Don't Explain

by Audrey Dacey

  “No.” She was firm and direct this time. “I don't sleep with random college guys from bars.”

  He stopped smiling, “You could have told me that from the beginning. Now I've wasted half the night and have to go home and change.” The young guy began walking away. She heard him curse her under his breath.

  “Whatever,” Caitlyn pulled out her phone. She had managed to convince Alexis that she would need it to call for a ride in the morning. It was the only thing that would convince her. She pulled up Alexis's number, but it went straight to voicemail. She had turned off her phone.

  Caitlyn took a quick survey of the bar and then the parking lot, but Alexis was not in either place. What was she supposed to do now? Alexis had insisted on driving, and now Caitlyn was stuck in Fitchburg.

  She called Alexis's phone again. “What did you tell that guy? Are you out of your mind? Now, I am stuck here. You’re nowhere to be found, and I don't have a ride. Great night. Thanks.”

  She browsed her phonebook. Most of her friends had kids, and she was not about to call a cousin. Her family couldn't keep their mouths shut. It would certainly get back to her mother that so-and-so picked her up at a college bar in the middle of the night. She didn't want to deal with that torture. She typed out a quick a text message. “Are you still awake?”

  She wrapped her arms around her waist in an attempt to keep herself warm.

  Her phone rang in her hand, and she quickly picked up. “Bonjour, mon ami,” she said with a slight sarcasm, “I need a favor.”

  Michael's voice filled the receiver and renewed a warmth inside of her, “What can I do for you?”

  #

  Twenty minutes later Michael's pulled up in his crimson coupe. He lowered the passenger side window. He admired her hungrily and immediately wanted her. He envied the guys in the bar, the ones who had a chance with her that night, and wondered why she was leaving with him instead of one of them. He was happy that she had been unsuccessful. He invited her into the car with a wave, and she quickly climbed in.

  “Sorry. I really had no one else I could call.”

  He wondered if that was true or if this was her little revenge. If it was, it was an excellent way to make him feel apologetic.

  “What happened to your ride?”

  “Good question. It appears that she has vaporized.” She let slip a giggle. It reminded him of the laughing fits she would have after she orgasmed. Even his breath against her skin would tickle her, and she would giggle uncontrollably for five minutes.

  Michael watched as Caitlyn rolled the hem of her dress between her fingers as the rode silently back to Maple Field. He hated that he made her nervous or that she was uncomfortable around him at all. He only knew one way to make her really relax, and that was not an option. It was difficult for him not to imagine pulling the car over and consuming all she had to offer. He imagined Caitlyn removing her panties and straddling him in the driver's seat, but the image of Margaret sitting on the bathroom floor vomiting quickly brought his thoughts back to something more innocent. He felt his chest tighten, and he was ashamed of himself.

  Caitlyn rose from the car as she thanked Michael for the ride. He watched her walk away greedily taking her in with his eyes. “Hey!” he shouted at her. She turned and leaned into the window. “You should come over tomorrow. We'll have a barbeque.” Caitlyn twisted her mouth in consideration. He could tell by the way she was moving her lips that she was trying to find an excuse to say no. As she was about to reject his request, he added, “Bring Alexis, if you want.”

  She was silent for a moment, but then slowly said, “Okay. We'll be there.”

  He watched her until she closed the door behind her.

  Damn it, he thought. He needed to start trying a little harder to enjoy Margaret and not Caitlyn.

  CHAPTER 13

  “I can't believe you called him again.” Alexis was incredibly upset with Caitlyn for agreeing to go to the barbeque, and she had no trouble voicing her opinion about it. Caitlyn was berated the entire drive to Michael's house.

  “You didn't give me a choice,” she reminded Alexis.

  “You could have gone home with that hot college guy I set you up with.”

  “Do you know his name?” Caitlyn waited for a response, but none came. “Neither do I. What has happened in our friendship that made you believe that I would go home with him?” She was beginning to regret bringing Alexis with her, but she could not do any other event with Margaret alone so soon.

  “I just thought that he could help you.”

  Caitlyn cut her off, “You thought wrong. I'll get over it. In time. For now just help me fall out of love and not into some random jerk's bed.”

  Alexis sighed, “Fine.”

  The rest of the car ride Alexis told Caitlyn about the delicious evening she had involving a young guy and a jar of maraschino cherries. “I'm glad it was worth it,” was Caitlyn's only response.

  They stood at the doorway, and as she was about to ring the door bell, Alexis turned to Caitlyn, “We can still ditch this thing and get some teppanyaki.” Alexis quickly raised and lowered her eyebrows twice to indicate that it was a better idea and she preferred it. Caitlyn reached past her and rang the doorbell herself.

  Margaret answered the door, smiling ear to eat. “Hi, ladies! I’m so glad that you decided to come over.” She turned to Alexis and held out her hand. “Hi, I’m Margaret Black. You must be Alexis. It’s really great to meet you.”

  “Yeah.” Alexis gave her a hesitant smile and shook her hand for a moment.

  “Please come in. Michael is upstairs preparing the meat for grilling.” Margaret turned around and flounced up the stairs.

  Alexis held Caitlyn back at the entryway and looked at her with wide eyes. “Are you serious? No one is that happy.” she said quietly.

  “I was, and I would be if I were in her position.” Caitlyn pushed past Alexis’s extended arm and climbed the stairs and walked into the kitchen.

  Michael stood at the counter making hamburger patties out of ground beef. He turned his head when Caitlyn and Alexis entered. “Hi, there. You ladies up for some burgers?”

  Caitlyn nodded, and Alexis glared at him.

  “Well, I’m going to go put these on the grill. Margaret, why don’t you get them something to drink?”

  Margaret smiled warmly at him. “Of course. I’m sorry. I should have offered right away.”

  Michael stepped outside while Caitlyn looked from her friend, who had not removed the grimace from her face, to the hostess, who had not removed the smile from hers. Alexis was right. Nothing good could come of this. Alexis wouldn’t let it. As hard as Margaret would try to accommodate them, she wouldn’t be able to satisfy Alexis unless she left for good.

  Caitlyn contemplated leaving, but she couldn’t come up with an excuse to go. She even prayed that her mother would call to ask her to do some menial task that her mother could probably do herself, but her phone didn’t ring when she willed it to.

  “So, Margaret,” Caitlyn began as they all sat down at a picnic table with their drinks on the back deck, “have you found a job yet?”

  Margaret shook her head. “No. I’m not going to get a job right away. With a baby coming, it would be complicated to get maternity leave. I guess in that way marrying a doctor has its benefits because we don’t need the money.”

  “Isn’t Michael just starting a practice? That’s not guaranteed income,” Alexis said, folding her arms across her chest.

  “True, but we both have savings, and I’ll help him with the start up answering phones and stuff. Maybe in a couple of years when the baby can go to preschool, I’ll think about starting a practice here. Maybe it could be in the same office as Michael.” Margaret gave them a bright smile and sipped her lemonade.

  Caitlyn shot a look at Michael, who caught her eye briefly before turning his attention back to the grill. For someone that claimed he didn’t want to be with Margaret, he was planning on spending a lot of time with h
er.

  Margaret’s phone rang, and she looked at it briefly before holding it up and saying, “Excuse me. I’ll be right back.” And with the same overly enthusiastic tone, she said, “Hi, why are you calling?” before entering the house and closing the sliding door behind her.

  When she returned a minute later the conversation turned banal—house prices and tile versus hardwood floors versus carpet type stuff. Caitlyn was glad. She didn’t want to hear much more about Michael and Margaret’s happily ever after, and if Alexis was fighting Margaret on the benefits of tile, she didn’t sound like the bitch that was brewing inside of her. Alexis kept kicking Caitlyn to jolt her out of her thoughts.

  They ate the hamburgers that Michael cooked with his own special seasonings and smothered in fresh-roasted green chiles.

  When Alexis finished her meal, she threw her napkin on her plate and asked, “May I use your bathroom?”

  Michael gave her directions and she excused herself.

  Caitlyn smiled at the couple and didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say. No questions to ask that she wanted to know the answers to, except if it felt nice to have Michael’s hand on your thigh all through dinner, but she didn’t figure that was appropriate to ask.

  Alexis appeared again, too quickly. She looked only at Caitlyn. “I need your help,” she said and then disappeared again.

  Caitlyn shied away from the suspicious looks her hosts were giving her and quietly excused herself from the table to follow Alexis to the bathroom. She moved to the hallway to find Alexis beckoning her to come quickly and jumping up and down.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Caitlyn scolded her friend with a hushed tone.

  Alexis pointed into the bathroom and murmured, “Get in there.”

  Both women went into the bathroom, and Alexis closed and locked the door behind her. “You have to see this.” Alexis moved to the counter, grabbed a small plastic container, and handed it over.

  Caitlyn took the bottle and turned it to read the label: “Easy and Clear Ovulation Strips.” She was befuddled. “What the hell is this?”

  “I think it’s pretty clear.”

  “Why would they have ovulation strips? No one could possibly be ovulating in this household.” She pushed past Alexis and glanced in the trash, but it was empty. “Are these yours?”

  “No.”

  “This is a very serious accusation. If you're doing this to get me away from Michael…”

  “It would be a terrible plan, and I wouldn’t lie to you. Those are not mine. They were on the counter. I came in here and put my purse on the counter, and I heard something drop to the floor. So I looked around to find what had fallen, and it was that.” Alexis was visibly excited. She was shaking her hands at the wrists vigorously, and she sounded like she might hyperventilate. “She is faking it! She’s a liar, and I knew it. No one is that happy or that perfect.”

  “Shut up!” Caitlyn smacked her on the shoulder. “They might hear you. Where were these?” Alexis took the bottle from her and put it back on the counter.

  “Get out or I'm going to pee myself.”

  Caitlyn left closing the door behind her, but she remained in the hallway. She is faking it. The thought repeated over and over in Caitlyn's head. She tried to dismiss it. Wished it wasn't true, but it seemed to be the only explanation. She made up the pregnancy and was now trying to make it true. Why would she do this? Who would think this was a good idea? Caitlyn was suddenly struck with the fact that realistically this didn't make any sense. The idea was full of holes. She finally settled on it being an impossibility but felt sick about her conclusion.

  She was so lost in her thought that she didn't see Margaret coming up the hallway, but she arrived just as Alexis was leaving the bathroom. Both were startled by her appearance.

  “Are you done in there? Margaret looked at them suspiciously and then looked past them into the bathroom.

  Caitlyn nodded as Margaret clasped a hand over her mouth and darted past her, slamming the door behind her.

  Alexis crossed her arms under her breasts and said, “She overacts.”

  Caitlyn was stunned, and Margaret's actions only seemed to confirm the alarming thoughts she had dismissed. She walked down the hallway with Alexis, who suddenly couldn’t stop smiling, into the living room where Michael stood. Should she say something to him about this? No. There wasn't enough information. The only way to be sure was to confront Margaret.

  “Is everything okay?” Michael looked at the women strangely.

  Caitlyn struggled to find a reason that they would both need to be in the bathroom at the same time, but Alexis hastily answered, “Of course.” She held her hand next to her mouth as if she were telling him a secret and confided, “Women stuff.”

  Alexis had lied by omission. It was the only time Caitlyn could ever remember Alexis lying at all. She figured that Alexis would want to spill everything, immediately, but she didn’t. There was a reason. She was planning something.

  They all were heading back to the kitchen when Caitlyn heard the bathroom door open. “It's my turn,” she exclaimed and headed back down the hallway. She turned into the bathroom and softly closed the door. She looked at the counter, but the container was gone. “Damn it,” she whispered. She flushed the toilet and washed her hands for good measure and then quietly exited the room.

  Caitlyn walked back into the kitchen and sat down to find that Alexis was beginning to have trouble controlling herself.

  “You don't look like your belly's getting bigger. How far along are you?”

  Caitlyn attempted to change the subject. “That’s a pretty necklace, Margaret.”

  Margaret looked down at the simple, rectangular locket that hung from her neck. “Thank you, Caitlyn. It was a gift from the nurses in the children’s wing at the hospital. It has a picture of the children in it.” Then she turned her gaze to Alexis and smiled. “I'm fifteen weeks, and I am getting a little belly.” Margaret stood up and pulled her sea foam green fitted sweater tight against her abdomen and pushed out her belly as far as it would go. With each breath the belly rose and fell so that Caitlyn could tell that she was faking at least some of it. Margaret grazed her hand over her stomach and looked at Michael smiling, “I guess it won't be long until I'm huge.”

  Michael smiled back at her.

  Caitlyn bit her bottom lip to keep herself from saying anything stupid. She closed her eyelids forcefully but slowly. She hoped that when she opened her eyes again they would be less wide with shock. She failed.

  “So does the doctor stick the duck bill in every time you go for a visit or is…”

  Alexis was interrupted with a smack on the shoulder and a strained protest from Caitlyn. She looked at Michael and Margaret and began to apologize, but Alexis began defending herself.

  “What? She's the only pregnant person I've ever known.”

  When she said the word “pregnant” she slightly shook her head. Caitlyn didn't know if it was on purpose or if she did it subconsciously. Caitlyn immediately looked at the pair across the table, but they didn't seem to notice.

  “I wanna know what happens. What the hell is wrong with that?”

  Margaret, who was now sitting, crossed her arms under her chest. “How else is she supposed to check me?”

  Caitlyn saw Michael narrow his eyes at Margaret with a confused look on his face. Alexis, who apparently also saw the interaction, smiled big as if she had done something very good. When Michael looked back across the table, she dropped the grin immediately.

  “How about your boobs? Are they bigger? Firmer?” Alexis turned to Michael and winked, “Don't be afraid to jump in on this one.”

  Caitlyn had to get out of this immediately, so she intuitively yelled, “Oh, no!”

  It worked; all six eyes were staring at her. She jumped up from her seat. She searched her mind for an excuse to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible. “The cat!”

  Alexis looked at her as though she had just completel
y lost her mind, “Sweetie, you don't have a cat.”

  She couldn't just go along with it.

  “A stray one.” She hesitated. Caitlyn honestly had no idea what she was going to say until it left her lips. “I left it in my bathroom.”

  Michael was now staring at her incredulously. “You hate cats,” he said.

  “It was a kitten. They're kinda cute, right?” She hoped someone would confirm this for her. She assumed other people thought kittens were cute, and the consequence of that was they eventually had to deal with a stupid cat. “It looked cold. So, I put it in my bathroom before I left. I need to let it out.”

  Alexis rose from her chair. “Okay,” she said very slowly. “Thanks for dinner, Michael.”

  “Yeah, thanks. See you later.” Caitlyn grabbed Alexis by the wrist and pulled her out of the house with a speed and determination neither knew was possible.

  The drive home was torture for Caitlyn. When they got to the car Alexis burst into a tirade about Margaret being a horrible person. Caitlyn drove in silence, listening only occasionally to the abuse Alexis lay on Margaret. When Alexis came to the conclusion that they must be having tons of sex because Margaret would want to get pregnant as soon as possible, Caitlyn sternly told her to stop.

  The rest of the ride was silent except every couple of minutes Alexis would shake her head and sigh, “What a bitch.” Caitlyn was relieved to drop Alexis off at her house. Before she got out of the car, Alexis turned to Caitlyn and questioned, “What are you going to do?”

  Caitlyn just shrugged her shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell him?”

  “It wouldn’t mean anything from me. He needs to hear it from someone he cares about.”

  “I don’t know if I am the best person for that job.”

  “Well, obviously Margaret is, but that’s obviously not going to happen, so it needs to be you. So, what are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know.” Caitlyn looked distantly down the street. “But I’ll call you when I know.”

  On the drive home all she could think about was that question. She was unsure of the role she was to play, but she did come up with a vague idea of what to do. She considered getting Margaret to trust her so that she would tell the truth, but Caitlyn knew that their relationship had not reached that level and probably never would. For a moment she feared that her distant attitude had destroyed her plans to manipulate a way to ruin a relationship. This thought was not comforting to her; it made her feel like the awful one.