Crossing the Ice

by Jennifer Comeaux

  Who could be visiting this late at night?

  After setting the cake on the coffee table, I went to the big front window to peek through the blinds. I jumped back at the sight of Josh’s car parked along the curb.

  What is he doing here????

  I looked down at my T-shirt and fleece Minnie Mouse pants. I wasn’t even wearing a bra. My attire wasn’t suitable for any visitors much less Josh.

  Did it matter, though? If he was messing with me, I shouldn’t care what I looked like in front of him.

  I marched to the door and swung it open. Seeing Josh’s handsome face made my stomach do its familiar flip-flop, and I gripped the doorknob tighter.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, not hiding my brusqueness.

  His eyes darted over me and settled tentatively on mine. “I um… I wanted to give Em—”

  The house phone trilled, and I looked behind me. “I need to get that.”

  I hurried to the kitchen and picked up the cordless phone. “Hello?”

  “Courtney? Hi, is Em around?”

  Em’s mom didn’t identify herself, but I always recognized her loud voice anyway.

  “She and Sergei are out on their date night.”

  “Oh, okay. Do you know if they have any plans tomorrow? Mr. Jim and I might drive down in the afternoon.”

  Josh had closed the front door and had moved slowly from the foyer into the living room. He stood watching the TV, and I noticed he was holding a CD.

  “Um… Liza’s coming tomorrow to stay for a few days because she’s off from school. I don’t know of anything else going on, but you’ll have to check with Em.”

  “I’ll call her tomorrow after church. Take care, Sweetie.”

  I ended the call and put the phone on the granite bar that divided the kitchen and living room. Turning to Josh, I said, “You have something for Em?”

  “I just wanted to give her the CD for the Christmas show.”

  My forehead wrinkled. “It couldn’t wait until Monday?”

  “Well, I… I was out so I thought I’d stop by since I had it in my car.”

  He held out the disc, and I took it from him. His explanation sounded flimsy at best. Was this another part of his plan — to continue to be in my face so I wouldn’t stop thinking about him?

  “I’ll give it to Em.”

  I turned back to the bar and placed the CD on it, and I pretended to examine a piece of mail. It hurt too much to look at Josh, and my chest grew tighter every second he was around. A storm of questions brewed inside me and threatened to rain all over him at any moment.

  “Court—”

  I spun and faced him. “Do you get some twisted pleasure out of rejecting me?”

  He stared at me, his eyes wide. “What?”

  “Eight years ago you had the chance to kiss me and you didn’t, and last night you had an even better chance and you walked away again. Do you enjoy rejecting me?”

  “No,” he said firmly. “I’ve… that’s not…”

  He took a few steps toward me, his eyes never leaving mine. “The time we first met, I tried all night to get up the nerve to talk to you, but I didn’t know what to say. You were… you were so pretty and you didn’t try to act older like the other girls. And then you picked my name out of the hat, and… I’d never kissed anyone before, so I was afraid I wasn’t going to do it right and you’d think I was a total loser. That’s why… that’s why I bailed.”

  A large part of my anger melted as I reflected on the words I’d wanted to hear all those years ago. He had liked me, braces and frizzy hair and all. The thirteen-year-old in me squealed. But that didn’t explain why he’d backed off in the present day.

  “What about last night? I know you’ve kissed a girl now.” I paused as a remote possibility came to me. “You have kissed a girl?”

  “Yeah… yes,” he quickly stammered. “I have, but…”

  He moved closer to me, and my pulse raced at the nearness of him. His clear blue eyes searched deep into mine.

  “There’s never been anyone I wanted to kiss more than you.”

  The rest of me melted, and the warmth inside me grew hotter. Josh inched forward so there was no space between us, and he slowly lifted his hand to my cheek. His thumb brushed under my chin and along my jaw so lightly, but I could feel his touch everywhere.

  “I’ve dreamt about this for so long,” he said, barely above a whisper. “I just wanted it to be perfect.”

  My mouth had never felt so dry. I swallowed and licked my lips, and Josh’s eyes went to them. When they looked up, I saw the same desire I’d seen the past night. But none of the hesitation.

  His lips touched mine, gentle yet firm, and I wound my arms around his shoulders so our bodies pressed together. He kissed me soft and slow, and I could feel how much he’d longed for this in the way he savored every stroke of my mouth.

  He backed me up against the bar and lifted his head as he set his hands on my hips. With one quick motion he picked me up and sat me on the edge. I clung to him, and he eased between my knees, his eyes not breaking their hold for a second.

  One of my slippers fell to the floor, and I curled my legs around Josh’s waist, just as I’d fantasized doing in the swimming pool. His body felt so tight. His mouth returned to mine, and his tongue slipped between my lips, setting off a breathless moan in my throat.

  I am making out with Josh.

  The boy I’d wanted to be my first kiss was now giving me the most amazing kiss of my life. And it was so worth waiting eight years for.

  I buried my fingers in his hair, while his hands slid under my shirt. The heat from his touch burned through me, and I kissed him harder. His fingertips skimmed over my ribcage, tickling my skin, as they moved closer to—

  “Coco?”

  I broke away from Josh’s lips and saw Quinn and Alex hand-in-hand at the foot of the stairs staring at us. Josh pulled back and rubbed his face as he scooted around the bar. I jumped down and straightened my shirt.

  “Hi, Josh,” Quinn said.

  “Hey, Quinn.” Josh sounded strangled as he gave her a feeble wave.

  “Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?” she asked.

  “Wha… what?” I stammered.

  “Only boyfriends and girlfriends s’posed to kiss.”

  Oh dear God. They’ve really seen it all tonight. Witches, tornadoes, Josh’s tongue down my throat…

  I figured I could ignore her question as I did with many of her others. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

  “We see da witch when we sleep,” Alex said.

  I put my hand on my forehead. Why had I shown them that damn movie? If I hadn’t, they’d still be tucked away in their beds, and I’d be at second base with Josh.

  “Why don’t you go back upstairs and I’ll be up in a few minutes to read to you. That might help you sleep better.”

  “We wanna stay with you,” Quinn said with a little cry in her voice.

  I glanced at Josh with a pained look, and he gave me a sympathetic smile. I shoved my foot into my lost slipper and herded the twins toward the couch.

  “I’m gonna walk Josh out,” I said while bundling them under a fleece blanket. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Hurry,” Quinn said.

  Josh followed me to the door, and I left it half open as we stepped out onto the porch. The cool, crisp night made me shiver, and Josh cuddled me against him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and immediately felt warmer from his soft sweater and his body heat. I wanted to pick up where we’d left off so badly…

  “Can I see you tomorrow?” he asked quietly.

  With his strong hands caressing my back, I couldn’t form a coherent thought much less speak. I nodded, and he kissed me. And then again… and again until Quinn shouted my name.

  “I’ll text you,” Josh said as he reluctantly released me.

  He walked backward across the lawn, watching me the entire way, and his butt hit the mailbox. He grunted and stumbled, and I cover
ed my mouth as I laughed.

  “Are you okay?” I called out.

  He smiled and gave me a thumbs-up. As he drove away I went inside and stopped in the foyer to take a deep breath.

  Things just got a lot more complicated.

  “Coco!” Quinn yelled again.

  I moved slowly into the living room and sat beside her. “Let’s go upstairs, and I’ll read to you and lay with you.”

  “You sleep all night with us?” Alex asked, his big blue eyes full of hope.

  “I sure can.”

  Both he and Quinn squealed with delight. There was no way I could sleep anyway. Having the twins with me would be no different than being alone, wide-awake and reliving every single moment of what had just happened.

  “Is Josh your boyfriend?” Quinn asked.

  Damn, she was nothing if not persistent. I had no idea what was going to come of tonight, but I couldn’t have Quinn and Alex blabbing to Em and Sergei before Josh and I figured things out.

  “We like each other very much, but we don’t want anyone to know yet, so you can’t tell anyone you saw us kissing. It’ll be our special secret.”

  “Mommy say no secrets.”

  Well, I’d already exposed them to enough questionable things that night. So what if I corrupted them a little more? Of course, I might be sleeping on the street if Em discovered my stellar baby-sitting skills.

  “This is different because it’s just a temporary secret,” I said.

  “So we no tell Mommy and Daddy?” Quinn asked.

  “No, especially not Mommy and Daddy.” I pushed the blanket aside and reached for their hands. “Now let’s see if we can get some sleep.”

  I grabbed my phone from the coffee table and noticed the cake still sitting there. After I returned it to the refrigerator, I picked up a couple of books from the library and led the twins to my room. The kids scrambled to get cozy under the comforter, and I slid in next to them as their giggling subsided.

  They fell asleep during the second story I read, and my phone blinked just as I set the book on the nightstand. I smiled and picked it up.

  Josh: Is it tomorrow yet?

  I rested my head against the pillow and reread the short text over and over. Josh had said he’d dreamt of kissing me for a long time. How long? Since we were kids? Had I really been on his mind all those years?

  I was all aflutter just thinking about seeing him again, but then a wave of fear washed over me. This was real now. Josh and I were real. No more secret feelings, no more safely watching from afar. It was all out in the open.

  So what now?

  Chapter Twelve

  The midday sunshine spilled through the big bay window and bathed the library with light. With the scent of Em’s marinara sauce cooking in the kitchen and Quinn beside me rifling through crayons, it felt like a normal Sunday. Except it wasn’t. I’d been an emotional mess all morning, especially after Josh had texted me, asking if I could meet him that evening at the beach.

  “I make her dress blue!” Quinn rambled to herself as she pressed the blue crayon to her coloring book.

  I looked at my phone and the last message Josh had sent me after we’d finalized our plans.

  Josh: I can’t wait to see you.

  I sank further into the leather couch and held the phone to my chest. I couldn’t wait to see him too, but I was also terrified. I’d slept only a few restless hours as I’d agonized over all the things standing in the way of Josh and me being together. I’d never realistically thought anything would happen between us, so I hadn’t prepared myself for this scenario.

  “You wanna be blue?” Quinn swiped the crayon on the stuffed animal next to her.

  “Don’t write on Alex’s monkey,” I said.

  She giggled. “Monkey say ‘What da heck!’”

  I just shook my head. In the hallway, the sound of luggage rolling on the wood floor grew louder, and Liza appeared in the doorway with her bags.

  “Sissy!” Quinn clambered down from the couch and ran to her.

  Liza dropped her bags and swallowed Quinn in a hug. “You’re getting so big! You’re going to be as tall as me soon.”

  “Wouldn’t take much, Shorty,” I said.

  She stuck her tongue out at me. “So, what’s been going on around here?”

  Oh, nothing. Just earth-shattering developments I can’t discuss.

  “Not much,” I said.

  “How’s Josh?” She grinned.

  “Coco kiss Josh,” Quinn announced.

  I shot up into a sitting position. “Quinn!”

  “What!” Liza hopped over the arm of the sofa and sat facing me. “When did this happen?”

  “Quinn, remember this was our special secret?” I lowered my voice. “You’re not supposed to tell anyone.”

  “You say no tell Mommy and Daddy. You no say no tell Sissy.”

  I rubbed my temples. Had I really thought a three-year-old could be trusted to keep quiet?

  “I need to hear every single detail,” Liza said. “This is so awesome.”

  I glanced at Quinn, who’d returned to coloring her fairy princess. I’d already done and said enough in front of her.

  “Let me help you bring your stuff upstairs.” I stood and picked up Liza’s flowered duffel.

  She quickly followed me with her small rolling bag, and I shut the door to her bedroom behind us.

  “This can’t leave this room,” I said.

  “I’m not the one you need to worry about. You have Motor Mouth down there ready to spill to everyone.” She laughed. “How did she find out?”

  I dropped onto the bed. “She and Alex were supposed to be sleeping, but they snuck up on us.”

  “Oh no!” She laughed louder. “I’m sorry. I know it probably wasn’t funny for you, but it’s kinda hilarious.”

  I felt a smile creep across my lips. “The shock on their faces was pretty funny. I don’t think they’ve ever witnessed Em and Sergei kissing like that.”

  “Oh my God, so you guys were like making out? Tell me everything! Did he kiss you first? Is he a good kisser? Was there tongue?”

  “Whoa, simmer down, girlie. He did make the first move. That’s all the details you’re getting.”

  “Aww, come on! I’m dying here. You know I’ve never kissed a boy, so I have to live vicariously through you.”

  Her big blue eyes pleaded with me, and I knew how she felt because I’d been her once. All my friends had gotten their first kiss before I had.

  “I’ll just say that Josh might be shy, but he knows how to make a girl melt,” I said wistfully.

  Liza sighed. “He is so hot. I don’t know what I’d do if a boy like him kissed me.”

  I picked up her stuffed teddy bear and petted its fluffy fur. “If only this boy wasn’t all wrong for me.”

  “Why? You don’t think you could handle dating him and competing against him?”

  “I don’t think Stephanie and Mark could handle it.”

  “Then don’t tell them.”

  “It’s not that simple.” I set down the bear and paced across the plush carpet. “What happens when Josh moves back to L.A.? Law school is so time-consuming, and I’ll be starting BC hopefully. We’d never see each other. And his family would all hate me anyway. He said his mom is a carbon copy of Stephanie.”

  Liza grimaced with terror. “Maybe his dad’s nice. He has to get his sweetness from somewhere.”

  “I don’t know. His dad sounds tough. He has really high expectations for Josh, and I’m sure they don’t include dating a middle-class girl who works as a bartender.”

  “What does Josh think about you guys dating?”

  “We haven’t talked yet. I’m meeting him at the beach later.”

  Liza sighed again. “That sounds so romantic.”

  I collapsed on the bed and held my head in my hands. “I know, and it’s going to be so hard to tell him this can’t go anywhere.”

  “Are you sure it can’t? Romeo and Juliet found a way to
be together.”

  “And they both ended up dead.”

  “Well, just stay away from poison and daggers.”

  I peeked up at her. “Thanks for the helpful advice.”

  A knock sounded on the door, and Sergei called out, “Lunch is ready.”

  I slowly trailed Liza downstairs. I normally flew to the table for Em’s delicious Sunday lunches, but my stomach was twisted every which way. I knew what I had to tell Josh when I saw him, but I didn’t know if I’d have the willpower once he was physically in front of me.

  Especially if he kissed me again.

  ****

  When I pulled into the parking lot at Kalmus Beach, I spotted Josh’s car right away since it was one of only two cars there. I listened to the blaring music from my radio and took a couple of deep breaths to psych myself up before I shut off the engine and climbed out. The breeze off the water cooled my bare legs under my denim skirt, and I tightened the belt of my sweater. Slipping off my flip-flops, I moved from the roughness of the pavement to the softness of the sand.

  Josh stood in the middle of the empty beach, spreading a blanket over the sand. His back was to me, so I stopped and watched him, my heart aching. The wind ruffled his dark hair, and I remembered my fingers knotted there as he’d pressed his lips to mine. It would be so easy to walk up to him right now and reenact that scene.

  I folded my arms and curled my toes into the sand as if to anchor myself. Josh turned and saw me, and he broke into the brightest smile I’d ever seen. Inside I crumbled into a thousand pieces.

  I walked toward him, resisting the urge to run, and he came forward tentatively. Before I could say anything, he enveloped me in a hug, one arm around my shoulders, the other snug around my waist. My body defied my mind and sank into him. When his lips brushed against my hair, my breath caught in my throat and I pulled away.

  “Hi,” I said quietly, looking anywhere but in his eyes.

  “Hey,” he replied just as low.

  I noticed the red takeout bag next to the blanket and recognized it immediately. “You went to the restaurant?”

  “Yeah, I hope you haven’t eaten yet. I got Chef to make your special veggie sandwich.”