Born Bad

by Josephine Cox

  She replaced the receiver, then she took off her damp coat and went to make herself a cup of tea.

  While seated at the kitchen table, her thoughts went back to Judy. ‘I can’t leave you with that man,’ she murmured. ‘I’m so afraid for you, Judy.’ She took another sip of her tea. ‘It’s a blessing that Harry won’t be home until late. That way he can’t be out looking for Saunders. It means I’ve got a bit more time to get you away from that bad bugger.’

  She gasped at her use of bad language. ‘Oh! Kathleen O’Leary!’ She quickly made the sign of the cross on herself. ‘May you be forgiven.’

  As for Saunders … what would he do when he found Judy gone, she wondered? ‘When we manage to get her away, we’d best be sure we don’t say too much about it to anyone outside the family. Walls have ears,’ she muttered fearfully.

  From what she had seen and heard, it was obvious that Saunders looked on Judy as his property, bought and paid for.

  ‘Phil Saunders was a bad boy,’ she murmured, ‘and now that he’s all grown up, it seems he’s turned out to be a bad man.’

  She lifted her cup to her mouth, took a long invigorating sip, then another, before she put the cup down.

  Going into the sitting room, she fell into a chair and kicked her shoes off, groaning, ‘Oh, that’s lovely.’

  Within few minutes, she was hard and fast asleep.

  On a rare day, she truly felt her age. And whichever way you looked at it, today had been a long and tiring one.

  Later in the day, some hours after Katheen had gone, Phil Saunders turned into the street.

  ‘Evening, Phil.’ The man was both a mate and a neighbour. ‘What you been up to then, eh?’ Striding alongside him, the man gave a knowing wink.

  ‘What the devil d’you think I’ve been up to?’ Phil snapped back irritably. ‘I’ve been working my arse off as usual. Why? What have you been doing? Rummaging about in the rubbish tips, same as always?’

  ‘Don’t knock it, matey,’ the man replied with a wag of the finger. ‘You can find good stuff if you know where to look.’

  ‘Yes? Well, I’m not into all that.’

  ‘Yer must be into something though, what with folks hammering on your door, threatening all and sundry!’ The words were hardly out of his mouth than Phil had him by the throat.

  ‘What are you saying? Who was hammering on my door?’ he demanded.

  Struggling against the iron grip that held him, the man told him in snatches, ‘Some woman … shouting for Judy … to come home with her.’

  ‘You said she was threatening all and sundry. What did you mean by that?’

  ‘Well, I heard her saying that she would be back with a vengeance.’

  ‘Oh, did she now?’

  ‘A feisty old biddy, she was.’

  ‘Go on then. What was she like, this woman?’ Saunders gave him a shaking.

  ‘I dunno. Oldish woman … sounded Irish, or Scottish – I’m not sure.’

  ‘Oldish woman, eh?’ Throwing him aside, Saunders got to thinking. ‘What else did she say exactly?’

  ‘She were yelling “Open the door and come home with me, Judy, and we’ll sort it out”.’

  ‘Who’s we?’

  ‘How would I know?’

  ‘What else did she say?’

  The man shrugged. ‘Dunno. I was on my way out – that’s all I heard. Now will you let me go!’

  ‘Irish, you say?’

  ‘Sounded like it.’

  ‘An old woman?’

  ‘Yeah, but not old or bent, nothing like that.’

  ‘What was she wearing?’

  ‘Bloody hell, Phil, I can’t remember every little detail.’ The man wished he had never spoken.

  Saunders pinned him by the ears. ‘What was she wearing, damn it!’

  In pain, the man struggled to remember. ‘Er … a coat – kinda tweedy, if you know what I mean. Oh, and she had a headscarf on – blue, I think. And that’s all I can remember, I swear!’

  Satisfied, Saunders let him loose. ‘Now bugger off. There’ll be a pint for you in the pub on Friday. Okay?’

  Thankful to have been released, the man gave a quick nod, though he had no intention of getting too pally with Phil Saunders again, not after this.

  What the man had told him repeatedly played on Saunders’ mind. When he let himself into the house, he knew straight away that she’d been drinking. ‘Judy! Where are you?’ He slammed the door shut. ‘You drunken slut! You’ve been at the booze again, I can smell it! Judy? JUDY!’

  It wasn’t too long before he found her, stretched out on the bed like a rag doll. ‘Get up, idle bitch!’ Taking her by the arms, he dragged her into the bathroom where he slung her over the bath and turned the cold tap on her. When she began struggling and shouting, he threw her roughly to the floor. ‘Get yourself together, woman! You’ve got some talking to do.’

  While Judy shook herself awake, he went to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. ‘Slag!’ he kept saying. ‘If she’s entertaining that bastard, I’ll swing for the pair of ’em!’

  Feeling like death warmed up, Judy set about making herself look decent. Kathleen had called round, she remembered. She wanted to take her away. She said something about the child. I didn’t tell her, Judy thought. I should have told her.

  The tears were never far away. ‘I didn’t mean to send her away, but she can’t know,’ Judy sobbed. ‘Nobody can ever know!’ The thought of it made her feel physically ill.

  When she came into the kitchen, Saunders was rummaging through the cupboard. ‘Where’s my dinner?’ he demanded. He threw a tin of luncheon meat across the kitchen, where it clattered against the wall. ‘I’m a working man, damn it, I deserve to be looked after!’

  When she made no response, he strode across the room, grabbed her by the hair and swung her to him. ‘I hear you’ve had a visitor,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘No lies now. I’m not in the mood for lies.’

  Trapped by his manic strength, and with his voice reverberating in her ear, Judy went into a spasm of shivering.

  ‘Stop that!’ He shook her hard. ‘This visitor … who was she?’

  Judy took a deep breath. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

  ‘Liar!’ Throwing her aside, he watched her crumple against the chair; heard the dull sound as wood collided with bones, and he laughed. ‘Can’t even stand up,’ he chuckled. ‘What use are you, eh?’

  He observed that small heap of humanity, broken and used, and he was filled with contempt. ‘Get up,’ he ordered, and when she was slow in moving, he yelled louder, ‘Get up, damn it, or you’ll feel the weight of me boot!’

  He watched while she struggled up, and when she was standing on her own two feet, he lunged at her. Gripping her by the arms, he pulled her close. ‘The woman,’ he hissed. ‘Who was she?’

  Shaking her head, Judy closed her eyes, expecting the worst; waiting for his fist to jar her body.

  When he laughed out loud, she was shocked.

  ‘No matter,’ he said casually. ‘I know who she is. And I know why she was here.’ When Judy opened her eyes to look at him, he told her softly, ‘I saw her that day at the store … you were talking with her. Your boyfriend Harry was there, as I’m sure you remember.’

  Fear struck Judy’s heart. He knew! He knew about Kathleen, so what else did he know?

  ‘It didn’t mean anything,’ she said shakily. ‘She’s an old friend, that’s all.’

  ‘Oh, I know well enough who she is,’ he reminded her. ‘Or have you forgotten we all grew up in Fisher’s Hill … you, me, Harry Blake – and your old friend, Kathleen O’Leary!’

  ‘We were just talking!’ The fear showed in her voice. ‘I didn’t know she would be there.’

  ‘Did you know Blake would be there?’

  Judy shook her head.

  ‘I asked you a question!’

  Before she could think what to say, he told her wickedly, ‘It doesn’t matter anyway.’ He smiled in
to her face – a certain evil smile that she had come to know so well. ‘I have a plan,’ he whispered. ‘A plan that will put paid to your precious Harry Blake.’

  She knew what monstrous things he was capable of. ‘What plan?’ she asked nervously.

  ‘Oh, I see!’ He moved away. ‘So now you’re talking to me, eh? You take a beating, but you can’t take the idea of anything happening to your beloved Harry. Is that what he is, eh? Your beloved?’

  When she remained silent, the smile fell away and his eyes grew cold and hard. ‘We’ll soon put paid to that; you and me, and my clever little plan. You’ll know soon enough what it is, because you’ll be the one to help me.’

  ‘I’m not helping you to hurt anyone – especially Harry, because he’s done nothing wrong.’

  The mantelpiece clock ticked noisily in the background as he continued to stare at her, his mind fevered with jealousy, and his hands twitching at his sides. He wanted to punish her for being so bold, but especially for defying him, in coming to Harry Blake’s defence.

  He had to be careful though. His plan would not work if she was marked in any way. He had to keep her looking good, so she would carry out her part well.

  Realising that she would never take part in his scheme if she thought it would part her and Harry forever, he had to think hard as to how he could get her on his side.

  ‘I won’t help you!’ she was saying, ‘I mean it, Phil! I won’t help you to hurt anyone!’

  ‘You will help me!’

  When he came too close, she shrank into herself.

  ‘You and Blake. Have you been seeing each other?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Liar! You went to the store because you knew he was there. You made it clear you didn’t want me along, and then when you knew I meant to come with you, you changed your mind and said you didn’t want to go, after all. You were meeting him, weren’t you? Tell me the truth!’

  ‘No! I was not meeting him, and that’s the truth.’

  ‘I don’t believe you.’

  ‘I can’t help that, because I’m telling you that’s the truth. I was not meeting up with Harry. I have never met up with him. Up to me going to Jacobs’ Emporium, I hadn’t seen or heard from Harry Blake for nearly eighteen years.’

  She sounded sincere, as though she really was telling the truth, but Phil knew she had seen Harry that day, accidentally or otherwise, and he sensed, like a jealous man does, that Harry Blake desperately wanted her back.

  ‘If Blake was to ask you to leave me for him, what would you say?’ Before she could answer he gripped her by the arms until she winced. ‘Be very careful, my love. I’ll know if you’re hiding something.’

  For a long moment, Judy said nothing. She knew he was up to no good. She knew that if she said the things that were in her heart, her husband would finish her there and then, so she played it carefully.

  ‘Firstly, he would not ask me to leave you. Why should he? I’ve never given him any encouragement. And secondly, I’m your wife. My place is here with you.’

  He smiled that certain smile. ‘Just as I thought, you can’t even give me a straight answer. I was right! I said I would know if you were hiding something.’

  With a gentleness that made her afraid, he led her to the sofa, where he sat her down. He then sat beside her. ‘I know you’re wondering what my little plan is,’ he said. ‘I need you to listen carefully, because I’m about to outline it in detail.’

  Which he did, taking her through every step, every word, the time and place, and her part in it.

  When it was done he sat back, pleased with himself. ‘So, what d’you reckon to it, eh?’ he asked gleefully. ‘A good plan, don’t you think, and nobody gets hurt. Well, maybe just a little, eh?’

  He saw how the blood had drained from Judy’s face and he was beside himself with satisfaction. ‘Tomorrow,’ he instructed. ‘Do it tomorrow, or you know what will happen, and I can promise you it will not be pretty.’

  That night, greatly excited, he took her with such force that she felt only loathing for him; and for herself. Afterwards, while he was sleeping, she ran a bath and lay down in it, until her skin dried and wrinkled and the water trickled away through the drains. She wanted to do away with herself. She even took his razor from the shelf and held it to her already scarred arms.

  But then she thought of what might happen if she did go through with it. Harry would find out the truth, and he would go after Saunders with a blind vengeance. There would be blood spilled, and she would be responsible!

  Realising she had little choice, she crept into bed, and quietly sobbed herself to sleep.

  Phil heard her, and smiled. She’ll help me, he thought. She won’t let me down.

  He took a moment to savour his victory, then he turned over to sleep. A satisfied man, in more ways than one.

  Many miles away, down in Weymouth, Harry had a lot to think about, including Judy, but for the moment he had to keep her to the back of his mind.

  Having placed the fresh flowers in Sara’s little garden, he opened his heart to her. ‘I went back like you said,’ he told her. ‘You were right. I found comfort, and a certain peace in my homeland.’

  He explained the present situation. ‘I haven’t found me and Tom a permanent home yet, but I’ve got a job, and we’re all right for now. Irish Kathleen took us in, as you knew she would.’

  Looking about, he saw Tom at the far end of the churchyard, chasing a stray cat. ‘Don’t wander too far, Tom,’ he called.

  ‘I won’t, Daddy!’

  He returned to his conversation. ‘Tom gets on so well with Kathleen, but he misses you. He doesn’t cry as much now, but I know he still hurts for you. We both do.’ He choked back the emotion. ‘You were such a wise and beautiful soul,’ he smiled wistfully. ‘Life really does have a way of going forwards, and like you said, we must go with it and do the best we can.’

  At that moment, the breeze heightened and with the church being high up on the hill, the force was that much stronger.

  ‘It’s getting chilly now.’ He pulled up the collar of his overcoat. ‘I’ve done what I came to do, my sweet. I had a talk with poor old Roland Sparrow’s wife, and his mate Arthur is going to tend your garden for us.’

  The knowledge that her resting-place would be kept beautiful had come as a great comfort to him. ‘For now though, I need to see the priest. After that, if I’m to get home in time to get Tom a good night’s sleep, I’d best make tracks. We won’t have to stay the night after all.’

  He lingered a moment longer. ‘I saw her,’ he revealed. ‘I saw Judy like you wanted, only things are not good with her. She was so thin, and sad-looking. She’s married now, to an old rival of mine by the name of Phil Saunders, a real bad lot.’

  He thought of Judy, and Saunders, and the anger boiled in him. ‘I promise I won’t do anything that I shouldn’t,’ he said. ‘Only I don’t believe she’s at all happy. I think she needs help, and I’m not sure quite how to deal with it.’

  Taking a moment to think of Sara and the way it was between them, he smiled. ‘You would know what to do,’ he whispered. ‘If you have any influence up there, I know you will try and help her. If you can.’

  A little prayer, a kiss over her name, and then he went after Tom. ‘Tom! We need to go now.’

  A happy little fellow, thankfully fast recovering from recent events, Tom came running. He stooped to place his little bunch of wild flowers on the grave, then hugged his mammy’s name for the second time. ‘I hope you like it in heaven,’ he told her. ‘Love you, Mammy. Got to go now.’

  Holding Harry’s hand, he went along the path and into the church, where the priest was replenishing the candles.

  ‘Ah, Harry, there you are!’ said Father Connor.

  The priest offered Tom the chance to put the candles in the tray. ‘Do you think you could do it without breaking any?’ he asked, and Tom puffed out his little chest. ‘Daddy says I’m worth ten men,’ he declared, and both men had to sm
ile.

  ‘Right then, meladdo.’ Father Connor put the candles in Tom’s reach. ‘Let’s see what you can do.’

  Like two old friends, the men sat side by side in the pew. ‘Has everything gone well with the new arrangements?’ Father Connor wanted to know.

  Harry explained that everything was fine, that Sara would be well looked after by Arthur, Roland’s friend, until the former was back on his feet. ‘It’s a worry off my mind,’ he finished.

  Father Connor gave him a sideways look. ‘You have something else on your mind, don’t you?’ he said. ‘Something you want to share with me.’

  Harry nodded. ‘I’m not sure what to do,’ he said, and went on to explain his history with regards to Judy. ‘I know she’s unhappy. I could see it in her face.’

  ‘And you say Sara advised you to go back there?’

  ‘She did.’ Harry wanted to find a way to explain. ‘I met Sara a couple of years after I was demobbed. She knew all about my past, including Judy. I was an orphan, when a wonderful lady called Kathleen O’Leary, a neighbour in Fisher’s Hill, took me under her wing. Judy and her family had recently moved into the street and right from the first I was drawn to her; she was such a sweet and lovely girl. Quiet, so shy.’ He smiled at the memory.

  ‘You loved her, didn’t you?’

  ‘Oh, yes.’ Harry felt it strongly even now. ‘I adored her.’

  ‘And you love her still, yes?’

  ‘I don’t think I ever stopped loving her.’

  The priest could read it all in Harry’s expression. He saw the love – a powerful thing – and he saw the pain. ‘Did something go wrong?’

  Harry hesitated. ‘At first, being with Judy was indescribable,’ he recalled. ‘I was never happier than when we were together. No matter what went on around us, we had each other, and the world was ours.’

  He paused again. The memories had darkened.

  ‘Go on, Harry,’ the priest gently urged. ‘Tell me what you came to tell me.’

  Harry took a deep breath. ‘It was all so wonderful, and then it went horribly wrong. Judy led me into a situation that should never have happened. She deceived me. I was really thrown. It wasn’t like the Judy I knew and loved.’ Thinking about it now was too painful.