Yajnaseni: The Story of Draupadi

by Pratibha Ray

  38

  My tormented heart found some solace in the natural beauty of Badarika. It was from here that Arjun left on his journey to svarg. Therefore this was the ultimate pilgrimage spot. The sages and ascetics here told us that Arjun would return from svarg after five years. God knew what task he would complete there in five years. I thought I would wait here for five years. Everyone agreed to this. They began to pray for Arjun's return. I began to observe with great dedication fasts for his safe return.

  In Badarika during my observance of vows the extent of Bhim's love was revealed to me. Whatever I desired he would fulfil immediately. On account of fasting and eating only fruits my body grew thin but the beauty and complexion grew radiant, pure and delicate like a flame. Bhim forgot his barbed comments, as though his very language underwent a change. Because of the elder brother's addiction to gambling and lack of foresight I was undergoing such pain — in this manner he would openly criticise Yudhishthir. And on the other hand Arjun was spending his time in svarg in enjoyment and luxury and torturing me on the pretext of learning music and dance — in this way he would criticise him as well. Nakul and Sahadev did not enquire about my health at all. They were busy with their own work. Therefore, Bhim would rebuke them too. In Bhim's mountainlike body flowed a veritable Mandakini of love for me. At times Bhim would make me forget the pain of Arjun's absence.

  Five years were about to be over. Bhim and I were roaming in the forest. Suddenly the wind blew towards us from the northeast corner and a fragrant thousand-petalled golden lotus fell on me. I was enchanted with its wondrous fragrance and incomparable beauty. Spontaneously these words came out of my mouth, "If someone would bring me a hundred such flowers, I would String them into a garland and preserve it for welcoming Arjun. I have faith that sprinkling it with the drops of dedication and purity I will be able to preserve it for some days at least."

  I had hardly finished speaking when like the wind Bhim sped away in the north-eastern direction towards Mount Kailash. It was late. Bhim had not returned. I was disturbed and narrated everything to Yudhishthir. Worried, Yudhishthir turned to Sahadev who informed him: On Mount Kailash, in Kuber's lake, golden lotuses that were extremely rare, bloomed. Without asking anyone, Bhim plucked a hundred. Because of not having obtained Kuber's permission, the guards of the lake obstructed him. Bhim flared up and killed many guards. Even now he was fighting them.

  Hearing this, Yudhishthir was worried. Taking me along he went to Kuber and stopped Bhim from fighting. He was annoyed with Bhim. It was not proper to do such a thing without taking permission. Then Bhim said, "This work is actually yours. The husband's duty is to fulfil the desires of the wife. Draupadi's heart was set on the golden lotuses. It was your duty to bring her these. I have done it on your behalf."

  In a steady voice Yudhishthir said, "It was also not proper for forest-dwelling, vow-observing Draupadi to be greedy for golden lotuses. Why were you plucking flowers without the permission of the owner? It is natural for women to be greedy for wealth, jewels and gold. At such times they forget to discriminate between what is proper and improper. But a man ought not to forget the distinction between good and bad under the influence of greed."

  In order to prove the appropriateness of his actions, Bhim said, "Forest-dwelling Sita too had once desired a golden deer. For the sake of his wife, lord Ram ignored the question of good and bad. He ran after the golden deer. I am only an ordinary person. To fulfil his wife's desire, Ram promised to obtain the golden deer Yajnaseni is the wife of five husbands. All are renowned for valour, prowess, heroism. How could I ignore her desire for golden lotuses? What has princess Krishnaa not sacrificed for our sake? What suffering and insults has she not borne? Even while leaving the kingdom she had to bear the insult of having to take off her ornaments. And fulfilling this slight wish was my mistake!" Bhim was fuming with anger and excitement.

  In a cold, calm, steady voice Yudhishthir said, "Lord Ram ran after the golden deer. What was its ultimate consequence? You also know what sort of grief and danger mother Janaki's desire for gold threw her into. In the lives of Ram and Sita it is from here that sorrow begins. Therefore, this is a warning for the people of the world. Had I not arrived here, your life too would have been in danger. It is not right to display valour without considering the pros and cons. Learned, scholarly, well-versed in scriptures, Yajnaseni forgot what is good and what is bad in the greed for gold! This feminine fascination for gold in Yajnaseni can become the cause of our destruction some day. I had thought Yajnaseni was superior to other princesses, but..." Yudhishthir could not continue. On the other hand, I was pale with shame, guilt, hurt and remorse. With difficulty I controlled my tears. Yudhishthir begged pardon for Bhim's improper behaviour.

  Noticing my condition, Kuber sorrowfully said, "If Bhim had only intimated beforehand that devi Draupadi wanted golden lotuses, I would myself have sent hundreds of thousands of them. Bhim did not tell anyone anything. He did not even bother to take my permission. He simply began plucking the lotuses. That is why this situation occurred. Anyhow, what was to happen has happened. Now Bhimsen can present his beloved wife as many golden lotuses as he wished. Besides this, from my side I am presenting devi Krishnaa ten lakh golden lotuses. By the touch of the dust of her feet the lotuses of my lake have become even more beautiful. These fragrant lotuses are a hundred times more precious than gold. I can give them without hesitation as presents only to devi Draupadi."

  I protested. Humbly I said, "I cannot accept your present. At this moment I am standing on the banks of the lake of dharma. I vow here that I shall never wear gold or silver ornaments and jewelry; that I shall never use them for enjoyment. You know that I am inflexible regarding my vows. Therefore, forgive me, as these lotuses are golden and very precious, I cannot take them. Actually, a person's true ornament is not jewellery but his acts, personality and qualities. Despite being aware of this, because of greed I forgot myself. By warning me at the right time Yudhishthir has earned my gratitude."

  Persuasively Kuber said, "Devi! If you do not accept my present I shall be deeply hurt. As it is, your name is virtually that of Krishna. Today after this uproar if you should return from the banks of my lake empty-handed, what will people say about me? Whether you use them or not, but save me from calumny by accepting my present. I am not in favour of wasting wealth, but I also do not hesitate to spend wealth on suitable work. You can put the golden lotuses to use in some noble purpose."

  I sensed Kuber's sincerity. Light shone in the darkness. The dream that I had resolved to turn into reality after reaching Kamyak forest would become possible so soon! Humbly I said, "Sir, on account of the absence of harmony and good relations between the city-dwelling Aryans and the forest-dwelling non-Aryans the discrepancy that exists between the way of life and thinking of these two races bodes ill for the future. The forest-dwellers, far from education and civilization, consider themselves inferior to the Aryans. On the other hand, the Aryans regard themselves as superior to the non-Aryans. It is because of this misconception that enmity between the two societies is growing. If anything is done to create fellow-feeling in them then they will display friendship to the utmost. The proof of this is the harmonious life and friendship of the Pandavs with the Shabar tribe of Kirmir in Kamyak forest. But without any means of communication, there will be many obstacles to building a sound relationship. If the advantage of a road through the deep forest could be made available then it would be easy to maintain relations with them. They too would be able to visit cities and holy places. Consequently, it would be possible to establish integration between the Aryans and the non-Aryans, sages and hermits. Exchange of ideas, participating in festivals, marriages and celebrations of one another would be possible. In this manner, among them bonds of friendship and even of marriage could be forged. The endangered Aryavart can immensely benefit from this. Therefore, it is my request that in return for the price of ten lakh golden lotuses if roads could be built linking the forest of Kamyak, Dvaita, Naimis
ha and different places of the Himalayas, the ashrams of sages and Hastinapur, then my dream would be fulfilled. The Shabars, Rakshasas etc. have always been creating obstacles to the ascesis of sages. The sole reason for this is the absence of integration and communication. What do you feel about this?"

  Yudhishthir was listening spell-bound. As for Kuber, he was astounded. Sage Lomash was approving and endorsing my words loudly. Nakul laughed and said, "Yajnaseni has suffered much crossing this difficult terrain. Therefore she is proposing the building of roads, temples, rest-houses in the forests. Yes, while returning, these will certainly reduce our difficulties, and everyone will also benefit."

  With a gentle smile Sahadev said, "As a result of this many conflicts of Aryavart will be resolved. Today with sage Lomash presiding, let the foundation stone of Yajnaseni Integration Hall be laid."

  Laughing, Kuber said, "Let Bhim now inaugurate the celebrations of today, for having married Hidimba, the sister of Hidimb, it is he who has laid the foundations of Aryan-non Aryan relations. Equal behaviour with everyone is Bhim's ideal. It is he who ought to lay the foundation of Yajnaseni Integration Hall."

  Everyone applauded Kuber's announcement. With sage Lomash presiding, the auspicious beginning of the task of integration took place. On the earth dharma, truth, justice were endangered on account of the Kauravs. At such a time there was a particular need for such work. This was confirmed by the gods of svarg too who blessed us by showering flowers. This was not a matter of little encouragement and consolation for us. Completing this work we returned to Badarikashram. There we continued to wait for Arjun.

  39

  The grave detachment of the Gandhamadan mountain was uplifting. I wished that I could remain for ever thus, lost in the beauty of nature, silent, indifferent. For some time past we had been waiting near the Gandhamadan. Arjun's five years in svarg were over. He would arrive at the Gandhamadan from svarg.

  The sky was overcast that day. In the blue clouds I was painting Phalguni's dark beauty. Suddenly a supernal light gleamed in the sky. A bejewelled chariot gradually alighted on the Gandhamadan. Indra's charioteer Matali was coming with Arjun. The Pandavs were delighted. Without blinking I kept staring at Arjun's inimitable beauty resplendent in the supernal glow. He having stayed for five years in svarg, his beauty glowed with heavenly splendour. An other-worldly halo radiated from him. In delight, Bhim picked Arjun up and began dancing. Arjun was smiling gently. Everything about him seemed inimitable.

  He touched the feet of the elder brothers, embraced the younger brothers. He had brought many expensive presents from svarg. For Yudhishthir, he had brought the map of that kingdom, its political lay-out, many papers concerning its administration. In future, Yudhishthir's goal would be the establishment of a kingdom like svarg on earth. He was very glad with these presents. For Bhim, there were the rare nectarous sweets, fruits and tubers of svarg. Bhim immediately waded into them without waiting to sit down! For Nakul, begemmed bridles, saddles and a hunting dress from Indra's palace. For Sahadev, a remarkable instrument for ascertaining the movement of the stars and planets. Everything was visible in it, even the future could be calculated. Everyone was extremely happy with the presents.

  I was standing silently, staring fixedly, lost in some heavenly dream. Bhim asked, "Anything for Draupadi?"

  Laughing, Arjun came near me, "For you? What is there? Speak!"

  My eyes were flowing with tears of joy. I said, "It is enough that you have come away from the enchanting apsaras of svarg. I do not want anything else."

  Arjun took off a bejewelled necklace he was wearing round the neck and a precious crown from his head. Many precious golden ornaments he took out from the chariot. Keeping all of these before me he said, "Krishnaa! That day arrogant Karna had stripped you of ornaments at Duryodhan's command. I had vowed that day that I would adorn you from head to foot. For these five years how many presents of ornaments have I not received from gods! I have kept all of them carefully for you. Wearing these you will return to Hastinapur after the exile."

  Silently I accepted them. The bundle of ornaments I extended towards sage Lomash saying, "Husband! I cannot break my vow. Now I shall never wear precious ornaments. All these ornaments of svarg will be utilised in the sacred task of establishing amity on earth."

  Astounded, Arjun kept staring. He was unable to understand anything. Lomash narrated the entire history of the task of integrating the aryans and non-aryans. Arjun was overwhelmed with joy. Yudhishthir said, "I thought that princess Draupadi's burning character was filled with anger, pride, revenge only. But now I have understood how much of humanity and superhuman quality permeates it. A veritable Mandakini of kindness, forgiveness, compassion and love flow within her, a hidden stream like the Phalgu. How very late it is that I have got to know this! Inspired by Yajnaseni, the very nature of forest life is changing now, the differences between man and man are getting removed."

  Taking both my hands Arjun said, "Krishnaa! It is your dedication and single-minded love that enabled me to remain indifferent in the face of the violence of apsara Urvashi's enamoured attacks. But as the price of that I had to sacrifice my manhood for a year. You will be sad to hear this. Still, because of Father's compassion I have been able to get out of Urvashi's clutches with just a year's eunuchhood instead of being condemned to be a eunuch for the rest of my life. Will you not tolerate my year-long eunuchhood with a patient heart?"

  I was deeply grieved hearing this. Phalguni had rather remained in svarg than suffered the curse of losing manhood for a year. The man to whom I surrendered myself regarding him as best of all men, how shall I be able to bear a year of his troubled existence without manhood? Understanding my grief, Sahadev said, "Do not grieve, Draupadi! All happens on his direction. This curse on our brother can prove a boon during the year of incognito exile."

  In a calm voice Arjun said, "I ignored Urvashi's offer of love. She cursed me to become a eunuch. But on father's request she altered it to a year of eunuchhood. Consoling me, father said, during the year of incognito exile Urvashi's curse will act as a boon.' Now Sahadev's words tally with what father said. The depression in my mind has been removed. Whatever God does is invariably for the welfare of the creature."

  Hearing Sahadev's words, calling sakha I surrendered everything to him. I thought to myself, "If Krishna's sakha Arjun should have to bear the curse of a years's eunuch-hood then for this it is not Krishnaa but Krishna who will bear the shame."

  40

  The monsoons are a season of life. While living in Dvaita forest I realised this. While returning to Kamyak forest with Arjun on the way the Kirat chief, Subahu, welcomed everyone and requested that we enjoy his hospitality for a few days. By this time within the forest the advantage of a road had already appeared. Temples and rest houses had also been built. The forest-dwelling Shabars had begun visiting teerthas and the ashrams of sages in the Himalayas. Word of the love of the Pandavs for the Shabars and of my hopes for an integration of Aryans and Shabars had spread. In Kamyak forest changes were coming about in the lives of the Shabars. Therefore, we had the good fortune of enjoying the friendship of all forest-dwelling tribes. The Aryan-non-Aryan ill feeling that had existed on account of the hatred in the minds of the Kauravs had been removed by the principle of equality followed by the Pandavs. Gladly accepting the friendship of the Kirat chief, Subahu, we stayed there for some days.

  I was keen to spend a quarter of a year in Dvaita forest. Here the rains appeared magical. Green showers spread their incomparable beauty everywhere. The Pandavs got ensnared in the magic of nature. Bhim and Nakul went hunting on the Yamun hill. That was where one day Bhim fell into the clutches of the serpent Nahush. Yudhishthir rushed to his rescue. It was found that the father of Yayati, ancestor of the Kuru dynasty, was Nahush who was cursed to become a snake by Agastya and was roaming for long years in the forest. To free their ancestor from this curse the Pandavs engaged in prayer. Yudhishthir provided the correct reply to Nahush's questions. Then
Bhim was freed from the serpent's coils and Nahush himself, being liberated from the curse, disappeared after blessing the Pandavs.

  Yudhishthir thought that for this virtuous act it was Subahu's kingdom which had been the chosen site. Liberating ancestors from a curse was a highly meritorious act for descendants. If they had not been living in Subahu's kingdom the Pandavs would not have this unique opportunity to earn the blessings of their ancestor. He expressed his gratitude to Subahu who with folded hands said, "Who am I? All is His wish. If that were not so, why would you have arrived in my kingdom?"

  Bhim said, "Brother, we have many divine weapons with us. The entire Shabar clan is with us. We have the support of the Yadav clan and of Shri Krishna and Balaram. Now the blessings of our ancestor are also with us. Now why delay further? When will Panchali's hair be bound up? Duryodhan is bursting with pride, depending on Karna. After returning from his conquests, Karna is preparing for a great sacrifice. For this we too had been sent invitations. But they knew that without completing thirteen years we shall not set foot in Hastinapur. This invitation was like sprinkling salt on open wounds. After the completion of the great sacrifice, Duryodhan mightily praised Karna. Losing self-control, Karna declared in public that till he had slain Arjun he would avoid meat, wine, coition and would never refuse anyone anything. Therefore, the time has come to crush his pride. There is now no fear in returning to Hastinapur."

  Unmoved, Yudhishthir said, "I have heard of Karna's vow. I know its gravity, too. Just now we will not be able to do anything. We have not held back out of fear. The time has not yet come. How can we return to Hastina? When thirteen years are over, including the year of incognito life, we shall return. First, we shall try to arrive at an understanding through peace, non-violence and co-operation."