How Many Chances

by Beverley Hollowed

  Ally hugged Ella once more before she climbed out of the car and headed into the building, giving Ella one last wave before she disappeared in through the doors.

  She knew she still had to sort things out with Cole, but she promised Ella she would give him time and that was just what she intended to do. She knew she could do this for him. She could do this for them both.

  When she got up to her apartment she found Annette in Cole’s wardrobe packing their belongings. She explained Cole had asked her that morning to make sure they were packed and ready to leave once he got home.

  Despite Annette’s protests, Ally insisted on helping the girl pack and together they had it done it no time at all.

  When they were done, Annette asked Ally if she fancied some tea. Ally said yes but only if she would join her for a cup then explained she needed to make a couple of calls first.

  Ally made a quick call to both Hannah and Caitlin informing them both she was coming home that night and she would catch up with them for lunch the next day. Both wanted to hear all about the proposal and what the hell had happened with Sean Fitzmaurice. She promised she would tell them everything tomorrow before she hung up.

  She called up Nans phone number and stared at it for a few minutes before she closed up her phone and slid it back into her pocket. She couldn’t face talking to Nan just yet. Despite Cole’s insistence that Nan knew nothing, Ally still had her doubts. She would wait till she got home and talk to her face to face.

  She joined Annette in the kitchen and was greeted brightly by the girl when she spotted Ally walking into the kitchen. Both girls sat on the high stools at the breakfast counter and chatted happily as they drank tea and tucked into a plate of chocolate chip cookies.

  When Cole arrived home, he was surprised to see Ally and Annette sitting in the kitchen together laughing and chatting like old friends.

  He kissed Ally and smiled at Annette who stood up and returned to work the minute Cole walked in.

  Cole told her the flight was all booked and that they would be leaving in thirty minutes. Ally smiled at this information and was relieved she was finally going home. Although what waited for her when she got there she had no idea, but she knew it was something she was going to have to deal with. And it was probably better that she faced it sooner rather than later.

  Chapter 22

  Ally was relieved when the plane touched down in Dublin. The flight was rather bumpy and her stomach was still feeling a little delicate. Ally was happy to be back on hard ground.

  Cole had been quiet most of the flight too. He had been lost in his own world and Ally was afraid to ask him what was on his mind. So she just sat next to him quietly and concentrated on not been sick.

  It was half nine when they reached the house and Ally was looking forward to a long soak in the bath. When Liam pulled into the gravel driveway of the house, Cole turned to Ally and smiled.

  “Welcome home, gorgeous girl,” he said as he brushed back a loose strand of hair and caught it behind her ear. Ally smiled and leaned into his touch. She wanted her Cole back. She missed him. So she would take every tiny little bit of the Cole loved she got until he was ready to be himself again completely.

  Liam opened her car door and stepped back to let Ally have space to get out of the car. She unfastened her belt and stepped out of the car onto the gravel driveway.

  Cole who had climbed out behind her, took hold of her hand and led her towards the door. The night was cold and they both wanted to get into the warmth of their home.

  “Ally,” a voice called from behind them and they both stopped and turn in unison. Ally’s heart crashed into her chest when she saw Gus standing there looking at her with a look of fear on his face. He looked terrible. “Can we talk?”

  “I have nothing to say to you,” Ally snapped back at him and turned towards the door of the house and up the steps. She waited for the door to open. Why the hell didn’t she bring the keys with her Cole had insisted on giving her.

  “Ally, please,” Gus said taking a couple of tentative steps closer. “I want to explain. Well I want to try. I owe you that much.”

  Ally laughed out loud as she turn back to face Gus.

  “You owe me that much?” she said with a bitter edge in her voice as she walked back down the steps. Cole took hold of her hand but she pulled it free as she stepped closer to Gus. “You lied to me every day of my life. You watched me fall apart when my Mom died. You were there when my Dad walked out of my life and I was left alone.”

  “Ally, I am so sorry,” Gus replied stepping closer to her. He looked broken and defeated. He was struggling to keep himself together and Ally almost pitied him but she was too angry to back down. She wanted him to know exactly how she was feeling.

  “You watched me make one stupid mistake after another because I felt abandoned and didn’t know who I was or where I belonged,” Ally continued as her broken heart consumed her and she wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt her. “And the whole time you never said a thing. You just patted me on the back and sent me on my way, while you returned home to your perfect little family and your perfect little life. A family I would have done anything to belong to. And now you think you can explain. There is nothing you have to say that I want to hear.”

  “Ally just hear him out,” Cole said suddenly next to her and she spun around and pinned him with her eyes. “Don’t do something you are going to regret.”

  “NO!” Ally shouted. “He has had twenty four years to explain. But he didn’t care enough to do it before now. It’s too late. I don’t want to hear it.”

  “That’s not true,” Gus snapped back, the quiver in his voice betraying him and revealing just how upset he really was. “There hasn’t been one day I haven’t longed to tell you the truth. I came so close so many times. But I knew you would only hate me and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. So I took what I could get. I settled for just being part of your life. I wish I had done things differently but I was a coward.”

  Ally didn’t respond. She just stood and stared at him as she fought back the tears. She refused to cry. She was determined she would never cry over either of her fathers again. She had already wasted too many tears on assholes who just weren’t worth it.

  “Please Ally.” he begged stepping towards her. “You mean just as much to me as my other three girls. I wish now I had done things different. But I swear to god I never meant to hurt you. I love you too much. Please believe that if nothing else.”

  Ally stepped closer to him and stared him straight in the eyes but for a moment said nothing. Her heart was beating so loudly in her chest she was sure he could hear it too. She took a deep steadying breath before she spoke.

  “Go to hell,” she said in a strangely calm voice. “I am not going to ease your conscience and play happy families with you now. I don’t want anything from you. I never want to see you or hear from you again. From now on, my father is as dead to me as my mother is.”

  Then without saying another word she turned and was relieved to see Rosie standing at the door. She marched past Cole and up the steps and into the house.

  She didn’t slow down until she reached the stairs and she took them two at a time.

  “Cole,” Gus said as his heart shattered. “I swear to God, I never meant to hurt her. I never wanted to keep her a secret. But I was left with very little choice.”

  “Gus, she is just hurt,” Cole replied feeling sorry for this wreck of a man standing in front of him. He didn’t know why but for some reason he believed that he was genuine and had just handled a bad situation as best as he could. Yes he had made mistakes but Cole believed he had never set out to hurt Ally. “Let her calm down. This has been a huge shock to her. I promise I will talk to her. But you need to give her time and a little space.”

  “Thank you,” Gus said holding out his hand to Cole. Cole took his hand and shook it firmly. “I am glad she has you. Please take care of her for me. Tell her I’m sorry. “

&nb
sp; “I will, I promise,” Cole nodded. Gus turned and began to walk back down the driveway. But then he stopped and turned back to Cole.

  “Congratulations by the way,” he said with a sad smile. “I hope you are both very happy.”

  “Thanks you,” Cole replied gratefully then watched as Gus climbed into his car and drove away. Cole turned and walked up the steps and kissed Rosie on the cheek.

  “Welcome home, Mr Thomas,” she smiled at him sadly. ”How are you doing now?”

  She knew everything. She was the first person he thought of to call after he had left Steph’s the day before. He had cried like a baby down the phone to her as he sat in his car.

  She had been devastated for Cole but she didn’t lie. She told him, she thought he had a lucky escape and that now he could plan a future with Ally without the shadow of Steph hanging over them.

  “I feel numb,” he replied honestly. “Things are so messed up.”

  “That’s only to be expected,” Rosie sighed sadly. “Have you talked to Ally properly yet.”

  “No,” he admitted and cringed. He thought of how he had been so cold and dismissive to her that morning. She was trying to reach out to him but he just put up his defences. “She tried to talk to me this morning but I was cruel and I shot her down. Beside as you can see, she has enough to be dealing with without listening to my crap too.”

  “Cole that girl love you,” Rosie chastised him. “Yes she is dealing with some very hard things herself but she would want to be there for you. That’s what husbands and wives do. If you are going to marry this girl, you have to learn to trust her. Trust that she would never let you down. It’s not in her nature.”

  “I will,” he replied and kissed Rosie on the cheek one more time. “I should go find her and make sure she is okay.”

  He headed for the stairs and climbed them quickly. He made his way to his bedroom and paused briefly before he walked in, he had no idea what he would find inside.

  He tapped lightly on the door but got no response. He opened the door and stepped in and he was surprised to find the room empty. He was just about to turn and walk back out when he spotted the wardrobe door slightly ajar. He walked to the wardrobe and opened the door. He found Ally sitting in the corner, her legs drawn up to her and her face buried into her knees.

  He sighed as he walked in and sat down next to her on the floor. He wrapped his arm around her and drew her in closer to him. She lay her head on his shoulder.

  “You doing okay?” he asked as he rested his head against the top of hers. He knew it was a stupid question.

  “Not really.” Ally replied honestly.

  “Then talk to me,” Cole sighed.

  “What is there to talk about,” Ally shrugged. “I am not going to ease that liar’s conscience by playing happy families. There is nothing he has to say that I want to here.”

  “Ally, sweetheart,” Cole said turning and pressing his lips against her head. “I know you are angry, and you have every right to be. But for what it’s worth. I think he seems genuine.”

  Ally sighed but didn’t respond. She didn’t have the words to express how she was feeling. She just felt sad and tired.

  “Ally, I know you don’t feel like talking,” Cole said knowing exactly how that felt. “I am just asking you to think about it. Don’t close this door completely. Just listen to what he has to say.”

  Ally didn’t reply. Cole knew he couldn’t push her much harder tonight. She was upset and angry. So he let it drop but hoped maybe she would think about what he had just said.

  “Okay, Rosie has some dinner ready for us,” Cole said standing up and reaching his hand down for Ally to take it. When she did he pulled her up to her feet and immediately wrapped her in his arms. “You going to join me for dinner Ms Brody?”

  “Would be my pleasure, Mr Thomas” Ally replied and forced a smile on her face. She wasn’t feeling hungry either. She still felt a little unwell from their flight but he was trying and she knew she had to meet him half way.

  She followed Cole down to the kitchen where Rosie greeted her warmly and hugged her tightly.

  She sat down to dinner but she really couldn’t face eating so she just pushed her food around the plate as Cole talked about possible dates for their wedding.

  When they were finished, Ally told Cole she was going to call it a night. She felt exhausted.

  “I have one or two things I need to take care of in my office.” Cole said as he walked to the bottom of the stairs. “Then I will follow you up.”

  “Okay,” Ally smiled and kissed Cole softly before she turned to walk up the stairs but he held onto her hand and she stopped and turned back to Cole.

  “We are okay, right?” Cole asked looking at Ally anxiously. Ally walked back down the couple of steps and kissed Cole again.

  “Individually, no we’re not,” she said sadly. “We both have stuff to work through. But you and I, together we are good. And we can get each other through whatever life throws our way. I promise.”

  “I promise too,” he said kissing her once again. “I won’t be long.”

  “Good,” she smiled. “The bed if far too big and cold without you.”

  She turned and climbed the stairs and couldn’t help but smile to herself. Yes they had each their own internal battles going on but together they were strong. She did love him more than anything else in this world and there was nothing she would not do to make him happy.

  When she got changed and brushed her teeth, she climbed into bed. Her head barely hit the pillow and she was out cold. She was worn out.

  She dreamed of her father and Gus. Their faces each jumping into her mind.

  She dreamed of when she was a little girl on her swing in the garden of her parents’ house. She was about five. Gus had come by to visit and he was pushing her on the swing and she was giggling and laughing.

  Then her father arrived and he was angry. She could hear them arguing but she couldn’t hear what they were saying. Gus kept looking at her and smiling at her trying to reassure her it was okay but her father kept yelling. Ally started crying as her father shouted at Gus to get the hell out.

  Ally began to cry harder and call after Gus but her father grabbed her and pulled her back. She kicked and screamed to break free, she wanted Gus. Suddenly her father drew out and slapped her across the face and knocked her to the ground.

  “Daddy, No!” she cried out as she sprung up in the bed, wrapped in the darkness of Cole’s bedroom.

  Suddenly two strong hands pulled her close and Cole wrapped her in his arms and held her to him.

  “It’s okay, Ally,” he soothed her. Holding her close to him. “It’s just a bad dream. I have you gorgeous girl.”

  Ally buried her face into Cole chest and took deep steadying breaths. She drifted off back to sleep wrapped in his arms and his comforting scent. Feeling safe and secure in the arms of the man she loved.

  Chapter 23

  Ally found an empty table in the back of the pub where she had arranged to meet Hannah and Caitlin for lunch. She sat nervously waiting on her friends to arrive. She ordered herself a 7up while she was waiting and sat picking at a beer mat.

  The waitress had just returned with her drink when both Hannah and Caitlin arrived together. Each taking their turn to hug Ally tightly before the all took their seats. Ally ordered her two friends a drink.

  “Okay,” Caitlin said when the waitress left them alone. “First things first. Let’s see it.”

  Ally looked at her friend blankly for a moment not sure to what she was referring.

  “The ring, genius,” Caitlin pushed when she realised Ally didn’t know what she was talking about.

  Ally laughed and held out her left hand and was nearly deafened by Hannah and Caitlin’s screams.

  “Oh sweet baby Jesus,” Ally sighed and laughed at her two friends. “Calm down,”

  “OH MY GOD!” Hannah exclaimed. “Ally its perfect. Oh god it’s beautiful.”

  “Thank y
ou,” Ally replied and for the first time in a few days she felt genuinely happy. She looked at Caitlin and was surprised to see tears in her friend’s eyes. “Caitlin, you okay sweets.”

  “I am just so happy for you,” she sniffed. “And also so sad. This should be the happiest time of your life. The day every little girl dreams off. For her very own prince charming to come and sweep her off her feet. You should be so happy right now. But that asshole Sean Fitzmaurice had to ruin everything.”

  “I am okay, honestly” Ally lied, not wanted her friends to see how upset she truly was. “I mean I was upset, naturally. But he hasn’t been my father for a long time. So what am I really losing?”

  “What about Gus?” Hannah asked not sure she was doing the right thing or not by bringing him up.

  Sid, who Hannah was still seeing said Gus was devastated by what had happened. Sid told Hannah he was really worried about Gus. Hannah of course informed Ally of this too.

  Ally didn’t reply for a moment as her dream from the night before crashed into her head followed by her confrontation in front of Cole’s house. She was angrier with Gus than she had ever angry before. She wished she could hate him. But in her heart she couldn’t. He was Gus. And that’s what hurt her the most.

  “Ally,” Caitlin said reaching out and talking her hand, making her jump. “Sweetie, it’s okay. You really don’t have to talk about it.”

  “There is nothing to talk about,” Ally said as she blinked back the tears. “He lied to me. All this time he knew the truth. But he just didn’t love me enough to tell me.”

  “Honey, I know you are hurt,” Caitlin sighed. “And angry, which you have every right to be. But it’s Gus. He has always loved you. He was always the one there for you when you needed him. I know he didn’t tell you the truth, but he loved you Al, of that I am sure.”

  Ally brushed the tears from her eyes and smiled at her friends.

  “Well none of that matters now,” Ally said forcing herself to sound happier. “Because I have a wedding to plan and I am gonna need two bridesmaids. Any volunteers?”