Thirty-Eight Reasons

by Len Webster

  Wrapping her arms around his neck, she answered, “Two weeks.”

  “Why just two weeks?” he asked sadly.

  “I have my culinary school graduation. I finished my apprenticeship last week. I needed to complete two hundred and forty hours of kitchen work at a restaurant. That's what I've been up to while I waited for you,” she replied. The idea that they’d have to have a long distance relationship made her heart sink. But it was more than she ever thought possible and accepted the idea with a smile.

  “I’m so damn proud of you,” Noel said as he placed his hands on her hips. He bent down so that his lips almost touched her right ear.

  “Question twelve,” his whispered. “Can I come back to Melbourne with you?” His hot breath touched her skin and her breathing heaved. Noel placed a kiss on her cheek before he looked at her.

  “You want to come back to Melbourne?”

  “My girlfriend’s graduating from culinary school, like I’d miss it! Plus I have a lot of my annual left.”

  Just the words ‘my girlfriend’ had Clara in tears.

  Noel brought her face closer to his, but the moment was lost when they heard the sound of a throat clearing. He let out a groan that she internally mirrored.

  “Way to hog Clara all night. We get it! You’re back together. Now you go sit and talk to Max because that man is dying of guilt, while I dance with the hottest thing that has ever kissed you!”

  Clara blushed before she let out a laugh.

  Letting her go, Noel placed a kiss on her cheek and smiled before he placed her hands in Julian’s.

  “Not too close now, Julian,” Noel warned before leaving them on the dance floor.

  “You’ve got him already protective over you.” Julian laughed and placed his palm just above her hip.

  “He’s being an idiot,” she said, shaking her head.

  “No, he’s in love with you. I wasn’t lying when I said you were the hottest thing he’s kissed.” Julian winked.

  Clara snorted at him. “You’ve seen Andrea and Valerie, right?”

  Julian glared at her. “I’ve seen them both. They hold no candle to you, Clara. To me, you're beautiful in ‘you're practically my little sister’ way. But to Noel, you are beyond words. You don’t ever need to be worried about any other woman. He’s too in love with you to see anyone else. He’s lost you too many times to risk losing you again. I’m glad you found your way back to him.”

  Squeezing his hand, she looked up at Julian and smiled thankfully for his influence in her choice. “I only found my way back to him because of you. I couldn’t survive a life without Noel. Liam was only holding me up for air for a short amount of time that if you took him away, I wasn’t breathing anymore. You steered me in the right direction.”

  “Are you happy, Clara?” His question had her stopping their dance.

  Looking around the room, she saw her brother and her sister-in-law-to-be dancing, she saw Noel talking to Rob and Max, and in front of her was one of her oldest friends. Back home, Annie and Jarred were happily married, Stevie was still Stevie, Josie was still at the bakery and Ally still claimed Clara as her sister.

  Smiling, she knew the answer. “I’ve never been more happier with my life than right now.”

  Julian wrapped his arms around her waist and held her up in the air.

  “Julian!” she shrieked.

  When he put her down and they both stopped their laughter, Julian beamed at her. “You’ve finally got your happily ever after, Clara. This one’s yours to keep.”

  “And how about you?” Clara asked once she controlled her laughter.

  Julian pursed his lips and raised his eyebrow. “What about me?”

  “Still not over for you?”

  “She’s somewhere in this world and if you and Noel are anything to go by, maybe I might find her someday. I’m not a man that believes in miracles, but until I see her I won’t start believing. Plus it’s fun being single. I’ve had Italian models throwing themselves at me. When is that not ever fun?” He let out an unconvincing laugh that Clara didn’t buy.

  As if he sensed her doubts, Julian winked at her and said, “Prison guard’s on his way. I better leave you alone tonight.”

  Turning to her right, she saw Noel walk towards her. His eyes only on her and she felt the universe accept their love. This time, she was done with running. She’d savour and memorise each step they’d take together. Clara knew it wouldn’t be smooth sailing. When his leave was over, they’d have to figure out how it would work for them.

  “Is it crazy that I don’t want to leave your side?” he asked once he took her hand and led her to the tables.

  “Not one little bit,” she replied.

  Noel held out a chair and tucked her in. The smiles from around the table had her blushing. The moment Noel sat next to her, she looked away from Julian, Max and Rob. Those green eyes had her heart racing.

  The smile on Noel’s face had her left hand reaching for his, assuring him that she wasn’t going anywhere. Looking up, she noticed Rob staring at their linked hands. Rob looked up at Noel and smiled. Clara couldn’t help but look at them both. But before she could think of anything more, Noel’s lips grazed her cheek, instantly gaining her attention.

  ⌘

  Being able to dance with Noel so freely was a blessing. He didn’t give up, every song that played he was on his feet, dragging her to the dance floor. Not that she minded. She loved the feel of his body pressed against hers. Every so often he’d whisper in her ear of the life they’d live together and how much he loved her.

  Each time he spoke those three words, he claimed her heart all over again. And each touch of his lips had her almost in tears. They stood there slowly dancing on the empty dance floor, the room almost empty of guests. His eyes never left hers as they swayed along to a soft song she didn’t recognise.

  Noel faced her. He was utterly beautiful. He wasn’t perfect but neither was she. Both imperfectly perfect together. His green eyes were the first thing she loved about him and then his heart. Taking a step towards him, Clara smiled as she cradled his face in her hands.

  “What time do you want to go back to Alex’s?” Noel asked, placing his hands on her hips and bringing her in close.

  “Actually,” Clara said as she let her fingers stroke the side of his face.

  “Yeah?”

  “I have a room here. The boys already shot gun Alex’s free rooms before I got to Scarsdale. And well, with the plan to get you back, I wanted us to be away from everyone. But if you want to stay at Alex’s, I’m good with that.” Clara bit her bottom lip, hoping that tonight she’d sleep in his arms. She yearned his touch and his body.

  “I was going to suggest we find a hotel. I need you alone tonight.”

  Her heart skipped a beat and she released her lip, smiling at him.

  “Why would you need me alone, Noel?” she asked in a low voice.

  “Because I’m going to want to make love to you, Clara. I’m going to need you tonight and I don’t want any of the boys around, especially Alex.”

  She felt her cheeks heat up and she swallowed hard.

  “But if you’re not ready for us to make love, I understand. Just let me hold you tonight and let me wake up to you tomorrow morning and every morning after that.”

  The love in his eyes completely struck her.

  Taking his hand and leaning up to his ear, she whispered, “Please make love to me.”

  Her heart and body needed to feel him, to complete the love between them by consummating their relationship. And maybe one day, consummate a marriage between them. Because she saw it, being Noel’s wife. Maybe one day. For now she was happy she had the opportunity to be his.

  “You sure?” he asked.

  The control was clear in his eyes and she nodded. She watched his chest fall heavily, she kissed him gently on the lips before she quickly grabbed her clutch from the table and led him out of the large room.

  Walking up the stairs, they s
tood in front of the white door of her room. Letting go of Noel’s hand, she opened her clutch and took out her room key. Placing the key in, she unlocked the door. Before she even had time to place the key back in her clutch, Noel turned her around.

  “I’m so in love with you, that tonight, I’ll show you just how much I do,” he softly whispered.

  He placed his hands on her hips and lifted her up, her legs instinctively wrapping around him, and her arms around his neck, key and clutch still in her hands. Her heart pounded at the feel of his body and his hands holding her backside. Noel held her up as he opened and closed the door behind her. Taking a step inside of the room, his lips crashed into hers.

  Hot, demanding, and passionate. His lips perfect as they moved against hers. His tongue running along her bottom lip, until she let out a small moan allowing him to explore her mouth. His tongue needing and wanting as it touched and moved against hers, leaving her panting.

  “Baby, I need to put you down,” he groaned against her mouth.

  She smiled against his lips as he bent down, allowing her to unwrap her legs and put her feet on the floorboards. The room she booked had a regal inspired bed against a blue almost grey wall, a buffet against the wall next to the bed and a small desk next to the window.

  Untangling her arms from around his neck, Clara walked over to the wooden antique buffet and placed her clutch and key on the wooden top. She heard his footsteps as his hands placed over hers, mouth close to her ear and his body against hers.

  “Are you sure you want this tonight?” he ask in a strangled voice.

  His hot breath touched her ear until she felt his lips graze the curve of her neck. She let out a sigh and closed her eyes tightly at the feel of his lips on her skin.

  “Please,” she softly begged.

  His hands pressed against hers as his lips trailed up her neck before they disappeared. She opened her eyes and looked down at their hands. They always fit so perfectly together and she smiled at the sight.

  His hands left hers as his fingers ran along the back of neck. His touch sent her shivering and she realised how much she missed the feel of him. Just the sheer pleasure of his touch made her heart ache and expand.

  “I love you,” he whispered against her ear. The emotion in his voice had her tearing. She felt the tug of the zipper of her dress and she bit down on her bottom lip. The anticipation had her breathless. When the zipper stopped, the dress loosened before it fell on the floor. Noel placed his hands on her hips and turned her to face him.

  It hurt her to see those green eyes so sad but the love and adoration mended that hurt. She swallowed hard. She finally had what she had dreamed of standing in front of her. Slightly feeling insecure about her white lacy underwear, Clara turned away from his stare.

  Noel placed his palms on her cheeks. “I’m staring at you because you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. You need to start believing that you are breathtakingly beautiful.”

  Tears brimmed her eyes at his words. The basic human function of breathing was rendered difficult.

  Noel placed his hand over her cleavage, her heart racing at his touch. “I feel in love with your heart. This is what’s so beautiful about you. Your laugh, your smile, and everything else is a bonus.”

  He didn’t let her reply, instead he bent down and scooped her into his arms and walked her over the bed, placing her down on the cool sheets as her head rested on the pillows of the bed.

  “You seem to have too many clothes on, Noel,” she whispered, mimicking the words she uttered when they were on that beach together, over a year ago. A bright smile filled his face as he hovered over her body.

  “Before we go through with this…” he said sitting up.

  His face tensed and Clara automatically sat up. She took Noel’s hand and gave him a reassuring squeeze.

  “I don’t have any protection, Clara. Are you still on the pill? I don’t know if you and Liam were trying for a family.”

  Clara let out a short laugh, lifted her legs over his lap and straddled him, ensuring that she looked into his eyes. It was time she was honest about her sexual experiences.

  “Liam and I weren’t trying for kids, far from it, and I’m still on the pill.”

  His hold of her hips was a feeling that consumed her, a feeling she wanted to keep. She wanted to hold on to him, to keep him simply forever. She wanted to be the woman that tied him down and he continued loving for the rest of time. She would be strong enough for him.

  No more running.

  “Clara, are you sure you want this to happen between us? I mean, I want to, but if you want to wait, we can.”

  The nervousness in his voice had her fingers trailing along the side of his face.

  “I love you and you are the only man I’ll ever want. I want us to make love tonight. I want you to own my body like you did before. I want you to own my heart with each breath you take and each slip of my name. I want this because I love you. But… you need to go easy on me, Noel.”

  He flinched and brought his hands up to her face, pulling her back so he could look at her clearly.

  “What do you mean go easy on you?” The callousness of his palm was one she missed, his hands firm and strong as he held her face.

  Breathing in deeply, she realised how happy she was to confess this to him. “I’ve only ever had sex with one man before.”

  “What?” he breathed out utterly shocked.

  “I’ve only ever made love to you, Noel. You are my one and only. It’s only you.”

  He turned slightly before placing her amongst the pillows and finding her lips. Her hands tangled in his hair as she held on to him. Breathless at each needy kiss he gave her. She loved him and now she was thankful Liam asked to wait.

  Breaking their kiss, he held himself up with his hand on the bed near her face. “How is that even possible?”

  Noel moved the messy curls out of her face.

  “Liam wanted us to wait and then he proposed and asked if we could wait until we got married. He’s never touched me. I hope this isn’t a problem. The only experience I’ve had is with you and that was a long time ago.”

  “I’m the only one that’s…”

  Clara nodded. The look in his eyes had her smiling and utterly thankful that she could claim him as her only.

  Sitting himself up, Noel started to loosen his tie before he removed it and made quick work of his shirt.

  His hands were on his buckle when Clara sat up and asked, “Can I do it?”

  He didn’t say anything, only nodding his reply to her. The look in his eyes told her that this between them was to show her his love, to claim her heart as his. Her trembling hands reached over and undo his belt. Noel’s lips kissed their way up and down her neck as she unsnapped his pants. The anticipation truly left her breathless.

  “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” he breathed against her neck as she slid the zipper down.

  Tears brimmed her eyes, as she tried to control her breathing. This moment and his love overwhelmed her.

  “Stay with me, Clara. It’s okay. We have each other now. I’m here, I’m never going to leave you.” His lips found her mouth as he gave her a quick opened mouth kiss before he got off the bed.

  Watching Noel shimmy out of his pants and his underwear was breathtaking. Him naked was truly beautiful. She swallowed the lump in her throat as he retuned to the bed, pushing her into the mattress and hovering his body over hers. He was bulkier than she remembered, his shoulders broader and his muscles more defined.

  They had a layer of her underwear between them but she felt how much he wanted her and the feeling was monumentally mutual. Looking into his eyes, the love burned right through her heart, his name marking every inch and ruining her for any other man. But she was happy, there was no other man she’d rather spend her days with than Nolan Parker.

  Getting on her elbows, Noel unclasped her strapless white bra and pulled it off her body. He disposed of
her bra on the floor and he took in her bare chest. He had seen her naked numerous times before and his in awe expression always captivated her.

  “If Liam knew what making love to you was like then he would have never let you go. You have no idea how it feels to hear that I’m the only man you’ve ever been with. I’m the one and only man you’ll ever be with again, Clara. This is forever.”

  The promise in his eyes had her nodding.

  “I believe you,” she whispered back and kissed the tip of his nose.

  Noel’s hands slid down the side of her body. They both held their breaths as Noel’s fingers were at the sides of lacy underwear. His chest heaved and he closed his eyes tightly before opening them. Clara lifted her hips off the bed as he slid her underwear down her legs.

  This was what she wanted. No barriers between them, just the two of them promising to love each other for the rest of their days. Shifting, Noel settled between her legs as he held her face in his hands. Her hands wrapped around his wrists as he held her. There was nothing more she wanted then to make love to him. Completely giving herself to him and promising every bit of her to the love of her life.

  “Clara?” he whispered, sounding vulnerable as he fell silent.

  “Yes, Noel,” she answered. The nerves formed knots in the pit of her stomach. Her hands squeezing his wrist to indicate she was staying. How she walked away from him, she didn’t know. Her intentions were selfless, but looking back, she was selfish for not accepting her heart’s choice sooner.

  “Promise me something.”

  Her heart ached at the fear in his eyes. A fear she wanted to rid him of.

  “Anything.” She smiled.

  “Promise when I wake up tomorrow, you’ll still be here.”

  Clara’s mouth fell open at his request. So simple and yet he was so fearful. His thumb ran along her bottom lip as he opened his heart up to her.

  “Promise me that when I wake up tomorrow you’ll still be in this bed. Promise that you won’t leave me, and this isn’t all just some crazy dream. Promise me that I get to wake up to the sight of you every morning for the rest of our lives.”