Yearning for Love

by Toye Lawson Brown

“Boss, you have a visitor in the office.”

  “Who is it?” He asked mounting another tire on the balancing machine.

  “Jeremy.”

  Without breaking a step, he replied, “Tell him I’m busy.”

  “Boss, he said he’s not leaving until you talk to him.”

  His shoulders dropped. Shaking his head, he might as well get it over with. He didn’t want to make a scene on the job but if pushed by Jeremy, he would stand his ground. He took off the heavy work gloves and goggles. “Frank, finish putting the tires on this car. I’ll be back.”

  Unzipping his coveralls, he tugged his arms from the sleeves tying then around his waist. He could see Jeremy sitting in his office from the waiting room of the Strongsville shop. The bad attitude didn’t take long to overshadow the good mood he’d arrived at work with that morning.

  Walker closed the door with a slam. “What do you want?”

  Jeremy closed the magazine he was reading and stood up. “Walker, I didn’t come here to fight. Please, can we talk like adults?”

  Walker dragged the red bandana protecting his hair from his head. “What you want to talk about, I don’t want to discuss.”

  “We’re brothers, man. We shouldn’t be like this. We had a good relationship.”

  “We had a good relationship until you opened your mouth!” He slammed the scarf on his desk. “I have to give it to you. How you managed to hide your true feelings all these years is impressive.”

  “Why do I have to defend myself, Walker? I said what I did about Nicole and obviously it made no difference to you. I hear she is living with you.”

  “Yeah, she is and I’m glad she is. I have never been happier in my life.”

  “Then there isn’t anything for me to say but congratulations. You’re standing your ground and going for what you want.” Jeremy shoved his hands in the pockets of his expensive suit admiring his brother. He wasn’t an ivory league graduate or wore business suits to the job, but worked with his hands. He wished he had half the body Walker possessed and the balls to throw caution to the wind and go for what he wanted just once.

  Walker answered, “I’m going for what my heart wants. Jeremy, you were raised with everything handed to you. I worked and scraped for what little I had at the time, and I’m not ashamed of it.”

  “Why are you blaming me for that…I tried to help you.”

  Walker felt the veins throbbing in his neck and took a breath to calm down. “I’m not blaming you for being rich, I asking you stop looking at me as a charity case. I’m proud of me and what I have accomplished. I’m paying Mitch the money back and don’t you or Patty, ever go to him on my behalf again. Are we clear about that?”

  Jeremy lowered his head. “It won’t happen again and I’m sorry. I want this to end, and have my brother back in my life. I want to apologize for what I said about your mother. She was very courageous to raise you alone without any help from dad. I have to take him off the pedestal and look at the mistakes he made in life and realize he isn’t perfect.”

  “None of us are perfect, Jeremy. Mitch made a choice, and it was to stay with your family. I’m not mad at you about that.”

  Jeremy snorted, “Enough about that. So, how is Nicole? Is she going to stay in Cleveland?”

  Sitting behind his desk, Walker shuffled the work orders into a neat pile. “I don’t know but I’m hoping she will. It’s nice going home to a hot meal, a clean house, and a warm body to sleep next to at night.”

  Laughing Jeremy raised a hand. “I told you only one woman would be able to provide that and you doubted me.”

  “Right you did. Look, Jeremy; I’m going to ask Nicole to marry me. I don’t know when because she has some issues to deal with in her own life, but I’m not going to wait long. I’ll either have your blessing or not; either way, I’m marrying her.”

  Jeremy sat down. “Well, you leave me no choice but to give you my blessing. Nicole has never done anything to me and for me to prosecute her as I did was wrong. Walker, I know you won’t care, and I only telling you so you’ll have the information. Dad is not doing well.”

  “What’s wrong with him?”

  “He has throat cancer. He’s known for years; it took a turn for the worst shortly after the wedding.”

  “Wow, I’m sorry, Jeremy. Are you handling it okay?”

  “I suspected he would get it the way he smoked. Although I figured, it would be lung cancer. Anyhow, you can tell your mother if you want.”

  He nodded. “I will let her know. Well, I hate to cut this short, but this is a busy day and one of my guys is out today.”

  “I need to get to work also. Why don’t you and Nicole, join me and Patty for dinner tonight at Luigi’s; my treat.”

  “Let me ask and not spring it on her as surprise. I’ll call you later,” Walker said tying the bandana around his head.

  “All right, I’ll wait to hear from you later.”

  Walker returned to work after seeing his brother to the door. The news of his father’s impending death didn’t shock him, and he would not be attending any funeral services when his demise came.

  *****

  Nicole sifted through the boxes in the garage looking for the tote containing her sewing needles. She couldn’t stand looking at the stuffing falling from the arm of Walker’s recliner and had to repair it before it drove her crazy.

  Darn it where is it! Straining to lift a heavy box, the bottom came a part emptying the contents of sewing materials on the garage floor. Great, now I find them! Nicole got down on her hands and knees to clean the mess when a woman’s voice came from the opening of the garage.

  “Hello? Is anyone in here?”

  Nicole peeked over the hood of her car. An older woman’s head barely visible inside the door had not spotted her behind the car. She fisted a hand to her mouth to stifle the expletive from exiting after recognizing the woman. She had not seen Walker’s mother since that dreadful day in Columbus.

  A box fell over giving away her cover. Slowly she rose from behind the car. “Yes, someone is here.” She stepped over the scattered materials on the floor to reach the woman before she left. Walker would be upset to know she’d ignored his mother. Nicole had to brace herself from stumbling over the boxes. This was history in the making for her. She was experiencing an I CARE moment. She was actually caring about how Walker would feel if she rejected his mother.

  “Mrs. Albright, I’m here.” Nicole offered her hand to the older woman, saying, “I don’t know if you remember me…..”

  “I remember you, Nicole” Leslie said curtly not accepting her hand.

  Nicole withdrew her hand. Rolling her tongue against the inside of her cheek to keep from shooting off a sarcastic reply, she was able to conjure a pleasant tone. “All right. Walker isn’t home from work yet.” She checked her watch. “He should be home in about fifteen minutes.”

  Leslie entered the garage slinging her purse on the trunk of Nicole’s car. It landed with a thump and the metal rings and clasps scratched the car’s finish. Leaning a stiff hip against the bumper, she said, “I’m not here to see my son but you.”

  Nicole’s brows formed a straight line. Granted her Silver, 2010 Chevy Malibu wasn’t new, but in pristine condition—it was until the scratches from the imitation Coach handbag left ugly marks on the trunk.

  Nonetheless, disregarding the woman had marred her property; Nicole kept her attitude in check. “Okay, would you like to go inside to talk?’

  “Would I like to go inside? I’ve been coming to my son’s home for years. He even gave me a key to come and go as I please. I stopped using it when Mary Ellen appointed herself lady of the house, and now you are doing the same.”

  “Mrs. Albright, I do not consider myself lady of the house. I was being polite but if you prefer to talk in a dusty garage, I’m okay with that.”

  “It’s Miss Albright, and I’ll get to why I’m here. My first question is what do you want from Walker?”

  Nicole face
d a possible blood curdling confrontation that could easily arise, if her words were misconstrued. Nicole’s neck stiffened as her eyes widened. “Miss Albright, I’m not asking anything from your son. He was gracious enough to let me stay here while I’m in town. Otherwise, we are two SINGLE adults consenting to do what SINGLE adults do.”

  “Are you sure that is all you are doing—” She looked around the garage. “This looks like you are moving in to me.”

  “I get it; you don’t accept my relationship with Walker because of the color of my skin. However, it’s not going to change anything. What we are doing is between us and I’m not going to discuss it with you.”

  Leslie backed off identifying the message Nicole was clearly sending. “Young lady, I’m not implying I’m prejudice or your intention is to take everything my son has. You have to understand his last girlfriend was a wretched woman that left him vulnerable. I don’t want my son to be hurt again.”

  “He told me about Mary Ellen. Miss. Albright, I’m not Mary Ellen. I don’t have kids, or an ex-husband or any ex-boyfriends to crawl from under the woodwork and make a fool of him.”

  “I’m to believe you won’t cause any drama for Walker?”

  Nicole nodded. “I have no reason to lie to you.”

  The old woman raised a frail shoulder under the worn pinkish-gray sweater. “Then what’s wrong with you? You’re pretty and seem sane. You aren’t a lesbian hiding in the closet and using Walker to fool your parents, are you? That won’t solve anything.”

  Nicole shook her head. “No, it wouldn’t and I’m attracted to men.” The lump stuck in her throat; another revelation chipped away at her crumbling wall. She always found certain men attractive. Television was filled with leading men she fantasized being with if she were normal. She’d had a share of wet steamy dreams staring Adam Rodriguez, Mark Wahlberg, and Shemar Moore, to name a few.

  Leslie eased her tone. Her soft voice emoting the love and devotion she had for her son. “Nicole, my son is all I have in this life. If you honestly say you love him, I will walk away and never question this relationship again.”

  Leslie Albright’s question startled the hell out of her. Somehow she managed not to jump out of her skin. There was no way she could answer that question without reasonable time to examine the definition of what love meant to her.

  “Well, that is a loaded question. Walker and I have been together a week and that is not long enough to call ourselves in love.”

  “Just as I thought, you are toying with him until a black man comes along.”

  “You’re so off base; race would not be a factor if were to split.”

  “If you are talking about sex, I don’t want to hear it,” she said covering her ears.

  Although it wasn’t what she was talking about; their copulating played a major role with her achieving a healthy relationship with Walker. Her voice rose slightly as she became agitated with the woman. “I’m not talking about sex either.”

  Leslie took a hold of Nicole’s hand. Her sad eyes warmed. “Honey, I’ve been the other woman. I wasted my whole life wanting a man that didn’t give a damn about me or his child. Please see past Walker’s hospitality and look at what is really happening here. My baby is in love with you. If you aren’t feeling the same for him, don’t play house as a way to string him along; just go about your way.”

  Nicole moved her hand. So far, she enjoyed taking turns cooking meals, cleaning house, pretending to be a married couple. And at night when the lights went out, ohmigod, she thought as an internal quiver originated in her groin. Embarrassed, she crossed one leg over the other to stop the sensation. Running her fingers through her hair, she suggested. “Please, come in the house with me to finish talking. I could use a cup of coffee; how about you?”

  Leslie smiled for the first time since she arrived. “If you make it tea, I’ll find it hard to say no.”

  *****

  Walker pulled into the driveway noticing the garage door open. Killing the engine, he took the three bags of grocery from the passenger’s seat and went inside the house. He walked through the living room towards the kitchen calling for her. “Nicole…..babe, the garage door is open.” He stopped talking and placed the grocery bags on the counter next to the sink. He blinked allowing the site to focus on the two most important women in his life sitting at the kitchen table together. “Umm, what is going on? Mom, what have you done?”

  Leslie got up from the wood kitchen chair to give her son a hug and peck on the cheek. “Relax and breathe, Walker. Nicole and I are only chatting.”

  His eye twitched nervously. “What are you chatting about?” He leaned against the counter bidding to read Nicole’s face, but she wouldn’t lift her head to look at him.

  “We were getting to know each other. Well, I should go; I’m tired. I’ve been here longer than expected, and Nicole has prepared a wonderful dinner for you. She let me taste collard greens for the first time, and they were quite yummy.”

  Nicole finally glanced over his way as she got up from the table. “Leslie, please stay for dinner; I made plenty.”

  Walker raised his brow. Were they on first name basis? What the hell did he miss while he was at work? Nicole was standing next to him at the stove attending to various pots steaming from whatever she was cooking. The aroma filling the kitchen had his stomach growling.

  Scratching the stubby shadow of hair covering his jawline, he agreed with Nicole. “Mom, stay for dinner. Nicole is a fantastic cook. Why don't you go upstairs and lay down until dinner is ready. After dinner, I will drive you home.”

  “Honey, I don’t want to overstay my welcome. You’re just getting home, and all.”

  “Mom, it’s okay,” he assured her. I’ll come get you when dinner is ready.”

  Walker waited until his mother was upstairs before turning to Nicole. “So, you wanna tell me what is going on?”

  Nicole replaced the lid on the pot and went to the cabinet to remove a serving platter and two large serving bowls. “Your mother came to talk to me.”

  “Nicole, I had no idea she was coming over today. When the time was right, I was going to let her know about us.”

  “Walker, it’s okay. I have to get used to stuff like this right?”

  “No, I don’t have relatives dropping by out of the blue. If mom said anything to offend you; I’ll talk to her.”

  “She didn’t,” she said putting the dishes on the table. “Leslie is doing her motherly duty and making sure her son isn’t being played by the mysterious black woman moving in with him.”

  A tension headache ached at the base of his head. He’d planned on telling Leslie about Nicole, but had to be sure Nicole was staying; a detail he hadn’t nailed down yet. “Babe, she has a medical condition. She can’t help blurting out whatever is on her mind.”

  Nicole stopped separating silverware to watch him sweat. “Really, she seemed lucid to me and she didn’t insult me.”

  “Good. I wasn’t ready to let her know everything just yet.”

  “Well, she has a right to be concerned about my intentions towards you. Walker, she made a good point about me being here and not committed to you.”

  “Nicole, I am close to my mother, but she does not rule my life. She will not get in our way.”

  She walked over to him. “I envy you. I wish I had a mother who took an interest in my life. Walker, don’t be mad at your mom for caring about you. The questions she asked me were fair and made me think.”

  “Yeah, I am lucky to have her. So, exactly what did she ask you?”

  “One particular question turned the light bulb on in my head. I had to make an important decision concerning us, and I have.”

  He pulled a chair from the table to sit. His legs were shaky, and he needed to be seated for whatever Nicole was going to lay on him. “So, what is your decision about us?”

  Nicole took a beer from the fridge and a frosted mug from the freezer. Pouring part of the liquid in the glass, she handed it to him. “
Do you want me to tell you now or after dinner?”

  “Now, Nicole. Tell me now. I can’t take any more surprises today,” he said downing the cold beer.

  She moved his arm out of the way to sit on his lap. “I decided I want to stay with you. I want to be with you and make this work.”

  He released a sigh. Her dark brown eyes glared into his shooting bolts of electricity through him. “Jesus, Nicole; you scared me. I thought you wanted out.”

  Her arms went around his neck. “Nope, I want in. I want to love you as no other woman has. I’m sorry I don’t know where to begin but I’m willing to learn what I need to do.”

  Walker tapped the end of her nose with his index finger. “You’re doing it, babe. You said what you want now I’m going to make it happen.” He couldn’t hold it in any longer. His lips sealed hers in a passionate kiss. Her hands crawled through his hair, grabbing his ears. “Oh, baby,” he muttered between breaths. “What bad timing having my mother here.”

  Nicole slid her tongue across his teeth wiggling in his lap. “Yup, because I do believe I feel something trying to escape.”

  He held her tight around the waist. “Don’t make a sudden move, or we won’t be eating at this table tonight.”

  “Stop being naughty,” she said getting off his lap. “I have to finish dinner. What did you get from the store?”

  Adjusting his erection to a comfortable position, he cleared his mind before getting up. “I got your insulin from the pharmacy and you’re lady products.”

  She shot him a look. “Huh, you got my feminine products? How did you know I needed that stuff?”

  “I saw the list on the night table and got them for you. I admit that was not an easy task for me to do. I swear every woman in the store had to come down that aisle while I was in it.”

  She laughed. “You are crazy. I’ll give you the money for my stuff soon as I’m done getting dinner on the table.”

  Walker finished his beer and went to the counter getting the insulin from the bag to put in the fridge. “I don’t want your money.”

  “I’m paying you, and that’s final. My insulin is almost a hundred bucks a bottle now that I don’t have insurance to help cover the cost.”