Conflicted (The Existing Series Book 2)

by Guilliams,A. M.

  We were seated quickly since there weren’t many people filling up the seats inside.

  The waitress came over and I ordered a beer, asking her if she wanted one in return.

  “Water for me thanks,” she said with a smile to the waitress. The waitress nodded her head and turned to leave, promising to be right out with our drinks.

  She picked up the menu, holding it in front of her face and it took everything out of me to not pull it down. Only that would be rude and my mamma didn’t raise me to be that way.

  “How has your week been?” I asked as I looked over the menu just to have something to do. I always ordered the same thing when I came here.

  Slowly, she brought down the menu and looked up at me.

  “Exhausting. Between the hour and a half round trip and getting used to the hours and the time change, my body doesn’t know which way is up. I get back to the inn at around seven every night, and I just collapse from exhaustion. Yours?” she said, looking back down at the menu.

  “Just busy at the shop. Trying to get renovation plans in place at the one I plan to open by the end of the year so that when I sign the lease I can start immediately. I’m growing impatient, but I knew this would be a lengthy process. And Grace keeps me on my toes. She’s growing more defiant and voicing her opinion more and more, which is extremely fun to watch,” I replied, the latter part of my response in a sarcastic tone.

  “Sounds like you’re just as busy as I am. I need to start looking for a place, but I can’t keep my eyes open long enough at night to eat, let alone get any searching done. I’m at an impasse it seems.”

  The waitress then returned with our drinks and the chips and sauce; one of the main reasons I love this place is their chips and white queso sauce. I nodded my thanks.

  “Are y’all ready to order?” she asked, looking back and forth between the two of us.

  I looked up at Delaney and she nodded her head, handing the menu over to the waitress. Surprisingly, we both ordered the burrito supreme dinner with rice and beans, and I smiled at how similar our tastes were.

  The waitress turned and left after she collected my menu, leaving us to continue our conversation.

  “I’m sorry you don’t have the time to look for a place. I can help if you’d like. I know the area very well and the people here, too. I’d just need to know what you’re looking for and the budget,” I offered.

  “That’s very kind of you. You always seem to be there when I need help the most, and I’m not sure that’s the best thing for me,” she said, taking a sip of her water and looking away from the table.

  “Why do you think that?”

  “Because I’m used to being on my own. Until Trenton came along, I had no one and I was content with that. Hell, for most of our relationship he was overseas, again leaving me alone. But he swindled his way in against my better judgment. When he came home, there wasn’t a time we weren’t together. So much so that we moved into an apartment closer to his base when he came home. Luckily, I had an understanding landlord because we hadn’t been in our lease long. I found someone to take it over and didn’t have to pay the ridiculous amount to get out of the lease. But my point here is, when he died, I was left all alone again. He’d been in my life long enough that I started to depend on him, gotten used to him being there at every turn for the short time he was back. And now there’s you. Always there and willing to help me. Hell, you picked up a woman you barely knew, took her back to your house, and comforted her for days all because she was with your best friend. And when I came back you helped me through yet another nightmare. Now you’re offering to help me again. I can’t come to depend on yet another person for them to just leave me again. It was hard when my parents’ left, even harder when Trenton died. But with you. I know you’ll be my ruin if you up and leave when it becomes too much. I’m all over the place right now. Emotionally, physically, financially. It’s just too freaking much,” she rambled, and I let her. She needed to vent. Get it all out. Then, and only then would I try to put her fears to rest. Some of which were fears of my own.

  “I just don’t know where to go from here. I moved out here on a whim because I needed to be close to his final resting place. But I don’t know where I’m at. You’re the only person I know here, aside from his parents and yours. And I feel like I’m burdening you with all of my problems, when you have problems of your own. And plans that I’m hindering because I’m always around,” she said, finally stopping her rant enough to catch her breath.

  We both took sips from our drinks, me needing the beer to give me courage for what I was about to say, hoping that she wouldn’t run for the hills at my idea.

  I reached across the table and grabbed her hand, resting it within my own and caressing the top with my thumb. Hoping to soothe her. Looking into her eyes, I took a deep breath and hoped like hell she’d listen to what I had to say and hear me.

  “You’re not a burden. I wouldn’t have let you into mine and my daughter’s life if I felt that way. I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. I know that losing Trenton has been hard on you. I can still see the pain in your eyes as much as you have tried to mask it. Only you don’t have to do that. Not around me. Never around me. You need to remember that I lost him too. I know exactly what you’re going through. The amount of pain you’re feeling; I’m feeling it too. But we can help each other through it. Grow from the pain and move past it. Together. There’s nothing wrong with leaning on people. I told you I’d help you because I don’t mind doing it. He was more than my friend. He was another brother to me and you meant something to him, meaning I’ll be there for you as long as you allow me to. And it’s no burden at all. Now will you please stop worrying and just let me help you?” I never once let my gaze leave hers, my thumb never stopping the soft caress.

  “I just don’t understand why. What’s in it for you to help me? I don’t take help very easily, especially from strangers.”

  “Can you consider me a stranger, though? I’ve held you while you had a nightmare and you’ve stayed at mine and my parents’ places. We might not know each other very well, but we aren’t strangers. Not by a long shot. Speaking of your nightmares, have you had them as much?” I asked, hoping she’d say no. I don’t know if I could take not being able to help her through them.

  “They haven’t gone away. If anything, they’ve gotten worse. Hence, part of the reason I’m so exhausted. I don’t wake up from them, but when I wake up in the morning, I could tell it had been a restless night from the way I feel and how the covers look. It’s hard, but I’ll get through it.” A look of sorrow crossed her features and I wished she would’ve just taken me up on my offer to stay at my place so I could help her through them. Stubborn ass woman.

  Before I could speak my opinion on her comment, the waitress showed up with our food.

  “Do y’all need anything else?” she asked with a smile after sitting the plates in front of each of us.

  “Not at the moment. Thank you though,” Delaney replied as she unrolled her silverware.

  The waitress turned and left, leaving us to finish our conversation and enjoy our meal.

  Instead of continuing with the heaviness that this dinner started with, I asked her about work, something she seemed so passionate about. Just the mere mention of the topic, her eyes brightened and she sat up straighter.

  We both talked about our passions and our dreams. I learned that she’d always wanted to be a nurse. When I asked her why not a doctor, she told me she just felt nursing was more intimate and that it was hard to find a nurse who showed enough compassion, at least in her experiences. And I admitted that even though being a mechanic wasn’t my number one dream, that it did, in fact, suit me and I loved the complexity of figuring out what was wrong with a vehicle and putting it back together again once it was fixed.

  Time flew by as we went back and forth getting to know each other a little better. She went to excuse herself and slid out of the booth, only to fall back against the t
able once she stood.

  I was by her side in a second, holding her up as she held her head down trying to work through whatever happened to cause her to stumble.

  “That’s the second time you’ve done that tonight. Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked, the concern laced in my voice as I stared at her, looking for any signs that she wasn’t okay.

  She shook her head and looked up at me, giving me a faint smile.

  “I just stood up too quickly. I’m going to the restroom. I’ll be back in just a moment,” she said, then walked away from me.

  I signaled to the waitress that I was ready for the check. She brought it over, and I glanced down at the total and pulled the right amount of bills out of my wallet, making sure to leave enough for a generous tip.

  When she took the payment away from me and walked away, I put my elbows on the table and rested my head in my hands. Worry seeped through me for fear that there was more to it than exhaustion and hoping she wouldn’t lie to me about what was going on.

  A hand on my shoulder brought me out of my thoughts, and I looked up to find her looking no better than she had before she left. She looked pale and there was more tiredness in her eyes.

  I stood up and allowed her to walk in front of me, resting my hand on the small of her back as we made our way out of the restaurant. I led her over to the passenger side of the truck and opened the door for her so she could get inside. Only when she reached up for the handle and put one foot up on the side rail, her steps faltered and she fell back against my chest. Her head went to the side, and I positioned her so I could lift her in my arms. When I looked down at her, her eyes were shut and her breathing had grown shallow.

  Closing the door, I walked around to the driver’s side of the truck and put her in the back seat. I didn’t care if she protested. I was taking her to see a doctor because there was something more than exhaustion going on. She could be pissed at me all she wanted when she woke up. I had told Trenton I’d take care of her, and that’s just what I was going to do. Only it wasn’t just the promise to him that I was upholding. It was the feelings that I knew were growing for her, but I didn’t quite want to accept.

  Luckily there was an urgent care facility not too far away. Every twenty or so seconds, I’d look behind me just to make sure she was still breathing and to see if she’d woken. Her chest rose and fell with each inhale and exhale, but her eyes remained closed.

  Minutes later, I barreled into the parking lot faster than I should’ve and parked the truck. Not caring if I was parked correctly. Hurriedly, I got out of the truck and opened the back door, picking up a still unconscious Delaney. I pushed the door shut with my shoulder and rushed to the doors of the facility. I walked inside and up to the counter frantic with worry that she still hadn’t come to.

  “How may I help you, sir?” the lady behind the desk asked.

  “We were leaving dinner and she just collapsed. She’s been out for about ten minutes,” I exclaimed, my gaze going back and forth between the lady and Delaney.

  “Let’s get her in a room and get her checked out. Do you know anything about her medical history?” the woman asked as she grabbed the clipboard.

  “No, we haven’t known each other very long. None of that had come up in conversation yet,” I exclaimed as we walked through a secured door and down a hall lined with rooms. When we’d gotten to the back corner, the lady opened a curtain and walked inside with me hot on her heels.

  “You can lay her down here. I’ll get the nurse in here to get her vitals and the doctor will be in shortly after that.”

  Carefully, I laid her down on the bed, brushing the hair off her face that had fallen out of her ponytail and began to cover her eyes.

  Glancing around the room, I found a chair and moved it beside the bed. I sat down and grabbed her hand within my own, bringing it up to my lips, not willing to let go until I’d gotten some answers and found out whether she’d be okay.

  The nurse came in and checked her temperature and blood pressure, and asked me again if I could tell them what had led to her losing consciousness. Only I had to tell her that I knew nothing, which made me feel horrible. I’d give anything to know the answers.

  The doctor came in and asked if she’d ingested anything that she could’ve possibly been allergic to or any medications that she’d been taking. Again, I knew nothing so I just looked down and shook my head, feeling guiltier than I should’ve. All I could respond with was that she’d gotten dizzy twice that night, but she’d said it was because she was tired and stood too quickly.

  “Could she be pregnant?” the doctor asked as he looked up from the chart.

  “I’m not sure,” I replied, looking down at her, hoping to hide my shock.

  Again we were left alone after the doctor made notes and told me that he was going to order some blood work. He told me that a nurse would be in to draw it momentarily and hopefully we’d have some answers soon.

  I sat there thinking about how little we knew about each other when Trenton’s joke from the night of the accident entered my mind. How he swore that his “little swimmers” had gotten her pregnant. I shook my head at the thought and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

  “Delaney, you need to wake up so we can find out what’s wrong with you and get you better,” I whispered against her hand that was now in between each of mine.

  I rested my head on our hands and prayed to God, something I rarely ever did, that she’d be okay. That whatever was wrong with her could be fixed and we could get back to our lives.

  Her legs stirred causing me to instantly lift my head and look over to her face, which was now turned toward me. Her eyes were open, confusion laced all over her face.

  “Where am I, Weston?” she said with worry in her voice.

  “You collapsed outside of the restaurant and wouldn’t wake up. I brought you to the urgent care facility so we could find out what’s wrong,” I exclaimed. When she tried to move her hand away, I refused to let go. Needed to touch her in some way to comfort me in hopes that it brought her some comfort as well. Words couldn’t describe how I felt when she just fell back against me.

  “There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m just tired. We don’t need to be here,” she said as she tried to get out of the bed. Only I still had her hand and refused to let go.

  “Let go, Weston. We don’t need to be here,” she demanded as she tried to pull her hand from my grasp.

  “Yes we do. There’s something wrong with you, and we’re not leaving until we find out what that something is,” I said, pulling on her hand to get her to sit back down on the bed. She flopped down with a huff and attempted, but failed, to get her hand out of my hold.

  She breathed deeply letting her frustration be known, refusing to look at me. Instead, she stared ahead at the curtain.

  “The doctor asked me something before he left to order some blood work, Delaney,” I said to gain her attention. Only she refused to look at me.

  “Could you be pregnant?” I asked, and her head snapped up as her eyes grew wide.

  “Why would you ask me that?” she said through gritted teeth, her breaths growing more rapid by the second.

  “Because I was asked that and obviously don’t know the answer,” I replied, rubbing my thumb back and forth on her hand.

  Before she could reply, the nurse came in to draw her blood, to which she reluctantly complied to.

  “Now that you’re awake, I need to get some information from you,” the nurse said as she pulled a portable computer over to her.

  She asked questions regarding her medical history and when her last period was, only Delaney couldn’t remember, which I found odd. She said it was on her phone in her purse, but I’d left that in the truck because I was in such a hurry to have her seen.

  The nurse concluded her questions, and Delaney asked if I could go get her purse so she could provide her insurance information and pay for the deductible.

  I leaned down and kissed her forehead, promi
sing her that it was all going to be okay before I walked out to get her belongings.

  After turning down the wrong hall, I finally found the exit and walked over to my truck. I opened the door and found her purse which had fallen in the floor, and carefully grabbed it so that nothing would fall out. I shut and locked the doors and leaned up against the truck. This whole night had been awkward. Everything seemed so easy when we were in the comfort of my home, but now, alone with her, out in public it all seemed complicated. More so than I’d imagined it would be. I took a few moments to gather my thoughts then walked back into the hospital. There wasn’t anyone at the desk when I returned, which meant that I’d have to wait to be buzzed back to Delaney.

  What felt like forever, someone finally appeared, letting me back once they confirmed who I was there to see. The lady on the other side of the door led me back to the room where I’d brought Delaney. The curtain was shut, something I’d forgotten to do when I left. Cautiously, I opened the curtain to find Delaney bawling on the bed, her head in her hands.

  I rushed over to her side, tossing the purse on the chair that I’d sat in and sat down on the bed beside her. I pulled her into my arms, wanting to know what the hell had happened between the time I’d left to now, but knowing she needed to calm down before I’d be able to understand a word that came out of her mouth.

  Moments later, she pulled back and turned her head to the side in search of something. She found the box of tissues on the table beside the bed, pulling a few out of the box. After she had composed herself, she looked back over to me, tears still waiting to fall against the brim of her eyelids.

  “What happened?” I asked, reaching for her hand which she let me take.

  “I’m just scared to find out. I’ve ignored everything for weeks because I didn’t want to be disappointed, and now I’m moments away from finding out the truth. It’s just scary.”