Just Go

by Dauphin, M.

  He gets up and walks over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders and gently squeezing.

  “For you, baby doll.” He smiles and hugs me, tighter than he’s hugged ever before.

  He knows I know something’s up.

  “Right.” I pull away and look him in the eyes. “But what did my dad tell you to come down here and do?”

  He looks like he’s been caught, and his mouth falls open.

  “Annie, I’m… I’m not sure….”

  “Tell me, Joe,” I grind out. “Goddammit, Joe, I swear if this is all a scam over something. Another one of my father’s lies… that’s it, isn’t it? He’s…. Fucking Christ, Joe, just tell me!”

  He sighs and rakes his hands through his shaggy blonde hair.

  “Shit.” He shakes his head and walks to the couch. Pulling out his phone, he ignores my question and dials someone, holding the phone out in front of him on speakerphone. I cross my arms and wait to hear what I’ll never be able to un-hear.

  “Is it done?” my father’s voice comes over the phone.

  “I can’t, Vick,” Joe tells my father.

  My heart is racing and my mind is screaming at me that something’s terribly wrong. I stand in silence and listen to their conversation.

  “What do you mean ‘you can’t’?” my father growls. “I’ve had this deal with your father for years, Joseph!” his voice booms.

  Deal? Oh god, I’m getting dizzy.

  I walk over to the dining room table and sit, listening to their conversation, holding on to each word like it’s my last.

  “I know you two did, but I have a conscience, Vick. I can’t do this.” He sighs and I put my forehead on the cool table, trying to calm myself down before I go irate on both of them. What the hell is happening?

  “Listen here, Joe. I’ve kept your ass with this company all of these years because of this deal. You renege on this deal and you’re fired. Completely.” My father’s voice is like one I’ve never heard. Full of hatred.

  “Then I guess I’ll be starting over, Vick. I’m done. I’m cutting the deal.”

  “Your father would be very disappointed in you, Joe.”

  “Believe me, Vick, I already know that.”

  He hangs up the phone, and after a moment, I hear him get up and walk into the dining room.

  “So….” he says, sitting at the table. “There’s a little bit of a back story I guess you should know.”

  “You’re damn right about that, Joe. You’re going to tell me, then you’re getting the hell out of my life for good,” I grind out, trying to hold back all emotions. I’m sure I’m going to need them once he finishes his story.

  Then I’m going to have a nice talk with my father.

  Chapter 22

  Adam

  I’ve been staring at my computer screen for an hour but I honestly can’t remember what I’m supposed to be doing. Each day that passes is harder. Not having Annaliese in my life is ruining me, but she’s doing what she wants to do. She’s happy and safe.

  I had to let her go.

  I tell myself that about three times an hour, but it never makes me feel better. I was an idiot for letting her go. Hell, I practically pushed her out of my life. Why? Because I’m a pussy. Because I didn’t want to possibly get hurt. If I could take it all back now, I would.

  “Earth to Adam.” I hear Benton’s voice from the doorway and look up to see him leaning on the doorframe.

  “Oh, wow, sorry, man.” I run my hand over my face to try to get out of my funk and stand up. “You ready?” I ask grabbing my keys. Today we’re meeting with a new branch venture. B’s set all of it up, so all I know if that it’s potentially a good thing for the company. Hell, if it wasn’t for him, this company would’ve plummeted by now.

  “Yep. I’m driving.” He smiles and shakes his keys. “You’re just along for the ride with this one, dude.”

  “Fine.” I sigh, giving in much easier than I would have a few months ago. He knows how much I used to like control over all things. Now I’m just numb.

  The drive is short, and spent talking over the basics of the company. It’s an out of town company that’s trying to make it big in the bigger cities. They focus on independent bookstore owners and act as a PR agency for them. None of this interests me, and really bookstores are a thing of the past, so I’m not certain why Benton thinks investing in a company like this is a good idea, but he’s never steered me in the wrong direction before so I’ll trust him for now.

  By the time we get to our lunch meeting I’m starving and pay more attention to the menu than I do the poor people sitting nervously in front of me. One’s a girl, blonde, good tits, someone I would’ve fucked had I met her before Annaliese. Now I look at her and all I think about is how much better, how much sexier, my Annaliese is.

  Shit, Adam, stop thinking like that. She left. Get your dick back in the game!

  “Adam,” Benton clears his throat and looks at me expectantly.

  Crap, did they ask me a question?

  “Would you excuse us for a minute?” Benton smiles politely and pulls me from the table.

  “What?” I ask, smoothing down my suit jacket that he wrinkled from yanking me from the table.

  “Stop staring at her tits, Adam,” he growls. “You need to at least show interest in these people as a business, and not as someone you’d like to take back to your place.”

  “I know. Jesus….” I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to stop the headache that’s forming. “I don’t see a bookstore business bringing in any revenue, though, B. It’s all a joke to me. I’m not even certain why you brought me here,” I sigh and look over at the table. The girl is looking at me like she could devour me. A look that used to make me hard, now just makes me depressed.

  “Just play along, okay, man?” He starts back to the table and I follow, putting on my best game face.

  Benton leads the discussion, trying to rope me into their gig, but I’m just not feeling it. I’ve made it to the top of this city by knowing what’s good and what crap is. So far, all they are giving me is crap.

  “So, where did you guys start out?” Benton asks, taking a drink of his water.

  “Oh, we have our main hub in St. Louis.” The girl smiles and twirls her hair.

  Stop flirting with me.

  “St. Louis. Interesting.” Benton smiles at me and it all clicks. That motherfucker did this on purpose. “I’m sure if we were interested you two would be willing to spend a few days showing us how it all works, right? If we were to... say... come to St. Louis some time... soon?” He looks at me with his eyebrows raised and I shake my head at him.

  He knew exactly what he was doing.

  “Oh of course! We’d love it if you two would take a chance with our company. Having you down, seeing everything that we do first hand, would be fantastic.” The man says, clasping his hands together.

  Chance.

  There’s that word again.

  Annaliese took a chance on me, and I blew it. I think it’s time for me to take a chance for her.

  “You know what, I think that sounds like a fantastic idea, Benton.” I smile at him. A true smile, one I haven’t felt in months. “You need to set that up. How’s tomorrow sound?”

  “Oh, Mr. Callahan—”

  “If you are truly willing to be a part of this company, you will know that I expect excellence at all times. Short notice trips are exactly the way I run things,” I glare at the girl who’s stopped twirling her hair. Her mouth drops a bit and her eyes are wide with shock. “If it’s a good enough business, you don’t need any notice to fix things up before I see it, right?”

  From the looks on their faces, they weren’t expecting that, and from the look on Benton’s, neither was he. Honestly, I couldn’t care less if this company is running right or not. I’ll probably never put my money in them, as bookstores are a dying art, but it’s a reason to get me to St. Louis.

  It’s a reason for me to be close to her agai
n.

  My mind is running a thousand miles a minute and by the end of the meeting I can’t even remember what we talked about.

  All I can think about is what I’m going to say to her when I finally see her again.

  What I’m going to do to her when I finally touch her again.

  The thought of her having a boyfriend isn’t okay with me, so he’s out of the picture the minute I’m back in it. And tomorrow can’t come fast enough.

  ***

  The plane ride is the longest hour and half ever. We used the company jet, but it doesn’t fly any faster than commercial flights. Unfortunately, the entire flight Benton spends staring at me and smiling like a damn fool.

  “You know that look makes you look stupid,” I grumble trying to seem upset that he set me up for this.

  “I know your weakness, Adam. That girl is your life. You just needed to stop being so damn stubborn,” he says, smiling.

  “I’m not stubborn. And who says I’m doing this because of her?”

  “You are. I see it in your eyes. You don’t even care about this little company we’re supposed to be seeing, do you?”

  I look at him and shake my head.

  “Not a bit.” I smile. “You asshole.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  By the time we get into the car, it’s almost lunchtime and Benton smiles.

  “You know, I never thought I’d get you here.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “You let her go so stupidly, man. Because of what? I’m not certain I’ve ever grasped on to your stupid ass reasoning behind you forcing her out of your life.”

  Shit. I never told him I suspect her father in Carly’s death. I never told him because there’s no evidence behind my claims, but I know it had to be. He threatened too much for it not to be him. I’ve got people looking into it, but I’m certain nothing will ever come from it. He’s not a stupid man. He would have covered all of his tracks if it were him. The fact that every threat and all contact with him has stopped since that night pretty much sums up my claims. I don’t use him anymore as a chauffeur service, and from what I gather, the fights have stopped as well. I’m not certain what happened there, but I can’t help but think it has something to do with Annaliese.

  “She needs to be happy, Benton. Teaching is her passion, so I forced her to it.” I’ve been telling this lie to myself for months, but it feels so terrible that I’ll never believe it.

  “Can I let you in a little secret?” His eyebrows raise and I have a feeling I’m not going to like where this is going.

  “What’d you do?” I growl.

  “I may have visited her,” he says so matter-of-factly that it takes a minute to register what he did.

  “You did what?!” He saw her. He got to see my Annaliese without telling me. “What the hell, B?”

  “I came to see her. The night you kept Hannah, I drove down here. Alone.”

  “Why the fuck would you do that, Benton?” I growl, feeling like I’ve been played and not liking it.

  “You’re miserable, Adam. She’s miserable too, just so you know. Neither of you are doing yourselves any good by staying away from each other.”

  My God, he really did. He came down here.

  “How would you know she’s miserable, Benton?” I grind out the words, hating to hear that he thinks she’s not happy. I let her go because I knew she wanted to teach. Well, that and the fact that I was scared of something happening to her and me dying on the inside. I let her go because… I…. “Benton, she’s really miserable?” I ask, brows furrowed. “I thought this is what she wanted to do. I thought this was her life?”

  He shakes his head sadly and shrugs. “You two can’t live like this forever. Something has to change.”

  My head is spinning. There’s too much to focus on right now to make sense of any of it.

  All I know is that my Annaliese isn’t happy, and that needs to change.

  I know exactly the way to change it too.

  “Where is she?” I ask, feeling my heartbeat rise.

  “Work. Listen, there’s one more thing I need to tell you.” His face looks like he’s going to be in trouble for this one.

  “What?” I snap.

  “So, I went by her apartment….” he trails off and I look at him, waiting for him to finish the sentence. “She had that dude there.”

  “What dude?” I’m going to puke. I can’t live with the thought of her being with someone else.

  She loves me. Well, she loved me. Jesus Christ, what’ve I done? I forced the woman I love out of my life because I was a pansy. Fuck! And now she’s sleeping with someone else.

  “The one from the night after the fight. The one that I beat to shit. He answered the door in his boxers.”

  “Was she there too?” I growl, pissed that she let him into her bed that easily.

  “No, dude, she was at work."

  “Take me to her apartment,” I grind out and Benton smiles.

  “Already headed there, man,” he says and laughs.

  “What the hell, B?”

  “This was never a business trip, Adam. That was all a rouse to get you here,” he’s smiling like he just won a fucking marathon.

  Shit. I’ve been played.

  “You’re serious, aren’t you?” I whisper, amazed that he’d go through all of this for me. For Annaliese.

  “You two need each other, Adam. If I could do my life over again, knowing the outcome of everything, I wouldn’t change a thing. Even knowing I’d lose my wife too suddenly, I wouldn’t change it. She was my world and I wouldn’t be who I am right now without her. Why you’d give up on your world just because you’re afraid is beyond me, but here’s your chance to make things right.”

  He nods out the window and I’ve noticed the car’s stopped in front of a brick building.

  “It’s a lot nicer of a place than her old place. Shit down here’s cheaper than the city.” He smiles and shrugs.

  “How the hell… you know what, I don’t want to know,” I say, shaking my head.

  “Good luck, man.”

  I nod at him and get out of the car to be met with the cool breeze of a fall day in St. Louis. The city noises here are nothing compared to Chicago, but from what I hear, the crime rate has skyrocketed recently. Looking around her neighborhood, it looks nicer than where she was living in Chicago, but looks can be deceiving.

  I knock on the door, wondering what the hell I’m doing not having a key or anything, but when the older woman that opens the door smiles at me, I know it’s already been taken care of.

  “Mr. Callahan. So glad you could make it. I’ll take you up to her place. My name’s Rita, the landlord here,” she says sweetly, walking me up a flight of stairs. I’m either going to owe Benton a punch in the face or a new car after today.

  When she opens the door, I’m immediately hit with Annaliese’s scent.

  “She’s normally home around five,” she says then smiles sadly at me. “She’s a sweet girl. Sad, quiet… but sweet.” She pats me on my arm and leaves to go back downstairs, leaving me in Annaliese’s apartment.

  I have five hours to figure out how I’m going to apologize for being the biggest asshole on the planet.

  Chapter 23

  Annaliese

  “Oh, Annaliese, what a nice surprise!” My mother’s voice rings from the living room, but I barely register it through the hatred seething out of me towards the man that answered the door.

  The man that calls himself my father.

  “Hello, mother. I need to have a word with dad, if you don’t mind,” I say, not taking my eyes from his. The man should be scared, but he doesn’t look like he has a remorseful bone in his body.

  “Oh,” my mom whispers. “Yes, yes that’s fine.” She slowly walks out of the room, leaving me and Vick to hash this out together.

  “This is a surprise, Annaliese,” he says, sitting down in his worn brown leather chair. A chair I used to curl up with him a
t night when the nightmares got to be too bad to handle.

  “You knew it was coming, don’t act surprised.” I snap crossing my arms.

  “I wouldn’t have expected anything different,” he sighs.

  “Tell me why, Dad.” My words are forced, the emotions rolling through me are so hard to handle right now. I want to scream and hit things, but I need to try and stay calm.

  “Why what, dear?” he asks, raising his eyebrows. Condescending asshole.

  “Everything. Why the fighting, why’d you push me out of town with this job, and why Joe?” His name comes out a whisper at the end of a very hard to speak sentence. I feel terrible that Joe was caught up in the middle of my father’s drama. I feel guilty that I didn’t see through my dad’s lies earlier, before Joe fell for me. Most of all, I feel sick just thinking about my recently ruined relationship, all because of my father.

  “Annaliese, that deal with Joe’s father has been in the books since you were ten years old. I’ve been using his money all these years, all with the promise that you’d marry his only son. The Ryder and Hoertel names would be combined when you two married to create one of the most powerful families in the city. Moving you out of town seemed to be the only way to finish that deal once you started seeing Adam. Of course I didn’t want you with Callahan. He’s not worth your time, honey. Joe’s a much better candidate. You can do better than Mr. Chi—”

  “You stop,” I growl clenching my fists. “Adam is a better man than you’ll ever dream to be. He helps people every day. He makes sure his employees are well taken care of, and he doesn’t bend and manipulate people’s lives to how he thinks they should be living them. You’ve spent your last night dictating how I live my life,” I spit. He looks stunned that I’m speaking to him like this, but I’m finally letting it all out. “I’ve spent my entire life trying to be good enough for you, and you know what, dear old dad? I don’t care anymore! Nothing I do will make me good enough for you, and I just don’t care. It’s time for me to start living for myself, and not for some poor, pathetic asshole like yourself.” I’m seething, staring at his smug face and fighting the urge to punch him.

  “You could’ve married Joe. That would’ve been enough Annie.”