Chariots on the Highway

by Limor Moyal

  Tom felt exactly the same. He became much more determined about getting back home from the base every time he could. He didn’t volunteer to stay weekends in the base anymore, and he made sure to avoid unnecessary risks.

  Suddenly, his priorities had changed. If before Dan, the army was the most important thing in his life, because the army was his home and family, now it was Dan, and he was prepared to do anything for him; including coming home more often, and keeping himself safe for Dan, because Dan needed him.

  Things in the base were very stressful. Shai took him for a private conversation and updated him that Abu-Mustafa, an elimination target that their team has been preparing to take down for months now, had apparently left Syria and went under the radar. Shai said they were expecting him to show up in Lebanon, in preparation for a big assembly of the heads of the organization there. When it happened, they’d execute the hit.

  Shai made it very clear that it could happen at any given moment, and despite the flexibility he showed Tom regarding leaves and passes now that he had a partner, he expected that in the zero-hour, Tom would be ready and available.

  Military operations never scared Tom. He wasn’t afraid to die, he was more afraid of being badly injured, but now that he had something to lose, that he had a good reason to live, his motivation to go out to the field wasn’t high. He acknowledged the importance of the hit. The subject was a mega-terrorist, responsible for the kidnapping and killing of Israeli soldiers, and hundreds of civilians in Syria.

  The hit was necessary and just. Nevertheless, he wasn’t thrilled about it, he hoped the 'clear' order would never come through. The What-ifs that were never an issue before become nagging voices in his head, especially the care for Dan if anything were to happen to him.

  Dan was on Ayalon on the way home, enjoying the playlist Tom left him in his Jeep and wallowing in thoughts about Tom, sex and Tom.

  Suddenly the phone rang in the car and pulled him back to reality.

  ‘Robby’ appeared on the screen. He hadn’t to his best buddy for over a year. Robby tried a few times, sent e-mails and left messages, but Dan politely rejected him. He wasn’t available to give anything from himself to someone, while he was in the midst of the chaos that was his life up until recently and he hadn’t feel like explaining it to anyone while he couldn’t explain it to himself.

  But now when the storm had calmed, and he could see more clearly, he thought this might be a good time to answer, “Hi Robby.”

  “Dan-Dan, what’s up dude?” Only Robby called him Dan-Dan, a left-over military nickname that was stuck to him like a gum to a shoe. He hated that name, but he let it slide.

  “I'm all good, Robby, how about you? Liz? The kids?”

  “We’re great. I thought maybe we could meet,” suggested Robby, and Dan could recognize the doubt in his voice that such a meeting would actually happen.

  He didn’t blame Robby. After all, the man went through incessant rejections and hadn’t given up, “Sounds great. What did you have in mind?” asked Dan.

  “How do you feel about coming over to our place for dinner on Friday night?” Robby suggested.

  Without too much thought, Dan answered, “Tom’s coming home on Friday, so dinner sounds good, just know I'm not coming alone,” the answer came out naturally and without any hesitation.

  If he couldn't accept it, it would be goodbye and see-you-never. The relationship between them wasn’t really there as it had been, since Lena and Liz never got along well, a fact that only deepened the gap between them.

  “Tom? Who’s Tom?” asked Robby, all surprised.

  “Tom’s my partner, Robby. I divorced Lena six months ago and since then, more or less, I'm in a relationship with a great guy, and his name is Tom. I guess you’re surprised, me too, actually. But I'm happy and I feel good and I'll be happy to come over for Friday dinner at your place, I hope you’ll accept us a couple,” answered Dan.

  There was a silence for a few moments.

  “Of course it’s okay, Liz will love it. The kids aren’t home during the weekend anyway so we won’t need a special explanation. Of course you’re invited.”

  He stopped for a moment and then yelled into the phone.

  “Dan-Dan you’re gay!” he laughed, “I can’t believe it.

  I really hope this Tom is better than Lena, man, because I've really missed you,” he said with a quieter tone, a little embarrassed.

  “He’s much better than Lena and he’s a Macabi fan. I'm sure you’ll get along great. And I've missed you too, Robby,” he said and was surprised to find out he actually meant it.

  Robby had always accepted him, Robby never gave up, Robby didn’t change, Robby wanted to be a friend. A friend with no conditions.

  He always had a hard time figuring out why the hell people loved him, but ever since Tom, he had learned to accept it.

  They arrived at the apartment at Rishon LeZion and Liz opened the door for them with a wide, warmhearted smile.

  “Come on in, Dan. I've missed you, handsome,” she said, and hugged him tight, “And you must be Tom, no wonder Dan changed teams for you, you’re hot!”

  Tom gave her a kiss on the cheek, “It’s great to meet you, Liz, thank you for having us,” he answered with a shy politeness.

  Robby came out to the living room, clean after a shower, and hugged Dan, a strong manly hug, “Dan-Dan, it’s good to see you man!”

  “You too, Robby.”

  “Nice to meet you, I'm Robby,” he put his hand out to Tom.

  “It’s nice to meet you too, I'm Tom.”

  “Come on in, you can go ahead and sit at the dinner table. We’ll jump right in with the food,” said Robby and headed to the kitchen to help his wife.

  The meal was simple and homey. All of the food was served in central bowls, without pretension or ceremony. Tom liked it.

  They opened a bottle of red wine to break the ice.

  Robby told silly strange stories from the army that Dan would have preferred to forget. Tom laughed and was excited to find out the more silly sides, of his new, dark partner.

  “So, Dan, what happened that you divorced Lena?” Liz asked all of a sudden.

  “I woke up, I realized there’s no use in torturing the both of us with a purposeless relationship,” answered Dan, with honesty and ease.

  “Does it have anything to do with Tom?” she asked with no hesitation. Despite the bluntness and lack of tact, Dan peacefully and calmly answered, “No, we got divorced before I met Tom. Tom came later and taught me a lot of things about myself I didn’t know. And I'm not talking about my sexuality, I'm talking about deeper parts that were keeping me stuck.”

  Tom listened to Dan’s confession and was flattered hearing how Dan saw him and how much he was open to share his feelings with others.

  Liz continued with her invasive interrogation. Tom liked the fact that the woman took off her social filters, or maybe she was never wearing them, who knew?

  Direct people scared him much less than people who kept their agendas hidden.

  “So, Tom, tell me, since when have you known that you’re gay?”

  Dan looked at her, a little shocked, but Tom just smiled at her and answered with no hesitation.

  “Ever since I saw Edward Scissorhands in fifth grade. While all my friends thought Winona was hot, I was actually thinking about Johnny at night. It was pretty obvious from the beginning,” he confessed.

  “And have you checked it? Like, with women I mean, how can you be sure?”

  Tom took a sip from his wine, he knew he couldn’t avoid telling the story that Liz was going to get out of him no matter what. He preferred telling it in one go, and sparing her the effort.

  “I was in eighth grade when everyone started with kissing and making out. I had a girl-friend from my class, Carrey was her name, and we’d kissed a few times. I wasn’t repulsed by the actual kiss, but it also didn’t do anything for me, it was like tasting someone else’s spit, something mechanical and p
ointless. I realized I'm probably missing something here and it can’t be that this is what kissing is about. I waited for a chance to test it with a guy, at that point I already knew I liked boys better, but I didn’t know anyone like me I could try it with besides Gordon. Gordon was a collage boy who lived not too far away, and took care of our yard from time to time. Every time he came by, I'd sit on the stairs by the house and look at him. He’d take his shirt off and wipe the sweat off himself, his muscles would move under the shirt while mowing the lawn. I was enchanted and couldn’t stop looking. One summer day when I brought him a glass of cold water, he asked me why I kept looking at him all the time. I told him he was beautiful and that I couldn’t stop myself, he asked if I wanted to kiss him, I said yes and we went into the garden shed behind the house. I remember it was hot inside, oven hot, and the smell of compost and the humidity almost suffocated us. He was all sweaty, and he smelled like cut grass and sun and musk, and for some reason this mix turned me on. Then he kissed me and the angels sang, and birds tweeted and everything. Suddenly it wasn’t a tongue tasting a tongue. The technicalities weren’t important. It was so much beyond that… It was amazing, and, of course, it ended with a wet stain in my pants. Gordon was happy with the result, and ever since then we’d meet in the garden shed and improve our techniques. He was my first.”

  Tom finished the story with a smile and Liz had a satisfied, semi in love look on her face. “Wow, that’s an amazing story, so Gordon was your first love?” she asked.

  “Not really, no. Gordon was my first experience,” he answered.

  “So who was your first love?” she continued with the investigation.

  “Well that’s easy, Dan, of course,” he answered and looked at Dan with a loving look on his face.

  “Shut up! I can’t believe it, this is so romantic! I'm going to get the dessert and another bottle of wine, and then I want to hear some more,” she said and walked to the kitchen.

  “Forgive her, the woman has no boundaries!” Robby apologized on his wife’s behalf, but his look said he forgave her and loved her just the way she was.

  “It’s fine. I'm happy to share, especially when having such an enthusiastic crowd,” answered Tom.

  They moved to the living room with the wine and the snacks and deserts.

  “Tom, do you think Mocha drapes would look good in here? I'm not sure if I want Mocha or Crème,” asked Liz.

  “I'm sorry to disappoint, Liz, but I'm not that kind of gay. As far as I'm concerned, purple and fuchsia are the same color. I have no idea what’s the difference between a skirt and a dress and I prefer baseball and basketball over beauty contests or Eurovision. You’ll have to find another gay guy for decorating advice,” he grinned, and everyone burst out laughing.

  The evening was a success, the hours went by. They laughed a lot and shared looks. Especially Tom and Dan, looks that said, without words, how much they loved, how proud they were and how good they felt together.

  Dan was happy that Tom was giving him Robby back, and Robby was thankful himself. There was nothing strange or weird in their dynamics and in their meeting as two couples. The fact that one couple included two guys and the other included a man and a woman didn’t bother or reduce the good atmosphere that was between them.

  They said their goodbyes to the hosting couple with hugs and promises for more meetings to come.

  “You were amazing Tommy, thank you, it was important to me to bring Robby back into my life and I’m sure that, after tonight, we’ll be even closer,” said Dan.

  “It didn’t take too much effort on my end, Dan, they’re charming, welcoming people. And Liz is funny and sweet, although she is missing a filter between her brain and her mouth. In her case, it’s actually kind of sweet,” confessed Tom.

  “Yeah. She’s not really subtle, or civilized, as you say. That’s why Lena couldn’t deal with her. Lena’s main concerns were always about how to look and act in a civilized manner, and I guess it frustrated her that Liz doesn’t bother to pretend, acting barbaric and folksy, and despite all that, her husband worships the ground she walks on. That fact alone upset Lena, she wanted to be my ‘Lizzy’, but she wasn’t meant to be,” said Dan.

  “Do you remember I once told you, that one day, you’ll find your Lizzy?” smilingly asked Tom.

  “I remember,” answered Dan and looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a small smile.

  “So instead of a Lizzy, you found a ‘Lezzy’. Well, gay. It’s the next best thing!” said Tom and sent him a glowing smile.

  Dan laughed, “You are very much gay tonight, Tommy, is it the wine or are you just happy to see me?”

  Tom reached to Dan’s pants and slowly opened his zipper, to find his cock hard and ready, and a second before he took him in his mouth, he said, “Both, Dan-Dan.”

  The drive on Ayalon tonight, was exceptionally unique.

  The road was open, the air coming in from the Jeep’s windows was crisp and refreshing. Johnny Cash, was singing Highwayman in the background, and the blow-job Tom gave him while he was driving made this ride an unforgettable one.

  Somewhere after the Glilot interchange, Dan came hard, filling up Tom mouth, and for a moment he thought he was seeing soap bubbles in the corners of his eyes.

  22 Bigger under the Stars

  When Tom told Dan he’d be coming home for a week leave from the army, Dan was happy and started planning their time together.

  But Tom explained to him that after this leave and until his upcoming release, he wouldn’t be able to be home too much. He explained that things were happening, and the heat was on. He couldn’t say more than that, but Dan, who knew a thing or two about the army from his service days, understood exactly what that meant.

  Not only that, he also knew more than Tom revealed by nagging Robby, who had some connections within the army. Robby told him where Tom was serving and what it meant exactly. When he found out what his soldier was actually doing in the army, he was filled with pride and anxiety. His team was a part of an elite squad that specialized in ‘Cosmetic Treatments.’

  Covert eliminations of high-profile targets. Every fighter in his unit was at the top of his game, and the risk level they were exposed to was extremely high.

  Robby told Dan that Tom has quite the military qualifications and he stood out in his abilities to read and remember maps and navigate. Tom was the team’s Heavy Machine gun operator (HMG). That, Dan knew before Robby told him. Dan didn’t tell Tom what he knew, but parts of what Tom would sometimes say in conversations between them, would come together with what he knew from Robby.

  He knew that this operation, that had been cooking up for months, was getting closer. He knew it would be executed, somewhere during the time period between the week leave, and the release. So he asked Murphy, the dick with the authority, that the operation be postponed until after Tom’s release. He wanted his soldier kept safe and sound.

  Of course, he didn’t tell Tom about his worries. Tom made an immense effort to make everything seem okay, so he wouldn’t worry Dan. And Dan did the same thing, so he wouldn’t show Tom that he was worried, but he was very worried. They decided to spend their week together in Eilat. Dan still despised the southern city, and had avoided it religiously over the years. He made sure to take all his vacations abroad. Something in the sticky, crowded, troubling Israeli spirit, made him feel the opposite of a vacation, but Tom was a soldier and his job prevented vacations abroad while in service. He knew that Tom had never visited Eilat either, not since he was a kid, and he wanted to surprise him.

  He rented a suite in a most luxurious hotel, and even made sure that the suite had its own pool.

  They left for Eilat on Sunday afternoon and tested the giant bed in the suite the very second they got there. They both knew the bed would be the main attraction on this vacation.

  They ordered room service, slept, ate, played in the private pool, and in between all of that, they did not take their hands, eyes and lips off of each oth
er.

  Tom decided, that it was time to teach Dan how to swim, and he was surprised by the speed with which Dan got the skills and behaved like a fish in water. But then Dan revealed to him the embarrassing truth. The truth was that Dan has always knew how to swim, but avoided it, just because he feared drowning and losing control. He had trouble explaining the anxiety’s origin. He was amazed to find out that now, in Tom’s presence, it was as if his anxiety never existed. This revelation for Dan was so new and exciting that it was hard to get him out of the pool. Tom was proud and happy to experience that with him.

  They decided together, that given the current development, the next step was going to be a short diving course. Tom loved diving and was excited for the opportunity to experience this in the Red Sea, and with Dan no less, and Dan was excited by the opportunity to stretch his boundaries a little further.

  The diving experience was thrilling and unforgettable for the both of them. They were wrapped in each other, in the deep blue of the Red Sea. The coral reefs and the colorful fish, made it seem like an alien world. Even time seemed altered under the water. The shared experience pleasured them and connected them to each other, and they felt as if they were the only two people in the world.

  Everything around them was nothing more than a background, meant to highlight their moments together, moments of falling in love, connecting and fusing of one soul into the other. Moments that would transform them from two separate individuals into the two parts that make a couple. Dan couldn’t stop hearing a quiet hum, that reminded him every once in a while, that after this vacation, Tom was going back to the army.

  The thought and the worry burdened him, and he tried to push the nagging thoughts away. But he knew that there are things that needed to happen here and now, and it couldn’t wait.