Reckless (Finding Ava)

by Jennifer Loren

  “Like I was saying, I really need to talk to you both about last night.” I watch both of their clueless faces stare at me. “Anyway, Lillah will be back here and she is only two. We would like you guys to keep your …” How the hell to say this? “Your escapades hidden behind closed doors, if you would?” I tried to explain.

  Joel seems to understand perfectly, “Oh, Sean, I am so sorry. We were both so drunk and not thinking at all. I am really sorry.”

  “Not a big deal, but I wanted to make sure you are more careful when Lillah is around.”

  “Absolutely. This is your house and we should have never disrespected you or Ava like that. Is she angry?” Joel asked.

  “No, she’s not. We both actually thought it was kind of funny.”

  “Funny?” Rebecca exclaimed loudly.

  “No. I mean, we were surprised and drunk ourselves …” I tried to explain before Joel puts his hand up.

  “We understand Sean, don’t worry about it. And rest assured, it won’t happen again. We promise.” He looks over at Rebecca and then back at me, emphasizing his point.

  I nod, feeling a lot better, “Great, then we will see you for dinner tonight?”

  “Sure, looking forward to it.” Joel smiled.

  I walk back out the door as fast as I can and almost make it to the car before Rebecca stops me, striking her usual come-hither pose. “What?” I ask her with a sigh.

  “Where are you going?” She asks, touching my arm and twirling her tongue.

  “I told you I’m going to get Lillah and the dogs.”

  “Can I go with you?”

  “Rebecca, I’m not going anywhere exciting and I have to meet with Ethan. Trust me, you won’t have any fun or interest in coming with me.”

  “But it’s boring with nobody here.” She pouts, and I huff at her while motioning towards the guesthouse. “Joel is working, so I will be sitting here all day by myself. I would much rather go out with you than sit around here by myself.” She pouts profusely, sticking her bottom lip out and putting her hands in her back pockets of her skintight pants.

  Rubbing my face, I swear silently, “Fine, get in. But no complaining.” I emphasize until she nods. She jumps for joy and runs to the other side of the car. I know I am going to regret this, I just know it.

  “Why can’t we take that car?” Rebecca asks pointing to Ava’s car.

  “Because that is a wedding present I got for Ava. It is a special occasion car for her only.”

  “So, does that mean you can’t drive it?”

  “No, but it’s a little difficult to get a car seat and two full grown dogs into an Aston Martin, Rebecca.”

  “So why did you get her that car? Is that her favorite or something?”

  “Kind of.”

  “Kind of? What’s that mean?”

  I sigh loudly. “Because I have the same car, so it reminds her of me. We enjoy riding together.”

  “Oh. So how is your brother?”

  “Good. He and Abbey just had their second child a few months ago.” I said, trying to make a long conversation as short as possible.

  “Abbey? His wife?”

  I look over at her, forgetting that she probably wouldn’t know that. She has not seen Ethan since we were dating, and only briefly then. I am not even sure Ethan would remember her. “Yes, Abbey is his wife. They were married a couple of years after …” I glance over at her.

  “After we broke up?” She said with a disgruntled tone.

  “Yes.”

  “Well that’s nice, I’m happy for him.”

  “Wonderful,” I said, exasperated.

  “And I’m happy for you too, Sean.”

  “Great.”

  “So are you excited about the role you will be playing?”

  “Sure.”

  “It will be great working with you again.” She smiles, patting my hand.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “So do you like Atlanta?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “Even better than LA?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “Sean!” Rebecca screamed.

  I jump, staring daggers at her, “Don’t fucking do that!” I yelled.

  “Well you’re not listening to me,” she pouted.

  “You know I don’t like fucking chit-chatting Rebecca,” I said, watching her cross her arms and proceed into full pout mode.

  Damn! I should have said no and drove off as quickly as possible, my own damn fault she is here. “Fine, what do you want to talk about?” I smiled sarcastically at her. She ignored the sarcasm and goes right back into her questions. I can’t drive fast enough. I pull into Ethan’s, grateful for the interruption… at least until I see my mother’s car. “Rebecca, my mother’s here. You might want to sit in the car and wait. I promise, I won’t be too long.”

  “Why do I have to sit in the car?”

  “Seriously?” I ask her, shocked that she would ask such a stupid question. “If you recall, you and my mother don’t get a long too well.”

  “Oh. That was a long time ago, I am sure we both have matured since then,” she said, jumping out of the car and waiting impatiently for me to lead her in.

  Please Dear God, let me get through this. I enter Ethan’s house as if it is my own and find Lillah in the floor playing with Collin. I sneak up behind her, putting one foot on either side of her and staying silent until she notices me. She looks down at my shoes, grabbing one and instantly throwing her hands up to reach for me.

  “Daddy!” Picking her up, I kiss her energetically on her neck until she is laughing uncontrollably. After I sit her back down I find Collin, giggling already, as he scoots away from me and holding his chin as close to his chest as he can.

  “And where do you think you’re going?” I grab him and throw him over my shoulder, turning him upside down and kissing his belly until he can’t take any more. I sit him back down to pick up Lillah who is determined to be the only one getting my attention. Abbey and my mother sit watching the giggle fest with great enthusiasm.

  “Hello Sean,” Abbey said, smiling as she folds some clothes.

  “Abbey, you look beautiful as always,” I said kissing her on the cheek. “You too mother,” I said, kissing her cheek with a cocky smile.

  “You better not forget me,” my mother stressed with a smile.

  “And what about me?” I look up to the second floor, spotting Ethan blowing kisses at me.

  “Oh, I’m coming for you next sweetness.”

  “Make sure to use tongue, you know how I like it,” he laughed.

  “Ethan!” Abbey yells at him with a dirty look.

  “Don’t worry Abbey, I’ll take care of your husband,” I give Ethan a wicked grin.

  “Sean Grant, don’t make me call your wife,” Abbey said, glancing at me out of the corner of her eyes.

  “Abbey, I thought you liked me?” I whined.

  “I do like you, but I have enough little boys to take care of around here.” Abbey said as I look up at Ethan and smile.

  “I heard that,” Ethan yelled as he walks down to us.

  I turn to him quickly to fend off any possible attack coming my way only to see his mouth drop open. “Rebecca?” Ethan said quietly.

  “Hello Ethan,” Rebecca said with a perfect smile taking over her face.

  My mother instantly glares at me. “Rebecca you remember my mother, Mary?” I said pleading for peaceful actions.

  “Yes, how are you?” Rebecca said unafraid.

  “Very well, thank you. And you?” My mother said, nodding stiffly towards her.

  “Great, thank you.” Rebecca said happily.

  “And this is Abbey, Ethan’s wife,” I said, moving away from my mother’s reach.

  “Nice to meet you” Abbey said, holding out her hand to greet Rebecca, unaware of the history.

  “Nice to meet you as well,” Rebecca replied as she shakes her hand.

  “Please, have a seat.” Abbey motions for her to sit across from them. Rebecca
sits down, seemingly unaware of the uncomfortable air in the room.

  “Okay I’m going to be only a few minutes, then we can go.” I said, waiting for Rebecca’s half nod. I try to avoid my mother but she has a way of drawing me in, but her glare nearly ignites me before I am able to look away from her. I follow Ethan up to his office and try not to think about the conversation that might be going on downstairs, only to realize Ethan is staring at me silently. “What?”

  “What!” I move back in my chair shocked by his anger. “Sean, how could you bring … that woman into my house?”

  “Whoa, calm down. I didn’t realize it would be that big of a deal Ethan.”

  “Well, it is.”

  “Okay, so now I know. Do you mind telling me why it is?” I ask, sitting back slowly in my seat.

  “I don’t like her and I never did. Why are you with her?”

  “She and Joel are staying in our guesthouse,” I said calmly

  “You aren’t serious?” Ethan said, slamming his fists on his desk.

  “Ethan they don’t have enough money to pay for a second place here. You should have seen where they are living in New York.”

  “I don’t care. You shouldn’t bring her into your home. I can’t believe Ava is okay with this.”

  “She wasn’t real happy about it, but she saw how they lived and agreed for during the shooting of the film they could stay with us. Then they can go back to New York with a little more money in their pockets and hopefully a lot better off.”

  Ethan sits shaking his head at me and sighing, “This is going to end badly Sean, real bad if you’re not careful.”

  “I will be careful Ethan, don’t worry. The next few months will fly by.”

  “I hope so.”

  We sit in silence for a few minutes until he finally moves on to more important issues. When we are done, I walk back downstairs alone and to an uncomfortable silence. Damn this day. My mother meets my eyes and moves quickly to head me off. “Oh shit.” I said under my breath.

  “Sean, can I speak to you for a minute?” My mother asked as she walks into the other room, waiting for me.

  “I guess,” I mumbled as I follow after her.

  “Well?” She said with her arms crossed and her foot tapping in front of me. I have not seen this stance in a long while.

  I rub my face. “She and Joel are only staying with us until shooting is over and then they are going right back to New York. She wanted to get out of the house for a little while today, so she begged to come with me and I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal… but I am really regretting that decision.” I rambled.

  “I hope you are regretting it. You keep your distance from that … “ She tensed, shaking her head before looking at me again. “Sean, be careful.” I nod, defeated. Once she seems somewhat satisfied, I sprint away and quickly gather my daughter before ushering Rebecca out the door. I could swear I am forgetting something.

  “Daddy where the boys?”Lillah shrugs at me as if I am an idiot.

  I kiss Lillah on the head, “Thanks sweetie.” I run back into grab the boys and load them into the back of the SUV before speeding off towards home, relief washing over me instantly.

  “Oh Sean, could you stop at that store real quick?” Rebecca asked, pointing to the convenient mart on the corner.

  “Why?”

  “Because I need to get a few things.” Irritated I pull over and motion for her to go. “Thank you,” she said happily.

  “No problem,” I sighed.

  I look at my watch, then toward the doors of the store willing Rebecca to hurry the hell up. When I hear a rumbling vibration, I take out my phone but quickly realize it isn’t mine. Surely Ava didn’t leave hers in the car. I reach down under the passenger seat and pull out a phone, but it isn’t Ava’s. I start to put it back when I take notice of the incoming text and recognize the name immediately. A slimy reporter that loves to capitalize on celebrity mishaps and tragedies or anything he can get his hands on to exploit them. I hesitate for a second before pushing the button to read the text.

  “I would be very interested in a video of Sean Grant and his wife. The clearer the more money I would be willing to pay. Call me as soon as you can and we can meet up to review the video and discuss.”

  My body tenses and I start to shake. “Rebecca…” I seethe, while searching her phone for videos. When I come to one labeled Sean and Ava, I shake my head, hesitating to view it. I glance back at Lillah playing quietly in her car seat and push play. As soon as I see Ava naked and riding me, I am ready to choke the hell out of somebody. I knew I saw somebody last night. That bitch, that fucking bitch! And she was going to fucking sell it! I clear her entire phone before taking out the memory card and sticking it in Rebecca’s diet soda and then driving over her phone several times. I recover the mangled mess and lay it in the passenger seat beside me, breathing deeply as I glance at my daughter’s innocent face in the rearview mirror. Rebecca skips out of the store while I hold tight to the steering wheel, denying myself the pleasure of running over her with the car. She opens the door, spotting her mangled phone right away.“You got a text while you were gone. I guess you are going to get a great offer on your video,” I fist the steering wheel as she eases into the seat next to me, leaning against her door as much she can. She starts to open her mouth. “We’ll talk about it after I get Lillah home.” I said through my teeth.

  “But...” Rebecca tries to say.

  “I said, not now.” She turns away from me, sitting in silence the whole way home. I park the car and let the boys out before getting Lillah out of her seat and taking her inside. Rebecca foolishly follows. I ask our housekeeper to watch Lillah for a few minutes and I kiss my daughter, reminding myself that jail will be a bad thing for her to visit me in. I leave her room, forcing my footsteps to remain calm. Grabbing Rebecca harshly by the arm, I drag her to the other end of the house and shut the door. I look at Rebecca as she rubs her arm pitifully. “Talk, Rebecca. Talk before I call the police and have you arrested!” Her eyes focus on me in shock. I cringe. “Rebecca!”

  “Okay, yes. I watched you two last night and then I got the idea to record it. I don’t know why at first. Curiosity I suppose, and a little drunk too.” She said as tears start flowing out of her eyes.

  “Why?” I asked, shaking my hands in front of her.

  “Why?”

  “Why would you do that?” I yell. “Why would you sell it?”

  She cowers from me, “I haven’t yet.”

  “Yet?” I yelled.

  “I mean, yes, I was thinking about it, it’s a lot of money Sean.”

  “That’s why? For the money?”

  She sighs, “No, not really.”

  “Then why?”

  “Umm ... I guess I wanted to get even with you,” she looks up at me sorrowfully and I roll my eyes.

  “Why, Rebecca?”

  “You left!”

  “You cheated on me. Or don’t you remember fucking my best friend in our bed?” I said sarcastically as my voice grows louder.

  “I know that, and that’s not when I meant. I meant when you left to go to California to do that movie. You left me in New York, all alone.”

  I narrow my eyes at her, “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re mad at me for going to work ... years ago?”

  “You rarely called me and I really needed you then.”

  “Rebecca this is … I don’t know what. Childish and stupid. You seriously need to grow the fuck up.”

  “Grow up?” She yelled back at me.

  I get right back in her face. “Yes. You act like a fucking child all the time with your temper tantrums. I was sick of it then and I am not about to put up with it now.”

  “Maybe I wouldn’t have been so upset all the time if I hadn’t been pregnant with your child!” She yells in my face. “If I hadn’t had to abort your child by myself!” I step away from her in shock.

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” I said, starring into
her lying face.

  She calms some and digs into her purse, pulling out a folded up piece of paper. “This is what I am talking about,” she said, handing it to me.

  I read the clinics name and then Rebecca’s name, stating who the patient was getting the abortion and the time and date of the abortion. Then off to one side, was marked if known, who is the father, and there it said … Grant. I look up at her, “This was while I was in California, Rebecca.”

  “I know, I wanted to tell you before you left but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to ruin your opportunity by making you stay to help me.” She starts crying, as I stand dumbfounded. “I was all alone and felt horrible all the time and so completely lost and I needed you. For you to tell me it was going to be okay.” She looks up at me, crying hysterically. “The worst part …” she drops into a chair doubling over. “The worst part is the abortion was botched somehow, so now I will I never get a chance to get pregnant again.” She cries even harder and I stare at her horrified.

  “Rebecca…” I stumble, searching for words.

  “I’m sorry Sean. I saw you two so happy and I hated you in that instance. I hated you for making me go through that on my own and I blamed you for taking something from me that I can never get back.”

  “You didn’t say anything Rebecca, how was I supposed to know?”

  “You weren’t listening to me anyway, remember?”

  “Probably not, but I would have listened to that, I’m sure.”

  “I wasn’t even sure if you were coming back.”

  I pace the room searching, for what I am not sure.

  “I am sorry Sean and if it helps any, I would have never actually gone through with selling it. I never made the copy I was asked to do and I only contacted the one guy and that was last night when I was still drunk. By this morning, I was regretting it all. Can you forgive me?”

  I look at her tearful eyes and seemingly sincere, apologetic face feeling guilt like I have never felt before.

  Chapter 7

  Ava

  The house is silent. Peaceful, when I arrive late from work. I shouldn’t be surprised, but it is still unsettling. With a deep breath, I cautiously walk through the house practicing my innocent expression. I finally find Sean lying in our bed and looking suspicious himself, relieving me of my guarded composure. “You look as if something is on your mind.”