Finding Erin

by America Leigh

  “What the hell do you suggest Ray. There isn't an easy fix to this situation." Ray was quiet, considering something. Probably how he was going to spin this scenario. It wasn’t the first time we have had to do this.

  "I need to tell them" I told him, in a resigned tone, but I already knew what his response would be to that.

  "You know the answer to that, Faith. This can never come out, we will risk your safety and your friends as well. If your photo is recognised, you know what I will have to do"

  I did. Didn't mean I liked it though.

  "I'm not fifteen anymore Ray" I told him, rolling my eyes at the phone and getting inpatient with having to factor in every little detail to keep my secret. I hated it and I'd had enough. It was Ray’s turn to sigh "I know that cupcake, but you also know the consequences. Keep a low profile and I'll call you in a few days" Ray’s tone had softened considerably. The nickname he had given me at fourteen held so many memories. I wasn't sure I wanted that old life of fear and denial that was attached to Ray being back in my life.

  I made it up to my room without seeing anyone. I knew deep down that the girls would give me the space I needed and then rally round later when I needed to talk about whatever was going on between me and Ellerson. What was going on between me and Ellerson? I didn’t even know? So how the hell was I going to explain this one to them? I laid on my bed and thought about the past. Meeting Ray, being thrust into the system, meeting the girls and then meeting Ellerson. I knew deep down that I wouldn’t change my life, especially the people in it, but there was that small part of me wondering what it would be like to have a normal life. No secrets, no betrayal. Just a little piece of happiness. I curled up into a ball and cried myself to sleep. I haven’t felt the need to since I was a kid. I didn’t know if I was crying for the life I lost or the life I couldn’t have.

  Either way. I was never getting what I want.

  Chapter Twelve.

  Erin.

  “What the hell was that about?” Justice practically screamed out to an almost empty room. After everything we have been through over the last twenty four hours, watching Faith explode in front of us all had alarm bells ringing. Justice was the volatile one, but watching Faith rip into Rhodes like he was a piece of meat, made me realise that things were shifting. We were all falling apart under the pressure and the cracks were showing.

  I turned and frowned at Eddie, who was standing back overseeing the performance. “We need to talk” I said to Eddie “Now” making my demand. I needed to know what the hell was happening and how this was going to keep affecting Faith, Peace and Justice. Eddie’s face was pale and drawn, but he followed me down the hall into one of the other rooms on the ground floor. All of the bedrooms were in the top two floors with the boys on the second floor and us girls on the third floor.

  I marched into the room and spun around, giving Eddie no time for excuses. “Why was I taken?” I asked confidently. Eddie froze.

  “I don’t know”

  “Who am I?” I asked, starting at the beginning.

  “I already told you that part. Your real name is Margaret Montgomery, who was kidnapped ten years ago. The police found forensics to suggest you were taken.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know” Eddie replied, shrugging his shoulders.

  “What the fuck do you know, Eddie?” I asked, throwing my hands up in frustration. He wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t know already. I walked up in front of him and raised my eyes to meet his. “Let me tell you what I know. I woke up alone in a hospital bed in a strange place over ten years ago. No one looked for me and no one came for me either. I was shuffled off into social services and given a name. Then was shipped off into foster care until I was old enough to stand on my own two feet. If it wasn’t for them girls in there, I would have given up years ago.” I took a few sharp breaths, still pointing in the direction of the living room. Eddie ran his warm palms up and down my arms in quick and soothing strokes. His breath coated my face like a balm of strength. “Breathe, baby” Eddie whispered over and over, his soothing rhythm continued with each calming note he spoke to me. Eddie’s ministrations continued and I closed my eyes to see that familiar willow tree and Eddie telling me to breathe. I didn’t understand the full impact of what Eddie meant to me, but I did realise that Eddie and I were tied. Both the past and present were colliding for a reason and my memories resurfacing at this particular moment had to mean something compared to the darkness I have been embroiled in. I could feel Eddie’s breath on my neck, slowing breathing in and out. His breath hitched when I heard him take a sharp intake of breath and his hold on me tightened in response. His hard plains of his physique made me want to find solace in the intensity of his embrace. Eddie’s whisper rendered me immobile. “I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. You wore a baby pink dress with your hair in pigtails that curled at the ends. The caramel in your eyes rendered me speechless ever since then. You called me pretty after that and you had me in the palm of your hand to do what you willed. The path we shared wasn’t always easy. Your father thought that my father and I, would use you as some kind of pawn to try and gain some kind of leverage against him. Against his company. I told him time and time again, that all I was interested in was you, but his greed for power had him convinced that I didn’t care for you at all.” Eddie paused, looking deep into my eyes. “You have to understand Erin, we planned a way so we would be allowed to see each other without any interference from any of our parents” Eddie paused again, hesitating at what he was going to tell me, trying to gauge my reaction. “I negotiated a deal with my father to invest in the company in exchange for a contract”

  “What type of contract?”

  “The contract….it was….”

  “What was the contract for, Eddie?” I asked, challenging him. The vulnerable look on his usually confidant face, had me wondering why all the secrecy.

  “The contract was….a marriage contract” Eddie’s voice descending into a mere whisper. A marriage contract….does that mean….I was bought.

  “It sounds worse than it is,” Eddie countered.

  I whipped my head round at his comment. “And how do you make that out, Eddie. You didn’t buy me from your father to save my father’s company, because it sounds as bad as it can frigging get. For Christ sake. I’ve entered the frigging twilight zone and woken up to a Hollywood blockbuster where guns and marriage contracts are given out like sweets in a candy shop.” I quipped sarcastically. Trying to present anything, but the vulnerability and fear I felt. Eddie raised his brow in response and sighed. “No. We decided this together. We had to try and stop them from ripping us apart, this was our only choice”

  “It can’t have been that extreme Eddie. This isn’t Romeo and Juliet.”

  “Please listen to me.” Eddie asked breathlessly, looking solemn. “They tried to take you from me, three months before you were taken. The trip to Paris, was an attempt to enrol you in a Parisian boarding school and separate us for as long as possible. The contract was the only way I could guarantee that they couldn’t part us or use either of us against one another. I thought I was doing what was best. I just wanted you with me.” Eddie’s words rushed out, laced with regret and remorse. His shoulders slumped. His hands dropped to his sides. He ran his fingers through his hair again. I looked at the man that had fought to find me for the last ten years and felt vulnerable at the thought. How could I be angry for him wanting to protect our relationship from our parents? As soon as we had arrived at Eddie’s house, Justice had scowered the internet for Maggie Montgomery and my parents. What little information Justice found, was far from stellar.

  “So…this was partly my idea?” I asked quietly, processing what Eddie was telling me.

  “Yes. I was enrolled at Cambridge before we decided on a contract. You were adamant that we had to do something, so we could see each other at the weekends. Once your father had signed the contract, he had no choice but consent to any demands we had rega
rding your spare time outside of school. Basically baby, you belonged to me.” Eddie chuckled at the end. I had to smile at the carefree humour of his admission to the contract. His reaction wasn’t of a man that had to force commitment onto an underage girlfriend, it was of a young man trying to protect what was his. A weight lifted.

  “So….”

  “So…”Eddie repeated, wrapping his arms around my wrist bringing me in close.

  “Does that contract still stand?” I asked shyly. I wasn’t entirely sure why that question was important, but when my pulse accelerated, I realised I wanted nothing more to belong to Eddie. What the hell was I thinking?

  Eddie smiled as he looked down into my eyes. “Yeah, baby. It still stands, by law you’re practically my wife. All the documentation supported our claim to each other in all respects to our lives.” I shook my head. I didn’t understand what Eddie was getting at. “What do you mean?” I frowned and turned away from him.

  Eddie’s smile was wide. “Erin, listen, don’t freak out. We signed contracts to give each other power of attorney over property, money and rights over every part of each other lives.” His words weighed heavy on my shoulders. I stood stock still. Did he mean? Does that make me? Aw shit!!!!

  Eddie ran his palms up and down my arms in a soothing rhythm, just like before. Eddie had a knack at calming me down, I was secretly loving that little fact.

  “Yes” Eddie whispered tenderly into my ear.

  “Yes what?” I asked confused.

  “Yes, you own everything I do.” Eddie admitted. The smile he had moments ago spread even wider. I had expected him to be concerned by the fact that he could potentially lose billions if I held him to that contract, but the shit eating grin that was plastered over his entire face suggested he was pleased by my realisation. This entire fiasco was too psychotic to even be considered true. This had to be some kind of wind up. There was no way on earth that Eddie would freely sign a contract at eighteen and saddle his gorgeous self to me for his entire life.

  “Was there a get out clause in this marriage contract?” I asked, sure that this scheme was some kind of hoax. Eddie’s face drained of colour has he processed my question.

  “No. The contract was valid until death and there was a no divorce clause added to protect us both from intimidation.” Eddie added casually.

  “I bet you’re glad you didn’t marry me after all” I chuckled. Eddie wouldn’t want to be stuck in a marriage with me for the rest of his life. I bet he was glad that I had been taken. The mere thought of Eddie not wanting me, made my blood run cold.

  “The contract still stands, Erin.” Eddie stated. His features remained as impartial as if he was talking about a business acquisition.

  “It can’t be. I’m not Margaret Montgomery anymore’ I informed him, raising my eyebrow to challenge him. I wasn’t playing this kind of game with him, he could forget trying to treat me like one of his acquisitions.

  “I can change that, a simple DNA test would determine that, baby” Eddie’s smarmy smile was laced with his arrogance and filled my throat with bile.

  “I am not an acquisition” I informed him and turned to storm out the room. An arm gripped my wrist and I was frozen in fear. The flashes of darkness and the memory of a bag being over my head had me sobbing and slumping to the floor. Eddie’s grip became feather like and concern pulled at his drawn face.

  “Erin, talk to me, please, you’re scaring me” Eddie’s words drifted through the fog. He was frowning down at my slumped form. My limbs were heavy and ached under the strain of the hard stone floor. I licked my lips over and over trying to gain control over my dry mouth.

  I swallowed hard. “I…I” I was suddenly lost for words, what did I say. I didn’t have any answers for him, even if Eddie asked for one.

  “Breathe, baby. I’m right her” Eddie soothed in a gentle tone. The soft words pulled me out of reality and back to the words that constantly rang through my mind. "You just need to dig deep enough, I'm there right beneath the surface" I had heard those soft textures of Eddie’s voice before. I knew deep within my soul that he had been telling me the truth, but my mind had been locked under the strain. I glanced up and found Eddie’s penetrating gaze and leaned into his warmth and took deep breaths.

  “Did we sit under a willow tree?” I asked, my voice groggy from the sobs that had overtaken my body minutes before. I heard Eddie sharp intake of breath and instantly knew the answer. I had remembered something from my past. Our past. Eddie’s body slumped in my arms. I was overwhelmed with the need to soothe him and protect him from any more pain.

  “I dreamt of you under the willow tree” I told him, making him forget all the bad and hurt of what he had been through trying to find me. Eddie’s eyes gleamed with unshed tears. He held a lifetime of pain and I wanted to take every ounce of misery from those soulful brown eyes. “It was a summer’s day and the tree stood tall in front of me and then I hear you approach from behind me. I asked what you were doing here and you told me that this was our place. I was confused, but you looked into my eyes and confidently told me that i just needed to dig deep enough, and you were right beneath the surface. I didn’t understand what you was trying to tell me, until you told me to breathe. I can’t explain how it works, Eddie, but you’re underneath my skin and all this craziness reminded me of that.”

  “Is the amnesia gone?” Eddie asked, trying to hide his excitement. The pulse in his neck quickened.

  “No, it was just a dream. I can’t remember anything else.” I reached out and touched Eddie’s arm when he blew a long and frustrated breath out dramatically. I touched his arm tenderly and made him look at me. “The way I reacted to you in the restaurant and at the house, I knew that we were connected somehow, even though I can’t mentally link the connection, I know its there.”

  He nodded silently.

  Eddie’s body relaxed and leaned into my embrace. My words had placated him for now, but I had the worse feeling that my inability to remember could hurt Eddie and I feared that more than the threat that was trying to kill me.

  Chapter Thirteen.

  Eddie.

  Erin sagged into my embrace and I was silently glad of it. I wish I could have told her our past without the gory details, but if she dug deep enough she would find the truth and I wasn’t going to risk losing her all over again. If she was going to trust me, than I had to be completely honest with her. The niggling feeling that the amnesia was here to stay filled me with dread. What if I couldn’t make her happy with her just being Erin? Maggie had been woven into my core since we had been kids. What if I couldn’t be enough for Erin? What if she decided that she wanted someone else? Could I really stand back and watch someone else love her, make her happy and have children with her. Oh hell no. My heart squeezed at the mere thought of someone else making love to her and watching her fall apart beneath them. I could never allow that.

  “Marry Me?” I blurted out. I paused at the thought, maybe my brain was one step ahead of my body, because that wasn’t a bad fucking idea. If I made Erin officially mine, no one could take her away from me again. She would be forever mine.

  Erin didn’t even flinch, she pulled her head back and looked deep into my eyes. “Are you asking Maggie or Erin?” She whispered.

  “Both. I loved Maggie then and I love you now. You are one in the same and I don’t care if I call you Maggie or Erin because both of you hold my heart and you always have. The very first moment I saw those caramel eyes. I was completely and utterly yours. I could never love anyone like I love you Erin and I may be rushing you because I’m scared of losing you all over again, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I have lived for you since I was ten years old” I admitted truthfully.

  Erin’s tears silently fell. I didn’t want her to ever question my love for her, if I called her Erin or Maggie, to me she was both. She may be an older version of the girl I once loved unconditionally, but that didn’t ever change the fact that when I closed my eyes and looke
d at my future, she was all I could see, anyway I could have her.

  “I don’t know what to say” Erin swallowed hard, her body was shaking in my arms now. I wish I could make her see that she was everything to me. I remembered I had brought something that would help me convince her. I walked into the bedroom and left Erin stood in the middle of the living room. I quickly grabbed the box and returned to her side. Erin looked sceptically at the tatty box and silently asked what it was. I shook my head and tried to remain calm. This box had travelled around countries and anywhere else I had lived over the past decade. It remained close to my side, praying and hoping that I could finally reveal the content to Maggie.

  “Here” I said, passing her the box. “I have carried this around with me since you were taken, I had planned to show you when you turned sixteen, but you were taken a few weeks before I had the chance”

  Erin studied the box has if the contents could psychically scare her from this day forward, if I was being completely honest with myself, they would. I had kept every little thing to show her that she was the only one for me. Erin opened the box with a gasp. Her eyes lit up with the trinkets that linked the pieces of our past.

  “What is all this?” She asked, with awe in her voice.

  “Our past” I said simply. I didn’t have to explain anything more to Erin. Her eyes held an understanding that if it had been anyone else I wouldn’t have understood it, but Maggie had always had a knack at reading in between the lines. Erin remained silent. Her nimble fingers were clung to a velvet box that I had forgotten I had put in there.

  “What’s this” Erin asked innocently. I cocked my head at her stunned face.

  “What do you think it is?”

  “Oh God, you wasn’t joking were you?” Erin’s face paled and her mouth hung open while she processed what I was telling her against the proof she was holding in her hands.

  “Open it?” I said simply, more than ready to prove to her that I had every intention to make her my wife at sixteen as I do at twenty five.