On the Hooves of Horses

by Emma Taylor

  “A reflection of your own emotions.” He added.

  We sat in silence for a very long time. Both facing forward, neither of us feeling the need for words. I don’t know how long we had been sitting there before Reed arrived. He looked mad. His hair was blown back from his face and even from where I was sitting I could make out the deep burrows of his frown.

  “When I thought I would find you down here, I didn’t quite imagine it would be with him.” Reed hissed.

  “Reed, man.” Lucas got up to greet his friend.

  “Don’t man me, Lucas.”

  “What? Reed! It’s not what you think.” I stumbled to my feet.

  “Really, Jayde? Then what is it? Because I can tell you what it looks like.” He was fuming.

  “Dude, it’s fucking cold.” Lucas tried to inject some light humour into our very delicate situation.

  “Ah, Lucas, not helping.” I mumbled.

  “No, Lucas. You are not helping. You can’t even help yourself let alone help anyone else.” Reed spat.

  “What the fuck does that mean?” Lucas asked, now he was angry, too.

  “It means that we all know that you are in love with Grace and you are too much of a pussy to do anything about it. Even Grace knows you love her. Seriously, man, how long do you think she’s going to wait for you?”

  “You are not exactly the person of authority on Grace Howard. Remember you were the one who broke her heart.”

  “Stop it!” I yelled, jumping between the two of them. “What is this all about?”

  “It’s about you, it’s about me and now it’s fucking about him!”

  “Shut up, Reed! You don’t know what you are talking about. Lucas is my friend. He listens to me.”

  “I listen to you.”

  “He understands the same pain.”

  “Death is pain, Jayde, regardless of whether it was a natural death or a suicide.” Tears began to well in his eyes. How did things get to this point?

  “You’re a tosser, Reed. We’re just friends. If you can’t handle that, then that’s your problem. You’re not her keeper.”

  “Grow up, Lucas. I couldn’t care less if you are friends with her or not. My problem is I have seen you in action when it comes to women. If you can’t sort out your shit with Grace then you will latch onto the next available thing. I have seen it time and time again with you.”

  “Oh, I get it now, Jayde is my next available thing is she?”

  “Except she’s not available.” Reed said, taking a step closer to Lucas. Lucas’ piercing blue eyes penetrated Reed’s defensive stare.

  “Keep this up and maybe she just might be.”

  I’m not sure who threw the first punch. “Stop it,” I don’t even understand why they were fighting. “Stop, please!”

  Neither of them paid any notice of me. Rolling around on the cold, damp sand, throwing punches, grunting like animals. I sure as hell am not going to stick around to watch this. I stormed off.

  “Absolutely immature.” I mumbled as I walked up the beach track.

  “Looks like a little love triangle gone wrong from where I’m standing.” Andrea!

  “Why is that Andrea? Why are you here?” I spat.

  “This is my home town. Don’t think that you can waltz on in here and take over.” She said.

  “Whatever. I was delighted to hear that you moved away, not because I wanted to ‘take over’ your town, but so I would never have to see you again, because I really, really don’t like you.” I said pushing past her.

  “Not so fast, princess.” She said, grabbing my arm.

  “What do you think Grace would say about all of this?”

  “About what?”

  “Not a very good friend are you, Jayde. You know how she feels about Lucas, yet you two seem to have something going on down there.”

  My eyes widened incredulously.

  “You wouldn’t!” I stated, ripping my arm from her clutches.

  “Oh, I would,” she said nodding. “In fact, I will. You see, Jayde, I’m not someone you want on your bad side.”

  “Andrea…you are not someone I want on any side. I think you are a jealous and manipulative person. I don’t like you, I never will. Deep down, you are just a scared and insecure little bully.” I started to walk away.

  “At least I will still have Grace’s friendship.”

  “Go. Go on. Tell her. She will work you out in due time. And who do you think she will come back to?” I said smugly. Andrea launched herself at me. I fell backwards, plummeting to the sand, with Andrea landing on top of me. I tried to defend myself as best as I could, but she had my left arm pinned between her body and mine. I closed my eyes and tried to transport my mind somewhere else, anywhere else, but the pain from the crack in my eye socket brought me back to here. Here to this cold, Tasmanian Winters day when all I should have done was stay in bed underneath the doona, listening to myself breathe, listening to the noises around the house. Listening to the creak in the fifth step.

  Rose wasn’t at home when I reached Reed’s house. I’m glad, too. I didn’t feel the need to explain. I wasn’t even sure I could explain. It was never meant to turn out like this. Two of the people I love the most were fighting each other and I have just been in a fight, my first ever, hopefully my last. Judging by the feel of my body, I lost big time. I could see in the reflection of Reed’s window that my eye was already starting to colour. I sat on his door step with my head between my knees. How did the day unfold to this? I thought I woke today with some type of clarity about my situation. I wasn’t sitting there too long before I heard two male voices, laughing. Laughing? You can’t be serious?!

  “Jayde?” Reed said, running over to me. “What on earth? What happened to your eye?”

  “Wholly crap, Queensland, you got a shiner.” Lucas added.

  “Um, excuse me? Don’t you two owe me an explanation?” I asked with angered bewilderment.

  “Ah, that’s my cue. I’ll catch you guys later.” Lucas said trying to scurry away. “Not so fast, Lucas. I have this because of you. Andrea thinks we are having an affair. Apparently that’s the order of the day.” I said, shooting a look at Reed.

  “Tell me you are on your way to do something once and for all about Grace-”

  He cut me off. “On my way,” he said, winking at Reed. “Good luck bro.”

  “What the? You guys are mental!” I screamed.

  “Hey, it’s ok. We’re guys. Shit like this happens all the time.” Reed said, easing me back down to his step.

  “No Reed. You can’t do stuff like that. What is wrong with everybody?” I sobbed. I felt his arm go to my shoulder, gently rubbing it. Ouch. Guess my eye is not the only collateral damage.

  “Let’s go inside. I’ll put some ice on that eye.”

  “And shoulder,” I added. “And hip.” If I didn’t hurt so much, I would probably laugh right now. Or cry. Or both.

  “What happened, Reed?” I asked after resting for a bit. We sat on his couch, drinking hot chocolate.

  “With Lucas?” He asked.

  “No. I mean what happened with us?”

  “I love you. I need to have you in my life, Jayde,” He stopped. I waited. “Do you know the definition of heartbreak?” He asked, not waiting for a reply. “It’s when you know what you want and every time you get close, it just slips away. Always just out of reach.”

  “But I’m here.” I protested.

  “But you’re not, not completely here, Jayde. Your mind is focused elsewhere.” I knew what he meant. I felt sad. “I’m sorry.” I croaked.

  “No, no. I don’t want you to be sorry, I just want things to progress. I’m ready to start my life with you. I am crazy about you and can’t stand not having you around. Jayde, you are perfect for me. Please give me the chance to be perfect for you.” He pleaded.

  “You and me?” I summoned through tears.

  “100%?” He asked.

  “100%.” I confirmed.

  FOURTEEN
>
  Reed drove me home in the morning. “Did you want to come in before you go to work? I missed out on banana pancakes yesterday, but I’m sure I could convince Mum to cook some today.” Panic began to creep over Reed’s face. “No, that’s ok. Listen, do you think you could just meet me at my place tonight?”

  “Sure. Is everything alright?”

  “I couldn’t be happier with us right now, but I don’t particularly want to be around your mum. It sounds odd but I think she tried to hit on me. She makes me uncomfortable.”

  “What? Are you sure? I know she likes you, but not in that way, surely.”

  “Maybe…it’s just a bit disturbing. I prefer it when it’s just us, anyway.”

  “Well, you know you’re going to have to face my pares at some stage. I’m not going to tell them that we are moving in together all by myself. I’m going to need moral support!” I laughed. Reed’s eyes diverted to the front door.

  “I’ll see you tonight.” He said in a hurry. Then he was gone.

  “Hi Mum.” I said, trying to cover my eyes with my hair. For once in my life I am grateful for red wavy hair!

  “Lover’s tiff? Reed left in quite a hurry.”

  “Yeah, busy I guess.” I shrugged off her suggestion. Not a time for confrontation. I should confront her about what Reed said though, but I think he might be over reacting anyway. Besides, I don’t want to have to explain the bruised eye. I headed straight for my room, stopping in my tracks on the fifth step. I turned going back down to the landing and approached the half door that led to the compartment under the stairs. My hand trembled a little as I reached for the handle. Breakfast. Must eat breakfast. Turning the knob, I took my first step inside. I fumbled around for the light switch, turning it on, there was a flash of bright light, right under the stairs. I squinted, trying to refocus my eyes. I huddled over to the bottom of the stairs, finding a few shelves with bits and pieces. Mum’s tennis racket, extension leads, nothing of importance. There were some boxes pushed up in the corner. They were labeled ‘H’. All of them had an ‘H’ initialed somewhere. “Haylie’s stuff.” I whispered.

  Her stuff was placed under the stairs with objects that held no major importance. Why? She was important. She is important. I had wondered what mum and dad had done with her belongings, her personal things. I never garnered the courage to ask in case they had gotten rid of them. How would I have dealt with that? But here they all were. Six boxes marked with an ‘H’ was all that was left of Haylie’s life. I felt deflated. How can one’s life fit into six cardboard boxes? They weren’t even big boxes. What makes matters worse, is one of those average sized cardboard squares was empty. Empty.

  * * *

  I was curled on Reed’s white leather couch, watching the nightly news when I heard his enormous front door open. I saw his dazzling smile before anything else. He was happy to see me. “Hi ya gorgeous.”

  As promised, I met him at his, soon to be our place, instead of him coming over to my parent’s house. It actually worked out well. I avoided both of my parents today as much as possible. I didn’t want to explain the black eye. I’m sure they wouldn’t let me out of their sight. That was bad enough after Haylie died. They were so worried they would lose me, too. However, Grace assured me that I won’t see Andrea again. She had only returned to collect a few more of her things before returning back to Strahan. So as far as I’m concerned, Andrea is a non-issue, but having to explain that to my sometimes over-protective parents was not something that I wanted to do.

  “I have dinner on,” I smiled. “Good ’ol wifey that I am.”

  “I picked a winner with you.” Reed said, kissing me on the cheek.

  “Don’t speak too soon, you haven’t tasted it yet!” I laughed.

  “Hey, you know when you fixed the stairs at our house?” I began. He nodded in acknowledgement. “Why did it creak?”

  “Oh, it just needed a few nails tapped in. The paling had come loose. Nothing major. Why do you ask?”

  “Well, it’s back. That God awful creaky sound. I had a look today and I found a whole heap of boxes under there.” I tried to sound nonchalant.

  “Yeah, there were a few old boxes of stuff in the way,” he shuffled on his feet slightly.

  “Your mum said it was just a few things that didn’t really have a place, yet.”

  “There was an empty one.” I put out there. Reed began to squirm. Avoiding eye contact, he walked over to the casserole dish and lifted the lid. “Wow, dinner smells awesome. When will it be ready?”

  “Look at me,” I demanded. “Reed.”

  He turned slowly. “Man, you’re worse than Rose.”

  “Huh?”

  “Damn it, Jayde. Do you have to know all of your surprises?” He laughed. “It’s bad enough having one intuitive around, now there’s two.” He threw his arms up in defeat.

  “You think I’m intuitive?” I asked bewildered.

  “Babe, almost every surprise I have planned for you, you have managed to worm it out of me. You’re insane, or maybe I’m insane for continuing to try and surprise you.” He chuckled to himself. He walked back over to me. “There was a heap of photo reels in the box. There was so many there, I didn’t suspect you would miss them quickly. I wanted to surprise you by developing them and putting them all together for you. Your Mum said she would help…” He went quiet.

  “Anyway, I’ve been so busy lately with that museum job and now with Uncle Ross away, I haven’t had the time to develop them all, only a few reels so far. You almost stumbled on them the other night, before the party. I guess, looking back now, it wouldn’t have made much difference because you figured it out anyway.” He said, slapping me playfully on the bottom. Ah, the photos in the blue room. Penny just dropped.

  “They’re Haylie’s photos.” I said simply. Reed looked up at me, expressionless.

  “Sebastian was a bit of a photographer, too. Very snap happy, just a hobby, but he was good. I bet most of them are of Haylie.” I said quietly.

  “Would you like me to leave them for you?” He asked, resting his hand on my leg. Wow, the prospect of having dozens of photos of Haylie that I have never seen excites me in anticipation.

  “No. Please, I would really like you to finish it off for me Reed. It would mean the world to me. Just one thing though?”

  “What’s that, babe?”

  “Can you not do it with Mum? You said she was going to help you with the photos. I would rather have this for me.” Reed breathed a sigh of relief. “Sure, no worries there. Like I told you before, your mum is really unnerving to be around.”

  “You don’t think you’re over reacting?” I suggested.

  “No.”

  “Perhaps it was an accident?”

  “Again, no. I’m pretty certain that her hand going up the top of my inner thigh was not an accident.”

  I frowned at that mental image. That’s just weird. Why would mum do that? It doesn’t make any sense. No, he’s wrong. I reckon he is just over analysing.

  We moved over to the couch, TV on low and the fires light dancing. Reed nuzzled his nose into my hair, pushing away my hair to reveal my ear. “I love you.” He whispered over and over again. My heart still skipped a beat and my cheeks still flushed. I wrapped my legs around his, my feet slowly moving up and down. Our bodies intertwined like leaves on a vine. Explosions of excitement ran threw my body at a hundred miles an hour It felt so right being here with him. This is my place. This is where I’m meant to be. “Reed, I love you more than you will ever know. Thank you for coming into my life.”

  “You came into my life.”

  I smiled. “You asked for me, though.”

  “With all my heart baby girl.”

  * * *

  “What are your plans for today?” Reed asked over coffee and eggs on Tuesday morning.

  “Things have certainly begun well…” I said mischievously, recalling my wake up call from a very amorous Reed.

  “Well? I would say it has been the
best start to the day.” He smirked.

  “The best,” I repeated. “Grace rang earlier. I think she has some good news, so I’ll probably catch up with her.”

  “Yeah, really? He finally did it then?”

  “I thought something was up the other day when she rang, but she was too apologetic about Andrea to even get to the Lucas story. Bet she is dying to tell me though.”

  “Are you still going to try and avoid your parents seeing the black eye?”

  “Yeah, it still looks bad, hey? I’ll just ring them, tell them I’m busy.”

  “We really should have gotten a cold pack to it quicker. It’s pretty bruised. Is it sore still?”

  “Tender, but not sore. I’ll be alright.”

  “Sure you will. But if you plan to hide out at my place until it goes away, just don’t go into the blue room. Ok?”

  I smiled. The photos of Haylie. “Done deal.”

  “Sealed with a kiss.” He said, leaning in.

  “A kiss, Reed. You’ll be late for work.” I said pushing him back.

  “A very good reason to be late for work.” He tried again.

  “Not a good example to set for the employees.” I added.

  “But I am the boss.”

  “Exactly,” I said, pushing him all the way to the front door. “Have a good day. I’ll see you tonight.” I said, closing the door behind him. The enormous and heavy front door.

  “Oh, damn it.” I said. The bracelet Reed bought me got caught in the latch of the door. As soon as I opened the door, I knew immediately that I had crushed the Pandora locket. The key inside the heart-shaped box fell to the tiled floor.

  “The key of hope,” I mused. “Oh no.” I gasped. “The lid’s been opened on Pandora’s box.”

  “Not yet dear, but it will.” Rose said, pushing her way through Reed’s front door.

  “Rose?”

  “Morning sunshine. I’m heading into town tomorrow, just wondering if you needed anything?”

  “Ah, Rose, what did you say when you came in about Pandora’s box?”

  “Just a thought. Didn’t you have something to collect?”

  “Yes! Actually yes, I do. My sister’s jacket.”