Sublime Wreckage

by Charlene Zapata

  I continue to text Vince and Amanda so they don't worry. I haven't shared what's going on exactly or that I will be moving out. My Grandpa thinks it's best to wait until we have everything in order before telling people. But I can't even express how thrilled I am. I thought I would have to wait until I graduated to get out of that hell. I wouldn't be able to do any of this without my Grandfather. He has been so awesome and understanding. It makes me regret not telling him sooner. But then I wouldn't have met Vincent. Everything happens for a reason. Everything.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  It's been three days since I saw Vincent. I really miss him. My Grandfather and I found a great little apartment that is fully furnished. I was able to sign a 6-month-lease and then do month to month after that since I still don't know when or where I will be going to college. I had to go shopping for some clothes and other personal items to get me by until we go and get my things this weekend. My Grandpa thought it was best to wait until Saturday so my friends could help. I guess he called my mom to inform her I wouldn't be returning home. He didn't say much else about the conversation they had. To be a fly on the wall for that one. It's Wednesday evening and I finally got settled into my new place. I still need some dishes, towels, and new bedding wouldn't hurt. My Grandpa was able to give me enough from his house to get by until I can do some more shopping.

  It feels so great to be in a safe place. The swelling in my face has gone away and my ribs are starting to feel better. I hate that I had to miss school again but hopefully I won't miss another day this year. I'm still bewildered that my Grandpa trusts me so much. He co-signed the lease with me and is okay with me living by myself. It's almost like a dream. I still pinch myself every few minutes to make sure it's real. Now I have to talk to Vince. I need to explain everything that happened. I send him a text with my new address asking him to meet me here. His response is immediate. He replies back that he is already on his way. About fifteen minutes later I hear a knock on my door.

  "Hi." That's all I can seem to get out. Why do I feel shy around him sometimes? I think it has something to do with not seeing him for three days.

  "Maggie." I look up when he doesn't say anything else. I hope he isn't angry with me. But all I see is relief. If I didn't know better I would swear that I just saw a tiny tear slip out of his eye. But he brushed it off so fast I can't be sure. He steps closer until we're touching. He gently wraps his arms around my waist and gives me a small kiss on the mouth.

  "You can do better than that Slick." I grab his face and press my lips firmly to his. I force my way into his mouth seeking the connection I so desperately missed. It's still there. I still want every part of him. I missed him so much. I'm practically ravishing him at this point. My hands have moved to the back of his neck, clinging to him like my life support. Every part of his body is being extremely gentle making sure not to hold me too tight. Every part except his mouth. That part is devouring me whole. And I can't seem to get enough. I don't even care that my lip is burning. The wetness from his mouth is almost like ointment for my wound. He makes every part of my mind, body and soul feel better. I feel whole when I'm with him. We finally pull apart both breathing heavily. He leans his forehead against mine while we reconnect.

  "So can I ask where we are?"

  "Oh right. We have a lot to talk about. Welcome to my new home." I say as I spread my arms wide open showcasing my new apartment. It isn't much. Just a small one bedroom apartment with a kitchen and a living room. There is one bathroom and it's small but I don't care. Because it's mine.

  "What? What in the world happened? How is this possible?"

  "Let's sit down and talk." I explain everything that has happened over the last three days. I decide to leave out most of the details of the physical abuse. I can see his face turning red in anger every time I mention her hitting me so I move past that part quickly. I don't want him doing something he will regret. Besides, what good would it do now? It's finally over.

  "So this is real? You're safe and have your own place? Your Grandfather must really trust you. I totally get why and I think it's really cool. I'm so happy for you. And relieved. So very relieved."

  "I know Vince. My Grandpa is amazing. He has helped me so much. It makes me wish I had told him sooner but then I might not have met you."

  "Maggie, I would have given up ever knowing you if it meant you would have been safe. But I'm glad things worked out the way they did because you are very important to me."

  "You mean a lot to me too. I missed you so much. It was so hard to be apart for this long. I don't know what's going to happen when I go off to college. But we don't need to think about that right now. Tonight I just want to enjoy my new place with you."

  "I'm more than willing to help with that." He gives me a sexy smile then wraps his arm around my shoulder as we snuggle on the couch. I don't have cable yet so there is nothing to watch. We end up talking for the next two hours. I finally kick him out a little after 11 o'clock. I do have to get my beauty sleep. I've got a full day tomorrow. Lots to catch up on. I text Amanda that I will pick her up in the morning to explain everything. I climb into my new bed with freshly washed sheets and fall into a deep sleep.

  The next morning is amazing. I can do whatever I want. Be as loud as I want. Walk around naked if I want. Which I decide against because I mean really, who does that? This is the best feeling in the world. To be free. To not have to tone down my attitude or think very carefully about every single word that comes out of my mouth. To finally be able to breathe.

  I get my phone and play some music while I get ready for school. As loud as I want! I also take as long as I want in the shower. I could seriously get used to living like this! I can't believe it but I don't want to go. I used to run out the door as fast as possible at Patricia's house. Oh well. Just eight more hours until I can come back to my blissful apartment. Now to tell Amanda. She is going to flip!

  I pull up right on time. I beep the horn then see Amanda come running down her front steps. She jumps in the car with a huff.

  "I totally overslept. Sorry."

  "It's okay. So are you ready to hear my big news?"

  "Yes! I almost completely forgot. This whole doing my homework and trying to get good grades is hard. I don't know how you do it all the time. So tell me what's been going on woman."

  "Well, my mom totally flipped out about the car and we got into one of our biggest blow outs ever. I left and went to my Grandpa's. When he saw my bloody lip and swollen face he decided it was time for me to move out. So he co-signed on an apartment for me so I don't have to transfer schools!" I'm practically squealing by the time I finish.

  "OMG! Are you serious? When do I get to see it? Today? Oh please tell me I can see it today? Please! Please! Please!" I love her face when she begs. It cracks me up every time.

  "Of course. We will go straight after school. I promise."

  "Just the two of us?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "Don't get me wrong, I like Vince. I really do. I just feel like I'm getting pushed out of the way. I mean, he probably already saw your apartment didn't he? I'm not first anymore. I get it. And I don't blame you, I just want some you and me time."

  "Amanda I'm so sorry. I know I spend a lot of time with Vince. I will make sure it's just us today."

  That lightens her mood considerably. I know what she means. I didn't even tell her the entire story. I don't know why but I left out everything about my dad. I just didn't feel comfortable sharing something so close to my heart. But I told Vince without hesitation. It's just a different kind of relationship, a unique connection. Maybe I just thought he would get it. And he did.

  School goes by slowly. I have never wanted to leave so badly. I get all the assignments I missed. They are going to keep me busy for the rest of the week and into the weekend. At least I don't have work tonight. My boss is so understanding. My Grandpa called him too and explained I had to leave town for a family emergency. He took me off the schedule until ne
xt week.

  After the final bell rings I head to my locker. Amanda is waiting for me dancing around like a crazy person. You would think she was the one with the new apartment and cool car. But I can't blame her. We have been best friends for so long that I can't wait to share everything with her.

  "Hey Chick! You ready to blow this joint?"

  "Absolutely! Can I drive? Please, please, please?" She looks at me with her big blue eyes holding her hands in front of her face in true begging fashion. How can I resist her?

  "I guess." I dangle the keys in front of her then drop them into her eagerly awaiting palm. She takes off like a bat out of hell. "You can't leave without me." I yell down the hall after her.

  Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to let her drive. I forgot what a bad driver she really is. But I bite my tongue because she's having so much fun. We turn the radio up singing along to all our favorite songs while Amanda takes the extremely long way to my new apartment. Once she parks the car she turns to me with a very serious look.

  "Maggie, I'm so glad you're alright. When we didn't hear from you I got so worried. I know what your mom is capable of. I never forgot the time she beat the crap out of you while I was sitting in the next room. God Maggie. We were just kids. I could hear your screams but I didn't know what to do. I know that's why you stopped having me over. You saw how terrified I was. You were always trying to protect me. I never told you this but I talked to my parents about what happened. I know I promised not to but I couldn't stand the thought of you being in that house with such a horrible mother. But my parents didn't do a damn thing. They said it wasn't our business. Can you believe that? What bullshit. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I'm so happy you got away from her. I don't know what I would do without you in my life. It seems like I should be the one giving you strength but it's always been the other way around. You have always been my rock. I love you like a sister."

  "Amanda, I love you too! I'm not mad you told your parents. It was the right thing to do. It just sucks that we live in this crappy town where everyone is afraid to get into each other's business. And you do give me strength. You've gotten me through all this time. Seeing your smiling face in the mornings and being able to escape to your house was a life saver. You are such a good friend!"

  "Ok. Enough with the sap. I want to see this amazing apartment of yours!" We jump out of the car and head inside. "This place is great Maggie. I love it. I can't wait to have my first sleepover! Well, if my parents will let me. They aren't as trusting as your Grandpa. I'm sure they will think we are throwing wild teenage parties and forbid it. But a girl can dream."

  "So what do you want to do?"

  "Actually... homework."

  "Really?" I'm stunned. I don't think I've ever heard those words come out of her mouth. Like ever.

  "I could really use your help with some of this stuff. Please?"

  "That sounds great to me. I have so much work to get caught up on from missing another three days. Let's order pizza and we can study our little hearts out."

  After about four hours of studying, catching up on school work and girl talk it's time to take Amanda home. I told her I was getting my stuff on Saturday but that Vince and my Grandfather would both be with me. I didn't want to subject her to my mother's evil glare. I can't even begin to imagine how pissed off she is that I'm not coming home. She just lost her monthly income and her servant. I'm sure she's livid.

  Friday goes by quickly. I was able to catch up on most of my assignments. I'm feeling more and more confident about calculus since Vince has been helping me. Things are really starting to look up. We decide to all hang out at my place Friday night. Vince and I are snuggled up on the couch and Amanda sits in the only other chair in the living room while we watch a movie. Tommy decided to lay on the floor instead of sitting in one of the kitchen chairs. I don't blame him. Those chairs kind of suck. But they're my chairs so I love them anyway. After two movies and lots of junk food it's time to kick everyone out. Tommy agrees to give Amanda a ride home leaving Vince here with me.

  "Do you want me to stay?"

  "I would love that more than anything but my Grandpa will be here in the morning and I don't want to give him the wrong idea. I hope you understand."

  "Of course Maggie. I can see how much he means to you. I understand he is important and you don't want to disappoint him. How are you feeling about seeing your mom tomorrow?"

  "I think the better question is how are you feeling about meeting my mom?"

  "I'm not going to lie. It's going to take every ounce of self-control not to attack that woman after what she put you through. But I know that wouldn't solve anything so I'll keep my cool."

  "That makes me feel better. Don't give her any ammunition. If you react it will just be adding fuel to the fire. It's done with now. It's over. I want to let it go and move on."

  "Maggie, you amaze me. After everything she put you through, I don't know how you can move on from that. It's remarkable."

  "No, it's just called being resilient. I think God gives us our own strengths and for me it's being able to endure anything. I choose not to let these things destroy me but rather build me into the person I'm meant to be. I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't gone through what I did. It's all a matter of perspective. I decided a long time ago that I wouldn't let her break me. I'm stronger than that."

  "I'm in awe of you. I don't care what you call it, you still blow my mind. How can an 18-year-old girl have so much insight?" He leans over kissing my mouth softly.

  "Ok Slick. Time to go. I need my beauty sleep."

  "Fine. I'll go. But I will be back bright and early with your favorite breakfast sandwich." He gives his infamous sexy smirk while pulling me from the couch. I walk him to the door and give one last goodnight kiss.

  Tomorrow is a big day. I have to face my mother. She will finally see the ramifications of her actions. I wonder if it's hit her yet. That she's about to lose everything.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  I wake up with my heart pounding so loud it feels like it wants to escape my body. The sheets are wrapped around my legs. I can't seem to get free. It's suffocating. The words I dread keep haunting my ears like thousands of tiny shouts. Daddy, no Daddy, don't go. Don't leave me. I start to panic because I can't get free. I fall off the bed landing on the floor with a thud as my breathing turns erratic. I have got to get a grip. It was just a dream. A dream that seems to haunt me wherever I go. Will it ever end? Will I ever be free of that tragic day? The day that changed the course of the rest of my life. I start taking slow, deep breaths. I keep telling myself it was just a dream. Unfortunately it does nothing to sooth my nerves because it's not just a dream. It's my life and it happened. I was there. But reality starts to sink in and I'm finally able to pull myself off the floor. I need a shower.

  Just as I finish getting ready I hear the door. I glance over at the clock, it's just after 8:30. That must be Vince. My Grandpa isn't due here until 9 o'clock. I open the door still trying to shake off the nightmare that won't leave me alone.

  "Good morning beautiful. How did you sleep?"

  "Hey. Come on in." I can't seem to get past the dream. It was the same as it always is, except this time something felt different. I don't know what. I can't seem to remember all the details. Usually I have no problem envisioning every specific part of the accident.

  "What's wrong? You seem upset." I head over to the couch pulling Vince behind me. I see the bag in his hand with my breakfast but I don't have much of an appetite. Nightmares will do that to you.

  "I just had a bad dream. It was about the accident with my father. It's a reoccurring thing and has been for years. I'm used to it. It's just that something felt different this time and I can't place what exactly. I think that's what's bothering me. Sorry. I'm trying to snap out of it."

  "Take your time. Is there anything I can do? Will talking about it help?"

  "No. I just want to forget about it. I have enough stress today, I don't need
to add more just because of a nightmare. But thanks for offering." Vince takes my hand and rubs his thumb up and down my wrist. I start to forget about the dream and focus on the here and now. I still can't believe we found each other. He brightens my day so much. My appetite slowly starts to return so we eat while we wait for my Grandpa.

  "Thanks again for breakfast. It was yummy."

  "Anytime." Just then I hear the door. I'm kind of nervous about introducing Vince to my Grandpa. I really hope they get along.

  "Hi Grandpa. Come on in. There is someone I want you to meet." We walk the five short steps into the living room and I introduce the two important men in my life. "Grandpa this is Vincent Moreno. Vincent, my Grandfather Colonel Joe Wilson." He loves it when I introduce him as colonel. It reminds people, especially boys, he isn't to be messed with.

  "Hello Sir. It's so nice to meet you." Vince shakes hands with my Grandpa. I can't help but smile from ear to ear.

  "Hello Vincent. It's nice to meet you too. I understand you know what the situation is with Maggie and her mother?"

  "I do. I have no problem helping Maggie get her things."

  "You can help her while I keep Patricia occupied. She won't bother you. But let's try to make this as fast as we can. I don't know how long I can be in the same room as that woman without losing my temper." I see Vince give my Grandpa a small nod of agreement.

  We decide to head over in Vince's truck. My Grandpa follows us in his car. Vince even brought some boxes and packaging supplies. He is so thoughtful. The closer we get to the house the more my body starts to display my nerves. My leg is bouncing up and down like crazy. My hands can't stop fidgeting until Vince reaches over and grabs them.