Back in the Rain

by Elen Chase

  "Don't worry, it'll heal soon," I said, tracing the delicate line of his jaw with my fingers.

  "It's not just that… You lost weight." He passed his hands on my chest, to my waist, then something captured his attention. He took my hand in his and looked carefully at my wrist, where the small scar left by that glass piece I had used to cut my veins was still visible. "You did this?" he asked me.

  "I had a little breakdown after you left," I confessed him.

  "It's my fault."

  "Dan, no, it just had to happen. It helped me understand a lot of things, like how precious you are to me. I've been thinking of you every moment since you went away, and when I finally learned what had happened to you and Shallie, I… felt completely powerless."

  "That’s how I feel too," he murmured and passed his arms around my neck in a sweet, needy hug. I placed my hands on his hips and pulled him closer, to have him sit on my lap, then I secured my arms around him and closed my eyes.

  "Tell me more, Dan. Tell me anything, but please, talk to me."

  His grip tightened around me, his body desperately pressing on mine. He took a short breath and finally found the courage to speak to me. "I wanted to be with you until you had your plan to get them arrested ready. I knew it was just a matter of time until you found out about me, but I wanted to be with you until the last second. After that, I was planning to leave. I was sure you would have never forgiven me, but I thought I was ready for it. Then you started over-thinking and said you wanted to kill those men, and I panicked; I don't want you to become a murderer."

  "I know, I’m sorry about that," I whispered to him and kissed his neck just below his left ear.

  "So I decided I'd rather take your place. Right after that, you found out about An… The more you were getting closer to the truth, the more you were slipping away from me. I could have confessed everything or waited for you to find out, but I was scared of your reaction. Even if I thought I was ready to face your hatred… it hurt enough already to see you so disappointed in me when we went to Ms. Wilson's place. Our fight broke me down completely. In a state of confusion, I rushed back home and started searching among the things I had brought back from the rehabilitation center. Then I found that knife. I didn't know it was there. Or more like, I had known it was there at some point, but I had forgotten about it. I remembered, slowly, as I was holding it in my hands. Bart had stolen it from them and hid it in his coat. He put that coat on my shoulders the last time I saw him, when he saved me and Shallie from Colten and told me to run away from that place. When I arrived to the center, I was out of my mind, I was afraid, and I didn’t trust anyone. I think I hid the knife somewhere in my room. I don't remember where, and I don’t remember putting it back in the coat before leaving. But that's where it was. It’s been in my house all along, and even when we found out they were searching for it, it didn’t ring a bell. Ms. Wilson died and regret was killing me, Drew… If I had just remembered sooner…"

  "Dan," I held him stronger and laid a kiss on his forehead, "is this why you left?"

  "I thought I could use the knife to get in the sect again… but not only that. After I remembered, I was afraid there could be more things I forgot about. I see nightmares, in which I kill Shallie or Bart, or Colten is still alive. My hands are covered in blood and I hear their voices telling me they’ll never forgive me. It’s all so real, and I start doubting my own memories. When I think that, my head hurts and I can't breathe… I'm losing my head… I'm scared."

  "I'll be with you from now on. I'll tell you what is real or not," I told him. He released our hug, his hands on my chest, holding on to my shirt. Then he moved his fingers to my earring.

  "Where did you find it?" he asked.

  "Colten had stolen it from you. The servants found it after he died." I tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear and uncovered the other one of the pair on his earlobe. "Can I keep it?" I smiled at him. "At the jewelry store you said the brilliant red looks good on me."

  "It does." He smiled back at me. "You went to the center, right?"

  "Yes, your uncle showed me your clinic cartels." His body stiffened and he looked at the ground. "I asked him to show me," I explained, twining my fingers with his. "I wanted to know everything about you."

  "You saw all of that," he whispered, closing his eyes as if he was in pain.

  "I'm glad I did," I told him. "What did you plan to do tonight?"

  "In the past days I stole their access code to the bunker. I wanted to wait for them inside and shoot them all as they came in."

  "I see," I said.

  "And you? What's your plan?" he asked.

  "I have a camera inside. Also the door code, Finnick gave it to me. As soon as they start, the entire web will see what they're doing, and police and journalists will come here. Will you come with me to see how it ends?"

  "Yes," he said.

  "Did they treat you well?"

  "They were suspicious of me, but they never hurt me. Their boss, David Jacques, questioned me a lot of times. He's mad, but in a different way than Colten. He created this second sect together with Julian Robinson, Bart's uncle, when they were around our age, maybe a little older. I think they were searching for something to believe in, something of their own. Talking to him, I think I could understand what passed through his head a little; he wanted to do something that would make them believe they had made the world a better place, in their own way, the two of them. A secret tying them together, something they could share with no one else. Living a lie, uncovering their true nature only to each other, once every seven years. Julian died young, but David kept the sect alive. I think he didn't want to put their creature to an end."

  "Sounds like something two lovers would do."

  "Who knows… but it makes me think a little bit of us." I knew what he was talking about; be that as it may, if he hadn't stopped me, I was about to die with him. "I understand why you freed Cruise, but that man is dangerous," he said. "What are we gonna do about him?"

  "He’s back at Jim’s," I said. "It’s true I gave him the chance, but somehow I knew he wouldn't run away. He’s got nothing in his mind but his poisons, and he’s got no place to go back to but his laboratory. That’s where Ray and Nick found him. He didn’t rat me out, and I believe he won’t, even later on."

  "You trusted him? You're still trusting him? This is crazy."

  "I know, but I can feel that he tried to share something with me in his own way. He just wanted somebody to understand his point of view, and he thought that somebody was me. I only feel bad for Jim and Bill. I'll have to pay them back for all the security cameras I broke to make him escape."

  "I'll help you with that." He was just a little more relaxed than before. He was so beautiful that I couldn't stop my heart from racing every time our eyes met. I passed my hands on his face.

  "Dan, I'm going to kiss you now."

  "Why are you announcing it?" He blushed slightly. I got closer to him, and his lips parted under mine. I took his lower lip in my mouth, sucking and licking it slowly. It was silky and wet, and this time it tasted just like him. The kiss deepened as his tongue naturally slipped in my mouth. All my body tensed up from the shaking pleasure he was giving me, and I started sweating. I drew him closer, my fingers in his hair, his hands on my back, holding tight to me. Our bodies joined in a restless hug, our synchronized breathing aching with desire.

  Disappointment spread under my skin when he slowly took his tongue out of my mouth, ending our kiss. Breathless, I looked at him and understood that was for the best; another second and we would have never been able to stop, bringing it definitely too far.

  We stayed there a little longer, talking, then we headed for the other side of the graveyard to assist with the end of that sect.

  Chapter 74

  We found Sean’s minivan already parked at the back entrance of the cemetery: our meeting point. "Drew, they'll start soon, where the hell have you bee—?" he screamed coming out of the van, after seeing
me from the rear view mirror, and stopped talking as soon as he noticed that Dan was with me. I passed my arm around Dan's shoulders, pulled him closer and made the sign of victory with the other hand.

  "Just went to take back my boyfriend," I beamed. Sean smiled back at me, and Dan was probably too confused to be able to say anything.

  "Andrew, it’s nice to see you again," said Walker as he came toward us. He was with a police officer. "This is my friend Harrison, the one who gave me that hint about Mr. Robinson's car."

  We shook hands and the man said, "I'll call for reinforcements as soon as this ritual starts; we'll put an end to this."

  "Thank you," I said.

  "Hey kid," a man's harsh voice called me suddenly. It was Chloe's father. "I brought that man, Tyler, to the police station like you asked me. I still couldn't believe it was all true, and I came here... You!" he exclaimed when he saw Dan by my side. "Listen to me!"

  I didn't want him to say anything that could hurt him, so before he could talk again I interrupted him, "Thank you, sir, now I'm sorry but we have to go take a look at what they're doing inside that bunker. Feel free to stay as long as you want," I said, and I grabbed Dan by his arm and brought him away from him, inside Sean’s van.

  "You gathered so many people," commented Dan when we were alone, "and they haven't even started the ritual yet."

  "Uhm? Do you think I shouldn't have?" I asked him.

  "It's not that," he said. "I just think you're amazing." I felt my face turn burning hot and didn't know what to say.

  "If you praise him like that, you're gonna give him a heart attack," said Sean, handing a bottle of water to Dan. "It's good you came back."

  "Thank you," replied Dan, accepting the water. He was evidently feeling uneasy being there, considering he probably thought he would never meet the others again.

  "You didn't bring some for me too?" I asked Sean.

  "Too spoiled, go get it yourself," he replied. "And what's with that face? Did you fight with a cat on your way back or something?"

  "It's starting," said Dan, looking at Sean's monitor, the one connected to the camera inside the bunker. Sean and I ran to it, and he pressed a key on the keyboard to start airing it all over the internet. I turned my watchpad on and went on several social networks to confirm it was working. In a few seconds those images were on display, for all of Rosedeer, no, for the whole world to see. His gaze fixed on the video, Dan seemed anxious, and I held his hand strong, hoping to give him courage. Inside the bunker, the victim had been sedated with some sort of drug and was sleeping on the altar. It was hard to watch; I couldn't help thinking that An and Shallie were destined to live that very same experience before dying. And that after they failed with An, another girl had to go through that. Dan was probably feeling it even more than me; he had been fighting them for seven long years, and he had been so close to them. So close to Shallie during those days.

  The sect priests were standing in circle around the altar. The candles I had seen on the floor when I had gone there were lit, and, together with the red carpet and curtains they had prepared, were creating an atmosphere typical of a horror movie. Their boss signed the beginning of the ritual by saying something, but his voice was too low to hear. After he finished his speech, all of them began to recite words that at first resembled a sort of mantra. I put my headphones on and closed my eyes to focus on what they were saying. After a while I finally recognized the verses of the last movement of the third cycle of the book; the part where the young woman decides to take her own life as a self punishment for forgetting the man she loved.

  When will the police come? It's been just minutes, and I can't bear it anymore already.

  “Sean, is somebody here yet?” I asked nervously.

  “Drew, give them time,” he said. “It’ll be alright, don’t worry.”

  “Is somebody keeping an eye on the other exit?” asked Dan.

  “Walker and his friend are already there. That’s where they’ll try to escape from, and it’s also the place their assistants are waiting,” said Sean. That included Finnick. I hadn’t described to him exactly what we were going to do, but I knew he was waiting, exactly like me, for it to end. I found myself hoping he wouldn't ruin everything because of impatience. Because I was certainly getting impatient too.

  “Somebody’s here!” screamed Chloe’s father at us from outside the van. Sean went out to see who that was and began to explain the situation to them. He later came back, telling us it was two young journalists. Right after that, I heard the siren of a police car approaching. I was curious to go there and talk to them, but at the same time I couldn’t keep my eyes off that screen. What if something went wrong? How long were they going to stay there and talk? Inside the bunker Domme was now continuing the ritual, holding his pendant with the seven pointed star above his head. The camera had definitely recorded all of their faces, so they had no way to deny their presence in that bunker afterward. But the victim hadn’t been saved yet, and I was scared we were running out of time.

  “Drew, go talk with the police,” Dan told me, bringing me back to reality. “You’re the only one who was in that bunker before. You have to explain to them how to get inside. Don’t get scared now.”

  He was right, as always. I went out of the van in a sort of a daze, and as I got down I realized the police had already delimited the area all around the back entrance of the cemetery and part of the street. Behind their yellow tape, a small crowd had started gathering. Police officers came to talk to me, and I had no choice but to answer their questions, even though I would have rather kept watching what was going on inside. When they finally let me go and were about to burst in and arrest them all, I saw Dan looking at the crowd with a strange expression on his face.

  "Dan, is something wrong?" I asked him.

  "Drew… I thought I saw something," he said. "Must be my imagination."

  The police used the code the soldier had given me to enter the bunker. The first ones to get caught were the assistants, who were guarding the entrances. Finnick entered the hall from the other door, together with the police, and immediately ran to his sister and took her in his arms. She was safe. I let out a sigh of relief, releasing a lot of anxiety and stress. I immediately looked around to search for Dan and Sean, but I couldn't see them. I relaxed, thinking they were probably busy answering the police's questions, like it had happened to me before. Then I got close to the exit of the bunker and met Finnick there, who was carrying his sister out.

  "You did it, brat," he said with a bitter, yet honest smile on his face. "If the world collapses now, we'll know it was your fault."

  "If the world collapses now, at least she'll get to see it with her own eyes," I replied. “You’ll go to jail, but you did the right thing.”

  “She’ll never forgive me.” His eyes fell upon the girl, still asleep in his arms. “But knowing she’s safe is enough for me.”

  “You know, there’s one thing I’ve been wanting to ask you. At the Palace Hotel, how did you understand it was me?”

  “After you got Tyler, I gathered some information about you. I looked for any detail that could help me recognize you. You have a white birthmark on the right side of your neck. When I saw you staring at me that morning at the hotel, I walked toward you to check if it was there. Then I waited for you to do your move.”

  I instinctively touched my neck. That birthmark was almost invisible, to the point not even Dan had thought of covering it. Finnick was incredible for figuring out my identity only from that, but at the same time he never realized I drugged Domme. Or maybe he did and pretended not to see?

  An ambulance arrived to carry the girl to the hospital, while the other members of the sect were coming out of the bunker one at a time. Each one of them stopped for a moment to look at me and Finnick, saying nothing. Some had a confident face; they were probably sure they were still in time to save face and job and sure to have enough money to buy their freedom. Others showed me a visceral hatred, and
I could almost feel how they were cursing me to death from their murderous gaze. The last to come out was the boss: the chief of the police, David Jacques. The founder. The origin of everything.

  "You..." he murmured, staring at Finnick, his assistant and right hand man; he didn't seem angry or disappointed. He looked sad instead, a man who had just lost everything. His sect, his job, his power, the trust of his men. He moved his eyes on me. "Andrew Lowell," he said my name, and I wasn't expecting it. "Did you get your revenge?" he asked me.

  I shook my head. "It wasn't revenge that I wanted," I told him. "I've always known that I will never have my sister and my girlfriend back, even if I killed you. Now I took everything from you, but this was never meant as revenge. This doesn't make me feel better, and it doesn't ease my pain for my losses. This is just the least I could do to give them justice, to honor their memory. I don't expect to magically erase all the hurt that you caused. All I want is a world worthy of the people I love: a place where we can start again, where we can build something together, without you to dirty it."

  "A small, perfect, private world just for you," he said. "It seems we wanted the same thing in the end."

  "It's not the same," I told him. "I have no need to hurt anybody to keep my friends or the person I love by my side."

  “Is he the one who brought us the knife?” he asked me, but he didn’t wait for me to reply. "Must be nice, this way of living." He looked deeply in my eyes. "I guess we should have learned how to do that when we were your age."

  An officer escorted him to a police car to bring him to the station. As soon as the piercing sound of the sirens disappeared in the distance, I began to hear the confused mix of loud voices coming from the crowd behind my back. I needed to see Dan. Where did he go?

  “Andrew, finally, I need to talk to you,” Chloe’s father told me. He seemed to have been looking for me for a while. “It’s about him, that Dan,” he said, and I didn’t really feel like hearing him talk shit about him.

  “I’m sorry, sir, I’m looking for somebody now,” I tried to avoid him.