Desire in Frost

by Alicia Rades

  20

  I excused myself and dropped my paper plate in the trashcan Penny was standing next to.

  “What is it?” I hissed more sharply than I intended. I was sure this was all over and Hope would be returned safely home, but the look in Penny’s eyes told me I wasn’t even close to done with this mission.

  “They’re gone!”

  “What?” I kept my voice low and glanced around to make sure no one heard me. Robin was rising from his chair and would be next to me in a matter of moments. I threw Penny a glance to make it quick.

  “They’re not at my house anymore. You still have to find her.”

  I could feel Robin’s heat radiating off his body as he came in close to me, almost touching, and threw his own dishes in the garbage.

  “Ready?” Robin asked.

  I wanted to smile up at him and never let go of the mood I was in just moments ago, but the high I was feeling plummeted to the ground as I processed what Penny had said. I didn’t think about what I was doing when I wrapped my arms around Robin’s waist and rested my head on his chest. I just needed a bit of emotional support. His fresh spring scent soothed me.

  “You okay?” Robin asked, running a hand through my hair.

  I pulled away from him and forced a smile onto my face. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I turned away quickly when my eyebrow started twitching.

  We spent the next few hours in our hotel room listening to music until the garage called and told us our car was ready for pick up.

  I tried my best not to worry about Hope in those few hours. Part of me was really enjoying Robin’s company and wanted to bask in the glory of it. Another part of me trusted that wherever Lauren took Hope, the police would use my anonymous tip and somehow track them down. I also reminded myself that I still didn’t know where Hope was and that the best thing I could do was forget about her and enjoy myself so that another vision would come and show me where to find her. Yet my heart knotted while I guiltily enjoyed myself instead of focusing on Hope.

  The hotel graciously let us ride their shuttle to the garage. When we got there, the car looked good as new apart from the few scratches that remained. It was hard to believe that just yesterday the tires were slashed and the windows were smashed.

  Soon enough, we were on the road. Being in the car again only made me think back to what the vehicle looked like the day before when we walked out of the restaurant. I remembered the note still shoved in my pocket. I couldn’t look at it, but it made me think of how serious Lauren was about Hope. I still didn’t quite understand what drove her to take her away from her mother. In fact, there were a lot of things I still didn’t understand, but I knew there was nothing I could do about it right now. I’d already tipped off the cops, and that was the best solution I could think of.

  The series of events that had transpired over the last few days once again ran through my mind, and I thought back to when I had tried to tell Robin I was psychic, only he didn’t believe me. But he still liked me. I didn’t get it, but I knew that above all else, I wanted—no, I needed—him to believe me.

  My hands knotted in my lap, trying to work up the courage to talk about it. I’d only told people close to me, people who had known me for years. None of them seemed to flat out reject the idea as much as Robin had, yet right now, he was the one I wanted to believe me the most.

  For the longest time, I didn’t think I could bring up the subject again. To ease my shaky hands, I knew I needed to give them something to do, so I dug my phone out of my purse and texted Emma. I noticed she’d already left me a text asking about the details between Robin and me, so I told her as much as I could. I wasn’t expecting her to respond because I knew she was in class, but she must have snuck her phone in because she texted me back right away. Sounds romantic!

  Yeah, but there’s more, I texted back. And then I went on to tell her as much as I could through text about what had happened with Hope over the past few days. But Robin doesn’t believe me, I complained. I really want him to.

  Have you told him about Hope?

  Not yet.

  Well, maybe you should.

  I really wanted to take Emma’s advice, but it was hard enough for me to tell him in the first place. I didn’t want to get rejected again, especially now that I knew he didn’t share my gift in any capacity.

  Did you find Derek’s dog? I asked when Emma didn’t text for a while.

  Not yet, she texted back with a sad face.

  Are you using your, I paused typing, trying to come up with the right word, abilities?

  I’ve already told you I don’t have psychometry.

  But you get feelings. Go around town and see which direction feels right, I suggested. Maybe get Sophie and Diane to help.

  That’s a good point. Now go convince Robin what you can do.

  I smiled at Emma’s last text. It was so like her. I sat in my seat quietly for several long minutes, stealing glances Robin’s way to try gauging what would convince him. I rolled my owl necklace between my fingers for good luck and took a deep breath. I opened my mouth to cut through the music playing in the car, but my jaw snapped tight before I could get a sound out. I must have done this two or three more times as I contemplated what to say to him, until I finally managed to squeak out his name.

  Robin looked at me and turned the radio down. “Something bothering you?” His eyes shifted between me and the road.

  My gaze fell to my hands. “I’m fine.” I didn’t even bother hiding my twitching face this time. The lie showed through in my tone.

  Robin glanced at me again and then turned his eyes back to the road. “No, you’re not. Is it about us? Because we don’t have to kiss again if it’s too weird.”

  “No!” I practically shouted. I didn’t want to think about ending things with him, even though we weren’t anything official yet.

  “I mean, it’s not that. It’s . . .” I didn’t speak for several long seconds, and Robin let me have a moment to collect my thoughts. “It’s about what I told you earlier. I know you think I’m crazy, but it’s the truth.”

  A look of confusion fell over Robin’s face like he didn’t know what I was talking about. “Oh,” he finally said. “You mean about the hotel being haunted?”

  “Robin, I’m serious. I never said the hotel was haunted. I said that I saw ghosts. They aren’t attached to the hotel. They’re attached to . . . me, I guess.”

  When Robin didn’t say anything, I continued. “They came to me for help. The girl I went to meet, she’s not exactly my friend. I wasn’t lying when I said she was from my town. It’s just that she’s six years old. Her sister and dad came to me asking me to help her because she was abducted.”

  I waited for Robin’s response. Yet again, he didn’t react how I expected him to. I was sure he would cut me off at some point and tell me I was crazy, but he didn’t. He simply narrowed his eyes in thought while I spoke. I gave him a few moments to digest this, and then his words cut through the silence.

  “Crystal, I can tell that you believe every word you’re saying.” His tone had a hint of something to it I couldn’t quite pinpoint.

  “What do you mean by that?” My voice came off sounding more offended and accusatory than I intended.

  He sighed and glanced at me. “I mean I can tell when you’re lying. Your eyebrow twitches every time you do.”

  My hand flew up to my face. “What? It does . . .” I trailed off. I couldn’t even try lying about that now. How did he know? Did Emma tell him?

  “I noticed,” he said, answering my unspoken question. It only made me blush at the realization of how much he’d been paying attention to me.

  “Well, then you should know I’m not lying about being psychic,” I insisted.

  “Like I said, I think you believe it. It’s not hard to lie about something you believe as truth. But how am I supposed to believe in something like that?”

  His words cut deep, but I still understood on some level where he was coming from
. Now, how do I convince him?

  “The car,” I blurted without really thinking about where I was going with this.

  Robin shot me a confused expression.

  “It wasn’t a random hit,” I explained. “I knew when it happened that it wasn’t. It was Lauren.”

  His blank expression reminded me that he didn’t yet know who Lauren was. I quickly told him everything I knew about the case before he could interrupt me. When I recounted the part about the car, even though he clearly knew this part, I finally told him about the note left in the passenger seat. I dug into my jeans pocket and pulled it out.

  “And how do I know you didn’t write that yourself?” he asked skeptically.

  I looked at him in disbelief for a few moments. “Robin, look at the handwriting. You’ve seen my handwriting. I write in chicken scratches. You know I can’t write this well.”

  He took a long look at the paper before turning his eyes back to the road. Then he glanced at me a few more times. “You are serious, aren’t you?”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s what I’ve been telling you this whole time!”

  “Well, that explains a lot, I guess.” He paused, and I could tell he had more to say, so I didn’t interrupt him despite the anticipation that was killing me. “Okay,” he said. “I believe you. But you know what that means?”

  “What?” I asked, a little afraid of the answer at the same time my heart flipped.

  “It means we’re going to have to find that little girl with or without Teddy’s help.”

  I beamed. Robin was on my side.

  21

  When we made it back to Wayne and Gail’s and entered the front door, everyone flooded us with questions.

  “Are you two okay?” my mom and Gail said at the same time.

  “How’s the car?” Teddy asked.

  “What exactly happened?” said Wayne.

  Robin and I both exchanged a glance because we didn’t know which question to answer first. After a moment of silence, Teddy stood from the couch and asked Robin to show him the car. Teddy stuck his hands in his pockets and remained surprisingly calm. He followed Robin outside, leaving me to answer everyone else’s questions. I quickly peeked out the front window. Teddy was assessing damages and running a finger along one of the scratches that the garage hadn’t buffed out.

  I answered everyone’s questions the best I could without revealing to Wayne and Gail why Robin and I were there in the first place. I assured them we were both alright, and eventually, they were satisfied with my answers.

  I stole another glance out the front window. Teddy had his arms folded across his chest and was leaning against the vehicle, staring seriously at Robin. I couldn’t tell what they were discussing, but I thought I saw a hint of a smile cross Robin’s face.

  I excused myself and exited to the back porch so I could put on some clean clothes. A quiet knock came at the door just as I was slipping on a fresh t-shirt. “Come in.”

  “Sweetie,” my mom said kindly, poking her head onto the enclosed porch. She slowly moved her way into the room and then closed the door behind her.

  I smiled to let her know I was fine, but I wasn’t sure the smile reached my eyes. “Yeah?”

  She reached out to me and pulled me close. It felt good to be in my mother’s arms. She was warm and familiar, and for a second, it felt like the events of the past few days hadn’t happened. Then she pulled away and broke the spell that made me forget about my troubles.

  “How’d it go?” she asked. Even though she never explicitly admitted to helping me out, I could tell by her tone that she was wondering about Hope.

  “Not well,” I admitted. “I learned a lot more about things, but she’s still missing.” And then I explained to my mom everything I knew so far. I excitedly told her that she was right about there being something more to my dream that I needed to pay attention to, but then my voice fell flat in disappointment when I recounted the rest of the story.

  We were seated side by side on the air mattress, which needed pumping up again, when she wrapped a single arm around me. “You’ll find her. I know you will.”

  I smiled at her encouragement. “I hope so. I just wish the answers came easier, you know?”

  “Just give it time. Be patient. I’m sure things will work out.”

  I wanted to believe her, but every step I took toward Hope seemed to push her further away from my grasp. I wanted Penny or Scott to show up again and to just give me all the answers, but I already knew it had been tough for them to show themselves to me in the first place. Maybe we could hold a séance. It had worked for us in the past, but the more I thought about it, the more I figured it probably wouldn’t work with just two people. I decided to take my mom’s advice and be patient. That’s what seemed to be working best for me lately.

  “Did anything else happen on your trip?” she asked.

  “No, not real—what?” I cut off.

  My mother raised her eyebrows and twisted her lips up.

  “What?” I asked again. Heat rose to my cheeks.

  “You think I can’t see what’s going on?” she asked. I could tell by the look she was giving me that she knew exactly what was going on, but how?

  “I thought you didn’t get feelings about your family members,” I pointed out.

  “Sweetie, this is not a psychic feeling. It’s a mother’s intuition. I saw the way you looked at him when you two came in the door.”

  I wasn’t about to lie to my mother. I didn’t even have a desire to lie. A smile formed across my face, and I could feel the blood rise in my cheeks. “I know it’s kind of weird with you and Teddy getting married and all, but I really like Robin.”

  “Did you two . . .” Her voice trailed off.

  It took me a few seconds to realize where she was going. I recoiled in shock. “What? No! Robin’s not like that,” I told her. “And neither am I,” I added. “It was just a kiss. Or two. But Mom, it was my first kiss!” My body shivered with excitement. I knew some girls wouldn’t be comfortable telling their mothers this, but my mom was different. She was like a best friend to me.

  She smiled back. “As long as you’re happy.”

  I returned her smile. “I am.”

  Silence stretched between us for a few long moments until I finally broke it. “You don’t think it’s weird, do you?”

  “Why would it be?”

  “Well, because after you and Teddy get married, we’ll kind of be cousins.”

  My mom laughed. “I guess so, but I think you two are mature enough to make your own decisions.”

  She quickly kissed me on the side of the head and left the room. I was sure she intended to leave at that moment to let the statement sink in. She always did that. I took a few seconds to really think about it, and I decided I was proud my mom thought I was mature.

  Robin entered the porch a few minutes later while I was pumping up the air mattress. “So, uh, everyone done freaking out?”

  I chuckled. A joke like one he would make in this situation danced on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t quite think of the right way to word it, so instead I just said, “Yeah. I seemed to convince them we were fine.” When he didn’t say anything, I spoke again. “So, how’d it go with Teddy? Was he really mad?”

  Robin stared at me seriously. “I think that if he wasn’t a cop, he probably would have murdered me on the front lawn.”

  My eyes widened. “He’s that mad?”

  Robin laughed, and my body relaxed. “Nah, I’m just kidding. He took it surprisingly well. I think he’s just glad we’re safe.”

  “Did he get mad about us taking the trip even though he didn’t know about it?”

  “We didn’t really talk much about that.”

  “Oh,” I said flatly. “What did you talk about?” I pushed down on the mattress to test its firmness and then turned off the air pump.

  Robin sat on the mattress and shrugged his shoulders casually. “You.”

  “What?
” I squeaked. I swallowed, returning my voice to normal. “Only good things, I imagine.”

  That sideways smile that made my heart flutter crept across Robin’s face. “I told him about what a terrible, horrible person you are.” His tone didn’t reflect his words, and he still had a smile fixed on his face when he slowly leaned in toward me.

  My heart thumped. Oh, my god. Was he coming in for a kiss? My brain could hardly process what was going on as a fire rose within my chest and spread out through my face and my extremities. Robin paused just inches from my face, his gaze seductively shifting between my lips and my eyes. I hardly noticed when my lower lip curled into my mouth and my teeth came to clamp down around it.

  “Food!” Gail shouted from the kitchen, pulling me out of my trance. Apparently Robin felt the same way because, like me, he instantly recoiled.

  I finally had a chance to catch my breath and realized what was just about to happen. Then Robin’s fingers grazed over mine and held onto them for a moment until he rose and walked out of the room. He looked back at me for a second before leaving. Something gleamed in his eyes, and he raised his brows a bit. I silently cursed at him when I realized he was teasing me the whole time. I wanted now more than ever to kiss him. Instead, I was forced to follow him out into the kitchen and try not to let the thought of him overcome me during our meal.

  The rest of the day I spent purposely getting my mind off Hope, waiting patiently for something to come to me. A part of me felt guilty for not worrying about her, but another part of me knew that I’d done all I could up to this point. Yet another part of me wanted to be consumed by thoughts of Robin. We didn’t get another chance alone since Mom, Gail, and I spent time chatting and playing cards while Robin, Teddy, and Wayne enjoyed their own guy talk in the living room.

  I fell asleep that night dreaming of Robin. In my dream, Emma and I were singing as part of his band. There was another girl there, too, someone who my mind told me I was friends with but, when I woke up, I was sure I’d never seen before. It was a comforting dream that made me feel like I could be a real part of Robin’s life.