Married But Available

by B. Nyamnjoh

  “I imagine he does,” volunteered Lilly Loveless, anticipating pay back time.

  “Ted had Miriam’s keys so he used to stop by in her absence to have his meals or to rest since Miriam, he believed, was a better cook and knew his taste better than the woman he was married to. Well, more money was given for food so Miriam could be extravagant in preparing food and she knew this was the best way to keep Ted around her. You know the saying about getting to a man through his stomach.”

  Lilly Loveless nodded.

  “Miriam and Ted had a really good life together,” continued Britney, “until things started becoming difficult for Ted. No contracts, no easy cash and with very little savings and the demands of his family, Miriam’s finances also had to be cut and her lifestyle had to change. Miriam, already used to top crust living, could not imagine the drop in her standard of living. She all the same tried to manage for the first few months. This was too difficult.”

  “It doesn’t take long to acquire the tastes of status, does it?” Lilly Loveless mocked.

  “Luckily, at least from the point of view of her hunger, a big shot with a really posh car came along. Although much older, he was more settled and had invested. Miriam could not let the opportunity go so she started giving Ted excuses, complaining of late classes and too much work at the university. Even on Sundays when Ted used to send his wife and children to church so he could spend time with her, was now out; Miriam herself claiming a newly discovered religiosity as the born-again Christian she purported she had become.

  “Miriam now prepared no food and had most of her meals out with her new found love in expensive hotels where they often rested.”

  “Actively wresting?” asked Lilly Loveless, wishing she had Britney’s lips to accentuate the ‘w’ in ‘resting.’

  Britney just smiled and continued. “Ted would wait for hours at her place and go away totally disappointed and consumed by anger and anxiety. When he met Miriam by chance she had good excuses to give. The little money that Ted could raise from small contracts here and there, he still lavished the greater part of on Miriam. But to no avail.”

  “Despite the fact that he had a family and despite the fact that he apparently rarely saw Miriam and no longer ate her meals?” asked Lilly Loveless, trying to keep things straight in her mind.

  “Yes, he kept pouring in by now meagre investments. But eventually, Ted soon got tired of the hide-and-seek game, so he decided to spend the night at Miriam’s once, and to his greatest dismay, Miriam was dropped off at an unholy hour by a posh car. Ted let her in and immediately bolted the door after her and removed the key. That night, he gave Miriam the sort of beating one would give a poisonous snake.”

  “Things took a real turn,” observed Lilly Loveless, uncomfortable with the lack of imagination by the men of Mimboland in dealing with infidelity. To her, resorting to physical violence was too easy a solution, and indeed, testimony of the insecurities felt by Mimbo men vis-à-vis Mimbo women and the freedoms they aspired and inspired.

  “A turn for the worse,” agreed Britney. “Miriam’s friends managed to take her to the hospital next day. She could not explain to anybody the cause of her swollen face and wounds. She lied to some of her friends she got involved in an accident but whereabouts she could not say. Ray, her new found love got to know Miriam was sick but when he came to check at her place, he could not see her. Miriam was hiding in one of her friends’ rooms, because she couldn’t think of explaining to Ray her infidelity.”

  “Catch 22,” said Lilly Loveless.

  “She tried for days to avoid him and finally gave up, so she was forced to tell him a doctored version of what had happened. Ray had Ted arrested and detained.”

  “Really?” asked Lilly Loveless. “He had that much power?”

  “Yes, but Ted’s friends managed to get him released. Ted immediately went off while Miriam was at school and emptied the house and left, saying: ‘What does she want? I give her everything, even sex every week’. He left a note for her to tell the tycoon to furnish the house for her. Miriam again corrupted the story. How could she tell Ray the whole story without compromising their relationship? Thieves had broken in and swept her house dry, she told Ray.”

  “Ray. Ray of hope, I hope.”

  “Anyway,” continued Britney, ignoring the comment by Lilly Loveless, “this Ray took up the challenge to get the house set up for Miriam and even better. As soon as Miriam started getting the house set up, Ted again surfaced and pleaded with Miriam for forgiveness and to get back the things. Miriam said it was all over and she had bought new things. She told him vehemently she did not want to see him again.”

  “And that was the end of Ted?” asked Lilly Loveless.

  “Not at all,” said Britney. “Ted left but determined to deal with Miriam. He started spying on Miriam and beating her up whenever he met her with her friends, saying she stole his money his money and escaped. Miriam got fed up with trying to ask his friends to advise him so she took the matter with the gendarmes. Ted was called in for questioning, where he asked for some money to be refunded him by Miriam. Miriam then promised to bring his money on a date agreed upon.”

  “Did that put an end to things?” asked Lilly Loveless.

  “No. Ted did not stop harassing her. He would make unannounced visits to Miriam’s home. This forced Miriam to move house. Ted, not able to trace her new home, spent idle hours around the campus, when classes were about closing to get details of Miriam and her new environment. Sometimes when he saw Miriam he would follow her, spraying insults as he went along.”

  “He stalked her,” noted Lilly Loveless incredulously.

  “He did. And Miriam again went to the gendarmes but unfortunately for her the matter was now given to Ted’s relative to handle. So when she brought her report and some part of the money to pay in, Ted’s relative gave Miriam a good dressing down and insulted her well. ‘How do you expect respect when you cripple a man financially in the name of love and walk away shamelessly in the name of love?’ the policeman asked her with a tongue as bitter as bile. Miriam then left in shame since a whole crowd had gathered round to hear all that transpired.”

  “And Ray, what rays did he bring to bear?” Lilly Loveless continued to play with the name of Miriam’s new love.

  “Miriam decided to tell Ray who then took it up as a case. Miriam brought in medical documents to substantiate Ted’s aggressiveness towards her. Ted was now warned and asked to pay some money for the damage caused Miriam.”

  “How long did this ping pong go on? What happened next?”

  “That’s all I know for now, Lilly Loveless,” said Britney opening her eyes wide, lifting her shoulders slightly and shaking her head back and forth.

  Lilly Loveless, realizing she would not know the fate of Miriam, waved to catch the attention of the waitress so they could request another round of drinks. Those who had come to eat lunch had departed for other occupations. Others who came just to have a drink and shoot the breeze were not in a hurry to leave. There were multiple conversations going on, but it was at the table where Britney and Lilly Loveless were seated that words were being recorded digitally and stories and situations recounted to be studied in more depth later.

  ***

  “Let me tell you about this married friend of mine,” said Britney, bringing the glass of grapefruit juice that had just been brought to the table to her lips for a sip and setting it back down. “She makes her living doing manicures and pedicures. She goes into people’s homes to do the work, you see. There was this one couple she would service once a month. But once the man called her on her cell phone for an appointment, when the girl knew his wife was out of town that month. Nonetheless, she stopped by to give the manicure and pedicure. When she opened the door he was in a towel.”

  Lilly Loveless burst out with, “Just what type of manicure was he expecting?”

  “Well,” continued Britney, “the girl tried to look the other way and set her equipment in the sitting
room where she usually did the work.”

  “Really?” asked Lilly Loveless.

  “Had it been me,” Britney insisted, “I would have been gone. But anyway, the man had the nerve to invite her into the bedroom. It was only at this point that she fully realized the scheme. She collected her equipment and left as quickly as she could. When the girl told her husband about this, he forbade her from taking on male clients.”

  “I bet he would,” remarked Lilly Loveless.

  “About a month later, my friend received a call from the man’s wife, for their regular appointment. She went. And she started the woman’s feet soaking for the pedicure and was sorting out her equipment and assortment of oils, creams and scrubs when she started telling a story, acting like it happened quite a while ago with another client. She explained how this male client – in a neighbourhood on the other side of town she said – tried to lure her into his bedroom. The woman found the story amusing and wanted my friend to continue. The man was burning inside. He couldn’t sit still in his seat. My friend wrapped things up by saying to the woman, ‘And after that my husband forbade me from taking on male clients and that’s why I won’t be able to give any more manicures or pedicures to your husband.’”

  “Hmmm,” said Lilly Loveless, “interesting. Do you think that cured him of such behaviour or that he went seeking and scheming for his next opportunity?”

  “How can we know the answers to such questions on an individual basis?” asked Britney. “It’s only in putting many life stories together and studying them that we can understand better and perhaps start to generalize.”

  Lilly Loveless raised her eyes at Britney’s lecture, wondering if bits from the Introduction to Sociology class she had said she was taking at the university were making their way into their conversation.

  Mammy Nyangaa swayed by, checking on her guests. Probably also counting the bottles on the tables before heading out for a few errands.

  ***

  “Let me share one more story,” said Britney, “about Luc and Nadia, and then I have to rush for an appointment with someone leaving for Muzunguland, to take a parcel to Providence.”

  Britney asked for a few minutes to write a quick note to go with the parcel for Providence: ‘Providence, Sweet Heart, here is a little something for you, mostly ingredients for your cooking, and the embroidered shirt and kontri bag you asked for. I decided to put some of the money you sent through Muzungu Union into business. I buy and sell second-hand clothes – shirts, trousers, blouses, skirts, underwear and socks – to students and to customers at Mountain View Hotel. Just don’t want to waste the money. If there is any profit I will be happy, if none, then I would have at least occupied myself than use the money for unimportant things. I started it a week before I got this job with Lilly Loveless (funny name), a nice Muzunguland girl working on – you won’t believe it – Mbomas and Girls. I’m having fun telling her stories. As I told you, my mother and our lovely Pasky were sick and I sent her Mim$300,000 to go to the hospital. I asked her to call me today, but she has not called yet. I am sure you can imagine how much I want to see your charming smile again and kiss you long and hard. The thought of it excites me already and I feel like ... (ha ha). (Remember your parting words to me: ‘You are a beautiful girl Britney, and a lot of men would like to disturb you, be very careful’. So many people are boring me – more on this by email or when you call). I have so much to tell you. I keep dreaming about you advising me on certain issues, especially against doing the wrong thing with men. I will tell you more. I miss you so much you cannot imagine my dear, and I just wish you would hold me in your hands once more and tell me all will be fine in your usual way… Your loving wife, Britney.’ She folded the note with care, inserted it in an envelope and sealed, after turning down Lilly Loveless’ request to know what she had written. “Curiosity kills the cat,” said she, with a playful smile.

  ***

  Back to the story, Britney said, “Luc and Nadia were happily married for ten years. A good tree is known by its fruits, so they say. Even though they had no children, this was never an issue in their relationship. They both worked but Nadia went the extra mile to keep the family comfortable by doing business. She travelled to Muzunguland and elsewhere quite often for business, a sort of buyam-sellam international. As the eldest child of her family she had a big responsibility to bring up her younger siblings. They both had younger members of their families living with them. Quite often Nadia had small misunderstandings with Luc’s sisters, especially when Luc’s mother came to visit. Despite the misunderstandings, Luc was still himself and never ever sided with his sisters or mother. Quite often he comforted Nadia and reassured her of his love.

  “Sounds like a nice guy,” noted Lilly Loveless.

  “They were both Christians and God-fearing,” Britney continued. “The issue of a child was always discarded by Luc when Nadia felt unhappy or uncomfortable. Luc quite often comforted her by saying a child was God’s gift and if it does not come, this should not create a problem in their lives. Even to Nadia’s friends Luc would tell them to assure Nadia that a child is not the most important thing. Their lives could still be happy without children. This reassured Nadia who could for no reason think or ever believe Luc was not honest. He had never been unfaithful and was always loving and caring. From work he always came back home for the family to eat together after which they rested. He was not a drinking type so he spent very little time out of his home and most often when he went out, it was for sports. Even on Sundays when it was common for Mimbo men to declare: ‘We send our wives and children to church to pray for us, while we go to the bars with our friends,’ Luc was most likely to be found in church and thereafter at home playing Ludo or Scrabble with Nadia, and generally feeling good in the company of the woman he loved best.”

  “All is smooth sailing,” Lilly Loveless interjected. “Let’s hope it stays that way.”

  “On the surface, yes, but badness has a way of playing games with goodness in this world of ours,” said Britney. “This, perhaps, might explain why Nadia, in her subconscious, remained uncertain, as she would dream weird dreams in which she would tell a perfect stranger such impossible things as, ‘I don’t love you enough to marry you, but I need you to get me pregnant.’”

  “A clear sign her problem had become psychological.”

  Britney nodded. “Luc sustained an injury in the course of doing sports one morning. This became so serious that he had to be transferred out of his station to see a specialist. He had to undergo an operation which was successful. He soon returned from hospital but could not do any strenuous sports. The pain persisted, thus he was now a convalescent and had to go constantly for check-ups. He was eventually transferred to be near his doctor to cut down on travel expenses.”

  “I see the rain clouds gathering on the horizon,” said Lilly Loveless.

  Britney looked up, and realizing that Lilly Loveless was speaking metaphorically, continued. “Nadia and the rest of the family could not move with Luc immediately since she needed her own transfer, and the rest of the family had to wait for the end of the academic year. So Luc moved out to his new station to take up office and to make the necessary arrangements for his family to join him. It had to take some six months before all this could be arranged and within this time he paid regular visits to his family.

  “Luc’s transfer took him closer to the rest of his extended family who took care of him while Nadia was away. This brought Luc to the greatest confusion in his life. He started having very funny ideas but since they were strange to him he had an inner conflict and felt sad or miserable. He was now not constant with his visits to Nadia. He tried to send excuses and other persons with the excuse of much work. Nadia could never disbelieve him so she took them for genuine. She decided to visit Luc, but Luc turned it down since he had not found a house and was living with a sister and her husband who were influencing him a lot.”

  “I sniff trouble,” said Lilly Loveless.

&
nbsp; “The sister was married to a divorcee who had no child by his first marriage but she had already had a child of her own. She was much regarded as a queen by her husband and his family. Her husband was one of the big shots in society, and this gave her an influential position now in her own family since she had the economic power to lord over them. Nadia then stayed on and did not visit, but once things were through and Luc got a house he then went off and brought Nadia. It was quite an instant decision because he did not give Nadia much time to inform her friends.”

  “It seems more like he was hoping she wouldn’t accept the invitation,” speculated Lilly Loveless.

  “When they finally settled, Nadia was fast to notice certain new attitudes in Luc. He visited his sister regularly but the sister and her husband hardly returned the visits. Luc’s youngest sister who had spent many years with them went off on holidays to her sister and did not come back. Nadia was a bit startled by this, and when she asked Luc why the little girl had not come back Luc’s reply was, ‘she is more comfortable out there.’ Nadia then decided to go herself and find out, but to her greatest dismay, she was received horribly. Her sister in-law told her off. This bothered her a lot but when she told Luc, he said the sister was just teasing her, and that Nadia should not give heed to what the sister said. Nadia and Luc maintained their relationship but somewhere there was a problem which did not come into light.”

  Boisterous roars came suddenly from a nearby table. Britney and Lilly Loveless glanced over to see Mama Nyangaa arm wrestling with one of the big-bellied beer drinkers. She was putting her whole self into it, at least judging from her behind, and her opponent was breaking out in sweat. As an office worker who sat on the same spot all day and whose only form of exercise was lifting his beer mug, he was no match for Mama Nyangaa, who spends hours a day doing manual labour like pounding corn or yam into fufu. When she finally brought his arm to the table, uproarious yelling and applause filled the eating place as she sauntered back to the kitchen. Mama Nyangaa seemed to have a place in more than one heart there. She had a round of free drinks sent to the table of her opponent, who would certainly drink off defeat with his buddies. All of it seemed to be investment in her business. She even had a round of drinks sent to the table of Lilly Loveless and Britney, they were to discover later the gesture was more of a motherly act than the business decision they thought, knowing their habits and pocketbooks.