Don't Judge Me
Page 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
The Best and Worst Day Ever
Jennifer is in a bad mood Sunday morning. Her brown heels are scuffed, and the hem is coming out of her pantsuit.
“Ma?” she cries. “Where’s the shoe polish?” She searches her mother’s room frantically for the missing polish, wanting to look her best today. Her father is coming with them this morning, and, despite herself, she wants to impress him.
“Check the bathroom,” her mother replies.
Jennifer heads to the bathroom and bumps into her little brother.
“Jen?” Shawn smiles sheepishly as he places the missing shoe polish in her hands. Unfortunately most of it is on his face.
“Ay Dios mio!” Jennifer groans as she grabs his arm and drags him to the bathroom. It takes another fifteen minutes to clean him up, save a faded brown mustache and red, splotchy cheeks from the rigorous scrubbing.
Jennifer checks the clock. Service starts in ten minutes and her father still hasn’t arrived. Her frustration gives way to resignation, and she sighs.
Jennifer watches her mother and siblings come down the hallway.
“He’s not coming,” she states simply.
“He’ll be here,” her mother pats her hand encouragingly.
Five minutes to ten the doorbell rings and Jennifer flies to the door. Mr. Smith is on the doorstep with an apologetic look on his face.
“Sorry I’m late,” he says sheepishly.
“I’m surprised you showed up at all,” Jennifer mumbles as she lets him in. Ms. Smith shoots her a warning look and Jennifer shrugs.
When they get to the church Sunday school is over, and the youth are making their way to the main sanctuary. Jennifer spots Martin in the lobby. She skips over to him and gives him a hug.
“Martin,” she introduces. “This is my father, Pedro Smith. Dad, this is my friend Martin West.”
Martin smiles at Mr. Smith as he shakes his hand. “You wouldn’t happen to be the young man who dropped my daughter off yesterday, would you?”
“Dad…” Jennifer shakes her head at her father.
Mr. Smith continues. “Listen here, kid. In my day, you met the father before taking the daughter anywhere, and when you dropped her off you made sure you said hello to her parents before taking off.”
“Uh,” Martin sputters.
Mr. Smith continues. “Next time you take Jennifer out on a date, I want a proper introduction. Show some manners. I’m sure your parents taught you better than that. You understand what I’m saying, amigo?”
Jennifer covers her face to hide her embarrassment. Martin gives a nervous smile and nods at Mr. Smith.
“Pedro, let’s go find a seat,” Ms. Smith saves them from further awkwardness.
As her parents walk away, Martin gives Jennifer a crooked smile. “What was that all about?” he asks.
“I am so sorry,” Jennifer whispers. “My father is old-fashioned, and when he saw you drop me off yesterday, he thought we were on a date. It’s just silly! I mean, well, not us being on a date, there’s nothing silly about that, it’s just that the situation is silly, because my father thinks we were on a date when we weren’t and–”
“Jen, it’s okay,” Martin interrupts her rambling.
Jennifer smiles at him. “Service is starting, so we’d better get going,”
“Okay, see you after,” Martin pats her shoulder and walks toward the sanctuary.
Jennifer follows shortly behind him. She wants to sit next to him, but Max takes the only available seat.
“He probably did it on purpose,” Jennifer mumbles to herself. Jennifer frowns as she finds a seat next to her parents.
•••
Max knows that this is his chance, his moment. Martin is beside him, his parents are two rows in front of them, and everyone around him is praying. Technically, Max is supposed to be praying, too, but he’s at war with himself. Max glances to his left. Even Jennifer, who’s sitting in the row across from him, looks gentle and caring as she prays.
Max feels an urgent tug inside him, and he struggles to respond to it. It is pulling him, pleading for him to stand. It took all of his resolve to keep from breaking down at the end of the sermon. The message was engaging, but Max’s heart was moved when one of the church pastors gave his testimony.
Pastor Jonah explained how he would go swimming in the river with his little brother when they were young. His brother idolized him and imitated everything he did. He wasn’t a good swimmer, so Pastor Jonah would tease him and dare him to do impossible tricks. One night, while he was out with his friends in the river, his brother came along and asked to join them. Pastor Jonah threw a large, diamond shaped rock in the deepest part of the river and told his brother if he brought the rock up he could join them. His brother dove into the river and never came back up. Pastor Jonah and his friends searched and searched, but they couldn’t find him in the dark water. His brother was discovered the next morning, trapped underneath a rotted tree log.
Max had listened sympathetically as Pastor Jonah shared his feelings of self-hatred. The young pastor confessed that if it hadn’t been for God’s mercy, he would have taken his own life. For ten years he carried the guilt of his brother’s death, and it wasn’t until he came to Christ that he came to know peace. His final words were an invitation, not to ignore past sins, but to confess them to Christ and receive His forgiveness.
Now Max is struggling to respond to that invitation.
Another pastor comes to the platform and asks those who desire to be born again to stand. Max shifts in his seat, but feels his courage leaving. There are people in the church who know who he is and what he’s done. They won’t believe Max can change. Max glances again in Jennifer’s direction. She won’t accept him if he stands. She’ll think he’s playing around with God. Max knows he shouldn’t care, but the doubt is enough to keep him in his chair, though the tugging he feels in his heart doesn’t stop.
•••
Jennifer isn’t expecting him to stand, but he does. People begin clapping as the pastor asks those who responded to the altar call to walk down to the front. Jennifer looks up and joins the clapping, but her eyes are on one person. There are tears in his eyes and a humble expression on his face.
Jennifer feels her resentment building, but the spiritual strength of the moment forces it down. She can’t spend this moment complaining to God about how much he doesn’t deserve salvation. Still, Jennifer doubts his sincerity.
Ms. Smith nudges Jennifer as she points to him. Her eyes are glazed with fresh tears, and her claps are full of genuine praise. Jennifer feels a twinge of guilt at her selfishness. How can she begrudge anyone a relationship with Christ?
Her mother rubs her back and smiles at her again. Jennifer smiles back, but quickly turns away in shame.
•••
Mr. Smith is bubbling with excitement the entire way back to the house.
“Margie, I feel like my whole life has been turned around! I’ve been given a second chance at, well, everything! I don’t even know where to begin. I’m grateful, and happy, and excited and hopeful. I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I’m not even sure how to explain it. It’s as if a light’s come on, and I’m seeing things clearly for the first time.”
Jennifer sits in the back seat, listening quietly. Her father accepted Christ as his Savior this morning, and all she can think about is herself. Why is she feeling this way? Why is she feeling so wronged? Her father isn’t perfect; but neither is she.
So why does she feels he has to suffer?
Jennifer’s father leaves in the afternoon, and she is glad to see him go. He always causes heartache, though this visit was less traumatizing than most. She gives him a brief hug when he leaves and smiles half-heartedly when he promises to send her something soon. As soon as he’s gone, Jennifer calls Tammie. Her mother answers.
“No, hon, she’s not here,” Miss McLeod informs her.
“I didn’t see her in church today,” Jenn
ifer comments.
“Baby, I don’t know what to tell you,” Miss McLeod sighs into the phone. She doesn’t go to church very often, and when she does, she attends another church.
“She may be out with Devon. He’s such a good boy. He takes her out all the time, and she has so much fun. It’s good to see her smiling. I was beginning to wonder when she’d start to notice boys. She’s so shy, you know? But my little butterfly is coming out of her cocoon!”
Jennifer listens patiently as Miss McLeod continues to rave about Devon. When she finally pauses, Jennifer cuts in.
“Could you tell Tammie I called, Miss McLeod?”
“Sure, honey, I’ll tell her,” Miss McLeod croons.
“Thanks.” Jennifer hangs up the phone and chews her bottom lip. Tammie wouldn’t skip church for a boy, would she?