Shocking Heaven

by Sidebottom, D. H.

  He smirked as his eyes dropped to my mouth “And I like just you E.”

  His hands slid round the side of my face as he gave me a hot and demanding kiss, his hunger and need, evident in each sweep of his tongue but he pulled back and ran his finger down my nose. “Need to hear those words now babe.”

  Grimacing, I turned back round and remained silent for a while but he didn’t push until a little later, giving me the courage boost I needed to build. “You know, these words that you lock up, they might be the reason you hold so much pain babe.”

  He planted a small kiss on the top of my head “Free ‘em babe, get ‘em out of there. Just fucking throw ‘em out there, launch ‘em so far out there babe, that you finally get to fuckin’ face ‘em.”

  I thought his Tourette’s was getting worse!

  I fidgeted with my fingers that were settled on my lap as a tear broke free with his words. The most words I had ever witnessed from him were the very words I needed to hear, probably the only words that would liberate my own.

  “I really don’t know if you’ll wanna face them Jax, not me” I whispered honestly as I chewed my bottom lip frantically.

  I felt him nod behind me as his fingers took hold of mine; halting my nervous play “They’re just words babe.”

  Swallowing heavily I drew my knees up in front of me and hugged them, needed that tiny bit of distance before I put a wrecking ball through the pedestal he had put me on.

  “I loved my Dad so much and he loved me” I sighed, feeling the sadness start to envelope me “He wasn’t my real dad, my Mom had an affair but he…he just took us on, nurtured me and Aaron as his own, but me, well I was his princess, his Rockin’ Princess he used to call me” I hadn’t realised I was trembling until Jax’s finger slid down my spine in a comforting act.

  “He was a roadie with Guns N’ Roses as we were born and every opportunity he got he’d drag us along with him.”

  “The Gibson babe?”

  I nodded “Yeah, practically grew up with the lot of them. They were like my family. God, fuckin’ great times.” I laughed at some memories “But my Mom, she wouldn’t come, never wanted my Dad never mind the tours or the weeks on a bus and the draining schedule, but my Dad and me, Hell it was what we lived for.”

  “I hear ya’ babe.”

  I nodded at Jax’s understanding. “Would you do it again babe?” he asked as his finger ran along the tattoo on my neck.

  “God yes. Without a fucking thought baby.”

  I could sense his smile as he pulled me back and snuggled me back into him.

  I hesitated and sighed before continuing my story but Jax sat patiently, never pushing, never rushing me. “I was about 13 when we came back from a five month tour and we noticed something odd with my mother. Aaron had stayed home for this latest tour and he’d become withdrawn and edgy but it was my Mom who frightened me.”

  I swallowed back the nausea and the slight tingle in my veins but it was beginning to win, I could feel its raw power igniting my craving, my need to rid the pain.

  As though he’d noticed my struggle, Jax’s arms surrounded me and pulled me tighter “You’re good babe. Let ‘em free. I promise E, I promise it’ll ride the hunger.”

  So taking a deep breath I told him the rest. “It was about six weeks later when my Dad had to go back on the road but my Mom refused to let me go, said I’d missed too much school and she needed me with her. Cos’ it was a short tour Dad agreed.”

  Diverting my gaze to the lake I closed my eyes “It soon became apparent that she’d got into drugs…heavy stuff.” I heard him suck in air through his teeth as his thumb started a rhythm across my palm, helping me fight the sweats and shakes.

  “The bills started piling up and then my Dad returned and I thought everything would be okay” I let a bitter laugh expel from me as I shook my head “He became addicted right along with her.”

  “Fuck!” Jax hissed and I nodded.

  My brain was jerking with every single shot of electricity that pierced it and my shakes were becoming unbearable as my leg started twitching rapidly. “Ride it babe” His stern voice filtered through and I inhaled harshly a few times, desperate to settle the itch.

  “They built up a drug debt with the wrong people” I told him outright and I felt him stiffen behind me. “Couldn’t pay off what they owed so…so…”

  I stood up swiftly, my leg tapping rapidly on the floor as I yanked at my hair “Fuck!”

  “Fight it babe.”

  My fingernails had become imbedded so far in my palms the blood was dripping from my hand and I concentrated on the drip, drip, drip. “I can’t” I wheezed.

  “Listen to me babe. I won’t let it win so you might as well fucking fight it cos’ there is no fuckin’ way you ever getting that shit again E.”

  My teeth sank into my bottom lip so much that I think they crunched my jaw as my stomach clenched in anger and my eyes blazed as I turned back to him. “Try fuckin’ stopping me Jax” I growled.

  His answer was to slam me against a tree trunk, pin my arms above me and thrust his groin against me “Oh I will babe. No way…no fucking more. You hear me?”

  “Go fuck yourself” I spat nastily.

  “I’d rather fuck you babe” he growled back and I turned away “Just let me go Jax.”

  Shaking his head slowly he leant in a bit closer “Can’t do that till you calm the fuck down babe.”

  “Get the fuck off me Jax. You’ve got no right to do this!”

  He shrugged but refused to let me go “Tell me.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head “No!”

  “Tell me babe.”

  “NO.”

  “TELL…ME…WHAT…HAPPENED…E!”

  A sob broke free, a gut wrenching cry before I pinned him with my gaze. “The bitch pimped us out!” I whispered.

  He dropped his arms immediately and stared at me “Christ!”

  I looked away, couldn’t look at the disgust on his face as I battled my demons. “She pimped us to pay for her debts” I repeated.

  “Just let them fuck us Jax…But my Dad; he couldn’t go through with it and tried to stop them but…they…they….”

  I sank to the floor, my stomach revolting at my words as it upended all of Jax’s wonderful lunch. The pain was horrendous, as though my heart was being torn straight through my chest as my mind tried in vain to shut down my body against the memories.

  “They killed him because he changed his mind and wouldn’t let them touch me…they fucking stabbed him like a piece of fucking meat…left him to bleed all over my god damn bedroom floor like…like he wasn’t worth a fuck!”

  And that’s when I just started screaming, loudly and violently, my lungs forcing air through my mouth so forcibly it burnt the sides of my throat.

  I felt myself being lifted and carried over to the pond before I was unceremoniously dragged in with him, right into the centre. It was so cold it stunted my breath and stopped my screams instantly, letting free the tears and heartache.

  He held me tight, refusing to let me go as he shouldered my pain like I had taken his. “Good Girl.”

  My legs wrapped around his waist as I claimed his mouth with my own. The need to forget demanded his attention and I let him know just how much I needed him.

  I needed to feel him, feel something other than the racking agony that cursed my body.

  He replied by kissing me right back, his passion, his hunger and his own need for me was reflected in his control of my lips but then he pulled back and softened the kiss, slowed it right down until it was nothing but tender and sweet. “Need it slow babe. No fucking, just loving E.”

  A choking sound left my throat but he swallowed it whole as he carried me out of the water and over to the mass of bluebells before lowering me down and rearing back to gaze at me “You hear me babe?”

  “I hear ya’ baby.”

  His lips devoured me before he slowly undid my jeans and leisurely peeled them down my le
gs, his eyes never leaving mine as he travelled down my body.

  His mouth kissed each toe, then each of the soles of my feet, then each Star that decorated my skin until he reached my knickers and when he discovered their obstruction he ripped them, just ripped them clean off.

  Good God!

  His answering smirk to my gasp heated my blood so much it felt like I was on fire. “Christ Jax, I need you so much” I whispered.

  “I’m here babe, right fucking here. Right fucking beside you, and I aint going anywhere until I’m right inside you babe, loving you hard.”

  I nodded wildly as I sucked in my lips and as he sensed my pain his tongue swiped the full length of my sex.

  My head tipped back as I released a long moan. “Watch me devour you babe. Watch me eat your delicious pussy.”

  My eyes opened and I propped myself up on my elbows to do as he asked. “So fucking good. Your cunt should be illegal cos’ it’s a fucking drug babe.”

  Oh Christ! I was going to explode.

  His tongue swirled around my clit as his finger entered me, its calloused tip brushing roughly against my inner wall. “Oh Fuckkkkk” I hissed as he hit the sensitive sweet spot inside. “Oh yeah, you like that don’t ya’ babe.”

  “God yes…oh shit…JAX!” I was gone, floating somewhere beyond pleasure and pain, the clash of both took my breath and my senses, but more importantly, it took my craving.

  Before I had even reached the ground Jax was very slowly entering me. So slowly and so utterly gently it brought tears to my eyes. “Eve” he whispered as his mouth rested beside my ear. His cheek pressed against mine as he made love to me so beautifully I never wanted to let go.

  He tugged at my T-shirt and lifted it over my head before unclasping my bra and then devoured my breasts, worshipping every inch of skin and idolising my heavy nipples. “You have beautiful tits babe” he growled as he started to speed up, his need to claim me had my hips lifting in time to each thrust. “God, take me Jax.”

  He growled as his teeth sank into the soft flesh under my ear but he refused to up the beat any more, his thrusts still at a regular rhythm as his hips drummed a soft rock tune, refusing to make it heavy. “I’ll take you babe cos’ you’re mine, all fucking mine.”

  That was it, I exploded wildly, forcefully and so utterly intensely I think I broke a toe.

  I felt him swell and harden inside me to an incredible thickness as my orgasm triggered his and he erupted so powerfully he actually stopped breathing. I grew a little worried, but he eventually pulled in a long ragged breath and I sagged in relief.

  “Thought you’d left me there baby” I grinned.

  He opened his eyes and smiled a heart-clenching, breath-taking, utterly devastating smile that captured each and every piece of my broken soul.

  “I thought so too babe.”

  CHAPTER 15

  “Come on little girl” Jax laughed as he dipped into the water and emerged under my legs, lifting me high on his shoulders before catapulting me across the lake and deep into its depths.

  “You Bastard!” I choked out as I emerged to his raucous laughter.

  “It’s not cold babe.”

  My chattering teeth were arguing with him.

  “Jax, it’s bloody freezing” I swan back over to him and wrapped myself around him, gaining any bit of heat he was producing as his lips warmed my blue ones.

  “Christ babe, you’re freezing. You should have said.”

  I narrowed my eyes on him before he winked mischievously.

  His bright eyes lowered to watch my pebbled nipples bob on the surface of the water. “Fuck babe. Now I wanna take you all over again” he said before he mouthed one.

  Groaning I pushed my hips against him, letting him know I was right there with him.

  His teeth delicately grazed my sensitive flesh and I rewarded him by slipping down on his rigid length. “Yeah babe” he growled out “Fuck me!”

  I didn’t argue with him as I rode him hard and fast, both of us loudly acknowledging another orgasm as we clung together in the depths of the cold water.

  I just couldn’t get enough of him and he seemed to experiencing the very same obsession.

  We were sat on a rock, still naked but shrouded in the plaid blanket he’d brought for the picnic, both of us waiting to dry off before we re-dressed.

  “I need to fetch something babe” he told me as he stood up and walked over to the car. My eyes tracked every part of his delicious naked backside as he moved smoothly across the distance; each buttock rippling magnificently with each stride.

  “Wow” I whispered to myself on a sigh. “Heard that babe.”

  I was still chuckling when he returned with what looked like a piece of paper in his hand.

  He grinned at me before reseating himself beside me, and wrapped the blanket back around us.

  I frowned as he passed me the paper. “Need your thoughts babe?”

  It took me a while to read what he’d wrote but I knew by the tingling on my neck and the flutter in my stomach that this song was going to be epic, in fact fucking epic was a better description.

  I looked at him “Did you write this baby?”

  He nodded once.

  “About me Jax?”

  He nodded again.

  “It’s…Wow…yeah; I dunno what to say really Jax, but Wow.”

  He nodded and pursed his lips “Wrote it for us babe.”

  His eyes found my wide ones as he silently asked what I thought he was asking. “You wanna duet with me?”

  He nodded again.

  “This song will be…ours?” I whispered.

  A small smile lit his face and he cupped my cheek “Just ours babe.”

  “Christ, I dunno what to say Jax.”

  I was stumped. He’d written a song just for us, with us in mind.

  “Nothing to say but yes babe, want you there right beside me when it rocks out the fans” his eyes were searching mine for an answer but he really didn’t need to look too deep.

  “Yes” I said softly.

  “Yeah babe?”

  It was my turn to nod now and I was greeted to his beautiful grin “Gonna rock it hard babe.”

  I smiled wide “Try and fucking stop me baby!”

  He launched himself at me, rolling us around as I laughed loudly “I take it your glad I said yes Jax!”

  He turned onto his back and had me straddled on his lap within seconds. “Babe…” he whispered as his eyes grew dark. I nodded as I whispered back “Yeah, I hear ya’ baby.”

  He gulped and scrunched up his nose “Need to say it babe.”

  His eyes softened as his hand cupped my cheek. “Okay” I wheezed.

  “Never said it before babe. Never felt it either, but you, you’ve dragged it out there babe, cracked me open and dug deep, fucking deep babe.” I swallowed heavily, my heart pounding so strong I think we both saw its pace through my chest bone.

  As if he felt it, he lifted a finger to the piercing on my chest and gently traced around the edge of the tiny pink diamond. His eyes lifted to mine and their intensity took my breath away and each frantic beat of my heart stuttered wildly.

  “I’m falling in love with you Eve Hudson.”

  Taking two small breaths then one large one, I cupped his face with both my hands “And I have already fell Jaxon Cooper.”

  He growled, sat up and engulfed me in the most passionate kiss yet. The power and desire in it brought me to my knees as they literally buckled underneath me and my ass plonked onto his lap. His strong arms wrapped around me, supporting me while he devoured me.

  Every single piece of his heart was expressed while we connected so deeply we became a single entity, each of us refusing to end the kiss as it lasted for an eternity.

  “Fuck babe” he whispered as he finally pulled away and rested his forehead against mine, his eyes locked on mine “Say it again E. Need to hear it again babe.”

  “I love you Jax” I stated firmly “All of you baby. Your b
eautiful heart, your tortured soul, your pain, your pleasure, your mind, hell even your bloody Tourette’s!”

  He grinned at me and planted a soft kiss on my nose. “There aint one inch of you that aint perfect babe. I see through your pain E, and all I see is your beauty, your bright spirit and the largest heart I’ve ever known, and the most amazing pair of tits on the planet babe” he finished with a wink.

  I laughed. “Yeah baby, your ass is pretty magnificent too” I winked back.

  ***

  Jax sulked tremendously when I asked him to drop me back at my dorm early that evening. He wanted me to spend the night at his place but after the emotional turmoil we had both endured that day, we both needed the silence of our own thoughts.

  His pain as he told me about his sister will never leave me. And I thought my life was hell. To lose his sister so cruelly, well, I was surprised he wasn’t fucked up more than I was.

  We both knew how it felt to drag yourself through life. How to pick the shattered pieces of your soul up off the floor, tuck them in your pocket and carry on but we did it and to be honest, I thought we did it damn well, even if I did have a penchant for whips.

  Luce beamed widely at me as I entered the kitchen and flicked on the kettle. “You okay Hun?” I asked her with narrow eyes. She was up to something and that always worried me.

  “Uh huh.”

  My eyes narrowed further as I spooned coffee granules into my cup, holding up the coffee canister to Luce, asking if she wanted one.

  She nodded and sighed happily. “If that smile has been put there by my brother then I really don’t wanna hear it Hun.”