Lord Harrow's Heart

by Susan M. Baganz

Phillip patted him on the back. “Glad to see you finally join the club. Each of us have been idiots in one way or another.”

  “Speak for yourselves,” Marcus chided. “That is one term that’s never been applicable to me.”

  “True, Marcus, but the three of us never had a news sheet printed with a cartoon of us in a brothel.” Phillip grinned.

  Marcus laughed. “True, Phillip, but it was for a noble cause.”

  “My cause is noble as well,” Theo proclaimed.

  ~*~

  The carriage was ready by mid-day. Theo opted to ride inside with Valeria who still would not speak with him. Michael was driving the carriage and Marcus and Phillip were on horseback, armed and prepared for any possible danger.

  Josie, Elizabeth, and Katrina waved them off, promising to pray for Dartanian’s safe recovery. The women were well guarded by armed footmen patrolling the Westcombe property where all the women and their children were staying together until the men and Lady St. John returned.

  It took time for the carriage to leave the city. Theo leaned against the squabs by the door and stretched his feet out, making sure that he was not touching Lady St. John. The tension inside the carriage was high. “Lady St. John, we are to be closed up in this carriage for days. It would be far more comfortable if we could at least be friends. I am sorry for my inappropriate comment earlier. Should we decide to wed in the future, you are worthy of a far better and more private proposal than the one you received in Phillip’s study,” Theo said.

  “Apology accepted.”

  “Could we be comfortable again? I would be your friend if you would let me.”

  “If you can’t settle for being my husband you will be happy with the role of friend?” A gaze penetrated his deepest thoughts and emotions. She shook her head. “Men are never happy with less than what they ultimately desire.”

  “Perhaps I am proposing friendship in the hopes of you growing to love me someday.” Theo turned to the window. Did he love her? How would he really be sure? All he was aware of was a growing desire to touch her. He respected her and admired her strength, even now, not knowing how her son fared, she was not helpless. Perhaps he only wanted her because she was the one woman who did not throw herself at him.

  No, that could not be true. Josie never threw herself at him, but he realized she was meant for Marcus all along. He held no desire for her and viewed her like a sister. Beth was beautiful but married to Phillip before he ever really met her. Married women were always off-limits in his mind. Katrina? He’d grown up with her as an annoying little friend, more like a sister. Besides, she only ever had eyes for Michael. Just once he wanted someone of his own.

  He’d finally found a woman who made his pulse race and his stomach perform funny flips. A woman who taunted him in his dreams and left him waking up disappointed that she was not by his side. A woman who didn’t need or want his title or wealth, or even his help, if he was honest. He wanted her as he’d never wanted any woman and she’d rebuffed him at every turn. After she had soaked his waistcoat and cravat earlier with tears he hoped that perhaps she was beginning to view him in a different way. Then he’d opened his mouth and spoiled it all.

  ~*~

  “I am not angry with you, Lord Harrow.” Her voice was soft, and it soothed his spirit.

  He said nothing.

  She fiddled with the strings of her reticule. “After Damon died, I swore I would never marry again. It is nothing personal. I simply could not bear the thought of. . .”

  “Not all men are beasts, Lady St. John.”

  “Tell my heart that.”

  Silence hung between them for many miles.

  “Maybe someday I will exercise my rights as a widow and consider a dalliance. But marriage? I cannot conceive of ever wanting any part of that again.”

  “You deserve more than the life of a mistress, my lady.”

  “You would not be tempted?”

  Theo gazed into her brown, almost black eyes and slowly scanned her figure with its tailored cut accentuating every delicious curve. He met her glance again. “I would be tempted but I would never be satisfied with access only to your body, lovely as it is.”

  Her eyebrows raised. “Why not?”

  “Because I have witnessed the beauty of love in the lives of my friends and could settle for nothing less than what they have found. That goes far beyond what happens between the sheets.” Theo averted his eyes and shook his head. Buffleheaded. Most certainly buffleheaded. Since when did his honor as a gentleman preclude him taking a gift willingly offered by a woman? He groaned and closed his eyes. They were startled open when a hand landed on his knee.

  ~*~

  What man would turn down an offer like that? She was coming to care for this gentle man sitting across from her. She had never experienced safety in any man’s arms until Theo. But she had almost nothing to compare it with. The man sitting across from her appeared forlorn. They had days to spend together cooped up in this cozy carriage. It would be a shame to be at odds with each other. Why couldn’t he accept that she could not entrust her future to another man? She placed her hand on his knee.

  His muscle tightened and his eyes flashed open. Deep pools of green warmth penetrated hers. “Lady St. John?”

  “Valeria. Call me Valeria.”

  “Valeria.” He watched her closely.

  She moved to sit beside him on the rear-facing seat. Valeria reached up and placed her left hand on his cheek. She ran her thumb over the stubble on his jaw. She moved up to massage away the worry lines on his forehead and between his eyes. His gaze never left her face. She smiled. He really was such a sweet man. Her forefinger ran down the bridge of his nose and played along the shape of his lips. “Do you seek to tease me, my lady?”

  “Valeria.”

  “Valeria.”

  She placed her lips on his and experimented with how gently he responded. He only took as much as she was willing to give. All of a sudden, she longed to give him far more. She never knew sensations like this before. Kisses had always been forcefully taken.

  His hand came up and pulled her jaw back to his and this time he initiated the kiss.

  It was like a string of excitement started there and traveled from her head to her toes and everywhere in between. Desire overwhelmed her. It was a new and startling experience. She pulled back, suddenly afraid.

  He let her go.

  “Theodore.”

  He gazed at her and waited.

  “I want you.”

  His eyes changed color from green to gray. He stared out the rear window and tensed up. “Valeria, get to the floor. Now!” Theo’s voice was rough as he reached for his gun.

  “What?”

  “Riders coming from behind fast. They have weapons drawn. Down! Now.” His voice was strong and angry.

  Fear enveloped her, but she obeyed. She sank to the floor as a bullet pierced the rear window shattering the glass and putting a hole in the squabs where her head had just been.

  Theo slid across the seat to the edge of the window and took aim with his pistol.

  The report and the odor of gunpowder filled the carriage.

  Valeria coughed.

  Lord Harrow grumbled, reloaded, and fired again.

  The returning report of a bullet sounded. Theo’s gun fell and landed by her hands.

  “Blast it!” Theo said as he curled his body back into the corner.

  The carriage slowed and stopped. Sir Tidley peered in. “Are you well, Lady St. John?”

  Valeria nodded, rose to her knees, and gazed at Theo in the corner. Blood oozed from a cut along the side of his forehead and his eyes were closed.

  “Theodore!” Valeria scrambled to sit next to him.

  Michael untied his cravat and handed it to her.

  She tried to clean the blood with her handkerchief, but it was too dainty. She grabbed inside Theo’s breast pocket for his and applied herself to putting pressure on the wound. She untied his cravat and wound it around Theo’s
head. He opened his eyes and gazed at her with a cheeky grin. “Shall we resume where we left off?”

  Valeria shook her head. “I believe you are too injured for any kind of activity.”

  “Trust me, my lady. The most important parts are still intact.” Theo exited the carriage and leaned against it to confer with the men.

  No one else had been injured. It appeared that Lady St. John was the intended victim. The assailants did not survive the counter-attack and were unable to give information. Their horses were tethered behind the carriage, and one of the guards cleaned up the broken glass.

  Marcus rode ahead to the next town to alert the magistrate to the dead bodies by the side of the road.

  Valeria settled back into the carriage. She leaned over to Theo and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

  “What was that for?” He gave her a sleepy grin.

  Valeria tilted her head and considered him for a moment. “That was for a man who acts like a hero.” Color rose in his cheeks. She reached over and smoothed back a bit of the soft, sandy brown hair that was still visible above the makeshift bandage. “Of course, right now you appear more like a pirate.” She grinned at him and flicked at the ends of the cravat that hung down off the side of his head.

  “A pirate?”

  She nodded.

  “Does that mean I can claim my treasure?”

  “What treasure would that be?”

  “A kiss from the pirate princess?”

  “Hmmm. I am sure that could be arranged.” Valeria leaned in to give him a kiss she hoped he would never forget.

  ~*~

  By the next day, Theo removed the bandage and allowed the area where the bullet had grazed him to scab over. He was able to partially hide it under his hair if he did not comb it back. Valeria had been more subdued in the carriage. They’d been unable to replace the glass, so dust filtered in through the back window.

  “Valeria.”

  “Yes, Theodore?” Her voice was soft. She sounded lost.

  “You are quiet today.”

  “You are observant. I am anxious for Dartanian. I miss mon enfant.” Her hands were clasped tightly together in her lap.

  “Relax. They cannot be too far ahead of us. As my friends would say, trust God to take care of him.”

  Valeria’s eyes flashed as she met his gaze. “You are a believer in Christ?”

  Theo shrugged. “I believe He walked the earth. I am inclined to even think He is God. I have a harder time accepting that He cares anything about my life.”

  “How sad.” Her hands relaxed. “I used to doubt too.”

  “But no longer?” This woman was a believer?

  She sighed. “I still doubt, but I pray anyway and try to read my Bible. I find great comfort there. The more evil I saw the more I believed in the goodness of God.”

  “That makes no sense.”

  “A diamond is only made more brilliant against a black fabric. The stars shine more brightly against the darkest sky.”

  “So, if there is evil. If there is a devil. There must be a counterpart. God?”

  She nodded and bit her lip.

  “But you struggle to trust Him?”

  Tears sprang to her eyes. “My faith in Him is nouveau. New. I am human. David in the Psalms had questions too. And I am a maman. My heart breaks for my little boy. I worry he is afraid or might be injured.”

  Theo moved to sit next to her and drew her close, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. It felt so right to hold her in his arms. He placed a kiss on her golden hair. She turned to look at him and her good arm reached up to touch his cheek.

  “The last time we tried this I got shot at.” Theo grinned at her.

  “We shall not dally then, oui?”

  “Oui.”

  Their lips met, and the the orange blossom scent Valeria wore filled his senses. She relaxed and leaned into him more, pressing her body against his. He thought he would burst for all the emotions that her touch evoked.

  When the kiss broke, Theo was breathing as heavily as if he’d run several miles. He moved to sit back across from her where he could continue to keep vigil out the back window. Focusing on the potential danger was a good antidote to the urges that warred within him. His friends kept an eye on them as well which was sobering. He grinned. Caught compromising the lovely widow could result in their marriage. Marcus would insist. He did that to Phillip and Beth and it turned out to be a love-match.

  Theo scolded himself. Valeria was worrying for her son. It was wrong for him to take advantage of her vulnerability and force himself on her. He would act the gentleman. Wait a minute. She was the one who propositioned me! Theo glanced over to her as she gazed out the window at the scenery. He was certain her mind was miles away.

  How would he ever get her to consider uniting her life to his in marriage? For now that he’d tasted her lips, he could settle for nothing less.

  6

  Valeria stared out the window after Theo moved away. She feared if she looked at him, the desire she felt deep inside for the man would tempt her to go beyond the kisses they’d already shared. She was ashamed of the way she’d propositioned him the day before. Her son was in danger and she dared to think of anything else? She was grateful he was too much of a gentleman to accept her offer. She longed to be with a man such as him. No. That was not true. She only longed for Lord Harrow. Theodore. Theo. His gentle demeanor was a balm to her wounded spirit. Just having him near was a comfort in the midst of her nightmare.

  After the suspicious deaths of her parents and the subsequent abuses from her husband and his father, she never would have believed that a man like Theodore existed. It was beyond her experience. But now with this new information, could she dare entrust her heart, her body, and her future to such as him?

  He did not have a firm belief in Jesus and that concerned her. He exemplified so many of the qualities she read about the Messiah. Compassionate. Gentle. Righteous. Steadfast. Sacrificial. Protecting. She wondered why, if all his friends were followers of Christ, he had not chosen that path himself. She prayed for faith to trust God. For protection for Dartanian and that they would recover him alive and well. And she prayed for the men who accompanied her on this journey. She prayed for Theo, that his heart would open to understand and love Jesus because she could not imagine spending her life with a man who didn’t.

  The day dragged on and later in the afternoon it rained. The men decided to stop at an inn for the evening instead of pressing on. Michael, who had been driving, was chilled to the bone. Still, he joined them in the private parlor after he’d donned fresh clothing. They’d only traveled as far as Bedford.

  Sitting at the table with the men there was little conversation.

  “I was thinking that since we are not that far from St. Neots we could detour there, pick up one of my carriages, and continue on from there.” Theo shoved another piece of roast in his mouth and chewed, waiting for his compatriots to chime in.

  “Your estate is near here?” Valeria asked.

  Theo nodded. His mouth was full.

  “I would love to visit it someday.”

  “As a Marquess it is one of the nicer estates awarded by the King. Theo is the third in his family to hold the title,” Phillip offered.

  “You are a Marquess? I did not know.” Valeria suddenly grew a bit uncertain. “Your parents?”

  Theo swallowed hard. “My father died in a hunting accident several years past. My mother was heartbroken. She lost her will to live and was buried within a year of her husband. I was an only child.” Theo sipped his port and rose from the table. “I will see you in the morning. Rest well, fair lady.” With that he was gone.

  “I think we should stop at Hartview tomorrow. Theo has a nice carriage. His groom can take yours in, Phillip, to have it repaired, and we can pick it up on our way back to London.” Michael made the suggestion as he sipped his ale.

  “He left abruptly,” Valeria stated.

  The men exchanged glances.

>   “Theo was very alone growing up. He is two years older than the rest of us and kind of ended up falling in with us at school. He never fit in anywhere else, I guess.” Marcus wandered to the fireplace with his ale. “He stayed on as a tutor after he finished school. I don’t believe I would have passed without his help.”

  Phillip leaned back in his chair. “I never realized he helped you, Marcus.”

  “That would be so like Theo. Helping someone out. Listening to their concerns and never drawing attention to himself,” Michael added. He stood and set down his mug. “I’m heading up. We will leave early. We have a lot of ground to cover tomorrow.”

  “I will come up with you,” Valeria said as she rose.

  Valeria entered her room and prepared for bed. Once under the covers she could not stop thinking about Theodore. Her body could not help but respond to his gentle embrace and the restrained passion behind his kisses. But he had never gone beyond what she would allow. He never even tried. Today he withdrew from her physically and emotionally. She wondered why. Her heart believed he carried a sorrow deep inside that he hid from the world. She was well acquainted with the emotion. Instead of locking himself away from life he had invested in his friends.

  Valeria rose and walked over to the fireplace letting the cold floor seep in through her bare feet. She wanted to go to him. To see him. To know that he was all right. But she didn’t dare. She had refused his offer of marriage and had made it clear she would have none of that ever again.

  But now she wondered if it would be such a bad thing to be married to a man like him. No. Not a man like him. Him. Tomorrow she would somehow let him know she might be amenable to that once they were past the current crisis.

  Dartanian. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts about Lord Harrow she’d briefly forgotten about her son. Dreaming about things that couldn’t be had been a way to avoid the terror she’d been fighting since her son had been taken. She wrapped her arms around herself. Her prayer lifted to heaven that he would be safe, that they would find him, and be able to rescue him from the evil clutches of the Duke of Diamonte. She crawled back under the covers and longed for strong arms to comfort her and assure her everything would be fine.