up, and my breathing quickened. I’d just been caught, and I couldn’t meet his gaze. “Um . . . myself,” was all I could say. I could already feel my eyebrow twitching before I said it.

  Robin narrowed his eyes at me. It was that same look everyone else gave me when I told them I was psychic, like they didn’t quite believe me.

  I could feel my face flush. I wasn’t sure if it was because I’d been caught talking to ghosts or because seeing him made me think about our kiss last night.

  “You were talking to yourself?” Robin asked skeptically.

  I still couldn’t meet his gaze. Since I’d learned about my powers, I’d been wary about telling anyone. My mother warned me about telling people, but as my eyes lifted to meet Robin’s stare, I saw a glimmer of something in them. For a moment, I thought he might actually believe me. I again wondered if Robin had a gift like Teddy did, a heightened intuition. If he did, I couldn’t pass up a chance to share this with someone my own age.

  I sighed, preparing myself to divulge my secret. It felt like the right thing to do. “Okay,” I started slowly. “I wasn’t talking to myself. I was . . .” I didn’t know if I could say it, yet Robin had been so nice to me after I thought I saw the abductor in the gas station. Maybe he had realized I was psychic and took a liking to me because of it. I wrung my hands in my lap. It all made sense, so he’d have to believe me, right?

  I took another deep breath and forced down any uncertainties I had about telling him. “I was talking to a ghost,” I told him slowly. “Well, two, actually.” I couldn’t look at him when I said this. I was always afraid of people’s reactions after I told them. For some reason, though, telling Robin brought even more fear and nerves to my body. In all fairness, I didn’t know him that well. I used that as justification for why I was feeling so weird telling him my secret.

  I waited for what seemed like forever, but it must have only been a split second. Robin didn’t react the way I thought he would. I was expecting one of two things. Either he would excitedly admit he was psychic, too, or he would scoff and make fun of me. Either way, I would know if he was psychic or not.

  But neither of those things happened. He just sat in his bed and looked at me expressionless. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking.

  “Robin?” I finally broke the silence.

  His expression shifted. My heart sank deep into my chest when he said, “Are you trying to tell me our hotel room is haunted? I’m not going to fall for that.”

  I held my breath in an attempt to think straight. What did that even mean? Was he saying he didn’t believe me?

  “Robin,” I scolded. “Be serious for a second. I’m trying to tell you a very important secret, and it’s really hard for me.” I forced myself to meet his gaze to gauge his reaction.

  A smile formed across his face, and for a second, I thought this was it. I thought that he was going to tell me he was psychic. Instead, he just sarcastically said, “Yeah, okay.”

  “Wait, you mean, you’re not psychic?” I thought I had put the pieces together and that I had figured him out. I could feel he had a secret, and being psychic seemed logical seeing as Teddy had some sort of gift, too.

  He laughed. A hole formed at the pit of my stomach, and my eyes burned. I couldn’t believe I’d just divulged my deepest secret to someone who didn’t understand. Mom had told me people would use it against me. She had warned me about telling too many people. Suddenly, Robin felt like one too many, and that made my heart ache on a deeper level than I thought possible.

  Disappointment washed over me when I realized my suspicions about him were completely off. If he wasn’t psychic, then what secret was he hiding? I asked the question in my mind, and suddenly, the answer came to me. Certain things about him started making sense, like how he always wore long pants, how he wouldn’t go swimming with me or touch the water on the beach, and how he wouldn’t jump up and down at the concert. That’s why he’d scowled at me when I ran around the motel and made fun of me because I played sports. It’s why he wanted to go into occupational therapy.

  “I am psychic!” I insisted. I couldn’t stand the thought of him not believing me. He just had to. “I’ll prove it. If I’m not psychic, how do I know about your prosthetic leg?”

  Robin recoiled in shock.

  “Your ‘defense mechanism?’ You’re self-conscious because of your leg.”

  Anger flickered across Robin’s face, but then his expression shifted. “That doesn’t prove anything.”

  “How else would I have known?” I challenged.

  “My uncle,” he said as if the answer was obvious. And it was. Why hadn’t the universe given me something good to convince him with?

  “Let’s stop playing games,” Robin insisted. “I know you’re just trying to get out of talking about what happened last night.”

  I was momentarily confused, thinking he was talking about my vision on the dance floor, but how could he know about that? An instant later, the rest came back to me.

  “Oh. Right. Our kiss.” I could hardly say the words myself, as if saying it was admitting it happened. My voice came out as a whisper. “I’m sorry about that. I, uh, wasn’t myself.”

  “Sorry? Crystal, if I remember right, I was the one who kissed you.”

  19

  I gaped at him for a second before composing myself. I had assumed the kiss was my body acting on the motion in the vision. Nothing about this seemed to make sense right now.

  Most of all, I couldn’t figure out why he would kiss me. Especially not when he had a . . . I interrupted my own thoughts so I could speak. “But, you have a girlfriend! I won’t help you cheat on someone.”

  His brow furrowed in confusion. “A girlfriend? Where’d you get that idea?”

  “That girl you’re always texting. I asked you if she was your girlfriend, and you said she was.”

  Robin looked confused for a moment and then threw his head back and laughed. “Sage? I may have said something, but I never said she was my girlfriend. You assumed that all by yourself. She’s just my lab partner. We were talking about our homework project. And I wasn’t just texting her.”

  Something about this newfound knowledge left me with a sense of relief. It meant that Robin was available that we could . . . Wait. “But we’re, like, cousins,” I pointed out.

  Robin shifted and came to sit on the edge of his bed just a few feet from my own. His body was so close to mine now, and it felt like as each second passed, he closed the gap another inch. He was still wearing his jeans, but he didn’t have a shirt on. I couldn’t help but notice the fantastic curves of his abs. I looked away quickly before he would notice, and I discovered I was biting my lip. I stopped instantly.

  “Crystal, it’s not like it’s incest. We’re not actually cousins.�
�� The way he said it sounded like an invitation, which only made my desire to touch his polished skin burn brighter.

  "And what if it doesn't work out?" I asked. "Wouldn't things be weird between us?"

  Robin shrugged. "And what if it does work out? You wouldn't want to miss that chance, would you?"

  Silence stretched between us as if the questions didn't actually need answering.

  “So, what?” I finally asked in a quiet voice. “You like me?” I couldn’t believe I was asking him that, nor could I contain my heart in anticipation of his response.

  He smiled that sideways smile that made me go faint. I longed to kiss him again. “What’s not to like? You have a strong personality, you’re a lot of fun to be around, and you’re really pretty.”

  I could hardly focus on his words. All I could pay attention to right now was his fingers caressing my face when he said I was pretty.

  "Plus, I really feel like I can talk to you," Robin said. "All that stuff I said on the beach—about my insecurities. I wouldn't admit that to just anyone. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since. About . . . doing this."

  The next few moments passed in slow motion. My heart thumped quicker in my chest, yet the sound of my pulse slowed in my ears as if time altogether decelerated. Robin’s hands came to cradle my face as he leaned across the space between the beds and pressed his lips to mine. I met his lips in return. I was too overcome with a need for him to even wonder if I was doing it right.

  The last few moments disappeared to the back of my mind as a greater sensation overcame me. I completely forgot my anxiety about telling him my secret. His reaction didn’t even register in my mind as my lips crushed into his for a second time.

  His hand moved into my hair and then trailed across the back of my neck. His tongue lightly grazed my lips. I wanted to grab and claw at him and press my body tight against his.

  Instead, I pulled away. Part of my mind scolded my actions, but I thanked another for being rational. We both breathed deeply as we came up for air. I couldn’t help but marvel at Robin’s smile, and when I couldn’t take it anymore, my face broke into a full on grin. I’d never imagined a first kiss—or rather, a second kiss—would feel like that. But as much as I didn’t want it to ever end, it didn’t feel right with everything else happening right now that needed my immediate attention.

  I didn’t have to say anything. Robin nodded his head in understanding. “Thank you,” he said.

  “For what?”

  “Pulling me off of you.”

  I laughed.

  “I mean, Uncle Teddy and your mom trust us. It just wouldn’t be right to do it here.”

  My eyes widened.

  He caught a glimpse of my face and quickly corrected himself. “No! I didn’t mean that! I respect you. I mean . . . Let’s just take it easy.”

  A part of me didn’t want to. A part of me wanted to jump on him and lock my lips to his and never stop. But I knew exactly what he was saying.

  “It’s just that I really like you is all I’m saying,” Robin explained.

  My heart fluttered at the compliment, but I also knew I needed to put some distance between us. He was right. It wouldn’t be right to break Mom and Teddy’s trust.

  “Well, uh, I’m going to go to the bathroom,” I announced, my anxiety showing through in my tone.

  Once I had a chance to get away from him for a few moments, Robin suddenly became less important in my mind. I desperately wanted him to believe me, but the fact that he still liked me even if he didn’t accept my abilities left me with a sense of comfort.

  Still, I had bigger things on my plate. I hopped in the shower and let the mystery of Hope’s abduction consume me. Now I had most of the pieces to the puzzle, although it should have been obvious to begin with. I still had one problem, though. I had to rescue Hope. But what could I do? Lauren already knew my face. She knew what car we drove. She would never open the door to us. Besides, what would happen if she did? How would that actually help anyone?

  When I exited the shower and was pulling on my clothes from the day before, a knock sounded at the bathroom door. “Do you want to go downstairs to get some breakfast?” Robin asked through the door.

  “Why don’t you go on without me? I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

  I heard the door to our room click behind him. I quickly reached into my purse and grabbed a handful of change and turned to make my way down to the lobby.

  Just then, my phone rang. The caller I.D. said it was Emma, so I answered right away. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Crystal. Are you ready for our yoga session? I texted you but you haven’t answered yet.”

  I pulled my phone away from my face. Sure enough, there was a message notification. “Sorry. There’s just been a lot going on lately. I don’t think I can join you this morning.”

  “Why not?” Emma’s voice filled with disappointment.

  “I don’t have my computer with me, so we can’t video chat.”

  “Use your phone,” Emma suggested.

  “Now’s not a good time,” I admitted. “My yoga mat isn’t even here.”

  “What? Where are you?”

  I wanted to tell Emma about Robin so badly, but I knew she’d just rub it in my face that she was right. My heart flipped at the thought as I replayed Robin’s kiss in my mind. I was glad she was right, yet I had so much more to tell her. “Well, uh, how much time do you have?”

  “I still have time before I have to leave for school.”

  Right. It was only Wednesday, so classes were still going on.

  Emma’s tone shifted and rose a few notes. “Are there juicy details?”

  I couldn’t help but smile. Yes! I wanted to shout, but I kept my cool. “Well, let’s just say you were right about Robin.”

  Her voice rose about two octaves as she squealed into the receiver. I had to pull the phone away from my ear to avoid hearing loss. I could feel my face flame in response to her excitement.

  “What happened?” Emma asked once she calmed herself down. “And where are you?”

  “We kind of got stuck in a hotel room together,” I confessed.

  “Like, overnight? Did anything happen?” I could practically hear her raising her eyebrows suggestively through the phone.

  The idea of teasing her with fake juicy details crossed my mind, but I was too excited about what did happen between us that I told Emma the truth.

  There was a brief silence, and in that moment, I remembered the change in my hand. I knew there were more important matters to attend to than spilling details about my love life, no matter how much I wanted to talk about it.

  “Speaking about love,” Emma started, but I cut her off.

  “Look, Emma, I have to go. I’ll tell you everything later about me and Robin and everything else that’s happened, okay?”

  “Okay, I guess.” Disappointment held heavy in her voice. “Well, have fun! Bye.”

  I hung up the phone and plugged it in to charge—luckily I had my charger in my purse—before leaving the hotel room. When I reached the first floor, I hung around the corner near the payphone and peeked toward the breakfast area to check on Robin. He was facing away from me and trying to choose a muffin flavor.

  I turned toward the payphone and slipped a quarter in. I didn’t know if I actually needed one to dial 911, but I put it in anyway. When a voice picked up on the other end, I lowered my tone and gave her Lauren’s address and told her that’s where Hope Ross was.

  “Can you please tell me your name?” the woman on the other end of the line asked.

  I hesitated. I couldn’t. They’d ask too many questions, and they wouldn’t believe me. I hung up. Just because I was paranoid, I used the bottom of my shirt to wipe the phone of any prints, even though they didn’t have my prints on file and that didn’t make a whole lot of sense.

  My heart beat wildly against the walls of my chest at the same time I breathed a sigh of relief. This was all over for me now. The polic
e would find Hope, Lauren would get the mental help she needed, and Penny and Scott could cross over.

  My nerves eased, and I smiled as I basked in the glory of completing another psychic mission. I finally rounded the corner to meet Robin for breakfast. Now that I knew Hope would be safe, I let myself focus on Robin. I filled my plate with free food—they even had bagels, my favorite—and went back to sit by him. He smiled across the table at me, and I couldn’t help but get lost in his eyes.

  I took a gamble and asked him about his leg about halfway through our breakfast. “So, what happened?”

  Robin shifted, and I could tell the subject was uncomfortable for him.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to prod or anything. I’m just curious.”

  “No, it’s okay,” he assured me. “It was a bad car accident a couple of years ago. All I lost was a leg. It could have been worse.”

  All he lost was a leg? He seemed a little too optimistic about the situation, but something about his positive attitude made me like him a little bit more.

  “And you can still drive?” I asked.

  “Oh, sure. No problem.”

  I wasn’t sure how much the subject bothered him, so I dropped it, and we talked about happier things like his music. He told me a little more about his friends who were in his band, and I shared a few of the less embarrassing stories about Emma, Derek, and me. We went back and forth like this for what seemed like hours but probably wasn’t. I laughed at his stories and was honestly enjoying myself.

  In the middle of our lighthearted chat, a strange but all too familiar sensation suddenly overcame me. My joy came to a screeching halt when I looked up and saw a girl with dark brown hair and green eyes standing at the other end of the room. Penny stared back at me with an expression that told me this wasn’t over yet.