To Be a Family (Harlequin Superromance)

by Kilby, Joan

  He cupped her breast and with the utmost tenderness, kissed it over and over. A tear leaked out of Katie’s eye and seeped into the pillowcase. She released her breath in a quiet shuddering sigh. Then John pulled up the covers and shifted position, settling in to sleep.

  Not a word passed between them. Probably he hadn’t wanted to ruin the moment either, not when their reunion was so new and fragile. So much for her vow to talk things out. Part of her was relieved a bullet had been dodged. Another part mourned a lost opportunity. Long after his regular breathing indicated he was asleep, she lay awake, dry-eyed, wondering what was going to become of them.

  * * *

  THE QUIET PIPE of a single bird on the fence outside the window woke John just before sunrise. Eyes closed, he swam up from the depths of unconsciousness, aware of feeling extraordinarily happy. A sigh came from the pillow next to his.

  Katie. Last night hadn’t been a dream.

  He reached out to stroke her hair. His hand paused above her temple then retracted, letting her sleep. A wave of tenderness swept over him as he recalled last night when he’d touched her scar. He hated that she’d had to go through that. That he hadn’t been with her the whole way.

  Normally he wasn’t one to shy away from confrontation. How else did a person air their thoughts and feelings and find out what the other felt? But having told her about a possible move to Tinman Island, he wasn’t looking for any additional tension. He wanted to cement their emotional bond before they tested the strength of their feelings. During this time at the cottage, he hoped to build new memories that would erase some of the bad ones.

  He got out of bed quietly and dressed. Peaking into Tuti’s room, he found her looking at a picture book in bed. When she saw him she started to speak. John put a finger over his lips to shush her and came inside to sit on the bed.

  “Katie’s sleeping. Let’s be quiet until she gets up, okay?”

  Tuti nodded. “Is it raining?”

  “Yes.” He ruffled her already bed-mussed hair. “Don’t worry. The weather is supposed to clear up later. We’ll get you out on that boogie board this afternoon.”

  She gave him an odd look and sank deeper into the covers. “I’m going to read till it’s warm.”

  “Good plan.”

  He left her, made a pit stop in the bathroom and carried on to the kitchen where he put on the kettle for coffee. Pushing aside the curtains, he gazed on to gray skies, a gray ocean and a fine but steady rain. This time of year the temperature was like that, up and down.

  If they were living on Tinman Island, it would be hot all the time. Tuti would like that. It would make her feel at home. If they moved there she would have to learn to swim. All the local kids would be like little fishes. It was practically un-Australian not to swim. Not to mention dangerous on a small island known for water sports.

  Pleasantly occupied with daydreaming their future, he got out the coffee and spooned grounds into the plunger. Then he pulled out his laptop and checked his email. There was an acknowledgment that his application had been received, promising to get back to him as soon as possible.

  “Bapa, will you do my pigtails?” Tuti stood in the doorway, still in her pajamas.

  “Sure. Go change and I’ll meet you in the bathroom.”

  “Don’t want to change,” she pouted. “Want to stay in my jamas.”

  She’d behaved like a dream so far. He hoped she wasn’t going to act up because Katie was here. Had they somehow ignored her in their focus on each other? He hoped not. The last thing he wanted was for her to become a wedge between him and Katie.

  One thing he had learned in his stint so far as a father—don’t sweat the small stuff. “Come on, then. I’ll do your pigtails. You can get dressed later.”

  * * *

  KATIE STRETCHED luxuriously in bed, feeling pleasantly achy and sated. In the bathroom John and Tuti’s voices were muted but intelligible as they chatted over plans for the day ahead—puzzles, games, books, the beach if it stopped raining and a campfire in the evening.

  It took her a moment to figure out what they were doing in the bathroom. Then she heard John ask Tuti to hand him the brush. Ah, the pigtails. He sounded so relaxed. Clearly he’d mastered the art. He’d come a long way in a very short time as a father. She wouldn’t have believed it if she hadn’t seen it for herself. He had become a different man altogether since Tuti had brought them back together. He’d grown and matured, shown sides of himself she’d hoped existed but hadn’t known for sure. The question was, was he a man she could see herself with long term?

  On a practical side, their lives would mesh well, especially if he got the job on Tinman Island. Last night she’d overheard John tell Tuti they couldn’t bother her during the day because she had to work. He got it, he really did.

  She glanced at the bedside clock and groaned. It was after nine. This was the first day of their week here and already she’d slept in. Usually she was at the laptop or her sketch pad by seven.

  John poked his head inside the bedroom. “Ah, you’re awake. Ready for coffee?”

  Tuti’s head—with perfect pigtails—ducked under John’s arm. “I won’t bug you, I promise. Will you read me a story?”

  Katie laughed. “Bring me the book. One story then we’ll get up, okay?”

  Despite the slow start Katie got a lot of work done that morning. John set up a card table beneath the window in the bedroom for her. He made her breakfast, brought her coffee then lunch. When the clouds cleared midmorning, through the window she watched Tuti and John cross the road to the beach for a walk along the sand. John’s blond hair glinted in the sun. Tuti skipped to keep up with his long stride, her laughter lifted and tossed by the gusty breeze. Could the three of them be a family? It all seemed too idyllic, too good to be true.

  Why shouldn’t good things be true? Why was she always waiting for the other shoe to drop and something really bad to happen to her? She’d fought cancer and survived. She’d made a life for herself. Why shouldn’t she find happiness with the man she loved?

  Just for a moment she allowed herself to entertain the idea of marrying John, of planning a future together. The thought was solid and warm and comforting. But she didn’t want to rush into anything. They needed to get to know each other properly again. For now having John and Tuti in her life was enough. She certainly didn’t want a repeat of their fight on Tuti’s birthday. She needed to know that when they had differences they would talk things out and resolve them calmly and with mutual respect.

  In the afternoon, John stopped by her makeshift desk and pressed a kiss on her cheek. “How is your writing day? Did you get much done?”

  She slipped an arm around his waist. “Surprisingly yes.”

  “Why surprisingly?” He pushed her hair off her face before tracing a fingertip down her cheek and along her jaw.

  “Because all I could think about was you.” She wound her arms around his neck and leaned up to kiss him.

  “Oh, yeah?” John teased. “Every time I popped in you had your head down. Wouldn’t even talk to me. Is that how it’s going to be from now on? Because I’m not sure I like playing second fiddle to a computer.”

  From now on. Three little words that said I love you almost more than a marriage proposal. Despite her romantic daydreams the words caused a panicked flutter in her chest, reminding her that this interlude was temporary, that soon she might have to make firm decisions about the future. It was one thing to fantasize about
an exotic island adventure, another to actually pull up stakes and move across the country. Last night she’d been caught up in the excitement. This morning, doubts were creeping in. Doubts she was afraid to express because John wanted the move so badly.

  “A girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do. What are you and Tuti doing this afternoon?”

  “Going to the beach. Do you want to come?”

  “Yes, that sounds great.” She stood and stretched the kinks out of her shoulders and lower back. “If you want to go surfing I’ll look after Tuti. She and I can explore the tidal pools at the point.”

  “Thanks, but I’m going to teach her to boogie board. If we move to Tinman Island she’ll need to improve her water skills.”

  Katie rummaged in her suitcase for her swimsuit. “But you wouldn’t force her if she really didn’t want to, would you?”

  “Just because you never got into surfing doesn’t mean she won’t like it.” He put his arms around Katie. “The only way to get past fear is to go through it. I’m a patient teacher. Don’t you remember?”

  “I remember almost drowning when you took me out too far the first time.”

  “You were never in danger of drowning. I was right there. Just as I will be at Tuti’s side the entire time.” He kissed her. “Trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

  She grinned against his mouth. “Famous last words.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  JOHN SLAPPED KATIE on the ass just to hear her squeal, then laughed out loud because he hadn’t felt so good in ages. When she pulled her shirt over her head to get changed he contemplated wrestling her onto the bed.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” she said, laughing. “You said we’re going to the beach. You get Tuti ready and I’ll get some snacks together.”

  Ten minutes later he was leading the way across the road and down the sandy path through the dunes to the beach. The sand was cool underfoot and damp from the rain but the sun was hot on his head and shoulders, promising warmth for the rest of the day.

  The path opened onto the beach. The bay stretched wide and blue beneath a clear sky. Pelicans flapped their huge wings low over the water. Small rollers hit the hard-packed sand with regularity. Perfect.

  At the water’s edge he dropped his towel and board and waded into the shallows where foam crept across the sand. “Tuti, come and see the crabs.”

  “What’s a crab?” Tuti ran down to the water and crouched to peer at the tiny green crustaceans scuttling to their holes.

  Katie picked her way daintily to the water’s edge and waded out to him. He was about to reach for her when she bent over. Scooping a double handful of water, she splashed him, making him dance at the breathtaking chill on his groin.

  “You’ll pay for that.” He picked her up and she shrieked, and kept on shrieking as he carried her out to waist-deep water and dumped her.

  She went under and came up sputtering and laughing. First she feinted, then lunged. He let her take him under, their limbs a tangled slither of bare skin. When they came up Tuti was bouncing in the water knee-deep, waving her arms. “I want to splash, too.”

  John picked her up and carried her out. “Hold your breath.” Her cheeks puffed out and she pinched her nose. He dropped her just above the water, making sure he pulled her up again immediately. She blew a jet of water, giggling. Her pigtails dripped and she wriggled out of his arms, falling back into the water. Katie brought her to the surface again, both of them giggling.

  He caught Katie’s eye. See, she loves the water.

  Out of breath from exertion and laughing, the three of them found their way to shallower water.

  John clapped his hands. “Okay, Tuti, time to put your wet suit on and try the boogie board.”

  Her little face, a second ago bright and glistening, wreathed in smiles, instantly shadowed. John looked up at the sky almost expecting to see that a cloud had covered the sun. No clouds, but the atmosphere had definitely chilled. Even Katie became subdued, retreating farther up the beach to grab a towel.

  Tuti shook her head. “Don’t want to wear a wet suit. Don’t want to boogie board.”

  “The suit keeps you warm,” John said patiently. “And it protects you from sand and board rashes.”

  Tuti shook her head again and glanced at Katie. Great. She knew Katie was a soft touch and was relying on her to intercede. Well, it wasn’t going to work.

  “Tuti, you’re going to put on your wet suit.” He stood behind her and physically picked up her legs and put them into the suit. It was like stuffing cooked spaghetti into a tube. “Boogie boarding is fun. Don’t you want to have fun?”

  Tuti shook her head. He zipped up her suit and turned her around, chagrined to see her eyes wet with unshed tears she was battling to contain. He felt awful. But he couldn’t back down now or she would never get over her fear.

  Katie stood off to one side, her arms crossed over her stomach, an unhappy frown pulling her mouth. He wished she’d stayed at the cottage if she was going to be so negative.

  He led Tuti into the shallows beyond the breaking waves and reviewed what he’d taught her in Bali about swimming. “Well done,” he said when she’d floated on her back, and on her front and dog-paddled ten yards. “Now go get your board and bring it into the water.”

  Tuti ran through the foaming waves and up onto the sand. But instead of getting her board she veered off a little way down the beach and crouched to pick up a shell buried in the hard sand.

  His jaw set, he waded through thigh-deep water after her.

  Katie met him at the water’s edge. “She doesn’t want to.”

  “She just needs a little coaxing. How can she know she doesn’t like it until she does it?”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I’m going after her, of course.”

  Katie hurried after him. She grabbed his arm. “And make her go boogie boarding? I can’t believe you’d do that.”

  He stopped walking. “If you’d been more supportive she might not have run off.”

  “I think you’re pushing her too hard. She doesn’t like how the board wobbles and tips her off. I was watching. It scares her. Why not let her take lessons from a qualified teacher?”

  “That’s your answer to everything. Bring in the professionals. My dad taught me to boogie board. Tuti can learn from me. She’s going to have to be adept at water sports if we move to Tinman Island.”

  Katie frowned. “Maybe Tinman Island isn’t the best place for a girl who’s afraid of ocean waves.”

  What was she really saying? Had she changed her mind about wanting to go with him? “A child can learn anything.”

  “She’s not likely to get over her fear if you’re pushing the boogie board on her.”

  “She’s my kid. I know what’s best for her.”

  “Oh, really? Is that the way it’s going to be?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  The wind blew strands of her dark hair across her eyes. “Maybe we’re not ready for Tinman Island.”

  “You mean, you’re not ready. I get that it’s all happening in a rush but sometimes you have to grab opportunities when they come up. I don’t want to pressure you. But I would like an agreement in principle before I have to make the hard decisions.”

  “You might not want to pressure me but the fact is, you are—”

  John cut her off with an upraised hand as he glanced around. “Where’s Tuti?”


  “Oh, no.” Katie spun around, shielding her eyes from the sun with her hand. “I can’t see her anywhere.”

  John swore. The empty beach stretched away in a curving bay to the rocky point and the tidal pools. How could she have gotten out of sight so quickly?

  “Maybe she went behind the dunes,” Katie said.

  “Tuti!” John called. There was no one else on the beach. She would be perfectly safe as long as she didn’t go in the water unaccompanied—which hardly seemed likely—but she was only six, after all. “Maybe she went back to the cottage.”

  “Wherever she is, I’m sure she’s all right.” Katie was trying to be calm but he could hear the tremor in her voice.

  “Tuti!” he called again, louder. No answer. “You go back along the path through the dunes. I’ll run along the beach. If she’s not at the cottage—” He didn’t want to think about that. “If you find her, yell out. Otherwise, I’ll meet you at the end of the beach.”

  His feet pounded over the hard sand near the waterline, his gaze scanning water and beach. How could he have lost her? If Katie hadn’t started arguing—no, it wasn’t fair to blame her. Tuti was his daughter. He was responsible for her. He never should have allowed her to roam freely on the beach. But that’s what kids did. It was all the more reason for her to learn water safety.

  He wouldn’t panic. They would find her. She would be all right. Even if she went in the water it was relatively calm with no rip. But there was no lifeguard, either.

  Please don’t let her have gone in the water alone.

  She might simply be crouching out of sight, among the dunes. He slogged through the soft sand, warm now from the sun, to the top of a sandy ridge. Nothing but tufts of grass. No place for even a small girl to hide.