Hold On, Pain Ends

by Shyla Colt

  “Mom seems all prim and proper, but once you piss her off, all bets are out the window. Man, remember that time Carilyn snuck out and Mom went looking for her in her robe, rollers, and house shoes?” Birdie asked.

  “How could I forget? We didn’t live that down for months,” Ardy said with a sigh.

  “True, but none of us dared sneak out after that, either.”

  “I know, it’s why Mom is an evil genius I plan to imitate,” Ardy stated with a raised brow.

  The door pushed open, then Harley and Ara entered.

  “Speak of the devils,” Birdie said.

  Harley hugged Ardy around the legs and peered around at Birdie shyly. “Hi Aunt, Birdie.”

  “Hi sweetheart,” Birdie said with a smile. “And hello to you, little one.” She smiled down at the girl who was the perfect blend of her sister and Demon.

  Ara smiled up at her. Her dark brown eyes sparkled, and thick black spirals fell around her heart-shaped face. She stuck her fingers into her mouth.

  “Fingers out of your mouth, big girl,” Ardy chided, gently removing the gummy digits.

  Birdie felt a twinge of envy. Ardy had found her place in the world. She was at home here with her family and possessed and grace that only came with confidence and the discovery of who you were. She wanted that.

  “Okay guys, let’s leave so Aunt Birdie can get dressed for her lunch.”

  Birdie rolled her eyes at her sister’s tone and took her clothing into the bathroom. Clue would be here soon and she wanted to be ready to escape out of the door before Ardy grilled him. She could be fierce when she felt it was warranted.

  Thirty minutes later, she opened the door and smiled. “Hey.”

  “Hi, Birdie,” he smirked. “Nice shirt.”

  “Thanks, it’s one of my favorites,” she replied instantly at ease. He had a laid back vibe she found contagious.

  “Are you ready to go?” he asked, hovering in the doorframe.

  “Ah-Ah-ah, not so fast,” Ardy said appearing behind her with Ara on her hip and Harley at her side. Rocket had gone over to his friend’s house to play earlier, so it was an estrogen fest.

  “Demon already read me the riot act earlier today, so that you know,” Clue said.

  “Yeah?” Ardy asked beaming.

  “Bloodthirsty man,” Clue replied shaking his head. “Yes, he did.”

  “Well then, I’ll just add I’m twice as crazy when it comes to my sister, and I’m from North Carolina, so you’d best believe I can wield a gun.”

  Clue’s eyes bulged.

  Birdie prayed for the Lord to steal Ardy’s voice.

  “Treat her well and we won’t have any problems.”

  “Of course,” Clue said. His lips quirked.

  Birdie knew he was holding back laughter. “Standing right here,” she said, pointing to herself.

  “I’m good now, have fun to two,” Ardy suggested with a wink.

  Birdie rolled her eyes. “Let’s go before she says or does something else embarrassing.” She stepped outside.

  Clue laughed. “So, that’s what it’s like to have a sibling?”

  “Times three. I have two more of those suckers at home.”

  “I always thought being an only child was boring. But I had the kids of the brothers who were like extended family to fill the void. Have you ever ridden on the back of a bike before?” he asked as they stopped beside his black and chrome beast.

  Her stomach flipped. “No.”

  “It’s easy, let me show you. Your legs go here on the foot peg. You lean in with me to the curves and hold on tight,” Clue instructed as he climbed on and offered his hand.

  “You make it sound so easy.” She took his hand and energy arched between them. Her eyes widened. Her heart sped in her chest. She placed her foot on the peg and swung her leg over. She sank onto the seat behind him and found her body pressed against his. Her face burned.

  “Good, now wrap your arms around my waist,” Clue urged.

  She gingerly looped her arm around his waist, fighting to keep her large breasts from mashing into his back.

  “Hold me tighter. I don’t want you to fly off. Your sister will kill me. Then Demon will revive me and kill me again.”

  Birdie laughed. The humor broke the ice, and she gripped harder.

  “Much better.” He squeezed her hands.

  Electricity ran up her spine. What’s so different about this man? The bike roared to life, and she did her best not to squirm as the vibrations made their way through her body. He smelled like leather and man. His heat poured off him and into her. He pulled out of the driveway. The wind caught her ponytail and tugged at her clothing. As the fear receded, her appreciation grew. The world whizzed by, a mosaic of colors.

  The sun kissed her skin, and her body ramped up. Her nipples protruded from her bra, and her center grew damp. There was an erotic aspect to being on the back of the rumbling, growling, pulsing machine. She bit the inside of her cheek and prayed they wouldn’t be on the road for much longer. It’s like one giant vibrator. She buried her face into his cut and closed her eyes. I’m starting to see the appeal that kept Ardy here.

  They pulled up in front of a small café, and she thanked the Lord for the intervention. Orgasm wasn’t something she wanted to do in public.

  They climbed off, and he gripped her forearms steadying her. “You okay?” Clue asked.

  “Yeah, that was intense,” she replied almost breathlessly.

  He grinned and nodded. “Even when you get used to it, the connection between you and the road remains.”

  “I can see why you’d want to be on a bike now. I never got it before,” she said.

  “This is a great brunch spot. I hope you’re a breakfast, person.”

  “I’m a food person period,” she stated.

  “Thank God. I’d feel awkward stuffing my face while you picked at fruit or something.” Clue grinned at her.

  “You never have to worry about that with me,” Birdie said. Step one, embrace yourself and never pretend.

  A year ago, she would’ve been the girl ordering toast, a half of a grapefruit and water with lemon because she knew it would please Adrian. It’s amazing how stupid a person can be when they think they’re in love.

  They walked inside the quaint mom and pop and took a corner booth in the back. The crowd was thin, and they were quickly taken care of by a plucky older waitress named Vicky.

  Settled with their food, she began the conversation. “What exactly did you want to talk about?” she asked cautiously, as she tried to gauge where his head was. She was in no way a counselor, but she knew about grief, and how to help family members accept the inevitable, then began to embrace the things they could control, and later move forward.

  “I…” He pushed around the half-eaten pancakes and shrugs. “…I don’t even know where to start. Last night, I felt this connection between us. You get where I’m coming from. Most can’t even fathom what a day in my life is like.”

  “It can be hard trying to relate. It’s a tough situation that forces you to make hard choices and contemplate things people don’t normally confront so young,” she said sympathetically.

  “How do you do this?” he blurted out.

  “What do you mean?”

  “How do you voluntarily sign up to be around so much suffering and death?” His face twisted into a mask of anger and frustration.

  “I don’t see it that way. I’m their last leg of support before they transition into the final stage of their life. It’s an honor. I try to provide, happiness, companionship, and comfort—”

  He looked stunned. “Happiness? How is that possible if they’re dying?”

  She took a sip of her water. “By the time they reach me, most have accepted their fate. What they want to focus on is the quality of life, and living each day to the fullest. It becomes about the small details you can control.”

  “How’s that not giving up?” he demanded.

  The desperat
ion in his voice pained her. “Because they’re making a conscious decision. Fighting is exhausting, and if you know, you won’t win…” She shrugged. “…It doesn’t seem worth it. Some of these people have been in excruciating pain for so long; the alternative is better.”

  “Death? How is that ever better?” He sneered.

  She didn’t take his response personally. It was the situation he was reacting to. She reached across the table and covered his hand with hers. Ignoring the tingles he created, she met his blue-green gaze. “You’re angry. I understand that, but put yourself in your mother’s shoes. What would you do if you could no longer ride? I don’t mean for a little while. I mean for the rest of your life, and you were dependent upon others to do nearly everything thing for you? It’d be impossible to live a normal life when you’re fatigued from the moment you wake up until you fall sleep at night. With the loss of independence and mobility, people tend to feel their purpose for living follows. The meds make them sick, they’ve lost their hair, and so much weight, when they look in the mirror, they don’t even recognize the person peering back at them. They’ve stopped being a person, because the disease has completely taken over every aspect of their life.”

  His eyes glossed over, and she knew she’d reached him.

  “I’d still want to stay and fight for those who are still here,” he countered through gritted teeth.

  She tilted her head. “I think until we’re faced with the situation, we can’t be sure how we’d respond. How long has she been ill?”

  “Two years. But when she found out she had breast cancer, she was diagnosed with stage four. They started Chemo immediately, and when she was in remission, they took her breasts. But it still came back.” His voice wavered.

  I should not be getting involved with this. She was still battered and bruised from her battles. How could she be the person he needed? “I’m sorry, Nigel.”

  He blinked and focused on her. “You’re the only person besides her who calls me that.”

  “It felt right at the moment. I can sto—”

  “No, don’t.” He cleared his throat. “Here I am unloading all my bullshit on you. I’m sorry. I know you said you came here to have downtime.”

  “No, I want to. You—I have information you need. I’m okay sharing it with you. If you need to vent, talk, or just … be around someone who understands, I’m here.”

  “Why? What will you get out of it?” he asked.

  She blinked, taken back by the comment. “Umm…a tour of the city that doesn’t make me feel like a third wheel with newlyweds?”

  Clue laughed. His depressed seemed to lift. “All right, I can do that.”

  “Then we’ll call it even,” she said with a wink.

  He gave her a goofy smile.

  It melted her insides. The man was too good-looking for his own good.

  “Since I’m supposed to be showing you around. How about I take you somewhere else after we eat?” he suggested.

  “You’re not sick of me yet?” she asked.

  “I don’t’ think that’s possible, babe.”

  There was something in the four letter word that made the teenager inside her squeal. Don’t assume anything, he’s being nice.

  “Other than auditioning for Sainthood with your job. What do you like to do?”

  She laughed. “Saint Hood, oh, you sound pretty Catholic right now,” Birdie replied.

  “Oh, I’m a cradle Catholic.”

  “Likewise, my Da is Irish I was going to be a Catholic or a Protestant.”

  Clue snickered. “That must be what I hear in your voice. There’s a hint of southern twang, which I recognized, but then there’s something else too.”

  “Aye, the brogue,” she said thickening her accent. “Ye should hear it when I’m mad.”

  His eyes darkened and for a moment.

  Just then, she swore she saw desire in his gaze. It was an emotion he wasn’t alone in.

  CLUE

  He liked the feel of Birdie on the back of his bike. Her luscious thighs and large tits pressed up against him had him rock hard. She’d gotten the hang of leaning into the curves, and the awkwardness faded. He took the long way to Sandia Peak to catch the tram, enjoying the way she moved restlessly. He had a good idea of why. A smirk lined his lips. He revved the engine, and she moaned. Knowing she was on the back of his bike and full of need had him struggling to do the honorable thing. It’d been a long time since he played the role of a gentleman.

  Still, you didn’t treat a woman like Birdie like a common whore. She deserved respect. Serious wasn’t his style. So, his attraction to the wholesome girl made no sense. Yet, he remained hungry for more information. He’d never met someone so giving and sweet without a malicious intention. Women in his world told you what you wanted to hear and changed themselves to suit your needs. Birdie felt genuine and had a body he wanted to explore slowly with his tongue.

  He forced his thoughts to cold showers and puppies. Riding with a hard-on wasn’t comfortable. The wind felt good on his face, and he felt a million times lighter. She helped him see the world through his mother’s eyes. His mom had always been a strong woman. He should’ve known she was holding back. Everything she was experiencing she must’ve watered down for his benefit. He wouldn’t stop fighting. It wasn’t in him to do that, but he could back off, and let her recoup. If she didn’t want to be seen in a certain light, he could respect that.

  He placed his worries for his mother in the back of his head then enjoyed the scenic route and the sounds of pleasure spilling from Birdie’s lips. He pretended he hadn’t heard her moan when they parked. For now, he was high from it. Her reserved personality made him want to muss and dirty her up. She had a way of looking at you and seeing what was beneath. He knew he could be intimidating, but she hadn’t batted an eyelash, treating him with the care and consideration he was certain she gave her patients. He wanted to see her with all her walls down.

  Learning who Birdie Larkin was just became his newest mission. He loved a good mystery, it was what drew him to the world of hacking. A hot headed dare devil, his father, Wild, had been in and out of jail and the hospital over the years. He’d inherited the same gene, but he was wired differently. Uncovering secrets, breaking rules, and stealthily navigating the net had kept him out of trouble and given him a purpose. As the world shifted and technology took over, his skills had been incredibly relevant to the club.

  Clue drove up the paved road and took a parking spot in the lower level where people were less likely to dick with his bike. He backed in and killed the engine. “You up for some walking?” he asked.

  She stuck out her leg showing off her black and white lace-up tennis shoes. “I think so.”

  He patted her thigh, and they left the bike. “I won’t walk you to death, but there’s a tram ride I think you’ll enjoy.”

  “What if I’m afraid of heights?”

  He froze. “Are you?”

  “Nope.” She grinned.

  He snickered. “Underneath that quiet exterior, you’ve got a lot of sass lurking.”

  “I’m not quiet. I just observe first and act second.”

  “Not a bad thing,” Clue noted.

  “So, why the name Clue?” she asked following his lead as they made their way toward the ticket booth.

  “Because I like to figure things out. I’m what you’d call an information specialist when it comes to the computer.”

  “Aaaah. Funny, I wouldn’t guess that looking at you,” she said.

  “Good, that was the point of growing out my beard last year. I’m the youngest brother in Dueling Devils, and they constantly gave me shit about it. It happens a lot less now.”

  Birdie smirked. “So, you do know what it’s like to have siblings.”

  “Maybe I do.”

  They lapsed into a comfortable silence as she took everything in. “It’s so beautiful here rugged and full of open spaces. It’s completely different from North Carolina.”

&nbs
p; “I love it here. I’ve traveled other places, and the cities make me almost claustrophobic. Everything is pushed together, and buildings are all piled up on top of each other.” He shuddered as he thought of his time in New York City. “You won’t find a better view of the stars at night then you’ll find here.”

  “I’ve heard that. I like being outside. I want to get in some hikes and star gazing while I’m here.”

  “How long are you staying?” he asked.

  “Three months. I’m on a leave of absence. Burnout often happens in my field.”

  “Damn, I can imagine,” he replied.

  She turned to look at him, and he could see the ghosts haunting her. He wanted to ask her what happened. It’s not my place. He let it drop, and they walked up the stairs to the booth. “Two for the tram,” he said.

  “I can pay for myself,” Birdie protested.

  “Not when you’re with me, you can’t,” Clue countered. She needed to get used to being taken care of.

  Her cheeks grew pink, and she glanced down.

  They made the cash exchange, and the cashier handed him his flight number. “Come on, let’s do the tourist thing while we wait for our ride,” he suggested walking her over to the souvenirs. He picked up a key chain full of water and tilted it to the left and right making the tram move across the canyon. “When I was little, I used to love this junk. My mom would always let me pick out just one thing to bring home.”

  “She sounds like an awesome mom.”

  “She is,” he said, happy to remember the good times.

  “We used to road trip and it was the same way. What I loved most were the old school water tubes. They usually had glitter or little toys like fish or ducks.”

  Clue laughed. “Oh man, I had a collection of those, well…until I decided to see how they worked.”

  Birdie laughed. “Oh, my God. I can imagine the mess.”

  “Yeah, Mom was not happy with me that week.” Clue grinned.

  “For the Record, how did it work?”

  “Strategically placed plastic and shiny baubles,” he explained.

  “And yet, it kept you engaged for hours. It makes me question my childhood,” she said.